I never thought I'd be relieved to see my friends go, but relieved, I am. Not that I don't enjoy them, but I've just come to realize just how shallow they are. Well, apart from Clarice. As much as she irritates me with her drama, she's not so bad. Drew and Penny though? I could use a little time away from them. Drew's the type to be so involved in his own life that he doesn't even sense if other's are struggling. He's self-absorbed and he doesn't even know it. It's not intentional, he's just the kind of guy who's oblivious to the world around him. And then there's Penny, of course. There's been enough said about her.

As I wave my friends off, watching as they set out for some kind of epic adventure, a part of me aches. It's not that I want to join them; I just want to have some kind of adventure of my own. I need some excitement if I'm going to be stuck in Galena for the entire summer—if not longer.

It was nice of them to stop by and at least make it feel as though they wanted me to be going on this trip with them. They did all the necessary begging and pleading, but in the end, they all knew that my decision was final. Not like I had a say in it. With physical therapy taking place every week, I couldn't go even if I wanted to.

Heading back into the house, I snatch my car keys off the kitchen island and lock up the house before sending Lynn a text that I'm on my way. After our chat yesterday, I've been feeling a lightness in my chest. I unknowingly let go of my burdens when I finally said what I needed to say to her. It's like my own pride was holding me back from feeling free. Submitting to that nagging voice in my head and finally expressing myself to Lynn in a genuine way has opened up a whole new world for me.

I pull to a stop in front of her house fifteen minutes later and step out of my car. A wave of anxiety trickles through my bloodstream and I hesitate my steps for a moment as I try to decipher where the sudden nerves came from. Lynn doesn't make me nervous. I have no reason to feel tense as I make my way to her front door. And yet, I do.

Knocking a couple times, I carefully push the door open and yell out a greeting into the quiet house. I assume somebody's home since the door was unlocked. Besides, Lynn is fully aware that I'm on my way. She was the one who told me to come by around eleven. So, where is she now?

Stepping inside, I softly close the door behind me and then glance around the open room. I can hear the ticking of the clock in the kitchen, and turn my attention to the time to make sure I didn't read the numbers on my phone wrong. But nope, it's eleven o'clock on the dot.

"Hello?" I call out again, edging my way further into the house.

"Come in. Come in," I hear a voice holler from the hallway, and I'm positive it's not Lynn.

A moment later, her mom appears. She looks a bit flustered, like she might have been in the shower and my arrival forced her to rush.

"Sorry," she apologizes, her slight accent turning the R's into L's so that it sounds more like 'saa-lee'. "Lynn is grocery shopping for me, but should be back any time."

"Okay," I say. "That's fine."

"You want something to eat?" she asks, making her way to the kitchen. "Drink?"

"Oh, no," I decline. "I'm okay. Thank you."

She nods once, smiling, though I can see that she's not quite sure how to entertain me until Lynn arrives. So instead, she busy's herself by cutting up fruit and arranging it onto a plate. As she does this she questions me about my hobbies and family.

"My parents are divorced," I explain to her. "So it's just me and my mom now."

"No siblings?" she asks.

"Nope."

"Like Lynn," she tells me. "She had a sister, but she didn't make it. Lynn was our miracle baby."

I'm shocked by this new revelation and the nonchalant way Lynn's mom brought it up—almost as if she figured I already knew. Why didn't I know? Lynn was my friend for years before our falling out, and yet, she never mentioned having a sister, even if it was only for a short time. I want to ask more questions but I know it's not my place to pry, so instead, I remain quiet as I watch Mrs. Sodawaan work.

"Okay," Mrs. Sodawaan says after a moment, dusting her hands off on her slacks after dropping her parring knife into the sink. "Here you go."

Then she pushes the plate of fruit toward me with a large grin. I'm pretty sure I had declined her offer for food, but it seems she needed something to do with her hands, so I don't complain. Besides, now that I'm looking at the pineapple and strawberries in front me of, I can't deny how refreshing they look.

"Thank you," I say, picking up a piece of the tangy, tropical fruit and popping it in my mouth.

"Enjoy," she says politely. "I need to finish getting ready, but you are welcome to get comfortable and watch some TV until Lynn arrives."

I nod in acknowledgement as I hurry to swallow and then smile. "Thank you, Mrs. Sodawaan."

Not even two minutes later, Lynn is making her way through the front door, bags dangling off her wrists and slamming into the doorframe as she enters.

"Sorry, sorry," she mumbles, hurrying to the kitchen and heaving the grocery bags onto the countertop. "You been waiting long?"

"Twenty minutes or so," I tell her, rotating my torso so I can rest my arms on the back of the couch as I watch Lynn pull items from the bags and put them away.

"Looks like my mom took care of you in my absence," she says, eyeing the now empty plate of fruit resting on the coffee table.

"Yep."

"Guess you're not hungry for these then," she teases, wiggling a bag of jelly beans in the air for me to see.

