"You really don't need to do this, seok-ah," Hoseok ignored him to place both his feet on the bed, "these are nothing-ah! nothing your old man can't handle"

"but I can't just stand and watch your legs shake in the courtroom now, can I appa?" He chided, taking the heated oil from the server, "what is more important than your health, huh?"

"so many things seokie, so many," the king sing sang, wincing when the heated oil came in contact with his skin. Hoseok waited until the heat settled in and began massaging from his ankle, slowly moving upwards.

"jungkookie messaged me back," he paused and looked at the king, Jung Hyun looked like how any father would waiting for his son to return. Hoseok didn't need to read minds to know what he wanted to hear. "He said everything looked good at Kaatru, just a couple of rogue problems that no king can't handle"

"What rogue problems?"

"you know them, they just can't simply sit around and wait for their leader to wake up" He rolled his eyes.

"hoseok-ah," his father drawled it out, he sounded more tired than usual, "don't play around such matters. Now tell me what exactly did he write back?"

Hoseok sighed, looked at his father or father-like figure, and took a seat beside his bed-post. "Appa, you let him go. You set him free" He let that sink in, in the room, in the king's head. "He won't come back soon, that's what he wrote"

The king didn't speak for long. It wasn't very unusual of him, lately he has only been this way, quiet, withdrawn, scared, sick.

"He had to go," the king mumbled, sounding begrudged like a little kid unwilling to part with his favorite doll. Hoseok almost smiled at the thought. "he had to go, it was time"

"you clearly didn't want him to," he chuckled, going back to massaging the king's legs. "you don't sound happy now either, so why did you let him go, appa?"

"I grew up in here, i know how you treated him and how you treated me," he continued, hands still full. "he was only allowed to step out for war-"

"I have lost record of the number of  times you snuck him out"

"but you didn't stop us, appa, did you? You hated doing what you had to do to him, you said you had no choice," he met the king's eyes, the lines under them pleaded sympathy. "then why did you let him go this time?"

"it's fated for the prot-"

"appa," he softly interjected, "we both know there's still time for that"

Junghyun exhaled, defeated.

"It isn't just the dream, is it?"

"If I had kept him here any longer, he would've hated me. Seok-ah believe me I can live with anything but that after-after-" The king swallowed a mouthful of air. He sounded scared, as scared he did when he told his mother about Jungkook a decade ago. "I still remember when he was 10 and I opened the scroll and my, his-our entire world fell apart"

"I wanted to be a good father, I wanted to take him on ships," he smiled into distance, "I wanted to take him to fairs, I wanted to see him win prizes, I wanted to do everything too"

Hoseok almost forgot how sticky the oil in his hands were.

"but it is all written in water now," Jung hyun looked down at his fingers, and played around with one of the rings. "He has grown up, is trained, has mastered control, I made him do all that instead," he looked up, falsely resolved, "so ...I let him go"

Hoseok didn't push any further, he infact didn't intend to take it this far. But he regretted it now, he regretted opening his mouth at all. So he zipped it back shut, atleast for the next few minutes and continued his oil massage.

The king spoke first this time. "I was about 9 when I saw my first vision," he smiled, far and distant, "it was beautiful, I thought it was a dream until it kept coming back every night"

"You still keep seeing the war?"

The king smiled to that, "there is a certain type of pain that comes with power, seok-ah, afterall isn't that all it is made of"

"Should I tell the royal healer to get you some more sleep elixirs? Maybe some herbs and tea before sleep, appa?"

"The only thing I want now is some wine and anything else that can better heal guilt," one of the last servers left in the room fled out the door, most likely to get a bottle.

Hoseok sighed. He kept the oil aside and took a napkin from the bedside table, arranged for him, "appa, I know you're guilty about Jungkook and I-"

"I can only foresee the future, seok-ah, however hard I try to change it, it is bound by fate to end the way it must," his tone darkened, and hoseok sensed the room shift in it's aura, "I let Jungkook go because I know what is to happen, I know..."

"Appa, what will happen to him? Appa?"

"A prophecy is always a prophecy," the king continued, and it was hard to tell if he was deliberately ignoring him or hadn't heard him at all."If I die, tell him, tell them both, I could've done nothing different in any universe to protect them from that"

"Both?" who else?

