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Wild

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Chapter 40: Wild (Rowan's POV)

"No. We were arguing, weren't we? Let's argue some more," she shrugged, turning to face me and folding her arms across her chest. 

I scoffed softly, "Let's. What would you like to argue about today? Or shall we just argue more about how irresponsible you were last night?" I stepped forward. 

"You are overreacting!" she groaned loudly. "I got home just fine, didn't I?" 

"I found you sleeping in the hallway, Evie. In what world is that fine? In what world is it okay for you to be out alone in some random taxi, drunk to the point where you couldn't hold yourself upright?" 

"If you were just worried, then you have an awful way of showing it," she bit back, narrowing her eyes at me. She brushed past me and strutted towards the glass wall, staring out at the city view. 

I sighed, glaring at her before making my way over and spinning her around to face me. "I was not worried about you—" 

"You said you were." 

"A bit but only because you are my wife, we have people watching us every day that we walk into that office, if someone saw you last night—" 

"Stop beating around the bush, Rowan!" 

"If something happened to you, I—" I cut myself off, catching myself just short of the edge. "It would have been very inconvenient for me," I finished, taking a breath. 

"Is that what it is? Really? Are you sure?" She stepped forward. 

"That is exactly what it is," I argued, backing her into the glass window, hearing her take in a sharp gasp as her back met the cold wall. "What else would it be?" I stared down at her. 

"I don't know, Rowan. You tell me. You weren't worried because it would be an inconvenience to you, you were worried because you cared, why can't you admit that?" 

"Because I don't want to care about you," I shook my head. "All this time, I've never wanted to care about you." 

"But you do?" 

"I did not say that." 

"You thought it," she said softly. When I didn't reply, she simply rolled her eyes. "If you really don't care about me, then just drop it. You've scolded me enough, I understand, I will never get drunk anywhere unless you are around to keep an eye on me. Is that all? Can I leave?" 

"No," I demanded. 

She sighed, dropping her hands to her sides and looking away from me, facing the bookshelves. 

"I don't think you understand what I'm trying to tell you." 

"Because I don't, Rowan. Because you're not actually telling me anything. You're going in circles with this conversation," she mumbled. "If you just hate me, if you just take any excuse you can get to lash out at me, then admit it." 

"I do hate you," I nodded. 

"Why?!" she snapped. "I've never done anything to you!" 

"You didn't have to." 

She stared at me in confusion before huffing angrily and tilting her head against the glass, closing her eyes. 

"I hate you because of what you do to me." 

She opened her eyes, staring right into mine. 

"I hate you," I paused, moving just an inch closer. "Because you drive me wild." 

"And what is that I do?" Her eyes dropped to my lips. "That drives you so wild." 

"You exist. That's enough to distract me from everything in this world." 

"Then maybe you should learn to not get distracted." Her eyes came back up to mine. "And maybe you should stop distracting me too." 

"I distract you?" 

"It takes two to play a game, Rowan." 

"This isn't a game. I truly hate you." 

"Because—" 

"Because I want you." 

Her eyes cut to mine as she pushed herself off the wall, only to lean back into it as I moved closer. 

"And I really shouldn't," I whispered, shaking my head. 

"Can it be helped?" she asked. "Tell me what I should do to make you stop wanting me." 

"Get out of my life for good, Lyubov." 

"That I can't do," she said quietly. 

"And why is that?" I asked. 

She let out a breath, blinking down at the ground. 

I tilted her chin up. "Answer me." 

"Because I don't want to. Because I want... you." 

Fuck. I was losing it. 

"You're used to earning what you want and so am I. Rowan, I want—" 

"Don't say it again, Evie." 

"I want you, Rowan. I..." She pushed herself onto her toes, taking a hold of my shirt and pulling me closer. "I really do," she whispered. 

Fuck it. 

I leaned down just before she pulled away, my lips crashing against hers in a harsh, desperate, and demanding kiss. Her fist tightened around my t-shirt as she arched into me, her lips moving with mine in a rhythm. 

I have no idea what I'm doing and frankly, I don't care. 

She pulled away too soon, before I could even deepen the kiss, and gasped sharply, staring at me, breathing heavily. "What are we doing?" she whispered. 

"Does it matter?" I asked, placing a hand on the window, bending lower to get closer to her. 

She shook her head quickly, leaning up again. "No." Her hands flew to the back of my neck as she pulled my lips down to hers promptly. 

I wanted to wait before I deepened the kiss, it would have been the right thing to do, but none of this was exactly right. My hand tightened on her waist, the other sliding down her back, her hips, her ass until my fingers grazed her thigh. 

More. I need more. 

