With my physical therapy session on Tuesday and Lynn working all morning yesterday, we haven't had a chance to see each other since swimming three days ago. It's been okay though. It's given me a chance to think things through. I'm trying to be smart about how I approach my own emotions. I've never been a big fan of digging around and trying to decipher these so-called feelings. I'd rather just go with the flow and do what ever pleases me in that moment. But when it comes to Lynn, I refuse to make a wrong move. She's special to me and I'd hate to be that guy who accidentally uses her as a rebound.

Though truth be told, I'm so over Penny that there's no risk of making that kind of mistake with Lynn now. I'm a free man. My heart belongs to no one. I can do what I please and lately, Lynn's been forcing me to view our relationship in a new light. I've already acknowledged that Lynn is not simply a friend. She's far more than that. She's my encourager—my supporter—and those qualities have slowly unveiled my eyes to the fact that she's good for me.

I'm just not sure if I'm good for her.

I'm a mess. I don't talk about it with anyone because they all think I'm still stuck on the fact that I lost my leg. Truth is, I'm over that. Sure, there are days when it's tough and I'm frustrated when I'm so limited in activities, but I have hope that time will change that. But see, that's the thing. I still have hope.

Malcolm Everett, though? He doesn't.

That's where the real darkness has manifested. My chest feels thick with this ugly tar—the consequences of a moment of distraction. Had my mind been focused on driving, Malcolm Everett might have survived. I might have had time to break or swerve, but I'd been thinking about other things—trivial things—and it cost him his life.

That's where I'm really struggling. I can't seem to come to terms with what I've done. I just repeat that day over and over in my head until it's branded into every cell of my body. I can't take a step without recalling that day and my mind conjures up all kinds of horrific images of this little boy torn to pieces as he lays sprawled in the middle of a sun-cooked street.

Loneliness and regret have nestled their way inside my life and I can't get rid of them. Realistically, I know I'm not at fault. I was driving safe and I wasn't even going that fast. The fact of the matter is, that little boy died because he did something stupid... and I'll suffer forever because of it.

Maybe that's where my true bitterness stems from.

I'm angry at Malcolm for riding into the road without looking. I'm angry at Malcolm for not being smarter. I'm angry at Malcolm for destroying my life and causing me to end his. He's to blame... and yet, I can only manage to blame myself and the weight of that guilt is excruciating.

I need to escape. I have to get out of here before the loneliness eats me alive.

My mom still works full-time, leaving me to fend for myself now that school's out. Dillon and Lynn are the only friends I still have around here, but I can't just expect them to get up and go anytime I ask them to spend the day with me. I don't think they realize that my intentions are selfish. I need them so I can let go of my regret for just a few hours. I'm using them to find a moment of peace.

Calling up Dillon, I ask if he's free to get together, but from the quality of his voice, I already know the answer. He sounds bad. Really bad. His voice is gravelly and weak, congestion making his words mumbled and thick. I swear he nearly hacked out a lung while trying to explain the severity of his flu symptoms to me. As if his bark-like cough wasn't clue enough. He sounds like a freakin' sea lion yapping in misery.

Telling him to just relax and get better, I hang up and dial Lynn's number.

"I'm in," she answers, throwing me off guard.

"You don't even know why I'm calling," I tell her.

"So."

"I could be calling to see if you're up for helping me rob a bank," I say. "Or graffiti the school's basketball court, or steal babies."

"Doesn't matter," she responds, likely with a casual shrug accompanying her words. "I'd do anything right now. I'm that bored."

"Great," I deadpan. "Let's steal us some babies then."

Her laughter filters through the phone in a muffled, choppy way but somehow it still fills my chest with a heatwave of tenderness. How did I not see how incredible she was from the very start? I feel like I missed out on so much by being resentful.

"Pick me up," Lynn says and I can hear her shuffling around on the other end of the phone. "I'm getting ready now."

"Copy that, Captain!"

Yes, I did say that. And yes, I did put way too much enthusiasm into it. I want to shoot myself in the face with a paintball gun for how stupid it sounded falling off my tongue too. But, Lynn didn't seem bothered by it. Instead, she just hollers a quick 'see ya' and hangs up on me.

