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Touch

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Chapter 33: Touch (Evie's POV)

I'm getting an awful lot of sleep today morning. Why isn't my alarm going off? What time is it? 

I peeked my eyes open and found myself facing the window. My eyes dropped to the floor where I could see the sunlight hitting the ground from the small gap under the curtains. 

Shit... am I late? 

I quickly reached for my phone and checked the time. Ten. Ten in the morning. Groaning softly, I put the phone down and threw the covers off my legs, intending to get out of bed. A gasp slipped out of me while my hands instinctively flew to grab the arms that went around me. 

What the fuck? 

Holding my breath, I blinked in realization once I remembered what happened last night. I had forgotten that Rowan actually stayed. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what I was thinking when I let him stay in my room. At first, I thought because he was still pretty tipsy, he wouldn't remember what he said or did and I would be able to wake up before him this morning and say that he slept here and so I slept in his room. 

Never mind that it would be a bold-faced lie. 

But I doubted that Rowan would wake up and be happy at the sight of me. I glanced down at where his arms stayed secured around my waist before lifting my hands off. Slowly and quietly, I rolled over, regretting it immediately as I saw how close we were. My eyes drifted up to his face and ensured that he was still asleep. 

He was breathing evenly, his eyes were shut and for once, he looked calm. He looked peaceful. He didn't look like something was worrying him, not like something was gnawing at him and stressing out every nerve of his. He seemed relaxed for the first time in a very long time. 

Mostly, when I look at Rowan, I see that little frown between his brows, that anger just sitting at the tip of his tongue while he looked for someone to snap and let it out on, the way he forced himself to seem unaffected by just about everything. 

He shuffled forward and I kept quiet and watched him as he shifted upward just a bit until his chin sat at the top of my head. My eyes traveled down his shoulders, to his bare chest. 

Was he really shirtless when he came here last night? 

Glancing lower, I was surprised to see his body. I knew very well that Rowan took care of himself, he exercised regularly, went on runs most days, and went to the gym once in a while too. But I had no idea that Rowan was so... ripped, to be honest. I had no idea how he managed to take care of himself so well considering how busy he always was, but he seemed to be doing just fine. Rowan was created like a fucking Greek God. 

I'm sure my younger self would very much agree. 

His chest was toned, shoulders were broad, always had been. You could count out his abs. 

I did. There are six. He seriously looks like a Greek God. 

They were sculpted, made to fit him with perfection, there was no other word for it. He was flawless. And my fucking husband, a semi-fake one at that. I wasn't allowed to think like this of him, I wasn't supposed to pay attention to these things. This was a job, just like any other one I've ever had. I can't get distracted again by the one man who's distracted me all my life. 

I forced my eyes up from where his sweatpants hung low on his hips, the waistband of his briefs poking through. As I looked at his face, I knew I should have moved, I should have gotten out of bed, gotten away from him, and maintained a safe distance. Being so close to him was anything but safe for me. He was going to be the death of me. 

He stirred, his arm slipping down my waist and bringing his palm resting at my hip, slowly sliding closer and closer to my ass. 

I inched forward, taking in a breath as my body pressed into his further. It felt like there wasn't enough air in this room for my lungs, Rowan was overwhelming every single one of my senses. 

When he began stirring a bit more, I closed my eyes and tried my best not to move an inch or let him know that I was awake. He was awake, I could tell. For a while, he didn't move, he didn't pull away but then I heard him sigh with a soft groan before he retreated his arm and pulled away. 

I peeked with one eye open and watched as he sat on the edge of the bed, his back to me. 

He looked over his shoulder and I quickly closed my eyes. "I know you're awake, Lyubov," he mumbled before stretching and standing up. His voice came out hoarse and deeper than it already was even after he cleared his throat and that on its own made me... feel things. Horrible things.

Not having anything to hide behind anymore, I opened both eyes and huffed, looking at him. "Well, good morning to you too." Holding myself up on my elbow, I rubbed my eyes while he blinked in confusion and took a look around. "Did you turn my alarm off?" I questioned. 

"Hmm," he said in response, sitting back down and leaning against the headboard and groaning softly, running a hand through his hair while tugging at it softly. "Your alarm was giving me a headache and it wouldn't shut up. We're late for work." He blinked in realization, throwing his head back. "Shit," he whispered, closing his eyes. "We should leave in an hour." He stood up again. 

"I'm not going," I argued, giving his glare back to him. 

"You don't get to take days off whenever you please, Evie," he replied. 

"We've missed quite a few hours." 

"One," he argued with a scoff. 

"One too many," I whined, dropping my head on the pillow. "I am exhausted from last night." I scooted over to the side that he slept on earlier and stared up at him while he continued to look around the room in confusion. Turning around and facing me, he met my gaze and I pointed an accusing finger at him. "You are not an easy drunk to take care of." 

