FUCK THIS HEAT

Scout
•"wtfwhyisitsohot"
•Getting into petty arguments b/c of the heat
•It's not even much of an argument; you're just not talking to each other since it's so hot
•Both of you make up because it's too hot for this shit and you want ice cream
•Baskin Robins it is then!

Pyro
•You have considered migrating to the north due to all the fires your boyfriend has caused
•You may or may not have yelled at Pyro for all the extra heat
•But you'll feel guilty after you see him crying
•You buy him bubbles instead
•He'll start giggling madly and play with them for the rest of the summer

Soldier
•"Extra training maggots!!"
•But this time he actually pushes himself over the limit and faints
•You and Medic have to haul him to the med bay
•When he wakes up he tries to run to the battlefield
•Stops when you threaten to break all his limbs without respawn
•Medic supports this

Demoman
•"C'mon lass"
•He's already bought two yearly membership cards for a waterpark
•You both go at least once a week
•Demoman and you have conquered all the waterslides in the waterpark (including the kiddy pools)
•Many mothers have yelled at you both for doing cannonballs in the kiddy pools
•But the kids have dubbed you both 'The Waterpark Rangers'

Heavy
•Is dead
•Will not move
•Will not answer when you call him
•Won't even eat his sandwich
•Hates everything
•Tried to sleep in the refrigerator
•He nearly sobbed when you stopped him

Engineer
•"Hoo boy, gettin' rather warm ain' it?"
•Your glares confirm that it's not just "warm"
•He notices that you get extra snappy in the heat
•Engie will build you a powerful air conditioner which you soon grow to worship
•You're nice again
•He'll chuckle at how cute you are and will kiss your cheek

Sniper
•"Croikey! What a beautiful day!"
•You may or may not attempt to strangle the Australian when he suggests going out for a picnic
•But he drags you along anyways
•You hate him
•Turns out he's taking you out to the beach for the picnic
•You hate him less

Medic
•Is perfectly normal while you're dying
•You ask how he does it
•"Oh? I haff modified mein body. I barely break a sveat out zhere"
•Wtf
•You ask him to do the surgery on you
•Congradulations! Now you're immune to the heat!

Spy
•Spy is unusually quiet
•He silently gestures you to get into the car
•"Where are we going"
•"My penguin farm"
•"Wait what"
•Spy has a penguin farm/summer house he goes to escape the heat
•You cannot believe this guy
•He'll tell you to google Benedict Cumberbatch saying "penguins"
•It was worth it

CBS
•"Haha! What's wrong sheila? Can' stand the heat?"
•You punch whatever body part of his you can reach
•Stops teasing you afterwards
•He'll take you out a lot, anywhere that has decent air conditioning
•Also will get you lots of ice cream
•Thinks you're adorable when you're so hot and angry