"What? Are you fucking kidding me?" I gape at DQ.

"Does it look like I am?" She looks at me and her face is full of nothing but seriousness.

"And does it look like I'll listen to you?" I snap.

"Oh, you will. You have to—"

"Well, boo fucking hoo princess, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, not." I deadpan.

Not the good time for SUPERNATURAL references, seriously.

"I'm not hurt at all, in fact, I knew you'd deny me." She tilts her head before continuing.

"Now, now, you've lost a source of income after your father's death and you need money for this family to run, don't you?" DQ gives me a malicious smile.

"Y— you wouldn't." I warn her.

"Ritu, I would."

"But you can't. You're parents like to help me and they know my academic performance, so nothing you say will change their mind—"

"Not even few of your previous physics tests' score? Or the fact that you ditch classes a lot? My parents do think very low of me, but believe me when I say that they take my word seriously."

I swallow visibly, knowing very well how some of my physics scores had been in such a way that I had barely passed the test and also none of the parents who know me knew about my class ditching escapades.

"Shaina that's too low, even for you." I reason with her.

"And I care because?" She snorts.

"Because...because you used to be my friend, what even happened to you girl?" I ask her desperately, trying to make her see how much of a low blow this is.

Scoffing, she looks at me with rage.

"What happened to me? It was all you! I had to withstand all those comparison, discrimination, all those...all those hate. Just because you seemed to be a perfect figure but I was totally ignored!"

She starts pacing back and forth in front of me, shaking her head and muttering something inaudible.

She looks hurt, enraged, angered.

She looks crazy.

"Shaina you— you need help, this is not you, listen to me." I plead.

At hearing my voice, her head snaps towards me and she walk to stand right in front of me.

Pointing her finger at my face she continues seething, "You! You leave Nikhil. Not just a break up, leave him alone, forever! And it's convenient that you're changing your school so I don't know what you'll say but you are to cut all your ties with him. That'll be the help I need."

"No listen to me. This is not yo—"

"I don't fucking care if this is me or not. All I care about is how you'll break all your contacts with Nikhil."

"That's not possible! He's my boyfriend, my best friend and I love him whether he loves me back or not. I can't just up and leave!"

"You will, you have to! Unless you want your mother to overburden herself with so much stress to run the family? And if any other bank gets hold of a bad loan history you can forget about a loan at all, much less a low interest rate." She raises her brows in the end.

How can she do this? I mean, I knew she's financially well-off and cruel but not to this extent!

But was my love really important over my mom's stress, her health, my family and a lot more important aspects of my life?

I've known that Nikhil and I will always come to an end someday, but is holding on to the concept of 'us' worth everything else in my life?

Nikhil will understand.

Wow, for the first time, you sound deflated. Are you— are you seriously accepting this crap?.

There's no other way, DQ puts in a bad word and the loan blows and Ma has to bear everything till you finish studying which will be a very long duration of overburdening and considering her already stressed state and age...

Besides, you always knew this would come to an end.

Grasping to the flimsy thread of hope, I try again.

"Shaina, don't do this please. I get that you're hurt, but this isn't how you must get your comfort..." I speak softly and place my hand on her shoulder.

"I've already lost my Pa, please don't make me do this." I plead and just as I think that her eyes were softening, she shrugs my hand off her shoulder and puts distance between us.

"I'll give you a week's time. Choose Nikhil and I'll destroy your academics. Choose to leave Nikhil and I'll give you peace. Oh, and let this conversation out and I'll destroy your family along with your academics. I will know if you find any loopholes because Nikhil is going to be in my school and I'll still be around."

She had perfectly planned all of this...

With that she leaves—slamming the door like the drama queen she is—but I couldn't care any less.

My mind races with gazillion thoughts, none striving to be clear.

A slight migraine blossoms and I ditch every single thought in my mind and throw myself on the couch and switch on the television to watch SUPERNATURAL.

And that is how I ended up ignoring my life for the rest of that day.

***

I'm seriously out of my mind. If at all I was a computer, my brain would've been fried by now.

And considering how I'm a human, my brain is very much fleshy and not fried.

That scares and scars me you know...

See? Told ya.

It's Monday, and after faking that I'm not well with hoarse voice and super droopy face—courtesy of my laziness—and the natural extra heat of my body in the morning, I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what in the hell I was gonna do about Nikhil.