"Yes, both"

____________

Taehyung shivered, "should've never let him in, this is all because of him, it is all like this be-"

Taehyung shivered again. His attire hadn't fully dried off from the last drizzle and the winds weren't exactly merciful either. If he had planned his destination before stepping out of his chambers, maybe he could've done things better. However, Taehyung was fleeing the place and even if it was by impulse, then so be it, he won't be looking back now.

The night wasn't pitch black. In fact, it wasn't even night anymore, it looked like it could already be dawn. Taehyung had to hurry before he was spotted. But where?

Where? Where is a place he can hide that he hasn't shown jung hyuk yet? Where? Hyuk knows the lake, he knows the farthest end of the town, he knows the downtown alley, he knows the basement library, he knows the backyard pond-

Taehyung trusted him with all of them!? Is there not a single place for him anymore to flee for convenience? Not even one?

He sighed, and took to the ground. Any other day Taehyung would've cared about the wet soil but not today. Today was the day of colors, and he has already skipped last night's speech.

Taehyung took a deep breath in, a few birds cooed and cawed from the other end of the town. The land wasn't as wet as he thought, it was cool. Without a thought Taehyung flopped his back against the soil bed, the sky was still pale grey from here and his limbs still ached.

He could feel himself warmer than usual, the heat still pooling near his abdomen. Taehyung sighed, there was no point in denying. He knew what this is, if someone were to walk by this corn field, they would too. He was in his heat, taehyung's first heat.

(Mother, I am already 16, why haven't I gotten my heat?

You will, some wolves receive the signal late)

Finally his wolf heard him, so it can hear taehyung.

(Mother, am I ever going to get my heat?

Of course you will, this is common among omegas)

Mother did many mistakes, she tells him all the time, but taehyung thinks the only mistake she did was teach him the art of reading. She still often forgets, books can't lie.

(Mother, am I even an omega?

Taehyung, don't think stupid thoughts, you're a king now)

Taehyung has finally gotten his heat. Mother, are you relieved? He tried linking her. A few moments later he could hear her voice, a little more feeble than the last time they talked.

"you got your heat?" a pause, "I told you it will happen someday," Taehyung wasn't sure if she sounded relieved or concerned. "you must be very careful now, taehyung-ah, you shouldn't leave your chamber for a few days, you must eat healthy and timely, keep away from alpha-"

"mother" the sky turned a little more brighter, a little less grey. "I know, i remember"

Taehyung could almost hear her smile, and shake her head to herself, "sometimes I forget you've grown up, taehyung-ah"

Taehyung hummed in response, some bird from farther away agreed too. He wanted to ask her about her health, about her day, about the book he saw her reading, but not now. He shouldn't be here, it was already dawn, anyone can walk in on him like this.

Taehyung promised his mother to meet her once he recovers and ran into the nearest woods. If Jung hyuk knows where to find him, then Taehyung isn't going to put efforts into hiding. Woods it is then.

The lake was eerily similar to the one where hyuk and him first met and he had thought, Rogues can look handsome. Most of them, most of the time, were ugly and unhygienic.

After all this time, Taehyung thinks the black cloak wasn't convincing on his frame, both of them knew that. Even now, as Taehyung recalls it, he had more questions than punches for the stranger.  But they kept dancing around, fist against fist, kick for a kick and Taehyung lost his purpose. That easy.

He slipped into the lake with his pants on, the cold still sending shivers up his limbs. Neck deep in, his scent subsided and soon vanished into the stream. Probably why Taehyung thinks he bathed too fast. He had scrubbed twice, washed his hair, washed his clothes, started a fire, dried his hair and taehyung still thinks, he was too fast.

He has been sitting under this tree, watching this little cascade fall into the lake for about an hour now. But nothing changes, there is only a little more light, a little before the rooster's call.

He dusted his pants. Jung Hyuk must've surely left his chambers by now, right? 

When taehyung reached the palace, the corridors were as busy as a beehive. The sandalwood he had rubbed on his attire had almost worn off, his scent already strong to his nose. Taehyung had chosen the longer route towards the backdoor, leading him right into his chambers. But still hesitated at the sight of guards he had himself positioned.

They were chatting between themselves, occasionally a third one slipping in with a snack. He waited until they were two, and walked as fast as he could. Any other day he would've reprimanded their carelessness but not today.

Inside the corridors, Jung hyuk's scent was still strong. He hasn't left yet? It was already an hour past sunrise. Taehyung's own scent was quite all over the place this morning, but it has turned much lighter now. He peeked in, the other didn't seem to be around. He must have probably returned to his quarters. Taehyung heaved a breath he didn't knew was holding in.

