The drum solo that kicked off Van Halen's 'Hot for Teacher,' came over the tinny speakers and Armitage Shanks found his feet involuntarily tapping upon the metallic floor.

He lit a cigarette and broke out the air drums, a musical instrument of which he was an absolute master, and pounded them harder than the hooker he'd picked up at the last fuel stop. It seemed so long ago, but then again when one was flying solo on a cargo vessel several years into deep space, a monotonous run broken only by the infrequent privately owned space stations and refuelling rigs, everything seemed so long ago and very, very far away.

"Oi!" he shouted out, annoyed that the vessel's computer system had taken it upon itself to stop the track just before it was halfway through. That annoyance dissipated quickly though, when Armitage realised the reason for the abrupt halt to one of his favourite pieces of classical music, was a sounding alarm.

"Ah," he said, quietly, pausing only to puff heavily upon the cigarette. "Bugger."

...

Floating right in the middle of his flight path was a ship. He'd never seen anything like it before. It certainly wasn't impressive, nor even very big. It was black, spiky, and rather phallic, a bit like pleasure toy he remembered enjoying with a gal he met some years ago.

"What was her name?"

The ship held its position, but was clearly adrift. He scanned it. No life forms. Armitage reached forward and grabbed the weapons control joystick.

"Nice knowing ya, dildo."

He flipped open the trigger switch, locked on the target, and raised up his thumb. Then the sensors blipped.

"Huh?" He double checked the scanner. "Hmm."

There was someone or something on that ship. He wasn't sure why he missed it on the first scan, but it was there now. One life form.

"Shit."

He snubbed out his cig and activated the loading arm. He'd have to slow his rig down to a crawl to grab the spiky little bastard. He'd burn even more fuel if he changed course. For a moment he considered blowing up the ship anyway, but being a gambling man, decided to bring it in and check it out. Maybe there'd be a reward?

Armitage's hauler was called the Ajax. She was pretty old and needed an engine overhaul, but she got the job done. She was a two kilometer long cargo ship, moving 9 million metric tons of asteroid platinum. He'd make a pretty penny on delivery.

The freight train like spaceship slowed down and a narrow mechanical arm reached out in front of it. The arm's claw opened and wrapped around the much smaller derelict spacecraft blocking the way. The arm guided the craft into an empty hangar unit on the starboard side. The unit closed around the ship and the arm returned to flight position. The Ajax powered its thrusters, returning to cruising speed. A moment later 'Hot for Teacher' restarted with the drum solo.

Armitage flipped on the auto-pilot, grabbed a blaster from under his seat, and headed toward the hangar. He passed through a couple of doorways and stopped to grab a welding torch, incase he had to cut through the thing. Before he opened the door he consulted the computer.

Hangar pressurized.
No known contaminants.
1 lifeform detected.
Species unknown.

He popped open the door. The second he walked in the room he could smell the plasma burns. This ship had been in one hell of a firefight. On closer inspection most of the outside of its hull was scorched from weapons fire. The back of the ship had one thrustor that looked damaged beyond repair. There was a small completely dark window at the front and no apparent door. He'd have to cut his way in.

An hour later he broke enough of the outer hull away to open a panel on the side. The hatch fell open and a stench hit his bulbous nose that took him back. It smelled like saltwater and dead fish. He held his breath and stuck his head inside. It was a small one person fighter craft of some sort. He shined his torch in and there sitting in the only chair in front of the small window was the pilot. It was wearing a kind of black metal armor and had huge pointed ears and a snout that stuck out from its helmet.

"Looks like a bloody werewolf in spacesuit."

Armitage thought for a moment, then smacked the back of the creatures helmet. No reaction. He hit it again, harder. Nothing still. He set down his torch, climbed in, and pulled the big fellow out of his chair. Then dragged him out of the ship and into the hangar.

The creature was huge. Three meters tall, easily. Its head was the size of a lion's. Armitage checked his blaster, then reached down and unlatched the giant wolf head helmet. It popped off and was completely empty. He looked into the hollow neck hole. Down inside the chest cavity of the spacesuit was a head of curly blond hair.

"Well, fuck me."

He reached a hand in and tapped the little head. It moved and he heard a distinctly female groaning sound. He undid the side latches and opened it. Inside was sleeping beauty, a soft skinned blond angel wearing a silky black chiffon dress. She squirmed and moved a bit. She was human and he guessed she was maybe 20 years old. She was perfect, damn near his dream girl, right down to her dark purple fingernails. He rubbed his gray and stubbly beard and had to admit, she was making him horning.

"Hey, darling, you ok?"

The girl opened her eyes and looked up at him. Then she sat up. Her eyes were as light blue as a crystal clear tropical sea. She stared deeply into Armitage's face. He was stunned. Her hair seemed to float around her head, as did the sheer garment she was wearing. She stood up and stepped out of the space suit.

