"Are you listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"As I was saying..." Debu stopped midway and glared at his friend "you aren't listening!"

Aman broke up from his reverie "yeah, that's a great idea" he managed to utter.

"What is?"

Aman blinked "what you suggested".

Debu gritted his teeth "what's gotten into you dude? I'm trying to make sense here and you're not making any attempt".

Aman didn't reply but slowly sipped his coffee, which had become warm. Debu watched him as he simply stir the liquid without any expression.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you?" Debu was irritated with the ignorant demeanour from his friend "you're wasting my time and time is money".

"I'm sorry" Aman apologised "can we discuss this some other time?" Debu looked at him in disbelief "great! Freaking great!"

Aman gulped the coffee and let out a deep sigh "fine, what do you propose we do?"

Debu watched his friend for a short moment "everything okay back home?"
He asked, uncertain.

Aman gave a short laugh "will anything ever be?"

Debu didn't find it funny "is it because of...her?"

Aman leaned back in his chair and stretched his feet "she's in pain Deb" he shrugged "she's in a lot of pain...I don't know how to help her...anything to ease her trauma. Every time she cries, I feel guilty... as if it's all because of me she's suffering. She deserves to be happy and I want to help her in every way I can. But each time I look into her eyes, I feel helpless. Like she'll never be able to smile genuinely..ever again. Why? Why is this world so cruel to her? Why?"

Debu sat back next to him "I..um...was referring to your..ex..Deepa" he sighed "I thought you're pining for her".  Aman didn't respond to that.

"Didn't you try contacting the cops?" Debu asked, avoiding the topic of his ex, "what did they say?"

"It's a closed end" Aman replied "it's pointing nowhere....I tried, believe me".

Debu nodded in understanding "I understand your problem and I feel you should support her in every way you can, but you can't ignore your problems too".

Aman felt guilty, hearing this. Of course his friend and advisor had long way in marketing for the art work and had planned to come up with their own art gallery instead of canvassing the works elsewhere.

"Now that you're an art success, why don't we have our own exhibit?" Debu had suggested excitedly, "we bring people to us, show your works and maybe sign a contract with the clients later".

Although the idea seemed to be easily said than implemented as a lot of budget had to be invested, Aman didn't have the heart to say no to his friend who only had his best interests. And thus, they had agreed to meet to discuss the preparations.

"You care about her" Debu began, when his friend didn't deny nor reject, he continued "why don't you start your life afresh, with her? By what I'm hearing, she doesn't seem to be that bad"

Aman half smiled at that. Initially when he had met Sakshi, there was only hostility between them and he knew she loathed him as he playfully taunted her at his brother's expense. But now, fate had taken a cruel turn.

"I don't know if she feels the same" he stated in a matter of fact tone "she doesn't like me...and then there's..."

"Do you like her?" Debu was quick to catch on. Aman did a double take "the hell dude! I don't...I mean...we don't see each other that way...the only reason we're together is because of her condition. Trust me, there's nothing else keeping us together".

Debu gave a snort "are you sure? Cause, you sounded like you care for her. So stop lying to yourself and own it. Just damn own it man!"

Aman knew he couldn't hide anything from his friend, not if he could help it. He wondered what it would be; a life without Sakshi and all the baggage she carried. Of course, there would be less stress but as he thought about it, he felt a void in his heart, which he couldn't explain.

"I think I like her" he admitted at last, letting go of his own turmoil "but she loves... Amit. I know she still loves him. I could feel it".

Debu patted his arm "call me insensitive but your brother's gone dude" he explained "there's nothing you can do to bring him back, nor she. He maybe her past love, but you're her future. Stick onto that rather than feeling insecure about someone who can never come back".

"You don't understand Debu" Aman shook his head, thinking about Sakshi and their fights "she hates me...there's no way she would want to be with me, of all the people. And I don't blame her" he scoffed.

"If you really want to help her, then make your relationship work" Debu said in a serious tone "spend time with her, take her out. She might soften up to you".

Aman smiled at that; his friend always had a practical solutions to problems. Maybe he was right this time too, Aman thought. He needed to work on his relationship with Sakshi.