He quickly slipped in, shut the door, closed the curtains and flopped into his bed. Taehyung closed his eyes and exhaled, a slumber would be nice now. His limbs are still aching and he is as tired as he woke up. Maybe he can nap just for a little before the festive chores. Just a short while maybe a couple minut-

"Tae?" Two bangs against the door, "taehyung-ah!"

It is just min hyung.

Wait. Oh shit, no- it is min hyung

Taehyung shot up from his bed, what should he do what should he d-the heat suppressants! Yes those, he has them. Mother had gifted them. Where are they? His bedside table? He superficially rummaged it's contents. No no not that, it must be his cupboard-where inside his cupboard—

Another two bangs at his door rang like doomsday alarm and he urgently scanned the furniture. He sure has them right? Mother had given them, of course he would have kept it safe then how could he ev-

"Yah," the door creaked open, "taehyun-"
Min hyung paused.

Taehyung froze, hand mid way up to the top most cabinet in his cupboard. His body recognised the alpha presence and turned warmer, despite having his back to the other. He quickly shifted on his feet to face Min hyung. He looked much stiffer than usual.

"Taehyung-ah," Min hyung took a step closer and he instinctively took one backwards. Min hyung paused, looked down, "yah- don't be like that"

Taehyung's hand found purchase of the heat suppressants, he had kept them in the ornated box mother had gifted them with. He grabbed it, as casually as he can and cleared his throat, "so umm....how are the preparations going?"

Taehyung turned around, avoided Min hyung's eyes while he blabbered. He walked towards the jug of water kept on his bedside table, and stupidly kept talking. "Are the guards finding anything different at the border? What is the rogue status now? Have you found anything at all unusual? Heard they have gone up north, did you receive any informa-"

"they don't work, taehyung"

Taehyung paused and looked at min hyung, "what?"

"Heat suppressants don't work during heat, taehyungie"

He looked down at his palm, the suppressant pill looked disgustingly yellow. He shrugged at min hyung, filling up a cup of water. "It wouldn't hurt to try, right?"

"It would," Min hyung walked towards him, taehyung pretended not to know why his palm tightened around the glass. He snatched the pill out of his hands and threw it somewhere in the room, taehyung heard it fall and crack. "my sister's words? those are a pain in the butthole. I thought all omegas knew that"

Taehyung flopped into his bed, and before he could think twice his mouth ran, "all omegas who have gotten thier heats atleast once"

He regretted it the moment it left his lips. He regretted it all the more when disbelief painted Min's face pink, "What!? Taehyung you haven't? I mean you-is this your first hea-"

"yes," Taehyung stared the ceiling as he spoke. There it is, all out in the open like the crack on his ceiling, Taehyung is in his heat, his first ever heat.

"This is your first ever heat? You never told me you never got-how-i mean how can you not get your heat for this- i mean isn't 25 like old or something?"

It was time he called the painter again to repaint the palace walls, the ceiling was breaking at over 3 places already. "It is old, yes" Maybe after uvagai, there is already a lot going on. "mother said it happens sometimes, i don't know"

Min hyung sighed. Taehyung was afraid to look at him and find sympathy, so he didn't. He stared at the ceiling a little longer, it blurred in and out of his vision.

"don't use heat suppressants ever again," He sounded half concerned and half angry, "they only make it twice painful the next time, yoona literally cries when that happens and you know she doesn't cry fast"

"But I can't walk around reeking of heat, can I?"

"use your scent blockers, dum-dum, just keep it with you wherever you go," Min hyung walked over and sat on the couch. "I have been around hyuk so much, i literally smell him everywhere, even here! That smelly rat!"

Taehyung had to physically hold back from cringing. He cleared his throat, "so why are you here so early? I hope it's not my scent"

"Ew, i have eyes for Ryejin," Min hyung made a face, and taehyung smiled, "and yes my lady has summoned you for an earful about last night. In fact I wanted to give you a piece of me too, but you kind of look sick, so I'll just let you rest for the da-"

"No, am alright, am coming to the courtroom now," he sat up.

"And? get pounced upon?" Min hyung waved a hand before him, he waved his hands around a lot when he talked. "No thanks, stay in here, I'll call someone to help you out"

Taehyung knitted his brows, "why's that? you think am powerless just cause of some heat?" He snickered, the same old lump rising up his throat, "all you alphas are the same"

"Taehyung," Min hyung's face shifted, "you know I didn't mean it like that"

"How else do you mean it, min?" Taehyung didn't know why he felt so hot, so angry. Min hyung shouldn't be feeling sympathy for him just because he is in his heat. Is this what his wolf had been saving him from, all these days?

