+Author's note

I may or may not have done most of the things in the following story to my friends and family

They were never the type of people to get along.

Perhaps it was the enormous age gap? Or was it their clashing personalities?
Maybe it was their difference in opinions?

But whatever the reason, Heavy and Scout got over their own differences due to their mutual joy of harassing you.

You regretted showing your enthusiasm for Disney animations; it became your greatest bane ever since the topic was brought up a month ago.

Basking in the slower hours of the day, you reclined to the base's rec room, a book propped up in your lap, a glass of cola on your left, a bag of chips on your right.

A perfect set up for a perfect day.

You were peacefully reading your book, when suddenly the sound of an oriental harp sounded.

Looking up, you saw Heavy in a long black wig. His expression pained, with his eyes shining wistfully as he walked slowly into the room.

"Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect man.. or a perfect Heavy.."

You rolled your eyes, and continued to read the book.

Heavy went on despite your hardest attempts to ignore him. Scout soon walked in with a radio, which you now realized that he was responsible for the BGM.

"Can it be? That Heavy not meant to play this parrrt?

Heavy walked forwards, and lifted the hems of his shirt and acted as if he was jumping across some rocks.

"Now I see, if Heavy were truly to be himself.. Heavy would break baby team's heart.."

Grasping your cup of cola, Heavy peered in and gazed at his expression through the black fizzing drink.

"Who is that man I see; staring straight, back at meeee????"

You gave up and endured the rest.

+++

Hot steam rose in the bathroom. You were rinsing your hair, when you heard a playful knock on the door.

Squinting, you rinsed the soap from your face, and called out to answer the knocking.

"Whaaaat???"

You stopped and realized the knocking was oddly familiar...

Wait a minute.

Scout's muffled voice sang from the other side of the door, still audible even with the sound of the shower running.

"Do you wanna build a-"

"FUCK OFF SCOUT!!!!"

+++

Heavy and Scout moved in sync around you, dancing and swirling while you tried to finish your meal at the table.

"We are siamese if you please..!!"

Engineer got up, and took his plate with him. He knew better than to stick around when Heavy and Scout were doing their musical numbers.

You slowly narrowed your eyes, refusing to look at either men as you chewed your pasta relunctantly.

"We are siamese if you don't please!"

With that, they started knocking random objects off of the table.

+++

You were pretty pissed off with the two men now. Seeing that you weren't really safe, even in your room; you took refuge in Spy's smoking room while he was away.

You sighed, and rubbed your temples. Heavy and Scout were working full heartedly on their goal to annoy you.

'If only they'd work as hard for battle'

You gave an amused snort, and leaned back in Spy's arm chair. You decided to write the story you had been working on the past few weeks.

Whipping out your notebook, you proceeded writing;

'Ah, Elizabeth! My dearest!'

You wrote down the sentences as you organized your thoughts.

'If only you would stop being so stubborn, perhaps you would have-'

A muffled noise on the other side of the dark oak door caught your attention.

"...what?"

Silence fell. Shrugging, you went back to writing your story.

'-met up with our old friend and have learned the truth! It's-"

The doorknob turned, and Heavy came in, holding up a yellow tabby cat, Scout singing at the top his lungs, Heavy providing the chorus.

"IT'S DA CIRCLEEEEEE OF LIFEEEEEE!!!"

Heavy lifted the cat higher.

"AND IT RULES US ALLLLLL!!!"

You looked up, now completely pissed with the two.

"You two-"

Looking at the cat Heavy was holding, you tried to remember where you had seen the cat while they both ignored you and kept singing.

"Wait.. is that the Administrator's..."

A sudden buzz interupted the base, and an angry growl rang throughout the building.

"Heavy and Scout, come to the headquarters, with my cat. Now."

The cat gave a meow.

+++

Heavy and Scout were both sent to the coal mines for a week. The Administrator was so furious that she even called the battles off so she could punish the two for stealing her cat.

Afterall, poor Mr. Snuffles was terrified to have been suddenly snatched away like that.

You laid peacefully on the shadier parts of the roof with Soldier and Demoman, the three of you just drinking and lazily chatting.

"Aye, I bet tha' ain' gunna be tha end of that! Surely the Administrator's got moar planned for them!"

Soldier snorted.

"I don't care what happens as long as the base is finally quiet from their racket!"

You and Demoman gave a nod, remembering the times that Heavy and Scout had their little musical numbers.

Demoman scratched his chin.

"But they really pulled off tha' duet pretty well! That... that.. hell..fire.. no.. hunchback.. uh..."

Soldier thought for a moment.

"Out there?"

"Yeah! Tha' was the song!"

The three of you murmered in agreement. Heavy and Scout really were good at their impressions of Judge Frollo and Quasimodo.

Who knew Scout could pull off a bass voice?

Demoman burped, and chugged down another bottle of scrumpy.

"Ayeee.. what do ya suppose we do? We got a whooole week of ceasefire"

The three of you lied there on the roof, stumped.

Soldier spoke up.

"Do you want to watch some Disney movies?"

"OOOH!! I'll go git tha'snacks!!"

"Okay! Then I'll go get the guys!"

"And I'll find the movie maggots!"