The thought somehow, thrilled him.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

Devaki was in the kitchen, boiling water for rice when Sakshi came in "maa?"she called softly "are you free?"

Devaki turned to see her, almost looking like she was ready to go somewhere "are you going out beta?"she asked with a smile. Ever since Amrita's baby shower, things had been friendly between the duo.

"I have an appointment with my gynecologist for the scan" Sakshi explained, looking at her watch "you said you'll accompany me next time".

Devaki had almost forgotten about the conversation "I was planning to...but Aman's father wants me to accompany him..we'll be leaving shortly".

Sakshi was partly relieved to hear this; she wasn't keen on going with her, even though things had been going fine. The awkwardness persisted.

"It's okay maa" Sakshi smiled "I'll go myself..besides, it's not that far". Devaki didn't like the idea "it's that big scan, isn't it? I don't want you going there alone. Call Aman"

"He's probably at work" Sakshi said, despite feeling exhilarated at the mention of his name. The night she poured out her fears to him, she had felt lighter, as if a part of her burden had been lifted. And she was grateful for his presence.

"I'll call him, don't worry" said Devaki, taking her phone from the table "as if he's doing some big project..he's probably painting".

Sakshi laughed harder "don't let him hear that, he'll be furious". Devaki joined in her laughter "that's the best part about him, he pretends to be furious and then somehow gives in. Atleast with me".

Sakshi waited as Devaki spoke to him and after a while, she was back "he's coming to pick you up...be ready".

That was quick, thought Sakshi as she walked back to her room to get ready once again, later realising she already had. What was happening to her?

She sat in front of the mirror, staring at the reflection, wondering why she felt the need to apply makeup, just for him.
He wouldn't even care, she thought, feeling stupid.

She had seen the girl he liked, Deepa who was extremely pretty. Was he still in love with her? The thought somehow saddened her.

Oh my God! Sakshi gasped. She wasn't falling for him, wasn't she? No! This can't happen, I can't see my heart getting broken again, twice. I've already grieved once, I can't grieve once again.

Her phone beeped, breaking her from the unstoppable thoughts. It was from him; Come to the parking lot, it read.

Pocketing her phone, she walked out after informing her mother in law. The inner conflict could wait...

◇◇◇◇◇

The clinic was extremely busy as it was the weekend and there were lot of patients. Sakshi took a deep breath, absently rubbing her belly.

Next to her in the waiting lounge, Aman was browsing on the phone, probably disinterested.

"When's your turn?"he asked, after considerable amount of time had passed. The queue was only increasing.

"After two patients is my turn, the nurse said" she replied, feeling guilty "I'm sorry you had to wait. You must have had lots of work". As she said it, she remembered Devaki's words back home and suppressed a giggle. He observed that "what's so funny?" She straightened herself "nothing".

"So you simply giggle without any reason?"he teased "come on, tell me what it is. I'm bored anyway".

"Yeah, I know I'm boring" she stated, feeling slightly offended.

"Hey! I didn't mean it that way" he added hastily, noticing her reaction "I meant this place is boring, not you".

She smiled at that "fine...I'll tell you but you shouldn't be mad at your mother".

"You know I won't" he said, suddenly curious but amused at the same time. She hesitated first and then told him what his mother had said, all the while laughing when she said that.

He didn't smile "so you guys make fun at my expense, isn't it?" She stopped and stared at him "it was a joke, believe me. We were just..."

"That's what. I'm a joke now, aren't I?"he sneered.  She patted his hand, feeling alarmed "Aman! I swear we weren't making fun of you. I'm so sorry you feel that way...I..."

She realized he was grinning and pushed his hand away "I hate you!"she seethed.

"I don't" he said, on an impulse and she looked at him in confusion. He cleared his throat "um..you know we're planning to open art gallery" he said, subtly changing the topic.

She brightened at that "really? That's great. I'm happy for you". He nodded "of course there are lot of things to do..but it's a start I guess".

"I'm sure you'll go a long way" she said, meaning it "I've seen your paintings. They're awesome".

He simply smiled at that. Silence prevailed between them for a short moment and she spoke up "so..you're still not talking to your father?"

