Breathe in, breathe out..

Sakshi took a deep breath and yet couldn't feel any less nervous. The more she thought about the big day, the more she felt like a nervous wreck.

All her close family members had already arrived and so did few of her friends since her parents had insisted on a simple engagement.

"Too many guests means a lot of headache" Ranjit had said and she couldn't help but wonder if it was the guests he was worried about or the money spent on them. Nevertheless she was glad there weren't many people as she herself was shy around people.

"Sakshi?" Soumya knocked on the door and her eyes brightened the moment she laid eyes on her daughter "oh my God!"she exclaimed "you look so beautiful in saree".

Sakshi blushed slightly "you're exaggerating" she chided "it's not that great really".

"Yeah...you'll feel happy only when Amit compliments you" Soumya teased her daughter "wait till they see you..."

Sakshi didn't reply but checked herself in the mirror "mama?"she said softly "I'm so scared...I don't even know this guy, I don't know what to say or what to do..."

"Relax" Soumya patted her shoulders "you're not getting married right away. There's still time where you can get to know each other". Sakshi rolled her eyes "right..with parents like ours, I really doubt it".

"I'm sure he isn't like your father..." Soumya consoled her "he seems to be a nice and sweet guy...I know you'll be happy with him".

Sakshi wished the same although she couldn't shake the jittery feeling in her stomach. Her cousins had surrounded her by then and she erased the restless thoughts off her mind.

After her makeup was done and she was almost ready, her father walked in, wanting to talk to her alone.

Her friends and cousins excused themselves and walked out leaving her alone. She knew what he would say as he approached her with a stern frown "they're here" he announced.

She didn't know what to reply to that and simply nodded. He leaned closer and whispered "I want you to behave your best and not give any chance to complain".

"I wont..." she began but he cut her off "talk only when necessary and not in a harsh tone. Keep smiling and nod at everything they say".

She nodded again, not wanting to contradict him; he should know better.

It wasnt bad, she thought as she met her future in laws. Amit's mother was a nice woman and she felt at ease after speaking to the older woman.

Amit's elder sister Amrita was friendly although Sakshi felt she wasnt as sweet as her mother.

After all the formalities were done, it was time for the ring ceremony. Sakshi sat next to Amit who gave a warm smile at her which melted her heart. Maybe arranged marriage wasn't bad after all.

After exchanging rings, she met his gaze and he winked at her. She felt her whole body warm at that and quickly bent her head down. When she again caught his gaze for a brief moment, he was still staring at her.

Soon, the guests had thinned down and only the close relatives remained.

Amit looked at his father and then at hers "can I talk to Sakshi if you all don't mind?"he asked politely.

Shekhar exchanged a quick look at Ranjit who smiled brightly "of course beta...why would we mind? You're getting married in few months" he beamed at his daughter "Sakshi? Why don't you take him to the balcony?"

Amit followed her quietly until they were alone and stretched on the cushion chair. She sat opposite to him and averted his gaze.

He pushed the chair closer to her "are you nervous?"he asked. She gave a brief glance at his direction "a little".

He chuckled "a little huh?" His hands moved towards her ring finger where she had worn her engagement ring. He slowly brushed her finger and she felt goosebumps erupt on her body and prayed he didn't notice.

"You look lovely" he said softly and she brightened at the compliment "thanks".

He stared at her "you can say more than one word you know". She managed a smile "I'm not a talkative person".

"Why? Did your father tell you not to talk to strangers?"he joked. She raised her head "yeah...how did you guess?"

For a split second, he thought she was joking but when she had the serious look on her face, he burst out laughing. She pushed his hand away, a little hurt.

"I'm sorry" he stopped laughing and held her hand "but it won't work between us if we hardly speak".

She understood what he meant and merely nodded "this us all new to me..I've never been with a guy before" she admitted "I've no clue how to initiate a conversation". He didn't smile as she had expected and she felt grateful for that.

He took out a phone from his pocket and she saw that it was a brand new iPhone. "I didn't want to give in front of everyone. It would have been too dramatic". She took it with admiration "that's...um..nice of you".

"I've fed my number in it" he added with a grin "in case you feel like talking more". She grinned back, feeling a little at ease "I don't mind".

He took her hand in his "don't sleep early tonight then". She laughed "I'll try".

Just then, he caught sight of a snowy cat perched on the side of their balcony "is it yours?"he pointed out.