The rational—majority—part of me keeps insisting me that I cut my ties with Nikki in all ways, shape and form but the dumb side of me...

Well, let's just say it's going full on Jack Kline, thinking I could somewhat achieve everything myself.

Which is far from the truth.

I know that my mom will happily take the burden of working her ass off for me but the thing is, I think she's had enough.

Enough humiliation from my paternal grandparents that she and my dad had decided to live far away from them.

Enough suppression that she didn't get to go to a job because I was born and considering dad's job's nature, someone had to be there for me.

Enough burden that she had been my mother and my father figure and raced back and forth between home and school and music class and dance class—which I had stopped long back—and my tuition for me.

Not to leave those numerous accidents she had gone through while speeding to pick me up from somewhere, leading to her getting severe back pains now and then.

Neither a superhero nor a nephilim could manage like my mom.

And just like that after every single pain in her life, she puts up a heartbreaking smile and chases me with a spatula in her hands.

Only her. Only my Leila. Only my mom.

Suddenly the door to my bedroom opens and my mom comes striding in with some awesome-smelling food—I think it's noodle soup—in a bowl in her hands.

Gesturing me to sit up, she seats herself beside me on the bed, adjusting my pillow behind my back.

Wordlessly, she takes a spoonful of the noodle soup—hells yeah! I got it right—blows on the steaming hot liquid gently before feeding me.

She reaches the spoon out to me, her own mouth opening slightly as I open my mouth and slurp the soup.

"How're you feeling now?" She strokes my hair with a free hand and places her palm on my forehead to check my temperature while her other hand holds the bowl.

"Better, but my body still feels beaten up or something." I say with my fake-hoarse voice and give her my best fake-weak smile.

She hums in agreement as she blows on the next spoonful of soup.

"Tell me Ma, hypothetically, if we lost this loan we're getting from Shaina's family what happens then?" I ask her lowly, afraid of her reaction.

Looking confused, she feeds me soup while she replies, "I don't know, I'll probably get loan from some other bank, but if our records of losing this loan get known to this new bank, then our opportunity of getting that loan is as good as none.

"Or else, I'll just start working? Something like work-from-home so I can take care of you as well as work and earn for the both of us but I'll find a way. One way or the other..." She trails away shrugging.

"Why are you asking me this, though?"

"I just wanted to know how much of an important aspect of our life this loan is. That's why, nothing else." I quickly take in another spoon of soup to keep my mouth busy and not show any trace of lying on my face.

"Okay and Nikhil called me. Said you didn't pick up his call?" She inquires.

"Oh, I mustn't have noticed my phone ringing." I lie.

Yeah, like you could pick up his call when you're almost convinced on letting him go.

No, I'm just— just stalling because I know there must another way. There must be another way to—

Really? Denial? You know better than that—

I fucking know what I'm doing. There's another way, there must be another way. There must be another way. There must be another fucking way.

It's okay to accept defeat you know. It's okay, I'm here.

It's not about accepting some stupid defeat, it's about accepting the fact that I won't be in contact with Nikhil. And you're just a part of me okay? You're still me. You'll need someone in the first place.

It's better this way. Also think of this, maybe when you grow up and get financially stable, you could come back for Nikhil—

No, that's low-key making him feel used.

During the entire internal monologue I had fixated my eyes on my bookshelf and robotically finished off the noodle soup that my mom had been feeding.

My mom reaches out for the water bottle that was a bit away from the bed and she stretches to reach it.

Pulling back she inhales sharply while her hands automatically went to her spine but when she notices me following my actions, she diverts her action into smoothing her dress before giving me a tight-lipped smile.

Friggin' back pains!

These were times when I wished I was an archangel or something so that I can heal my mom. Or even better and powerful, a nephilim.

Like Jack Kline.

Like Jack Kline.

My mom takes the bowl and stands up a bit shakily before she walks over to the water bottle, gets it and hands it to me to drink.

And right then, when she stands patiently, waiting with a smile as I drink the water without breaking eye contact with her, only one thought invades my mind.

I love you, but I'm sorry Nikhil.

A/N: *jittery actions* Oh, I'm so excited, my characters are miserable!!

Do I sound like a masochist? Do I? Oh well, I don't care so nevermind.

Jk tho, I'm not a masochist, but I like to be cruel so...eh.

Thoughts? Vote and comment, please and thank you!