"I meant it like you need rest, taehyung," Min hyung's frame stiffened, "I dont know about heats but i have seen yoona, you know that, why would you even-i-i don't pity you taehy-"

"You expect me to believe that, Min?" Taehyung wasn't even angry, he just feels so hot from inside, suddenly so small, reduced to his primal desires. There is this sharp pain in his abdomen that keeps pooling and pooling and pooling.

"Tae-i just didn't want you to stretch yourself thin," Min hyung waved a hand towards him, "you don't look alright, and I was-I was just trying to be a helpful friend"

"Helpful by bossing me around?" He sounded so hostile, he hated it. Min hyung looks so sad, he should stop. But this heat keeps pooling and it hurts, the pain is spreading it keeps spreading and then he will fall to his knees and beg min hyung to f- "I am the king. I know what am doing" he gripped the sheets, "I don't need an alpha to tell me what is right just because you think am not thinking straight"

Taehyung isn't thinking straight. Taehyung is only thinking there's no way to stop this pain.

"I didn't come here to tell you what you should be doing, tae" Min hyung stood up, turned on his heel, "am sorry if i sounded like that, call me if you need any help, you know where I would be" Min hyung walked away, even his steps sounded defeated.

Taehyung gripped the sheets tighter, he felt too hot, too weathered. Mother's ornated box with the heat suppressants still glimmered under spare light in his room. The heat in his abdomen turned into a sharp pain, and he doubled over before his pants soaked wet in the middle.

_______________

"No Rae, I swear I didn't intend to hide it," he ran a palm through his hair.

"But you didn't bother to even share it with me, you know everything about me and I'm still left in the dark when it's all about you," Ryejin spoke so much in one breath, taehyung could swear he hasn't blinked yet. "I have literally stood outside your chamber everyday, taehyung, waiting for you to accept me, why is it still so hard for you?"

Taehyung sighed, he should've rather taken Min's suggestion to stay in and rest. "I'm sorry, Rae, I'm so sorry, I was so used to not having my heats, at some point it just-it just started feeling normal, I-I didn't think it would mean such a big deal to you. 'm sorry"

"you're lucky Minnie asked me to go easy on you," taehyung felt like he could rather get pricked by a hundred needles, "else I would've made your ears bleed" She waved a hand, signalling the decorations to be pushed a little to the side, and continued, "Does mother know?"

"She was the first to know," Even as he said it out loud, taehyung felt like he could believe that.

"Hmm," she redirected the flower arrangements and busily sketched a decorative pattern in her scroll. "How's this? Good?"

"hm, good enough," he nodded, peaking over her shoulder, "make the first and last layers red"

"Ew, why red?"

Taehyung smiled cheekily, "because you hate it"

She glared at him, taehyung signaled her a thumbs up and turned around, smile still stuck to his face.

He hadn't walked much farther, he didn't need to, Taehyung realised he recognised Jung Hyuk even in the most crowded of corridors. He could have easily been passed off as a blurred outline, a random passerby, but taehyung thinks no, he cannot.

There is this particular wave to his hair, this place where it doesn't fall flat. He is pale, stands out from the other tanned alphas. And has these huge huge eyes, taehyung thinks it is ironical he isn't easy to read off.

Usually when they meet in corridors running opposite directions-courtroom and training hall, patrols and lunch breaks, dinner and border security shift- they share a smile, gesture trivial things and taehyung would feel like anywhere between 18 to ageless.

But today, no- after yesterday, Taehyung doesn't know. He wants to ask Have you eaten? but it comes off as whatever Jung Hyuk reads from his face that makes him look down, hesitate, turn back around and walk away.

Taehyung was busy for most of the morning, there was a mid festive court, a border security patrol, then he had to check in on the palace decorations, now after all that, he is on his way to the gathering ground. The one beside the lake, as always. Once sun overhead falls, the village crowd would replace the color makers there. He didn't need to be there at the temple yet to know.

Color making brings back the best memories to Taehyung. The time when he was 10? 12? and he had gone with mother to supervise the color making process in the same ground. One of the betas? Or omega was it? smiled and offered him to join them, Taehyung was over the moon.