Sakshi saw the cat and frowned "no! It's our neigbours' but it keeps coming here. A big nuisance" she shrugged "and I can't stand pets".

He snorted "me too...but don't let my brother hear that".

"You have a brother?"she stared at him in confusion. He took a deep breath and nodded "I've a twin brother Aman...he's not with us anymore".

"What do you mean?"she asked, slightly alarmed. Amit turned to her with a small smile "it's a long story...I'll probably tell you over the phone".

"Amit?" They gave a start and turned to see his sister "we have to leave". She gave a brief smile at Sakshi and walked out.

"I'll see you later okay?" Amit got up and Sakshi did the same. He clasped her hand and looked around to see if they were really alone.

He raised her hand and kissed it softly  "goodbye Sakshi" he whispered. He was almost out of the door when she called "Amit?"she said confidently "don't forget to call me. I'll be waiting".

He gave a wide grin and winked before leaving the room.

◇◇◇◇◇

"Sakshi?"

She didn't realize how much time had elapsed, or the fact that the priest was asking them to repeat their vows as they got married in front of hundred other people, including their parents. Or the fact that she simply stared at the person next to her who was her husband.

The priest repeated again "you can take blessings from the elders for a happy and prosperous married life" he said with an encouraging smile "may God bless you both".

She couldn't understand half of what he had said as her mind was spinning.

Even after they had taken blessings from their parents and other few elders, it was all mechanical. She didn't concentrate on what was being said or spoken. She only wanted the painful ordeal to be over and wondered if he was thinking the same too. She wouldn't dare ask.

After the rituals were over, it was time to go. Soumya was teary eyed as she hugged her daughter but Sakshi didn't utter a word as she slowly made her way towards her in laws who were waiting for her.

It was the same crowd, the same people whom she had expected. Only he wasn't there. She tried to fight back the tears and not to think about him. He was gone, so were her dreams and the future. There was no looking back. She had to forget the past. Only it wasn't easy.

Aman didn't speak a word during their journey back home. He was extremely quiet and she couldn't help but feel he was in the same turmoil as her.

He had worn a simple white kurta and a matching turban which he removed as soon as they got inside of the car. His face was devoid of any expression and he kept glancing through the car window to escape looking at her.

They finally reached the apartment parking lot, much to her relief and she got down when he had mad no attempt to call her.

His parents and few other relatives were already inside and she received a warm welcome. She noticed his mother who was always nice to her had become aloof and the smile didn't look genuine. It was forced. Just like the marriage, she thought wistfully.

Only Amrita looked like she was happy to see her and hugged her brightly and ushered her to the living room.

As Sakshi sat on the couch, she felt may eyes on her and averted her gaze. The last time she was in this house had been eventful.

Her eyes fixed on the large floor and she could see Amit lying on the white mat, his eyes closed as if he was sleeping peacefully. Only he wasn't going to wake up. His last resting place before he was ..

She felt bile rising in her throat, having a severe urge to throw up. She wiped the tears immediately and called out to Devaki who was passing by "I'm tired" she whispered.

Devaki looked at her exhausted face and called her daughter "why don't you take her to their room? Let her rest".

Sakshi followed Amrita as they entered the bedroom which was hers now. As she walked in, she observed that it wasn't as large as Amit's had been but it was simple. Only good part was the large balcony.

Amrita sat next to her in bed "don't hesitate to ask if you need anything" she pointed towards the coffee table where a pitcher of water was kept.

"Do you have the habit of drinking milk at night?" Amrita asked. Sakshi shook her head in aversion "milk makes me nauseous".

Amrita gave a small smile "me too.. but it's good for the...baby". Sakshi didn't reply but removed the veil and kept it aside. "Do you want help getting out of the dress?" Amrita asked.

"No I'm fine really" Sakshi forced a smile "you must rest too...it's your third trimester".

"My doctor has advised me the otherwise" Amrita chuckled "she says I should take long walks, do squats and breathing exercises..it helps in contractions". Sakshi could feel the joy in her voice as she continued "I can't wait for the moment when I'll get to hold the baby in my arms. Rishab and I have been waiting for almost a decade".

Sakshi placed a hand over hers "don't worry...everything will work out fine". Amrita nodded and smiled at her "I'm glad we became sisters.." her smile faded a little when she saw Sakshi's confused expression "I know the circumstances aren't favourable and no one saw this coming..and I'm also sorry about everything that happened to you.." she added hastily "but I'm happy you're here".

