Windy Miller grinned widely, dipping his head as he cupped his hands around the joint that he might light it. He inhaled sharply and deeply upon the three-sheet and held his breath, keeping the smoke in his lungs for as long as he possibly could, up until the point that his eyes started to water, in fact, before slowly emptying his lungs as he looked up in wonder, just as he did every single time, at the sails of his windmill as the spiralled steadily.

"Whoa..." he said, quietly. The wind was not particularly strong but it did not need to be. What wind there was served to turn the sails and by design, grind his grain. "That's some good shit..."

Some time later, Windy Miller was still staring up at the sails, a half-smoked spliff between his fingers, when PC McGarry #452 arrived in a cloud of dust and noise.

"Sweet car, Constable," said Windy Miller as PC McGarry #452 clambered out of his La Ferrari, Camberwick Green Constabulary's latest environment-saving venture. In fact all residents of Camberwick Green, even Mrs Dingle and her puppy, Packet, had been gifted hypercars. Packet, of course, had barked madly and excitedly upon seeing the Porsche 919 so obviously Mrs Dingle had selected that. "You wanna' hit on this bad boy?"

PC McGarry #452 accepted the spliff and inhaled deeply.

"Thanks, Windy," he said, screwing his face as he made what proved to be futile attempts at not coughing his lungs up.

"Man, that's some good shit," he said, once his lungs permitted him to do so. "Good crop this year?"

"My eighty inch curved screen didn't pay for itself, Constable," Windy Miller replied with a smirk. "It's great for watching reruns of old TV shows though... That's all I'm saying."

The two men paused for the briefest of moments, and during that pause both glanced around as one might do when searching for a hidden recording device of some kind.

"Right you are," replied PC McGarry #452 with a knowing wink. "Anyway I'd best be off... Mr Honeyman reckons someone's been stealing tampons again!"

And with that, the Police Constable disappeared in a cloud of dust not too dissimilar to the one in which he arrived as the La Ferrari sang a beautiful, if a little noisy, melody, to anyone who cared to hear it.

***

Several days later, Windy Miller stopped in at the Post Office to pick up a packet of cigarette papers. He also had a bit of a thing for Mrs Dingle, the Postmistress, and Packet was always pleased to see him.

"There's trouble outside," said Mrs Dingle, after she and Windy Miller had flirted for the appropriate amount of time.

And trouble there was, indeed, for no sooner had Windy Miller glanced outside did the Trumpton Fire Brigade arrive. Windy had no idea what they were doing in Camberwick Green but he was always pleased to see them.

"Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub." Captain Flack's all-too familiar roll-call sounded out across the green where Windy Miller saw, as did all of those gathered to witness the arrival of the Trumpton Fire Brigade, a large vehicle unlike any he had ever seen with a garish paint job, go-faster stripes, tyres so enormous they must have cost a fortune and disgustingly distasteful exhaust of the big-bore variety.

As the driver of that vehicle sat there, revving the engine unnecessarily, thick plumes of acrid black smoke billowed from the exhaust.

"Use the hose this time, boys!" Captain Flack yelled, much to the Trumpton Fire Brigade's delight; they never got to use the hose!

***

The driver and vehicle suitably soaked, Captain Flack stood before the people of Camberwick Green and beamed proudly, nodding to each of his crew in turn.

"Only hybrids in Camberwick Green, in Trumpton and in Chigley!" he yelled. "Only hybrids in Camberwick Green, in Trumpton and in Chigley!"

And as the other residents attempted to yell it too, the Captain realised it probably wasn't the easiest battle cry to recite.

He hit the deck, however, as two shots were fired from within the crowd and it took Captain Flack several seconds to realise the shots were not intended for him or his crew and as he got to his feet, dusting himself down he turned around to see the formerly-soaked driver of the obnoxious machine dead on the ground, with two bullet holes straight through his forehead.

"Who did that?!" PC McGarry #452 asked, his voice loud and almost angry.

"We did, Constable," said Mary and Paddy Murphy, Mickey Murphy the Baker's twins, as they stepped forwards in unison. "He was gonna' kill Captain Flack, so we killed him instead!"

There was a raucous cheer from the crowd and the children were raised high to sit upon various shoulders whilst the battle cry of, "Only hybrids in Camberwick Green, in Trumpton and in Chigley! Only hybrids in Camberwick Green, in Trumpton and in Chigley!" could be heard all across Trumptonshire.