The ride home is uncomfortable, and I know it's my fault. I'd never intended to get myself into such a situation as I did. In truth, I'd honestly thought I was halfway to being over Penny, but it seems I was only in denial. I think I want to be over her. My heart and my head are both in agreement. They know that Penny is all wrong for me, and yet, somehow when she slid her hand over my thigh and leaned in close, her breath on my lips, I was a goner. She was my kryptonite and I needed to stay as far from her as possible.

Lynn sits quietly beside me as we make the drive back home. She hasn't spoken since we bid the rest of my friends goodbye at the campground. Her reaction makes me feel two things: guilt and annoyance. She's been completely upfront about her feelings for me, so I'm sure that finding me with my lips glued to Penny's was a painful thing to witness. But, I'm annoyed because it seems that I keep having to tiptoe around everyone else's feelings. I don't feel like I can freely pursue what I want because I'll risk hurting someone else in the process.

The more I think about it, the more angered I get. Lynn's silent treatment isn't fair. It wasn't like Penny and I decided to make out where everyone and their pet Chihuahua could watch. We purposely went back to the campsite so we could get privacy. There's no way we could have predicted everyone else would follow ten minutes later.

Deciding to be the bigger person, and hopefully put this all behind us, I clear my throat and glance over at Lynn where she's staring out her window. The teasing and goofy singing that we enjoyed on the way here is now absent.

"You okay?" I ask, pulling her gaze towards me. She shifts in her seat and shoots a smile in my direction.

"Yeah, of course," she says, but before I can question her further, she elaborates. "Don't worry," she tells me, reaching to pat my thigh in assurance, "I'll be fine. Just give me about two and a half hours."

"Why two and a half?" I can't help but ask.

"Well," she explains, "By the time we get home, shower, and watch Mrs. Doubtfire, it'll have been about two and a half hours."

"And Mrs. Doubtfire is your go-to movie for when you're having a bad day or something?" I inquire, my mouth twitching to smile.

"No," she says, "but it happens to be amazing, and I've been in the mood to watch it for two weeks now. Might as well watch it tonight."

"Ah," I say, my head bobbing slowly up and down in understanding. "And you're planning to have me join you for these events?" The instant confusion on her face has a chuckle falling from my lips. "Well, you said 'we'. I just assumed you were inviting me to join you."

"Oh." She glances up at the ceiling of the car, pondering my words before nodding. "Yeah, okay. You can join me."

"Cool."

"My showers tend to be pretty hot though," she tells me, her face serious.

"Okay?" The one word is drawn out in question as my eyes flitter back and forth between her and the road.

"Wait. You were only talking about joining me for the movie, weren't you?" she says, her face giving away the fact that she's highly enjoying messing with me. "Darn."

I laugh at her playfulness, glad to see the old Lynn back. For the few months I've known her, she's never been one to stay angry for long. Sure, I find her in a bad mood on several occasions, but when it comes to being mad at someone, she typically gets over it rather quickly.

"Speaking of showers," she goes on. "Did you wanna just shower at my place, or meet me later for the movie?"

"I'll probably head home first," I tell her, not in the mood to go into detail as to why I can't shower anywhere but at home.

I drop her off at her house and then return home to ready myself for an evening spent with Lynn. It seems easier to shower now and get it over with since I'll most likely be at her place late into the night. I'd hate to drag myself home, knowing I've still got an hour of readying myself for bed to do.

"Took you long enough," Lynn berates when I arrive on her front doorstep an hour later.

"Be nice or I'll leave," I tease, sidling past her and into the warmth of her unfamiliar home. The sweet fragrance of baked goods fills my senses.

"Well, considering that you basically invited yourself over," she starts to say, shrugging, "then feel free to leave whenever you want."

"Fine," I huff, pretending to turn towards the door.

"But first," she cuts in as she heads towards the kitchen, "can you help me carry the popcorn, brownies, Lucky Charms, and Pepsi to the living room?"

I stare at her, catching on to her little game. She's tempting me with food. Clever girl.

Feeling bold, I walk up behind her retreating form and swoop her up into my arms, throwing her over my shoulder. It's slightly more difficult for me than I'd suspected it'd be, but I think I've succeeded until a wave of phantom pain shoots into my missing calf and I end up stumbling as I drop to my knees.

I let out a groan as my prosthetic jams itself into the tender scars of my left thigh. I hear the faint thud of Lynn's body as she falls from my arms, but I'm too focused on my own agony to tune into the pain of anyone else around me. I pull in a breath, shifting onto my backside as I pull my fake leg towards my chest. My pain tolerance is high, but even I have trouble keeping the waves of misery from pooling in my eyes. I clamp my lids shut, forcing away any sign of my weakness as I moan into my fist.