Sakshi gave a small snort "you don't have to be nice.." she shrugged "you never liked me..and you never supported me when I was in a huge mess. I had no one but Aman to back me up and now he got into trouble because of me".

Amrita looked at her "part of what you said is true.." she admitted "I didn't like you initially when you were engaged to Amit. Call it my inner jealousy but whenver I would see you both together, happy and into each other, it would remind of my own insecure relationship with my husband".

Sakshi forgot her own turmoil as she listened to the other woman's raw confession.

"I was married before I could kickstart my career. Before my marriage, I had to obey my parents and when I met Rishab, I thought things would be different but they weren't" Amrita sighed "I had to sacrifice my career and job and I had no one to support me. Only Aman could see the pain I was going through and he even fought with baba about it but our father wouldn't budge. And we never had the inclination to fight him. It had always been that way". She paused to glance at Sakshi "when you said I didn't stand up to you, I couldn't. Not my defying my father, nor my husband. My fate is sealed Sakshi" she shrugged "the only silver lining I'm looking forward to is this" she rubbed her belly "that's all I can hope for".

Sakshi slowly realized how similar they were and couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for her sister in law. She was trapped too.

Amrita got up from the bed and looked at Sakshi "I'm not rooting for my brother but you must know.." she whispered "Aman is nothing like us siblings...but he's a gem of a human being. I understand you were forced into this marriage but my suggestion is..don't lose him. Try to make this work".

Sakshi didn't reply to this. With a small pitiful glance, Amrita walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.

Sakshi leaned on the bed and removed her jewellery, her mind still on Amit. She had to stop thinking about him but it wasn't easy since everything here reminded of him.

She changed her clothes and came back to bed, her heart beating wildly. Where was Aman?she wondered. She had lost sight of him since entering the house.

He was probably too angry and went away. She prayed for the same as she didn't want to share the room with him. Not now.

Her thoughts were wandering around when she heard the doorknob click. She gulped for breath and sat up straight.

He entered and closed the door. That only added to her uneasiness. Breathe in, breathe out. She watched him get close and tightly  clutched the pillow.

To her relief however, he made his way towards his wardrobe and took out his clothes. Still not talking, she registered.

Someone had to initiate the conversation, she thought and cleared her throat. He didn't seem to have acknowledged and kept his phone to charge as she watched.

"I..had to tell you something" she said, finally breaking the ice. He didn't turn back but replied "what is it?"

She went on to speak but stopped as she saw in terror that he was removing his kurta.

"You...should go change in the bathroom" she suggested, keeping her voice low.

This time, he turned to look at her "this is my room..I can walk around naked for all I care". She raised a stunned eyebrow. No! She wasn't prepared for this!

"You can when you're alone...now you're not" she said evenly. "Doesn't matter...if you have a problem, you can leave" he retorted.

"I'm too tired for this Aman" she said in a defeated tone "I don't want us to fight and complicate things".

"Things are complicated already" he quipped "so don't expect any leniency from me".

He faced her, his hands moving down towards his zipper. She stared at him "if this is your way of getting even with me, then be it" she got up from the bed and approached him, her eyes glued to his "undress now".

His eyes flared in anger and he almost pushed his pants down. She didn't waver her gaze but looked at him with determination.

He gritted his teeth "damn you Sakshi" he cursed, moving past her and banging the bathroom door behind him.

When he came out after a long while, she was in bed and turned to the other side.

He sat on the other edge of the bed "what is it that you wanted to tell me?" He asked blandly.

She didn't turn and he heard sniffing sound which seemed like she was crying.

He almost moved his hand closer to her but stopped, not knowing what to do. He waited for her to stop crying.

When she didn't, he cleared his throat "do you want me to go?" She didn't reply and he gave a deep sigh "then what do you want? Shit! Just tell me!"

She slowly turned to his side "I want this to be over" she said slowly "I want this nightmare to end..so I've decided something".

He looked at her in confusion as her next words surprised him. "I've decided that once I give birth, I'm giving up the baby for adoption" she said quietly.

Hi everyone!!
How was the chapter??
Please vote and comment...(I'm sorry for not able to reply to your previous comments...I'll try to in this chapter ☺)
Have a great day ahead ❤❤