Twenty minutes later, Lynn's jabbering my right ear off as we cruise through town. We have no plans; we're just wasting time in the best way possible. Without any direction, I find myself pulling into a drive-thru and ordering food I'm not hungry for. It must be because I'm slightly nervous. Conversation is coming easily, but I'm also putting a lot more thought into everything I'm saying than I ever have before. Food just seemed like the logical solution for easing my scattered thoughts back into order.

As we sit munching french fries and cheeseburgers, I struggle to figure out why I'm acting so stiff. Glancing at Lynn, I realize that she doesn't seem to notice my predicament. Actually, it seems she's in her own little world as she hums along to the radio. I watch her for a moment, a smile easing its way onto my lips. She always seems so carefree. There's a lightness to her that I find enviable. I covet the easy-going way in which she lives life. I want her free spirit. I want to feel weightless and free.

She catches me watching her and I slowly drop my gaze to the pile of french fries in my lap, but I can't hide the grin on my face. I can feel her watching me, analyzing me, but I refuse to answer her silent question.

"What is that?"

Her voice pulls my attention back in her direction and I find her pointing toward the backseat. I twist around, peering between the center console to find what she's talking about.

"Oh," I say. "That's a hammock."

She's hums in response seconds before her face bursts into a childish smile.

"I've got the best idea!"

"What might that be?" I ask, wadding up my food wrappers and tossing them into the backseat.

"You'll see."

The mischievous smirk on her lips has me curious, but I ask no further questions as she directs me out of town and down one of the many country roads. Soon enough, she's having me pull to the shoulder of the road and barking for me to hop out of the vehicle. After snagging my hammock from the backseat, she rounds the hood of the car and comes to stand in front of me. I feel her eyeing my prosthetic, and a moment later she's lifting uncertain eyes up to mine.

"You up for a little hiking?"

I take a look around us, trying to get a feel for my surroundings. In these parts, there really isn't much of a challenge. The ground is relatively even, which usually bores the life out of me. Today though, I'm thrilled by the predictability of the smooth—less thrilling—terrain.

"Absolutely," I tell her, hope swooping in to alleviate my mind of remorse—if only temporarily.

She winds me through the trees until we merge onto a well-worn path. Either we've stepped foot into one of the many state parks in the area or we've just found ourselves on an animal trail. The air grows thicker the further we walk, humidity sticking to my flesh like a second skin. I'm just dreaming about how nice a jump in the pool would be right about now when I hear the undeniable trickle of a nearby stream.

"This property belongs to some good friends of my parents'," Lynn starts to say, continuing forward even though she has her torso turned so she can talk to me. "As a kid, anytime we'd go to their house for visits, I'd escape out here and pretend I was a fairy."

"A fairy?" I tease, brows raised in question.

"You'll see why," she promises, turning back around.

She doesn't say anything else as we walk and a moment later the stream comes into view. From here, the stream doesn't look all that impressive, but I refrain from commenting this. The closer we get to it, the more I understand though.

This place is a hidden paradise.

Somehow the trees are spaced just right to allow the rays of sunlight to cascade down and penetrate the clear water with patches of light. It's an odd sight to see in this part of the world, but the trees nearest the water are coated with hanging vines and sheets of draped moss. I could actually fool myself into believing that we're exploring the jungles of the tropics.

Tree branches arch across the water as if reaching for their brothers and sisters on the other side, creating a woven tunnel along certain stretches of the stream. Even the ground is covered is the spongey texture of moss—natures carpet.

"Why are you just now showing this to me?" I chastise, marveling at the beauty around me.

"Dunno," she shrugs. "Just never thought about it before. Your hammock reminded me of it, actually."

Without waiting for my response, she begins walking along the water, a lightness in her step. Shamefully, I'm too riveted on watching her to notice that she's pointing ahead at a set of trees in the distance. Turning, she smiles at me expectantly and I realize she's waiting for a response.

"What?"

"I said, do you think your hammock is long enough to tie to those two trees?" She points again and this time I'm focused.