He helped pluck flowers, extract the dye from them, then grind rice grains into their finest powder and mixed the dyes into them. Taehyung was even allowed to skip his sword practice that day! He smiled, guiding the horse towards the temple.

The backyard of the temple which held the day of lights ceremony also hosted the day of colors. Taehyung loved watching his people leave the ground with a smile and a hundred colors smeared to their faces, and attire.

You see, Bercahaya loved colors, she would turn canvases upside down from white to a garden, from white to her beloved mate perched on a stool. So now people smear color all over themselves, turn into bercahaya's painting for an evening and pay tribute to her sacrifice.

When Taehyung reached the ground, it was already bustling with a few uncontrollable kids, a handful of adults and teens, colonies of guards chatting within themselves and among them the two people he had been trying to avoid since the break of dawn.

Taehyung exhaled, the day was already long enough and it is only a little past noon. He took the little bottle of scent blocker in his pocket and squeezed some in his palm, before applying it over his scent glands behind his ears.

Taehyung violently avoided Min hyung, there was so much of guilt to unpack. He went in the opposite direction of Jung hyuk, and pretended it was the easiest choice. There was a line of shops this side of the ground, people hung in packs.

First in line was a cotton candy shop, and Taehyung was already thinking of Jung hyuk two days ago trying to stuff in one at one go.

He should probably stop thinking at all.

Taehyung moved on to the next shop, a bunch of kids fought between themselves to go first for their colorful tattoo. He shook his head, they would regret this when the dye washes off tomorrow morning.

The shops slowly turned to jewellery, textile, food and then liquor. By the time he had finished his stroll, him and Jung hyuk had locked eyes and turned away thrice. He was reapplying his scent blockers when Ryejin jogged over and asked him to begin the ceremony.

They walked over together to the centre of the ground, where the ceremony beginning speeches were given. He still remembers mother's voice booming across the lake, water lilies trembling under her.

Taehyung cleared his throat, "A warm welcome to my people," he sounded weak, if mother were here she would've snickered. "Apologies for not being able to join you all last night, but today, in the name of bercahaya, her love of colors let today's ceremony begin" He threw a handful of red on Ryejin, as he completed his speech, marking the beginning of the celebration. She retaliated with a glare and handful of blue.

Sun fell behind the hills and the ground soaked in all colours of nature. Taehyung realised he had almost forgot why he fancied day of colors the most. Once everyone is head to toe a mixture of colors, there is no identity. No king, no subjects, they were all just one single painting.

He made sure to dress in white, like everyone else did today. The day of colors truly ends for one whose white drape is invisible.

Taehyung's attire had already turned a number of shades, and he could almost taste the mirth in the air. He played with some kids and deliberately lost, then a few guards decided to ambush him with blue, green, yellow and red. Then somewhere between, him and Min hyung crossed paths, and he apologized (?) with a splash of red. Min hyung, shook his head, laughed and slapped a patch of green to his cheeks. He yelled over the crowd, they were okay and taehyung nodded, eyes burning.

He had almost lost count of hours, how long had he gone without his scent blockers? Taehyung jogged to a less crowded corner and caught his breath. Usually this doesn't tire him out, he wouldn't feel his legs this unsteady from a few laps round the ground. But today he did and leant against a nearby tree for support. Taehyung squeezed some scent blocker into his palm.

Before him was half the kingdom he ruled. All joyous, happy, healthy. He shut his eyes, mother would always say this is his forever. King Taehyung, the ruler of Kaatru.

But it isn't half of forever yet, and Taehyung would soon be parting with it. He had sealed a deal with hyuk, there was only two more days for uvagai to end. Once that is settled and the state of affairs are back to normal, he had to go. Taehyung wouldn't be king, hell he probably would be a fully developed monster. There are tales he has read, abnormality grew to monstrosity.

Taehyung shivered, blinked his eyes open. The crowd was back again, lively, joyous. He was still the king. There was still time.

He saw Ryejin and Min hyung giggling at each other in the crowd and a bunch of kids practicing ambush color attacks, one of them even ambushed him from behind the tree. He retaliated with red, always red. His palms were almost as red as the color they held. Ryejin hated when he did that, only choosing red when it was all colors of nature being celebrated.

Taehyung shifted his gaze, the lake beside the ground dazzled like it always does. A small crescent moon adorned the night and when Taehyung turned back to the crowd, he spotted jung hyuk, laughing, cheeks smeared red, blue and green. But wherever his skin wasn't covered in color, he was pale. In the absence of light, he was light.