The question caught him off guard "if I do, it's not a talk, it'll only end in fights and I'm tired fighting anyway".

"He's your father Aman. Don't you think he deserves some respect?"she said softly. He gave a short smile "it's not about respect Sakshi" he explained "I do respect him but he can't control me, dump his decisions on me and expect me to be okay with it".

"Well...they're our parents" she shrugged, "whatever we do, will never be enough for them. And I've made peace with it. You know they would always agree to disagree but they've also reached a certain stage where we can't beg to differ. Sometimes, we need to handle them in a diplomatic way. Make them feel important without losing our credibility. I think we owe them that much".

He let her words sink in for a while and then slowly held her hand "you'll make a great mother Sakshi" he almost whispered "I mean it".

She didn't move her hand away from his as she loved the gesture. Moments passed before he spoke "after the scan, shall we have lunch? I'm starving". She nodded, her hand still clasped in his.

The nurse came out, calling her name. They got up, Aman hesitant to go inside the consultation room.

The nurse led them inside the doctor's room, taking the file from Sakshi. The doctor smiled at her "how are you feeling Sakshi? Any symptoms you're aware of?"

Sakshi sat opposite to her with Aman beside her "I'm fine...although I feel a lot dizzy than before".

The doctor nodded and got up "we'll do an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay" she looked at Aman "you can accompany us".

Aman glanced at Sakshi who seemed to be uncertain "uh..it's okay...I'll wait here" he said.

Sakshi followed the doctor to the other room for ultrasound while Aman waited in the consultation room.

A while later, the accompanying nurse came near him "doctor wants to talk to you" she said in a concerned voice.

Aman wondered what it was and quietly followed her. Once inside, the scene shocked him.

Sakshi was lying on the hospital bed but it was her eyes he noticed which were teary. The doctor moved the device over her belly and looked at him "the scan doesn't look good I'm afraid" she said in a low tone.

He blinked, unable to comprehend what she said and simply stared at her "wh..what do you mean, not good?" He came closer to Sakshi and held her hand.

"I'm not able to find any heartbeat" the doctor explained "there's no movement at all...which means..."

"No! It can't be!" Sakshi almost yelled, cutting her short "you're wrong...."

"I wish I was Sakshi" the doctor patted her shoulder gently "there's absolutely no movement, I think the heart stopped working...it's a stillbirth and we shouldn't wait any longer. We should terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible...that's the only way you..."

"I said stop!" Sakshi yelled, glancing at Aman fearfully "take me home Aman! Please let's go from here".

Aman gaped at her, his hand clasping hers as he realized the full weight of doctor's words. Tears blurred his eyes as well "please understand Sakshi...the doctor's only trying to help..."

She yanked his hand away and sat up straight "you too? You know she's lying...there's nothing wrong with my baby....it's fine..."

Aman shook his head, totally at loss for words. "You must make her understand" the doctor explained him in a tense voice "we must start with the procedure as soon as possible...as time as lapsed already..."

Aman nodded, turning to his wife "it's for your own good...please sweetheart"he held her softly "I know how you're feeling but we can't do anything"

Sakshi didn't reply but stared at him "no! You don't know what I'm feeling...you'll never know..." she almost whispered in defeat "you never wanted this Aman... neither did anyone...you all must be happy...finally got what you wished for"

The words pierced his heart. He struggled to breathe, feeling suffocated. But there was no time for any argument. Clueless as how to handle her further, he took out his phone and called both their parents frantically, asking them to come as soon as possible.

He turned to the doctor "they're on their way" he requested "can we wait till then?"

The doctor nodded with a small smile "don't worry...its a simple procedure. Once I'm done with two other patients, we'll shift her to OT.."

He slowly held Sakshi and they walked outside and the nurse took them to the observation room where there was a bed "lie down...we'll take a short history and make an inpatient file"

Sakshi didn't say a word and lay on the bed, her hands moving to rub her belly,too shocked to say anything. Aman noticed that, his heart shattering into thousand pieces.

What was left to speak now? He wondered in despair; will ever be anything the same again?

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