The trees are fairly close together but are separated by the flow of the creek. It's a bit more rapid in that specific spot, water jumping over rocks as it's pushed along. She wants me to hang the hammock so that it's dangling over the water. I realize that by doing so, we're creating the perfect experience. A peaceful swing in the hammock with a hint of danger below. Kinda brilliant, actually. I mean, it's not risky in the slightest, but if you're not in the mood to get wet, then you are taking a chance by crawling into a net hanging above water. Since my life has been so bleak the last few months, I'm ready to take a gamble, no matter how small.

But then I realize that I won't be able to enjoy even this moment the way I'd like. Not with my stupid leg.

"Yeah," I answer her. "It'd definitely work."

With a satisfied smile, I watch Lynn stalk off toward the trees and begin tying the ropes around it herself. I join her, making sure she's formed a secure knot before watching as she kicks off her shoes in preparation for the waters to kiss her feet. I want to take over and do the job for her, but I'm still in my original prosthetic and water could damage some of the parts. So, letting her wade through the water to the other side, I watch as she secures the rope around the opposite tree.

"Ready?" she calls out to me, and I simply shake my head, making sure my smile is still in place.

"Naw," I say, waving her off. "You enjoy it. I might go soak up a little sun over there." I point to a massive rock that sits at the very edge of the stream, water slipping past its edges.

"Um, no."

Before I can respond, Lynn's making her way back across the creek and marching directly up to me. Jabbing me in the chest, she narrows her eyes at me.

"I'm not gonna let you lay over there feeling sorry for yourself," she says, and I find myself grinning in response. "You're getting on that hammock even if I have to carry you there myself."

"Really?" I say, crossing my arms over my chest in challenge.

"Yes!"

"Alright then," I tease, raising my arms up so she has free access to me. "Pick me up then."

She tries. Oh, she really tries. And it's hilarious enough to listen to her grunt and moan as she does her absolute best to heave me into her arms, but when she lets out an accidental toot, I nearly lose it. My laughter only enrages her more, and she slaps me hard against the chest.

"There's more where that came from," she warns, though I can see her fighting back a laugh.

"What. You planning to fart me into compliance?"

Her hand drops from where she's had it pressed angrily against my chest, and hangs loosely at her side in defeat. She whimpers with failure, but the smile just won't ebb from the hidden crevices of her face. She can't fight it either. As embarrassed as she might be, she can't deny that it's funny.

"Shut up, you stupid elephant!"

"Wait a minute," I joke, trying to speak through my chokes of amusement, "I thought I was a mouse."

She lets out a loud grunt of annoyance before plopping down on a small rock. I let my laughter run its course before joining her on the forest floor. Every once in awhile one of us will chuckle again, but eventually, calm settles over us as we watch the water ripple by.

"Can I see it?"

Her sudden change in topic shouldn't catch me off guard anymore, but I'm still surprised by the question. I don't have to ask to know what she's talking about. I've kept it out of sight from prying eyes for so long that it's almost natural to keep it hidden.

"Why?" My voice is soft, barely a whisper as I snatch up a rock and skip it across the creek. It only jumps once before a small wave breaks its momentum.

"Because," she says, turning her face toward me and waiting until I glance down at the sincerity in her expression before continuing. "I want to prove to you that it's not hideous or scary. I want to prove to you that I'm not going to judge you for something you have no control over. I'm not going to run scared by the sight of your scars. We all have ugly things in our past. We all have scars. It just so happens that yours are physical..." She pauses, regret and sorrow filling her eyes. "... and emotional." Her hand reaches out for mine and I melt into her comfort. "Unfortunately, you kinda suck at hiding the emotional ones."

A single, defeated laugh escapes my lips but I can't deny it. I've always worn my emotions on my sleeve and I hate that about myself.

With one last glance at Lynn's earnest face, I reach for my left leg.

---

It's happening guys! It's happening!!! 

What are your feelings for Jamie now? I know some of you didn't like him in earlier chapters. Are those feeling changing at all or do you still dislike him? Just curious. :)

Next chapter teaser: It's the moment you've all been waiting for... :D