I took her thighs, lifting her off the ground without breaking the kiss and she naturally locked her legs around my torso, the whisper of a moan escaping her as my tongue swiped across her bottom lip. Blindly, I moved back, stopping at my desk and seating her on it, pushing her thighs apart with my hands to stand between her legs, closer. 

She rested her hands on my shoulder before sliding one down my chest, my abdomen, stopping at my waist. As her hand slipped under my shirt and her skin touched mine, reality hit me in a wave. 

I pulled away from her, taking a step back and catching my breath, turning my back on her. 

That kiss, that one kiss we shared when no one was watching, just proved to me how dangerous our attraction is. I knew it and this just proved it. She was nothing but dangerous. For my future. For my life. For my mind. Even for my heart. But especially for the part of me that couldn't stop wondering what a storm, what a force to be reckoned with, exactly what we could be if we hadn't stopped. 

Thinking with everything except my head right now, I wish I hadn't just stopped, I wish we saw things through. But I knew I would only regret it. This wasn't real. None of it was. And I felt nothing for her but pure lust. Absolutely nothing. 

"Do not ever do that to me again if you have the intention of stopping," she huffed. 

"I didn't," I mumbled, turning around to face her. "But we can't do this." 

"And why is that? Because you hate me?" she scoffed. "Or because you want me?" 

"Because we're in a contracted marriage." 

"And what did we do that's so forbidden? I meant what I just told you. I do want you. I didn't say that because I was needy and wanted to kiss somebody. I wanted to kiss you." 

"Do you even know how you feel?" 

"No," she shook her head. "Do I have to? Do you?" 

"No," I answered. "But we should know what we're doing." 

"You and I, Rowan, will never know what the fuck it is that we're doing. We're too complicated. You're right. I should go." 

I moved forward, placing my palms on the table beside her thighs. 

"What?" She looked at me. 

"Don't," I demanded. 

"Why?" she laughed dryly. 

"I want you to stay." 

She held my gaze. "Do you know that for sure?" 

"I just know what I want right now. You. I want... to touch you." I trailed a finger up her arm, up the curve of her neck, the sharp angle of her jaw before lifting it to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I want to feel you," I whispered, not looking away from her. 

"Even though you think it's so wrong?" 

"Yes." 

"So what will it be?" she asked. 

"I shouldn't do this. I don't know what I'm thinking," I admitted. 

Her lips twitched up into a smile as I began leaning in. "But you'll do it anyway." 

I did. I kissed her again, slower this time. 

She pulled me in deeper, her nails ever so slightly going down my arm as she leaned back, holding herself up on her palms. 

What are we doing? How far can we let this go? 

If I went as far as I needed to in order to get what I wanted, we'd go too far at once. I pulled away again, my mind running with a thousand thoughts but didn't stop this time. Moving down, I placed a faint kiss on her jaw, then trailed kisses down her neck, drawing them out in places that made her gasp and hold my shirt a little tighter. I moved to her shoulder, placing a kiss there before straightening up, a smile forming on my lips and she sighed in frustration. 

"What?" she huffed. 

"There's a limit we shouldn't cross." 

"And what limit is that? Sex?" 

I stared down at her. 

"Fine. We won't have sex." 

"For now, yes," I nodded. 

She chuckled, then asked, "What about other things?" 

"What other things, Lyubov?" I smirked, lifting a brow. 

"Many other things," she replied coyly. 

"Is that what you want? Many other things?" 

"With you, yes."

"Now?" 

"Maybe, we'll see. It's not like you have work to do," she shrugged. 

I glanced down at the files beside her pointedly. 

"Just don't look at them." 

"Does that make them go away?" I chuckled dryly. 

"It can if you would like," she answered with a devious smile. 

"They're important." 

She nodded in understanding. "I know. Workaholic Rowan. It's okay," she laughed softly. 

I kissed her again, pulling her chin up but keeping it short. 

She opened her eyes, meeting mine. "Do we know what we're doing?" she whispered. 

I shook my head. "Do we have to know right away?" I sighed. 

She shook her head wordlessly. 

"Good," I nodded once, "because I just know that I like kissing you." 

"Do you plan to kiss me a lot then now, Mr. Volkov?" She lifted her brows at me. 

"I plan to kiss you whenever I feel like it, Mrs. Volkov. And the urge to kiss you occurs too often, it's slightly overwhelming." 

"I'm glad it's not just me then," she smiled. "Now get to work." 

I sighed in defeat and moved away, letting her hop off the table. I fell into my chair, watching her as she picked up a book from the shelf, dangling it in my face with a grin, and then skipped out, closing the door on her way out. 

I have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is that I don't want to stop. I want her and I will fucking have her.

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Chapter 40

they kissed okay, there you go!!! The slow burn has stopped burning... or has it?

next ch: flight

we're going on a trip, pack your bags