+Author's note

Sorry for the long hiatus- BUT GUESS WHO BOUGHT DRAGON AGE INQUISITION AND IS NEVER GOING TO SEE THE SUN AGAIN?!

Idea and request by Hanimira

Honestly, no one really knew how it all started. I mean, there was obviously the rivalry between RED and BLU,

But you two..

You both brought it to new extremes.

That's right. The RED Scout and you, the BLU Scout, have been held responsible for more than half the destruction between the two teams. If it wasn't for the high kill streak you two had, you both would have been fired long ago.

Today's Mission was held at Upwards, home to ridiculously high cliffs and obstacles.

The deaths that occurred there would be considered almost comical if it wasn't for your jobs.

"PUSH THE CART!!"

You grinned. Bullets were raining around, and bombs exploded at your heels, but you avoided them all with ease as you pushed the cart almost effortlessly.

Your team was currently flanking the REDs, thanks to Spy's excellent skills, he sapped the RED's nest, making it simple to mow them down.

"HAHAHAHA! WHO SENDS LEETLE BABIES TO FIGHT?!"

The BLU Heavy skipped forwards, shooting everyone down with the Medic grinning madly behind him.

You laughed as you saw the point.

"Guys! I got this! We got-"

RED SCOUT ⚾ BLU SCOUT

Everything went black, and you popped up in the respawn, narrowing your eyes viciously.

"Scout..."

+++

The RED Scout cackled wildly as he swung his baseball bat around carelessly. He managed to kill the BLU Scout in one swing!

The REDs managed to stop the cart right before the point, and killed most of your team members.

As the payload started rolling backwards, the REDs started cheering.

That's when you started flying into view, a soda can in your hand, dashing at lightening speed.

You laughed as you started distracting the REDs, their sad attempts to catch you were only met with empty hands, when the RED Scout started running after you.

"Hey! I got dis!!"

It was like electricity was pulsing through your veins, your heart beating wildly as you ran towards the RED base, with the Scout chasing your tail.

When the effects of the soda ran off, you ran towards the side.

"Hahaha! That ain't gonna save ya BLU bastard!!"

RED Scout grinned, and was about to grab you by the hair when you turned around suddenly and pushed him off the cliff.

RED SCOUT fell to a painful clumsy death! 💀

RED Scout soon woke up in respawn, gritting his teeth.

"Scout..."

+++

"Great job guys! We're almost there!"

Your cheerful words lifted everyone's spirits as they pushed the cart up the wooden rail.

"Hey (Y/n)! Ah need ta know where it's safe ta put mah sentry! Go check it out!"

"Got it Engie!"

Dashing ahead, you boldly made way through the enemy territory when you were met with the RED Scout face to face.

You both stopped in your tracks, glowering at each other, circling the ground like a pair of wild dogs about to fight.

"RED..."

"BLU..."

You smirked, leaning on your baseball bat.

"Well, well, well.. if it isn't the RED Scout, shouldn't you be home, drinking your milk little boy?"

RED Scout gave a grin.

"Speaking of milk.."

He reached behind his back pocket, earning a mortified look from you.

"Oh no, don't you dar-"

+++

The RED cackled madly as he barely outran your grasp. You screamed while you ran after him, your weapon raised high, while milk poured down the side of your head.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!"

"No way are ya gonn-"

The RED Scout ran straight into your team's payload cart, knocking the wind out of him and sending his weapon flying away.

The Heavy and Sniper who were pushing the cart and just stopped and laughed.

Coming down into the wooden tunnel, you stopped the BLU Heavy, who raised his fist at the Scout's groaning figure on the ground.

You softly pushed the Heavy's arm away and dragged the RED's Scout off the rail and to the side, safely out of sight.

The RED Scout looked up at you with bewilderment as he watched you kneel right next to him.

Doubting his eyes, the Scout looked up at your smiling face, and sat up as he started spluttering.

"I..you.. y-ya saved me!"

You smiled sweetly.

"Of course Scout, if anyone's going to kill you, it's going to be me!"

"Wha-"

BLU SCOUT 🍗 RED SCOUT

+++

"NO FRIGGIN' WAY DID SHE JUST KILL ME WITH A PIECE OF MEAT!!! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!?!"

RED Demoman popped up right next to Scout in the respawn room.

"Git yooor head in tha game laddie!! The BLUs are pushing hard!!"

RED Scout grit his teeth, muttering to himself as he started rummaging through the weapon cabinet.

"Well I'll just push back harder!!"

+++

The BLUs were just right before the final point now, the RED Engineer set up a sentry nest up on the second floor, causing a hail of raining bullets on whoever dared come near the cart.

The BLUs were right outside, camping outside with their own set up as well. It was a tight match between the two teams, with only a minute on the clock.

"Heavy! Come on and take cover behind the payload with me! Medic! Heal us from afar!"

The two men nodded at your words and went right into action, Pyro guarded the BLU nest while the others were trying to cover you from behind.

The RED Scout jumped out of respawn, fuming as he searched the area for any glimpse of you.

Squinting his eyes, he saw a familiar pair of small feet desperatly pushing from the side of the cart.

Grinning, Scout ran fowards for his target, with the most humilating weapon he could find in the weapons cabinet.

Scout's knuckles tightened on the giant candy cane. Quickly thinking of a witty insult, he saw that the medic who was walking behind you started disappearing into red smoke..

"NOOO!!!"

Scout lunged the candy can forward, hitting the RED Spy's forhead with a large SMACK!

He didn't care about the two BLUs in front of him looking up at him like a maniac, or the nagging he would hear from his team mates later.

He was going to be the one to kill you!

Right at the moment Scout took out his scatter gun, the BLUs faces turned into a mask of terror as a crisp voice cut through the battlements.

"3..2...1! BLU fails!!"

The BLUs were out of time, and as their punishment, they were hailed by bullets, having their limbs hacked off or just burned to death.

After watching the BLU Heavy die right next to you, You looked up in fear and started to run away.

"OH HELL NO!!"

Scout lunged forwards to grab her by the back of your shirt, to which he succeeded, but he didn't think he'd trip over the railings.

But soon he tumbled forwards into an awkward human rubber ball with you, and he landed straight on top of you.

You looked up at Scout in fear and realized you were pinned to the ground, helpless.

The RED Scout sneered and grabbed the candy cane he used a while ago.

"Bad luck girly, next time, don't mess wit da RED-"

"SCOUT!!!"

Red Scout turned around to see the entire RED team watching him, with a look of adoration on their faces.

Spy cleared his throat after yelling, and smiled in admiration.

"If 'ou wanted to save zhe girl, 'ou should 'ave told me!"

"Wait, wat-"

"Awww.. lookit tha little guy! He saved the BLU Scout from gettin' killed from us! Ain't that sweet fellas?"

The men cooed and 'awwwed' at the "cute" scene in front of them.

"Hey! Wait a minute!! Dis isn't what it looks like!!! Here, BLU Scout can tell you guys! Right (Y/n)!?!"

He looked down, only to find you looking up at him with sparkling eyes.

"Is.. is that true Scout? You saved me??"

"Yeah! I mean, no! Look, I was gonna kill yo-"

Solider gave a booming laugh as he looked at Scout's reddening face.

"Awww!! Look! He's too shy!!"

The REDs all laughed and wolf whistled at Scout, and turned crimson with distress.

He leaned back, groaning as he slapped a hand on his forhead, only to be startled with a sudden peck on his cheek.

"See ya later Scout~"

The men all screamed and gave out cheers as they watched you walk sassily out the exit, while the RED Scout into a puddle of a steaming mess.

What did he just get himself into?