Taehyung sucked in a breath.

Jung hyuk caught him staring and his smile fell. Taehyung already missed the curve of his mouth when he did. This time, jung hyuk didn't turn back around, he stood right in the middle of the crowd and stared. Taehyung had the time, the choice, the sliver of opportunity to slip into the nearest bush and pretend he was never here.

But jung hyuk looked at him.

Someone smeared color across his cheek, red. But he hardly blinked, his gaze remained stuck to him and shifted color. Black to red to black to red.

Taehyung shivered, he felt much much warmer. He closed his eyes, tried remembering last night. I failed, tae. His eyes shot open and jung hyuk had moved through the crowd towards him. He gulped, the same stare, same colors black red black red.

His body grew warmer, it must have detected their closing proximity. He backed against the tree, it's cool almost burnt his skin. He heard, felt, every step Hyuk took closer.

Left, thud. Right, thud. Left, thud. Right thud.

His gut rose up to his throat, the night stilled. "Tae-"

Taehyung turned around and walked. He knows, taehyung knows what happened last night. He put Hyuk in a position he had never wanted to, he can still close his eyes and remember the guilt written on his face.

He turned back around, and jung hyuk was right after him, as always. He violently turned away, hugged himself and walked faster. Jung Hyuk deserves an apology, he does, but Taehyung is afraid he will pull him into a kiss instead.

"Taehyung! Tae!"

He walked faster, much faster. Was he running? The air was cold but it burnt his skin. The night had turned darker, he knew he was at an advantage here as he knew the place and took a sharp turn. This was the last place, he realised, he has left hyuk in the dark about. The piper's cave.

It wasn't necessarily a cave, it was rather a rock cut in half, adjoining the lake. Since it was rather deep inside the temple courtyard, people kept away from it for good. Some even believed it was cursed by the gods several centuries ago. Taehyung leant against one of the rocks and caught his breath. He could hear his own heart pulse at his ears. His knees were almost ready to give in when he heard a twig nearby snap. He reached for his sword, and moved towards the sound.

Faint scent of after rain filled the air, and he dropped his guard. He knew jung hyuk followed him, he just didn't think the other would come this far. It is quite rocky up until here, taehyung is as used to it as any wild dweller, but not Hyuk. It was still pretty dark and he couldn't see the other despite being able to smell him.

Even if it drove him off the edge, taehyung didn't want to dwell over how warm his skin felt. He peeked down the path he came and first saw the other's eyes. Even in the dark, they shone like a lone star set on fire. 

"A hand?" jung hyuk sheepishly smiled. Taehyung knew, even as he held his hand out and it burnt like fireworks when they slapped together, that the other never needed a hand. If he didn't know it before then he knew it when hyuk didn't pull his hand climbing up, just gently ran his thumb over his knuckles.

It felt so good, taehyung withdrew his hand and cleared his throat. "What do you want?" He hoped he sounded like he didn't care someone had climbed up the rockiest path for him.

"Taehyung," jung hyuk really needed to stop calling his name like that. "Speak to me, please. I'm sorry. I didn't know, I swear I didn't know until it was all over. I swear on the moon I wouldn't have done that if I had known you were in your heat my wolf just took over so quick- and I-I didn't have my guards up and I lost control and-and I-I didn't want to do anything to you after tha-mmph"

Taehyung kissed him.

Slow and aggressive, as painful as it burnt when they connected their lips. He took the lead, he had so much to tell. Don't apologise. Don't call it a mistake. Don't say my name like that. Don't swear on the moon so easily. Don't move your tongue. Don't kiss me back. Don't-

The kiss ended just as soon as it started, and when they parted, they both each took mouthfuls of air. The wind howled around them, hitting the rocks, hitting their faces. Hyuk coughed, and Taehyung backed away, suddenly aware of what he did.

Even in his coughing fit the other reached to hold his wrist, and shook his head. Taehyung wanted his feet to carry him far north, towards some dense woods and disappear, but they stayed rooted where they were, just as hyuk held him. Always firm, always demanding.

Taehyung looked at him because he couldn't make himself to not. Windswept hair, chapped lips, moonlit. The pink of his cheeks stood out, yelled at him, this is because of you. He smiled to himself, that is because of him.

Jung Hyuk looked like he wanted to say so much. They both did, but the wind did all the talking between them. All mundane matters, unlike theirs.

"Talk to me, please," That is how jung hyuk breaks the silence and taehyung knows he will always be heard.

