I

"What the hell are you doing?" yelled the movie director, gripping a bull horn in his hand. He walked on the set of the science fiction movie, visibly frustrated. He pointed at one of the movie extras.

"Hey, you over there!" yelled the director. "Stop tying your boots and get ready. When I say action, that means the camera is rolling. Come on now, let's get it together. Time is money, people! Time is money! Ok, let's do this one again. Everybody back into your places!"

The director returned to his chair. The film crew shuffled back into their previous positions, preparing for the scene.

Melmak finished tying his boots and let out a sigh of relief. Ever since he arrived on the set of Plan 10 from Outer Space earlier that morning, he'd been a nervous wreck. Nobody realized that he was, in fact, an alien from outer space. They merely believed he was an extra on the set of an upcoming science fiction film.

Melmak was sent from his home in the Andromeda galaxy. Next week, Andromeda would launch an attack on earth known as the Udara Plan. First, they would pummel the helpless planet with deadly gamma rays. Then, they would launch a ground attack and enslave all the human beings. Melmak arrived a week early, having been ordered to scout for new targets that were worthy of destruction. He was given special instructions by King Suwa Jem, the great ruler of Andromeda. This fact was unknown to the earthlings, who were oblivious to the impending attack.

The "human beings," as they were called, were too busy filming their little motion pictures. They didn't notice, for example, when Melmak's one-man space capsule landed into the back lot of Warner Brothers Studios in Burbank, California. It was 2:00 a.m. on a Thursday night when he emerged from the wreckage, slightly dazed. He had forgotten to refuel his Atmospheric Orbiter in the Starburst Sector and he was forced to make a crash landing, far away from his intended destination of Washington, D.C. He stared down at the tattered space capsule and shook his head in disgust.

Melmak looked around and wondered where he could hide. Then, he saw a shining WB sign situated above a hanger. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief. It looked almost identical to the sacred emblem of the Andromeda Militia-also known as the Warfare Brothers. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, thinking that the Andromedan government had left a clue for him. He scuttled inside of the hanger, made himself comfortable, and eventually fell asleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he was shocked to see aliens identical to the ones he left at home: the round heads, the slits for eyes, the small mouths. They walked among the humans and interacted with them, as if they had been close, celestial friends for years.

As far as Melmak knew, he was the only one that had been sent on the scouting mission.

"What are they doing here?" he said to himself.

The questions raced through his mind. Had the Council of Authorities lied to him? How long had the other Andromedans been here? And why did the League of Information not tell anyone about this? He believed it was a conspiracy, and he shuddered to think about the implications. When he returned to Andromeda, he contemplated selling his story to one of the salacious tabloids in the Lothar colony.

"I'll show them," he said to himself. "And I'll make a fortune in Remlak coins!"

II

Melmak scanned the scene of the movie set. One of the humans, the same movie director from before, emerged to the center of the room and spoke.

"Ok," he said. "Here we go again, people. Get into place. Ok, now in this scene, the alien leader gives you the orders for the takeover of earth. This is the opening scene of the movie, so we need to nail this one. Ok, here we go. Quiet on the set! Quiet on the set! Lights! Camera! And...action!"

With those words, an actor emerged to the front of the group. He had big hands, just like a citizen of Andromeda. His fingers were oversized and his nails were black. He wore a dark green polyester robe with gold trim. Inside of the robe was a purple inset, held together by a black belt buckle.

"My dear Ekron!" said Melmak to himself. He made the ritualistic sign of the cross, from shoulder to shoulder and head to crotch. "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Magical Stones of Tara, I can't believe what I'm seeing!"

The actor turned to Melmak, and the group of movie extras next to him, and spoke.

"My fellow aliens," he said, clearing his throat. "What we have prepared you for is of utmost importance. We have been training you for years on this project. And now the time has come. Your job is to go to this planet-this place called earth. There, you will take over and control these humans, this simple and backwards race of bipeds!"

"Damn!" said Melmak, under his breath. "What is he doing? Why is he exposing our secrets? He's going to destroy the mission!"

The actors standing next to Melmak all spoke in unison: "Yes sir, we will obey! Yes sir! We will obey!"

The actor continued.

"You see," he said, "we are more intelligent than they are. They do not have an understanding of our technology, of our science. And we shall use this advantage to overtake them and drive them into submission. We will assault them without mercy."

Melmak bit his lip, trying not to say anything. If the alien continued to speak, he would surely destroy the efforts of the Udara Plan! At this very moment, the Andromedans were still preparing the Plasma Cannons at the Main Base. But they still needed more time to set up the Anti-Gravity Plates. And the Multi-Missile System was not yet ready to deploy. The gamma rays would not be sufficiently heated for another week.