A smile cracks across my face and I moan in appreciation. "You remembered," I say, awestruck by her ability to recall my favorite candy. Honestly, I don't think I've had a jelly bean in over four years.

She chucks the bag across the room and I catch it with one hand. A smile plays at my lips as I glance at the packaging. "This is gonna take me back to my childhood," I tell her, just before pulling the bag open and slipping a pink jelly bean between my lips. "Oh yes," I groan and I hear Lynn chuckle in the background.

"So," she says, her voice much closer now. I flick my eyes open to find her making her way to the couch. She settles down next to me with one leg pulled up to her chest. Turning to face me she asks, "what's the plan for today?" before snatching the bag of jelly beans from my hand and tossing a handful into her mouth.

"Don't have any," I tell her, attempting to grab the bag of goodies back from her but she's too quick. Pulling it to her chest she gives me a berating look.

"You had me block out a slot of time just for you and you didn't even have anything planned?" her tone is incredulous, but the sarcasm is thick, hinting at her playfulness.

"Fine," I sigh, successfully plucking a jelly bean out from between her fingers and popping it in my mouth. "Let's do something different."

"Uh... like?" she asks around a mouthful of jellybeans.

"I don't know," I respond. "Like, something crazy. Something you've always wanted to do but never had the guts to do before. Something that would make your mom freak out. We could—"

A gasp cuts me off mid-sentence and I glance up to find Lynn with both hands over her mouth as she fights to contain a giddy smile. She's nearly bouncing in her seat with the internal need to express the excitement bubbling within her.

"Okay, spit it out before you pee yourself."

"Oh, gosh," she squeaks, "I've wanted to do this for ages, but my parents are so traditional—well, my mom is—that they'd totally freak."

"Do what?"

Standing, I watch as she makes her way around the couch and back toward the kitchen where she picks her purse up before swiveling back around to face me, her expression pinched with uncontrollable joy.

"We're going back to the store."

I gasp, bringing both hands up to my mouth in mock horror. "Oh, the shame. You're right. Your parents would be appalled."

"Shut up."

Laughing, I push myself up into standing with only minimal effort and follow Lynn out the front door.

———

"Alrighty, which color?"

I stand gaping from the brilliant blue hair dye in Lynn's left hand to the wild red in her right. Then my eyes jump to her face, the look of glee on hers a stark contrast to the clear horror on mine.

"No," I say with an adamant shake of my head. "No, no, no."

"Um, yes," she argues. "You wanted to do something big. Something we've never done before." She cocks her hip out, resting the back of her wrist on it as she eyes me seriously. "Come on, Jamie. You want to live, right? You need to stop being so blah and do something crazy."

I just stare at her, my mind debating with itself. She takes my silence as her cue to continue trying to convince me.

"Look," she says, "if you don't do this, my opinion of you will only dwindle until it's non-existent. Be a big boy. Do something exciting. I promise you—"

"Fine," I suddenly say, taking a step toward Lynn so that there's only a few inches separating my chest from hers. "But, if I'm gonna do this?" I pause, watching as the humor slips from her features and her breathing falters, "I'm gonna do it right."

Then, reaching around her stiff body, I pluck a box off the shelf behind her and wiggle it in front of her face. She rears her head back slightly to get a better glance at it and then a flood of boisterous laughter erupts from her lips.

"I really hope you're being serious right now," she says as I bypass her and make my way to the checkout counter.

"Dead. Serious," I respond.

We make the drive back to Lynn's house, lively chatter filling my car. The atmosphere has changed. I'm not sure if Lynn notices it, or if it's just something within me, but for the first time, I sense the revival of something deep inside. Something I thought had died along with that little boy the day I smashed his future into oblivion.

"Looks like my mom's gone," Lynn notices as we pull up outside her house.

The car Lynn must have driven earlier is no longer in the driveway and when we reach the door, it's locked. I watch as Lynn takes a few steps to the left and then kneels down beneath one of the windows. Her fingers feel along the brick siding before finding one of the loose blocks and pulling it away to reveal a single key.

Unlocking the door, we make our way into her house and up the stairs to Lynn's bedroom. She kicks her door open and speed walks toward her private bathroom where she pulls all our purchases from the grocery bag and lays them out on the counter.

"Ready?" she asks, turning dark brown eyes toward me.

I nod, finding myself at a loss for words when I see the breathtaking delight on her face. I know she's doing this for me. She wants to help me forget my troubles and enjoy life for just a little while, but a part of me wonders if Lynn needs this too. Maybe not for reasons like mine. I need a day to forget, but maybe she just needs a day to unwind and relax.

"You're going first," she states, popping open the box of bright pink hair dye and unfolding the instructions. "Wait here."

She disappears from the bathroom and returns a moment later with an old towel and a jar of vaseline.