He thinks of reasons, why should he not talk? Because he is afraid if he does he will tell Hyuk how gorgeous he looks under the quarter moon, how much taehyung is scared he might just fall for him like this, how desperately he wants to erase last night off both their memories, how much he keeps aching to kiss him.

"Taehyung," he drawled his name out, very patiently, sounding as if he had stuck some flowers to it, watered it, and was waiting for it to grow. "Please forgive me"

He wanted to shake him by his shoulders, yell at his face, why are you sorry? But Taehyung remembers, and it hadn't hurt as much before, that jung hyuk is the protector and he has a fated mate, his bercahaya. The idea of chosen mate was so normal in his head he almost forgot Jung Hyuk didn't have the choice. So yesterday must be a mistake to him. He regrets it. Taehyung should too.

But he remembers last night, he thinks he always will. Jung Hyuk's red eyes juxtaposing the softness of his touch. The place where his neck meets his shoulder, the place taehyung kissed and bit. His hand lingering by Taehyung's waistband, tickling the skin there. "Can I?"

Taehyung doesn't regret it. Or maybe he does, a little part of it, the part that he spent begging the other to fuck him. It was only normal, he wants to reason. But he saw Hyuk rocking himself on the couch, eyes drawn shut and ears painfully plugged in with two long fingers. Taehyung should've tried harder.

"Tae," Hyuk holds his forearms, shakes him a little, "let me in"

"Am sorry," he wanted to specify, for being needy, for being selfish, for falling for a taken man. "... sorry"

"What are you ev-why are you sorry? Taehyung, talk to me," he looked so afraid, god, taehyung thinks he should not he should not he has a mate. "Are you even listening?"

He shrugged the other's hands off his forearm, took a step back. He shook his head, "Hyuk no," he took another step back, and kept his eyes to the ground. "You have a mate. Don't"

He looked up, levelled their gazes, the younger looked hurt and confused.

Taehyung wanted to reason, he had a lot of reasons, because I'm not your mate, because I am not the one you should look this concerned for, because I won't stand a chance against your bercahaya, because I don't regret last night, because—

"Let's stop this," he said instead, "this won't end well for you. You have a mate" he nodded to himself stepping back further.

Taehyung looked down at his palms, stained with red dye. He wanted to run a coloured palm down jung hyuk's cheeks too, colour him red like Taehyung's freedom.

"You didn't color me," Hyuk must've noticed him looking at his palm, and took a step forward.

"Can I?" He reached to cup his cheeks before the other replied. Taehyung didn't want to hear a no from him.

Hyuk closed his eyes, taehyung smiled. The mole underneath his lips teased him, he shook his head and slid his palms down, letting the last of colour in his palms turn the alpha red. When hyuk opened his eyes, they were red. Taehyung sucked a breath in.

"You are my mate, Taehyung," Taehyung blinked.

Two palms on his cheeks, not too cold not too warm. Bright red eyes. Low register, "you are my mate"

Taehyung blinked, he was hearing things. He was hearing things because he wanted to hear them. There is no way he can be the bercahaya. Taehyung, get out of your imagination, you cannot be the bercahaya.

Bercahaya was pure, so pure her love turned to a month long celebration. She was as pure as the white drape he wore to the ceremony today. Taehyung? Taehyung was a monster. You're a monster. He was an anomaly, he was so abnormal his mother had to seek for healers from the north for his condition. You know you can't be the bercahaya. You can't be someone so pure. Taehyung can't be the bercahaya.

He laughed, swatted hyuk's hands away, threw his head back and laughed. His cheeks stained with tears, but taehyung laughed. "you-you," he snickered, mocked himself,  stabbed a finger to his own chest as he spoke, "m-me? I'm-I'm the bercahay—Jung Hyuk, are you even hearing yourself!?"

He couldn't see the other's moon sculpted face, everything was a blur. His tears blocked his vision, and he squinted. "I couldn't believe it either, but Taehyung, look at how fast things escalated," he moved closer to him, "remember our first meeting? I have never fought like that with anyone else. You were special since the beginning" His voice was so gentle, taehyung almost nodded, smiled and accepted.

"It hasn't been more than a month, but look," he smiled, came closer, a hand on his left cheek, a watery smile. "You are my mate, Taehyung" he kissed his temple, taehyung almost melted.

"No," it came out of his mouth before he heard it in his head. Jung hyuk's smiled fell, a frown replaced. He drew his brows together, a ready why not on his lips.