"What's your name? Can you speak?"

When she did, the sound cut right to the center of Armitage's soul. Her voice was heavenly. He felt like he had just dropped a quaalude, or was it love?

All she said was her name, "I'm Faye."

Faye. Armitage mouthed the name again to himself and watched her.

She looked around the hangar, took in the state of her ship, then looked back to Armitage. "Is this your ship?"

"You bet it is, darling. Want to check out the bridge?"

Faye walked past him and she smelled amazing. He waved her to the hall that led to the bridge and followed with his eyes glued to her perfect bottom. He couldn't believe he had almost destroyed her ship with her in it!

When they got to the bridge Faye stepped in and looked around. She seemed to pause momentarily at each of the ship's major control areas. Her eyes eventually landed on Armitage's guitar hanging above the front window of the cockpit.

"Are you alone on this ship?" Faye asked timidly.

"Not anymore, lassie." Smiled Armitage.

"Is that your instrument?"

"It is, do you play?"

Faye reached up and grabbed the guitar off the wall. She dug through the pile of trash on the floor and found the cord and plugged in the classic cherry Gibson SG, an artifact of a long lost rock-n-roll past.

"Play the song you were listening to before."

Armitage was taken aback by this request, but figured why the hell not. He hit the controls and 'Hot for Teacher' started up again. Faye reached up to her perfect mouth and flicked her middle fingernail on her front tooth. Then on queue she started playing with such ferociousness she put the original composer to shame.

In a long ago paved over and forgotten graveyard on the outskirts of what used to be the City of Angels, Edward Van Halen spun in his grave.

Faye not only played every note perfect, but did it with a rockin' improvisational flare that made the song sound even better. Armitage sat back in his chair and watched with his jaw hanging open.

When she got to the solo she spun around, her perfect body revealed through her flowing dress. Armitage was simply dumbfounded. Never in his wildest dreams. He pinched himself to make sure he was awake. He lit a smoke and sat there watching a rock-n-roll goddess give the performance of a lifetime just for him.

When the song ended, he clapped. It was simply beyond words.

Faye put the burning ax down, walked over to him, and climbed into his lap. She put her arms around him and brought their faces together. Armitage looked into her eyes. Her pupils seemed to have a sideways figure 8 shape, a kind of radiating infinity loop. He felt utterly hypnotized. His arms fell limp at his sides, a shit eating grin plastered across his face. He'd never fallen in love at first sight before. He couldn't possibly explain the feelings welling up inside him.

Faye undid his shirt and unbuckled his pants. Armitage looked down and noticed that her fingers were long and purple looking. They looked like tentacles. So did her legs. His whole body was being groped and prodded by thick purple tentacles. He felt like he was in some fucked up Japanimation porn video. His clothes came off completely, he was in a state of total rapture.

The French call an orgasm a little death. The last words Armitage heard were whispered into his ear by the beak of a being with a head like a cuttlefish. She was changing colors and flashing in intoxicating waves of hypnosis. She leaned in close holding him in her slithering arms.

"La petite mort."

Armitage left the universe in the fashion he had always bragged he wanted to go. He died with a smile on his face.

The moment after, Faye changed shape again and took the form of a giant Mega Therion she-wolf. She bit into Armitage's body and ate most of him in one sitting. Then she changed back into a small female human. She looked pregnant as her belly stuck out from being stuffed full of so much Armitage. She put on his pants, boots, and jacket. Then sat down in the pilot seat, picking flesh out of her teeth.

She scanned the sector, changed course, and headed toward the last fuel station on the deep space boundary of the shipping lane. She activated the communications system and sent a coded message into the vast depths of space, aimed at a comet that would pass well outside of the sector in about six months time. The message would take two weeks to be returned.

She reached down to the floor and picked up Armitage's right arm. She slid off the skull ring on his middle finger and put it on hers. A second later she was Armitage. She took his form perfectly, right down to his scruffy beard and his greasy hair. He would get her through the fuel station and she could trade his whole cargo for enough fuel to make it out to the comet, her home.

She flipped through the music collection and chose another piece from classical antiquity. The work's band, album title, and first track all had the same name. She played Black Sabbath's first album. The sound of rain, thunder, and eerie church bells rang through the empty ship. When the dark flattened fifth guitar chords, once known as the Devil's tritone and outlawed by churches of old, came crashing in with heavy distortion Armitage (Faye) smiled. She leaned back into the old leather pilot seat chewing on a raw forearm, enjoying the poignant lyrics.

What is this that stands before me?
Figure in black which points at me
Turn around quick, and start to run
Find out I'm the chosen one
Oh nooo!