"My mom dyes her hair constantly," she explains before I even get a chance to ask. "I've seen her rub vaseline along her hairline and ears to keep the dye from staining her skin. Figured we might as well try it too."

"Okay."

"Here," she throws the towel at me. "Wrap this around you so we don't ruin your shirt."

I do as told and then take a seat on the toilet lid so that Lynn can apply the vaseline. I watch as she pops the lid off and then makes her way to me. Kneeling on the floor, she gives me a quick glance before dropping her gaze and dipping her finger in the oily gel.

Her fingers are soft as they glide along my hairline and I find myself shivering against her touch. She must notice because she freezes her movements and sends me a questioning look, which I don't bother acknowledging, and then she continues on.

"Turn your head," she tells me, as she shuffles a little closer.

I rotate my head toward the shower stall just as her fingers connect with the back of my neck. She's gentle as she coats my skin with the vaseline, her breathing even and her actions focused. It's not until I see the slightest of tremor in her hands as she reaches back into the vaseline jar that I realize she's nervous. For some reason, this realization causes a wave of cold apprehension to blow through my core. I take a deep breath, pushing the sensation away just as she finishes up.

She stands, hurrying to slip on the cheap plastic gloves that came with the kit and then begins combining the dye ingredients together in a bottle. As I watch her work, my eyes drift away from her working hands and up toward her face. She's got her bottom lip tucked under her teeth as she focuses on her task. I don't think she notices me watching her until her eyes suddenly flicker in my direction. She freezes for a moment, her face void of emotion as her gaze connects with mine. That's the moment that my mind explodes with a new truth. It's a truth I'm not sure I'm ready for, but it's undeniable.

Lynn is stunning.

I've always found her beautiful, but it was always in a best friend and nothing more kind of way. Today, right now, as I watch her tear her eyes away from me as she fumbles to finish blending the dyes, I'm finally able to admit that Lynn is not been sentenced to the friend zone. She's grown and the possibility that she could be something more smacks me in the face like a nail-embedded brick.

I drop my gaze to the ground, my focus blurred as my mind races with this new awareness. I don't like it. I'm not ready for it. I just recently gave up on Penny; it's too soon to move on. But the truth is, I think I've known this truth about Lynn for awhile. I was just in denial, too caught up in my feelings for Penny to realize that Lynn could be a possibility.

It's not until Lynn is standing right beside me that I glance up. As she proceeds to squirt the chemical mixture into my hair, I watch her. My eyes are intent and focused as they take in the curve of her nose, the slope of her jaw, and the tilt of her lips. I've never looked at her lips before, not like this—like I want to taste them—but now I can't stop looking.

The thought startles me and I'm just about to tear my eyes away from her, cold fear slipping into my bloodstream, when she speaks.

"Stop staring at me," she suddenly says, not bothering to tear her eyes away from her task to look at me.

Maybe I should feel embarrassed for getting caught. Maybe I should listen to her and drop my gaze to the floor. Maybe I should laugh it off, pretending I wasn't staring.

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

But I'm stubborn and feeling defiant. Instead, I stay quiet as I continue to let my eyes peruse over her features. I've always been a sucker for girls with hints of freckles. They add a vulnerability to a girl that I find appealing, but Lynn doesn't have any freckles. Her face is smooth and even—aside from a couple blemish scars dotting her cheeks—but I don't care.

My chest tightens as I realize where my thoughts have wondered and a flash flood of terror sizzles into the pit of my stomach. This feels wrong. I just ended things with Penny; there can't possibly be room in my heart to feel for someone else. It's not fair to Lynn. Even if I'm not looking for a distraction from Penny, I can't help but wonder if it's my brain's way of getting over her. I'm latching on to another possibility in hopes of easing the pain of her loss.

Maybe my intentions are pure. Maybe there's nothing selfish about this new possibility. Maybe there's a chance I've been shutting out what my heart truly wants all along.

There I go with the maybe's again.

The thing is, I can't make a decision based off maybe's. I can't give Lynn hope of there ever being more between us because I'd hate myself if I did that and then discovered later that she was just a diversion; my heart's way of numbing out its disappointment in Penny.

So, instead of slipping my hand around Lynn's neck and pulling her toward me until my lips smash into hers, I simply drop my gaze. My entire demeanor has changed and I refuse to soften to the possibility until I'm certain of my own intentions.

"There," Lynn says, standing with a triumphant look on her face. "Done."

Standing and switching places with Lynn, I grab the tub of vaseline as she wraps a towel around her shoulders. Dread suddenly ravels its way into a lead ball in my gut and I have to fight the frown threatening to unleash itself on my face. Now that I'm finished, it's my turn to dye Lynn's hair, and honestly, the thought terrifies me. It's not that I'm dreading touching her. On the contrary, really.

I'm just worried that once my fingers get a taste of her soft, warm skin, they won't want to stop.

----

Uh oh... how are we feeling about Jamie's new realization??? Excited? Disgusted? Meh?