He swatted my hand away, clicking his tongue in frustration. "Why am I in your room?" It dawned on me then that he really had no recollection of last night, he didn't remember a single thing. 

"I don't know. You must have come in after I fell asleep." I held my head in my palm, my elbow resting on the pillow. 

He stared at me, his eyes narrowing. For a fleeting moment, I felt like he knew I was lying, like he remembered what had really happened last night and just didn't want to admit it. Maybe he thought that if he acknowledged it, I would question him on it. 

He should know by now that I would never do that; I would never do anything to push him too far. 

"We're leaving for work in an hour," he sighed and moved to leave. 

"We need to go grocery shopping!" I called out after him. 

He stopped at the door. "We can go after work." 

"Rowan," I said through gritted teeth, moving up and kneeling in the middle of the bed. "Please. I need a break and so do you." 

He lifted a brow. 

"Please?" 

"No, Evie." 

Grunting, I stood up and stayed in one spot, folding my arms across my chest. "I'm not going." 

"Yes, you are," he argued, stalking over to me, stopping a safe distance away. 

"No, I'm not," I bit back, taking a tiny step forward, glowering up at him. 

"Yes," he said slowly, "you are." 

With another step forward, my body was brushing against his all over again, sending chills down the length of my spine. "Make me," I shrugged, tipping my chin up to meet his gaze. 

He stared down at me, his eyes traveling across my face, dropping to my lips, only he looked away too quickly and it made me believe it was just a mistake, a fluke perhaps. 

One I'm thinking about too fucking much. 

His gaze met mine and a jolt surged through me, my heart skipped a beat, and my breath got caught in my throat.

What the fuck is happening to me?! This is driving me insane! Why do I keep reacting to Rowan like this?! What... is he doing to me? 

"I don't like how much you challenge me now that you're my wife," he said. 

"And I don't like how much you try controlling me now that you're my husband." I grinned, "Not that you didn't do that enough earlier." 

He nodded, watching me in grave amusement. "Yet you never cave." 

"Indeed, I do not," I replied chirpily. "Grocery shopping. Please?" I lifted both brows, going up on my toes. 

He sighed, looking away from me. 

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "It won't kill you to take one day off work, you know. You haven't taken a single day off ever since you joined the company three years ago. We don't give out attendance awards either, it's no use. Come on," I complained, giving him a push, ignoring the tingles that went up my arm the moment my skin made contact with his. 

"Fine," he huffed in annoyance. "We'll go grocery shopping." 

I bit down a giggle and reached up to pinch his cheek. "Aren't you being kind this morning?" 

He grabbed my hand, quickly pulling it away. "Don't touch me, Lyubov." 

"Why not?" I lifted a brow, pulling my arm down, keeping my hands behind my back. The urge to touch him was hitting me stronger than it ever had. 

I don't know what he's doing to me. 

"I don't like the way it makes me feel when you touch me." 

My lips parted in shock and I stared at him, dumbfounded and speechless. 

Does he not know and understand the things he says? Or the effect they could have on me? 

"Get dressed. Forty-five minutes and we go," he said, giving me a once over, his eyes falling down my body and then slowly coming up as he walked backward towards the door, not blinking away from me once. His eyes took in every inch of me as they came up my legs, my hips, my torso, and chest before finally stopping, meeting my gaze again. 

"You're staring at me an awful lot," I mumbled, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. 

"That's rich coming from you," he smirked. "How do you think I really look? Good enough for a Greek God?" His lip quipped up. 

My eyes widened in disbelief. "I could swear I didn't say that out loud." 

"I could swear you did. Or maybe I can read minds now. Remind me which Greek God can do that." 

I grabbed a pillow impulsively and threw it at him full force. 

He caught it, a chuckle slipping out of him before he tossed it back to me. 

I caught it too, glaring at him. "Get out." 

He did one of the last things I expected next. He flashed me another one of those precious dimpled smiles as he pulled the door open and slipped away, looking only at me until I blinked away first. 

What is happening to me? This can't be good news. I have to be careful, I have to maintain a safe distance. 

I knew enough from experience. Rowan wouldn't love people, he wouldn't let himself, he kept every single person at an arm's length. If I let myself do this, if I let myself make this mistake... Rowan would shatter my heart and I knew I would never be able to put it back together.

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Chapter 33

I knowwww I'm not able to update a lot but the amount of school work I have is ridiculous. Like the year is fucking ending come on give us a break.

But after this week, things will be a little more chill so just hold on you guys!!

When I said this book was a slow burn, I meant it lol we're at 33 chapters and nothing has really happened lmao normally my books end at like 40-45 but this one will be much longer, don't you worry

I'm just really enjoying writing this and don't want it to end 

and I might update once more tonight but no promises

anyways

next chapter: gossip