Paczki is the traditional treat eaten before celebrating Lent, meant to use up all a bakers stored flours/etc for a nice treat!

Paczki is pronounced punch-key. In Australia it's called a Krapfen.

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone! (Yes, it's a real holiday, lol)

"Paczki!!"

"Krapfen!!"

"No, paczki!!"

"It's called bloody krapfen, shiela!"

This had been going on for what seemed like hours, and neither of you were going to quit anytime soon. You both knew you were right. Which, you were!

However, being where you two grew up, the two of you had differing opinions. Sniper, who grew up an Aussie, knew the iconic treat as krapfen. You, however, thought it was a paczki.

Grabbing the box, you pulled out a paczki/krapfen donut treat and proceeded to shove it all over Sniper's face. He tried to stop you, but jelly sloshed everywhere, blinding him.

He ripped the box of paczki from you, smearing the jelly out of his eyes in the process. Holding the whole box of donuts, he pulled every last one out and raised his fist full of mush.

"Noooo!!" Scout cried out. What? He wanted a paczki!

Sniper was going to smush every single one on your face in revenge.

(Freeze the frame here and insert the to be continued meme)

Anyways, how did this all start, you ask?

Well....

"Happy Fat Tuesday everyone!"

You burst through the rec-room door with loads and loads of boxes. Turning heads stared at what you beheld.

Scout burst out laughing.

"Fat Tuesday..?!" He snorted and chuckled, falling on the floor whilst clutching his sides. You looked at him deadpan.

"Does anyone know what Fat Tuesday is?" You asked.

"Ve haff berliners on Fat Tuesday!" Medic called.

Medic suddenly gasped. "You brought berliners, didn't jou?!?" He was shouting excitedly from the other side of the room, jumping up from what he was doing. He was busy in a chess match with Heavy.

"Nobody cares about you, Medic!" The Author broke in from the fourth wall.

"Yeah, this is a Sniper fic!" A random reader called.

Medic growled then shouted, and turned on his heel, flipping the chess table surlily. Chess pieces flew everywhere, clinking against the ground.

Meanwhile, Sniper walked in the room! (Insert tv applause)

"Oi've heard'a Fat Tuesday. We call 'em Krapfen mate."

"Pffft, krapfen? Probably because they're full of 'krap', right?" You lightly joked, hitting his arm. Sniper growled.

"Yeah? An' yours are called paczki probably becas' they pack a punch when the disgustin' flavour hits your mouth, am Oi correct?" Sniper smirked as you were taken aback. Did he just insult... the holy holy holy paczki?! (Triple holy cos it's awesome)

Your face started to turn red as the two of you stared at each other. You growled, and spat a comeback.

"O-oh yeah, well I bet your 'crap'-fen is named after the fricken kracken!" You lashed. Scout laughed.

"Ooh, you just got roasted!" Sniper gave Scout a death glare, then looked back at you.

"Oi bet yah'r bloody paczki makes ya run packing!"

"Oh no he didn't!" Heavy's gravely voice shouted from elsewhere.

"Oh yes he did!" Medic exclaimed, picking up a camera.

Spy and Engineer were sensible enough to leave now, as you had thrown down the boxes you were holding, replacing them in your hands with a single, fresh, shiny, powdered and glazed, sprinkled and creamy frosting filled paczki. Sniper grabbed one too.

"They're called krapfen, mate!" He threw a paczki. It missed you by an inch.

"Paczki!" You threw one too. It hit his chest, splattering frosting and sprinkles everywhere. He growled playfully.

"Alroight, (y/n). We can do this thuh easy way, or thah hahd way.."

"Paczki!" You shouted, throwing another one. It got impaled on his nose. He wiped it off his face, and his expression was priceless. You grabbed a paczki and gripped the edge of Sniper's shirt, shoving it and smearing it all over his face so jelly splattered everywhere. By now all the mercs had fled save for Scout, Medic, Heavy and Demo. Demo was watching with blurry eyes.

"Thankfully, ah already doon't rememberr this.." he slurred.

Sniper wiped the paczki off his face, and proceeded to grab a whole box of them.

"Noooo!!" Scout shouted. The treats were about to go to waste!

Annnnnd, this is about where we left off. Brace yourselves. :'D

Sniper shoved all the paczki's up his sniper rifle's barrel, and cocked it. He aimed and shot your head five times in a row, knocking you back with the force and getting powder everywhere. Gunpowder mixed with confectioners sugar as the dust settled. A certain glowing light emitted from the powdery mist, and Sniper strained his eyes to see...
You.
Being Übercharged.
By Medic.

You held your (melee weapon) high, having it loaded with paczkis. You aimed and Sniper gulped. Sadly, you were unaware that 'jamming' pastries into your weapon would overload it, thus creating a 'jam'. (Ba-dumm-tss)

You clicked the trigger, and nothing happened. Your über wore off, and Medic walked away grumbling.

"My skill ist vasted on zhis team!" He shouted.

Suddenly, your gun started to make odd clinking noises. You could feel it churning in your hands.

"It's gunna blow!!" Scout shouted. Medic, Heavy, and Scout ran out of the room in a hurry while you inspected it. Demo was asleep, however.

You looked down the barrel. There was nothing wr-

"BOOOOMMMM!!!!"

Your weapon exploded. ...Oops.

Paczki splurted everywhere, sloshing on the people in the room, the walls, the floor, everything. When the dust settled, everything was blown back but you and Sniper. And you... You were blackened with soot? That's what it seemed like, at least.  The guns explosion had kicked the gun back, spilling powder all over you.

You coughed up a storm, as did Sniper.

"Bloody 'ell.. Croikey, mate, Oi nevah expected that'd happen. Glad it wasn't moi weapon!" He lightly cackled and you snorted.

You picked up a pile of gunpowder/powdered sugar.

"It's called paczki, you stubborn butt." You mused, pomfing him in the face with it. He wiped his hand down his deadpan face, but one look at you and he was in tears. Happy ones, mind you. He was laughing.
At you.
You brushed some powder off, suddenly self conscious.

He scooped up some powder and flung it at you, but you were way ahead of him and already had some. Chucking it hard, it hit him in the chest forcefully and knocked him back. You jumped on top of him and shoved some powder sugar down his shirt.

He growled and shot his arms into your sides, tickling you.

"Krapfen!" He said.

"N-never!!" You wheezed. The tickling got lower down your sides.

"Krapfen!" He repeated.

"N-no, p-paczki!!" His hands moved lower and you were almost frozen in his grip.

"I-I give!!" You said, just as his hands were about to be around your thighs. (Lenny face)

He laughed darkly and let go of you. Rolling over like a steam roller, you coughed up some powder and tried to catch your breath. Sniper stood, and extended a hand for you to grab. Taking it, you stood, and he immediately pulled you into his chest. His deep voice vibrated it.

"Oi told yah it wos krapfen." You could perfectly imagine the smug grin on his face right now. You elbowed him in the gut, and ran to grab a donut.

Your defiant voice rang out, "Paczki!"