He couldn't bring himself to push the other away, it was better to let his skin burn under his touch. "I can't be the bercahaya" It keeps spinning like a ritualistic chant in his head, he keeps hearing it like it is being hammered to the sides of his head.

You can't be the bercahaya You can't be the bercahaya You can't be the bercahaya You can't be—

"But you are," He faintly remembers from some old memory, Jung hyuk spoke this way to stubborn little kids. "You are my bercahaya"

"I can't be," he breathed, the wind swallowed it "I'm a monster. I can't be the bercahaya. A monster cannot be the bercahay—"

"Taehyung"

"I cannot protect you, hyuk. You have to protect yourself from me. You have to protect yourself and others. I can't be the bercahaya. How can I be the ber—"

"No—"

"Mother knows. Ask her. She knows. She knows I'm a monster. Ask her. She won't accept me as the bercahaya. No one will accept me as the bercahay—"

"I do—"

He held hyuk by his shoulders, he wasn't listening, and shook him with every last ounce of strength in him. "Do you not understand!?" Jung Hyuk didn't look like he did. "I'm not—I can never be your bercahaya! A MONSTER CANNOT PROTECT!" The water lilies shivered in the lake, the rocks shook a little in their place. Taehyung let him go, realised his grip must've been painful.

Jung Hyuk didn't speak for long. Taehyung didn't look at his face for as long.

"When I was nine, my aunt told me the the protector's lore. I wanted to know more, so I went to the library and I read a lot of books about it," the wind whistled in the gaps he left unspoken. "One of the books said the first Bercahaya had a temper like no other. She would bring storms in anger and winds from sadness. The King was so terrified of her powers, he put her in the outskirts of the empire, in a lonely mansion"

"She then painted all her anger in red, until one of the village shepherd's son met her and fell in love with her," Taehyung looked up and saw Hyuk smile, ever so gently. "Then she painted him in red, blue and green because he held all her anger and sadness in his palms and kissed them too. Today he is the first protector and her love is still as white as our drapes. We turn them red and blue and green, because bercahaya is also her anger and sadness"

He didn't speak for a while. The wind hummed at his ears you're the bercahaya you're the bercahaya

"We both die at the end?"

Jung Hyuk shrugged, "I guess we have to fight to know"

The wind collected, revolved around them, the rocks turned colder. Taehyung looked at Jung hyuk, their gazes levelled. "Colour me"

"Why yes, I almost thought you'd never ask, your highness" Hyuk laughed and an easy snigger left his lips. They both closed the distance, Hyuk snaked an arm around his waist and smeared blue onto his cheeks with the other. He closed his eyes, kissed him, slow and sweet.

Taehyung is Jung hyuk's mate. Taehyung is Jung hyuk's mate.

They break from the kiss and reconnect, occasionally slipping in a few pecks. Taehyung giggles when it turns into a competition of who gets the honor of last peck. He lets Hyuk win, the younger throws his head back and laughs.

Taehyung cannot stop grinning, he leans over, holds the other's wrist and drags him. This time they're both running down the rocky pathway up. The crowd is still loud, louder than all the wasps in the area. He joins the crowd, brings Hyuk closer, they're both facing each other. He gets some color from a nearby plate full of them, red, and smears it across the younger's face, freedom. Hyuk gets some blue, smears it across his right cheek.

They both laugh at each other. Taehyung is warm, as he holds Hyuk. The other holds him back just as tight. They are both grinning foolishly wide. Taehyung thinks, if there is no tomorrow, then this is alright too. They can end like this.

Jung Hyuk and Taehyung.

The protector and his protector.

The Tenth Alpha and his Bercahaya.

_____________

Yikes that ending sucked again. I really need to work on my chapter endings.

A/n: sorry it took this long. my long list of assignments and semester exams bit my ass. after the enlistment i faced such a huge writing block i couldn't move my thumb across the blank page GOD. I swear I'm not trying to reason me in fact i fucking hate me everytime i take this long but my perfectionist self can't hv it any other way 😭😭 am sorry I'll try my best to change

also do share your thoughts on this chapter, love hearing from each one of yall. hope the read is worth it tho

thank u so much for the reads. every decimal that increases means SO FUCKING MUCH to me cuz am literally absolutely nothing without y'all readers. TYSM REALLY PLEASE EXPECT SOMETHING NEW  IN 2023

ps: enjoy happy lil tae tae in the header
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