Chan dropped them off at Jisung's. He didn't want to stay around any longer with them, h could die from the weird tension between the both of them. Suffocating was the right word for this situation. 

Jisung waved at the departing car and glanced at Hyunjin awkwardly, opening and closing his mouth like a fish but eventually saying nothing.

He knew Hyunjin would try to carry his bag, hence grabbing his bag before Hyunjin could but it didn't stop the taller from snatching the bag from his hand. "You're injured. Why are you trying to do everything by yourself? Just depend on me until you recover" He made eye contact with Hyunjin although he had been trying so hard not to look at him, he started wondering again if Hyunjin's eyes had ever looked this serious and meaningful? He felt his heart aching ,scooting away from Hyunjin on impulse. 

His heart was beating loudly that it started drumming in his ears. He was both nervous and scared. It felt like he could die in any moment. How could he not feel that? For two days straight the people who he had treasured the most kept surprising him with shocking statement and question. Just the day before, his father had said something serious to him and came Hyunjin who out of blue confessed to him. It's like being shoot with a bullet and then crashed by a whole truck, the shock was unreal. 

He wished the both of them had taken is slowly because he small brain couldn't process two things at one time and now he even had to stress about two things at one time. His one brain cell which function to do dumb things stopped working, it seemed like he couldn't do anything dumb anymore— well, not for today, not when Hyunjin was there.

—Click!

Jisung unlocked the door, the smell of coziness welcomed him and sense of relief that his house didn't smell like a leftover pizza washed over him. Waving his hand at Hyunjin without looking at him, he welcomed Hyunjin to come in as if it was his first time coming here. He laughed to ease the heavy atmosphere, "you want anything to drink? My mom gave me some peach tea. If you want some, I could get it for you—", Hyunjin h aver a sigh and pushed Jisung down, he pressed him against the sofa catching Jisung by surprise and biting his words back. "I told you not to do everything by yourself"

"but yo--you're the guest here", Jisung argued in between his stuttered words. Hyunjin knitted his eyebrows at Jisung's stubbornness. "I will get it myself and please just sit here and don't even think of unpacking your thing by yourself", Hyunjin said, grabbing Jisung's bag. After he placed Jisung's bag inside his room, he went to grab the peach tea for himself and a glass of warm water for Jisung.

He came back to the living room, Jisung fiddling his fingers that slightly popped out from Hyunjin's hoodie sleeve. There was a slight hint of sadness in Jisung's eyes.

The urge to talk about him and Jisung was held back when he saw the waver in Jisung's eyes. Just what could be so confusing that made him look so lost?

He placed the glass of water and cup of tea on the coffee table. "Are you alright?" He wanted to make sure Jisung was fine before he start selfishly talking about them. Actually, he already had a hint regarding Jisung's concern. Jisung's father, unlike his mother trusted him enough to talk about his concern. So, Jisung's confusion might be related to his father's concern. 

However, he wasn't 100% sure and wanted Jisung to talk about his own problem openly to him instead of him.jumoimh to conclusion. He knew how fragile Jisung could be and he didn't want to hurt him again. 

"Do I...", Jisung looked up, his eyes a bit teary "Do I look like I'm forcing myself, Hyunjin?"  Jisung sounded weak and tired, Hyunjin's muscle went rigid. It really sounded like Jisung would break away anytime. Hyunjin stayed mum for the longest of the time and sat down next to Jisung. "I don't know, Ji", Jisung smiled bitterly, he hadn't hear that nickname from Hyunjin in a while. It gave him a sense of being home after a long day of working? "You always keep things to yourself. So, I don't know", it was Jisung's turn to be silent. "Oh", he simply said as he grabbed the glass of water Hyunjin got for him. 

—clink

Jisung changed the topic as soon as he placed the glass down. "I'm sure you're not just here to make sure I'm not unpacking by myself. You must have something to talk to me about and I think I deserve some explanations, maybe?", Jisung breathed in and out, a smile plastered on his face in effort to loosen up the mood.

"You said you like me but I just can't find the logic in that", The other hummed, "then why? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" 

Hyunjin laughed at the question thrown at him. It really made Jisung seemed cruel to him.  How could Jisung ask that question out of all possible questions be could have? "I can't just risk losing us, Ji" He was a coward who was afraid Jisung would start drifting from him had he told him the truth. 

"The moment you said you will throw me away, you already lost us", Hyunjin swallowed his saliva, Jisung's words were like the sharp edge of a sword. Jisung wasn't wrong, he lost Jisung and that was why he was doing this. He didn't realize losing Jisung was so terrifying. He thought of Jisung's situation and had he been in Jisung's position, he would have hated himself so much but here Jisung was...giving him a chance to explain himself. 

Going through the days without Jisung was awfully painful and confusing. It was like he was in an endless empty void. He didn't know why Jisung started avoiding him and he started missing Jisung more than he should have. Then he realized, Jisung could have heard his conversation with Na-Eun even if the possibility was low. His speculation was only proven today when Jisung dropped the bombshell. 

"I don't know why I said that, Ji" 

"Maybe I was so desperate to get Na-Eun", another confusing statement came from Hyunjin. Jisung's eyes narrowed and Hyunjin could read the question Jisung had on his face. If he liked Jisung, why did he still go after Na-Eun when he knew Jisung liked him? 
"I wanted to forget my feeling for you." Hyunjin laughed at his excuse, even it sounded ridiculous and laughable to him. He didn't know what it sounded like to Jisung but it could be worst. Why did he thought it was a good idea to start all of these messes? 

"And I got to know Na-Eun. Back then I didn't know she was your manager. I didn't know she was the one you like".

Why?, "When I found out about who she was, it pushed me more to get to know her? It drove me more to take her away from you"

Hyunjin nodded, "I know you don't get me. I don't either, Ji. I don't either...but remember I said I didn't want to lost us? I don't want to lost you?", He held Jisung's hand and smiled when Jisung didn't pull away from his touch. "It seemed like I wasn't ready to lost you with a girl either"

"Maybe deep inside me, it's not that I want to forget about my feeling. Maybe I just don't want her to be with you and it seemed like I mistranslated that feeling" 

"I don't dare to think of anyone other than me standing next to you"

Hyunjin breathed

Nothing

The silence was like his beating heart being ripped from his chest, afraid of the response he was waiting for. 

Should he just leave now? Should he just change the topic? Lots and lots of wonders downer him but Jisung replied, "Then...what do you want me to do?" 

"What do you want me to say?", It wasn't a mockery, the question came from Jisung's deepest thought. He was both confused and speechless. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to feel. "What should we do, Hyunjin?" The last question came out as a choke. 

Hyunjin wasn't expecting this kind of respond and his body moved on his own, grabbing ahold of Jisung and pulling him close. It broke his heart to pieces to see the tears welling up in Jisung's eyes.

Jisung himself didn't know why he was crying. Maybe he was shocked? Maybe he was mad? Had it been any other person hearing this instead of him, he was sure they would find it as insane as he did but instead of being angry, he was concerned.

Just as much as Hyunjin didn't want to lost him, he also didn't want to lost Hyunjin. "What should we do, Hyunjin?", he asked again, voice louder than before as he started crying.

-

*Stiffly laugh*

Me: I will write fluff be ready

Also me: here y'all angst ass chapter.

I can't resist alright? But I hope you enjoyed this update 🥴 -hunny