Don't Fall for a Pirate

by JeffreyVonHauger

The ship's design was juvenile and deranged, a twenty-deck freighter with ridiculous oversized engines, covered in gun turrets, and graffitied like a rock-n-roll nightmare. The bodies of a squadron's worth of Authority soldiers were lashed sporadically across the hull. The frozen definitely not living shields were the only sign they might make it out of this.

"Is there anyone else alive?" yelled Zorpia into the intercom for the third time.

"They hit us strategically. Our weapons are gone, engines destroyed," said Matilda.

"They're after the cargo."

Zorpia hardly got out the words before they lost total control of the computer system. Every monitor on the flight deck flickered with an image of a fang-toothed one-eyed skull and crossbones. A balloon bubble above the creepy image said "Arrrrrr, me maties!" The power went down, dim emergency lighting kicked in, and the internal speaker system crackled to life.

"Cargo freighter, this is the Captain of the Death Barge. We've come to liberate you from your possessions. Prepare to be boarded."

The grinding sound of the larger ship crushing into the hull of Zorpia's single-deck blockade runner sent shivering goosebumps up her arms. The ship shook and breach alarms sounded.

"See if you can get rid of this virus," said Zorpia jumping out of her chair.

Matilda's synthetic eyes whirled in her head as her fingers danced about the controls. Sounds from the cargo hold let them know someone had entered the ship. Zorpia pressed a tiny earpiece she used to communicate.

"Little Tiger, you still with us?"

She heard a purring yes in her ear before screams erupted in the cargo hold. Wild blaster fire followed more screams, an explosion, and a command to trap it in the airlock. The shouting and weapons fire faded and Zorpia paused at the exit. Her hand hesitated over the door control as the cargo hold on the other side fell into silence.

"Maybe they're all dead?" she said as she drew a golden dagger from her side.

"And maybe they aren't." Behind her, Matilda stood up and aimed her blaster. "Step away from the door, Captain."

Zorpia backed off as the door opened from the other side. Matilda fired into the darkness of the hold. She walked to the doorway and kept firing. Her synthetic eyes easily targeted the men on the other side. A grenade came sliding through the door and Matilda threw herself on it. Zorpia ducked behind the navigation station, covered her ears, and shut her eyes. The explosion shook the room but didn't puncture the hull.

Emergency vents sucked away the smoke to reveal Matilda's shattered body on the floor. Her arms and legs were scattered around and her head was hanging off her torso. Oily-looking synthetic blood was everywhere. Her face twitched.

"I'm sorry to have let you down, Captain." Were the cyborg's final words.

"Tradition dictates that two Captains can negotiate a final surrender," said a confident voice from the doorway.

Zorpia looked up to see a male Zorr with no shirt on holding a wicked black-bladed sword. His muscled azure skin glistened with sweat and his blue neatly cropped dreadlocks stuck out in all directions. A long thick curly blue beard hung from his youthful face. Their bright eyes locked and she had to admit she found him attractive in a cliché kind of way.

"You're prettier than I imagined," he said with a rugged grin.

Zorpia had dark brown skin inherited from her human mother, but her blue streaked black hair, vibrant blue eyes, and crystalline blue fingernails gave away the fact that her father was the same species as this man. It's a lonely life for a Captain during wartime and Zorpia had been on continuous covert missions for the last three years. The thought drifted through her mind for a second before she assessed the situation.

"Why are you attacking us!? We're a Consortium blockade buster. We're on the same side."

"Didn't you hear? The war is over. Grandor took control of the system and the blockade of Zorr is over."

"What?" said Zorpia dumbfounded.

"I'm afraid so. It all wrapped up two days ago. Your father signed over the occupation papers in an official ceremony not ten hours ago."

"My fath—" she said before she caught herself.

"So you are Captain Zorpia Zorr, daughter of the Viceroy. You've made quite the name for yourself during the war. We were on the same side, until yesterday. Now only one of us is still a freedom fighter."

He stepped into the room.

"You're not after the cargo at all," she said narrowing her eyes.

"Pirates do more than just hijacking, you know. We also kidnap."

The thin golden blade of Zorpia's short sword sparkled with green electricity and she held it in a defensive posture.

"The only Captain in the fleet to brandish a Varan blade," he said with a swing of his black saber. "But can you use it?"

The venomous sword sang as he swung it through the air. Zorpia turned her dagger, deflected his blow, and swiped at his arm. He looked down at his shoulder and saw a trickle of dark blue blood. He stepped back taking her much more seriously.

"Well, now, it's been a while since I've had a proper sword fight?"

He swung five more times and each time she deflected him. She went on the attack and he danced out of the room with her in pursuit. The cargo hold was full of blood and bodies. The airlock door was closed and the Little Tiger was smashing its metal head against the outer side trying to get back in. A half dozen grizzly-looking pirates mostly Zorrs and one big green Gastraddar in old battle armor, stopped looting crates to watch and taunt them.

"Ah, she's a real fighter, ain't she?"

"Beautiful and deadly!"

"You'd better be careful, Captain!"

They exchanged four more perries and hopped around each other, clearly enjoying the duel as much as the pirate spectators.

"Where did you learn to fence so well?" he asked between exchanges.

They connected blades three more times in blinding quick succession and stepped apart.

"My Varan Uncle," said Zorpia.

"You don't look like a lizard person?" responded the pirate.

"Adopted. Obviously," she said as she swung low, just missing his knee, and jumping up to meet him face to face.

She locked her dagger's hilt into his blade and pushed a tiny button on its side. The green electricity of the dagger jumped to his sword and shocked him. The pirate Captain let out a loud grunt, his sword flew out of his hand, and he fell to the deck.

The heckling rowdy pirates gasped in wide-eyed disbelief and stood there with their mouths hanging open.

Zorpia caught the black sword out of the air, stepped over the fallen pirate, and held his own sword to his neck. She twirled her golden dagger in victory.

"And he taught me to win."

"Clearly," admitted the pirate shaking off the stun and rubbing his head.

"Do you still want to negotiate a surrender, Captain to Captain?" she said pulling the blade slightly away from his throat. He grinned up at her with the smile of a newfound well-respected friend.

One of the pirates shot the golden dagger out of her hand with a laser blast and another shot her with a stun gun. Zorpia collapsed and looked blurrily at her destroyed prized possession smoldering on the floor. She started to fade out of consciousness. The last thing she remembered hearing was the pirate Captain yelling at his men.

"You idiots! She's probably the best fencer I've ever seen! Never get involved in a duel between Captains! ...Don't but sir me! ....Now, we have to figure out how to deal with—"

She woke up in a large comfortable bed that smelled like dude, albeit in a rather pleasant musky way. She looked around the spacious cabin and there sitting on a chair, properly dressed this time was the pirate Captain watching over her.

She looked under the blanket and she was still dressed, her boots and jacket placed neatly on the floor beside her. She sat up.

"I'm glad you're not the rapey kind of pirate."

"No, I'm not. And I'm sorry about my men stunning you. Your robot tiger is deactivated and safely stored on my ship along with your cargo."

Zorpia was entering uncharted waters with these pirates. She told herself to tread carefully.

"I've heard of you too, you know?" she said. "The infamous Bluebeard, scourge of the sector, million credit price on his head, wanted dead or alive. More of a Robinhood than a pirate is what many of our people say. I know how you saved the colony on the third moon. The locals actually sing songs about you."

Bluebeard's cheeks flushed a navy blue and he smiled big.

"Well, some of that might be true," he said standing up and offering her his hand. "My friends call me Bobby."