"Yes," the actor continued. "Our plans will soon become a reality. We will prepare our missiles to strike them without mercy. Then we will take control of all the simple human leaders-the presidents and senators. We will control them all! They don't have the power to stop us!"

With that statement, he let out a sadistic laugh. All the movie extras chimed in, giggling robotically.

"We will destroy them," they repeated in unison. "We will destroy them."

That was all that Melmak could take. He jumped out into the middle of the movie set, rushing straight up to the actor.

"You're a traitor!" he said. "In the name of the great King Suwa Jem, I order you to stop this at once!"

Melmak proceeded to strike him in the face.

The alien mask flew off the actor's head. It fell to the floor and landed with a thud. The actor lay on his back, reeling from the blow he had received.

"What the hell?" yelled the actor. "What are you doing, man? You knocked my mask off!"

"Cut! Cut!" yelled the director. "What is going on here, people?"

He got up out of the director's chair and made his way to the commotion. The cameramen peered out from behind their lenses, trying to get a better look at what was happening.

Melmak was filled with confusion. The head of the alien leader was gone, and he now had the head of a human being. The questions were racing through Melmak's mind. How did this human being plant himself inside of an Andromedan? What kind of evil body snatcher was he? What secret technologies did he have? It was too mind-boggling to imagine, and he shuddered at the implications of it all.

He stood over the actor, clenching his fists in rage.

"What have you done?" yelled Melmak. "Whose body did you steal to become one of us? What innocent Andromedans have you murdered? You're a killer-that's what you are!"

He kicked the man repeatedly, filled with disgust at the monster he was witnessing. The confused actor shuffled backwards, trying to defend himself. The crowd that stood on the stage was aghast at what they were witnessing. Some of them spoke up.

"Hey, that guy just got hit!" said one of them.

"Yeah, what did he do that for?" asked another. "Somebody call security! Someone needs to help that guy!"

A circle of people were pointing at the melee. Security guards had now gathered at the doorway of the studio hanger. The best boy pointed in the direction of the scuffle, trying to explain what was happening to one of the grips.

Melmak continued, "In the name of everything sacred to the Omni Colony, I order you to tell your secrets, you fiend!"

The security guards had now arrived and they grabbed Melmak by the arm. To their surprise, Melmak pulled out an Eridian Pistol from his space suit. He pointed it to the security guards, who back peddled quickly with their hands in the air.

"He's got a gun!" yelled one of the security guards. "He's got a gun!"

Some of the human beings fell to the floor. Others ran off and ducked behind the movie cameras. Still others threw their hands in the air in a gesture of frightened surrender.

"Don't make a move!" yelled Melmak. "If any of you make a move, I'll blow you straight into the next quasar!"

Everyone stared at Melmak as he back peddled away. When he came to the door of the studio set, he pushed his way out. He fired a laser from his Eridian Pistol, which blew a hole in the top of the studio wall. Human beings screamed in terror as Melmak made his way out of the building.

Melmak ran around to the side of the building where he had parked his space capsule. To his distress, he noticed the capsule was on the top of a flatbed truck. The side of the truck read "Hollywood Towing."

Melmak ran behind the vehicle as it slowly pulled away.

"Stop right there!" yelled Melmak. "In the name of the great King Suwa Jem, I order you to remove my capsule from your primitive earth vehicle!"

The driver of the tow truck peered his head out the window,

"Shove off!" he yelled, extending his middle finger. "Tell your King Jim, or whatever his name is, that he was illegally parked. Read the signs, buddy! No parking after 5 p.m."

The tow truck made its way out the front gate of Warner Brothers Studios. Melmak aimed his Eridian Pistol at the truck and pulled the lever, but nothing happened.

"Curses!" exclaimed Melmak. "My gun is out of Lunar Powder! Come back with my capsule, you fiend! Stop this at once!"

But Melmak couldn't stop him. The tow truck turned onto Riverside Drive, pulling the space capsule away.

Melmak ran down the streets of Burbank in pursuit of the vehicle. The passing cars honked, pointing to the strange scene that they were witnessing.

III

When Melmak failed to return from his mission, the leaders of Andromeda were concerned.

"Where could he be? Where is Agent Melmak?" asked the Minister of War. "This is a tremendous blow to our plans!"

King Suwa Jem rubbed his chin in contemplation.

"Yes," said the King. "This is highly distressing. We will have to postpone our plans. Call the Main Base and tell them to shut off the Plasma Cannons. Tell them to cool down the Multi-Missile System. I am afraid we cannot go through with our invasion until we find Agent Melmak!"

And so the aliens of Andromeda went to bed that night, frustrated that they couldn't complete their invasion. And on planet earth, that helpless rock in the solar system, the human beings continued on with their activities, unaware of the dangers they had avoided.