"Jamie!" I hear Lynn's voice beside me, urgent and overflowing with concern, but I can't be bothered to acknowledge her yet.

"Dang it!" I yell out, my eyes still sealed tight as my mind becomes aware of a shift in the room. I take deep breathes until the tearing pain finally releases its hold on me, and I drop back onto the wood floors. I'm covered in a thin layer of perspiration, my shower from earlier instantly buried beneath my sweat.

"I'm sorry, Lynn," I say, dropping my arm over my face as I take in several deep breaths.

"It's fine," she says, scooting closer to me. I can feel her body heat beside me and a moment later her hand skims my chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nod, pushing myself into a seated position with a grunt, her hand falling away from me with the movement. It's only then that I realize we're not alone.

Standing just behind Lynn are a man and woman—whom I suspect are her parents. They must notice the shock on my face, and they hurry forward quickly. The man comes to my side, helping me up and assisting me to the couch as the woman scurries off towards the open-concept kitchen behind us. A moment later, she placing a cold glass of water in my hand.

"Thank you," I mutter, feeling stupid.

"Are you feeling better now?" the man asks, his dark brown eyes boring into mine with the same concern I'd heard in Lynn's voice just moments ago.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I say, shaking my head in embarrassment. "I haven't experienced one of those in awhile; I figured I was over that."

"What was it?" Lynn asks, sitting down on the couch and turning sideways to face me. She crosses her legs as she waits for my response.

"Phantom pain," I explain, quickly glancing to Lynn's parents before finding her gaze again. "It's just nerve pain. I guess my brain still hasn't accepted the fact that my leg is gone, so it shoots pain into my missing limb on occasion. It's really weird." I'd wondered if Lynn's parents were aware of my situation, but given the lack of surprise on their faces as I go into detail, I assume she's already told them everything.

"I'm fine now, really," I assure her parents, glancing up at their worried faces as they stand above me. "It's nice to finally meet you both, by the way," I add, feeling ridiculous about my timing. "Sorry if wasn't under better circumstances."

"We're just glad you're okay," Mrs. Sodawaan says softly, patting my shoulder with a smile. "But we're very happy to meet you as well."

"Lynn speaks very fondly of you," Lynn's father says, shooting a sly smile in his daughter's direction. I follow his gaze to find Lynn fiddling with a stray strand of fabric that has unraveled from the gray microfiber couch. "Are you two—"

"Don't you dare ask, dad," Lynn hurries to say. "We're only friends. Promise."

"Yeah," I confirm. "Lynn's amazing, but there's no way..." I let my sentence fade with the implication of what I couldn't bring myself to say.

Her dad chuckles to himself, giving the two of us a doubtful look. Honestly, I'm not sure I like what his expression is saying. Lynn and I are and will only ever be friends. We've already made that clear. She's in agreement that friendship is the best option, and I most certainly am.

I glance at Lynn, ready to laugh at the absurdity of something more than friendship, but the torn look on her face has the smile dropping right off my lips. She must sense my eyes on her because she glances up and quickly covers up her hurt with a smile before jumping off of the couch.

"Stay there," she says to me, before pulling her parents out of the living room. I hear them share a few muffled whispers in the kitchen, and a moment later Lynn returns with a tray filled with all the right kinds of movie snacks.

That's something else I've noticed about Lynn. She seems to know when I've had enough attention on me. She has a skill for diverting peoples' attention or changing the subject. My other friends have been great, but I don't feel the same openness with them that I feel with Lynn. Maybe it's because they all flutter around the topic of my leg as if it's going to set me off, whereas Lynn is direct and unashamed about her curiosity.

She can somehow sense when things are too serious and she'll flip the conversation into something lighthearted. That's what I've needed. I don't need people to ignore my circumstance. I need them to make it obvious that it doesn't bother them. The fact that Lynn can tease me about my impairment makes me feel normal in a way I never thought it could.

"You ready to get this party started?" she asks, large eyes peering into mine with a hint of childish excitement.

"You bet."

She settles in on the couch, the tray of snacks sitting between us as we watch Mrs. Doubtfire. It's a good distraction from my humiliation just moments before, but as the minutes tick away, I find my mind drifting back to Penny. I'm still not sure about her. There's a plastic quality to her emotions sometimes. She carries no warmth, and it's this lack of warmth that makes me question her integrity.

She's kissed me twice now. Twice. And yet, I see no clues in her behavior that signal she feels even the slightest attraction towards me. If anything, I feel like an experiment. She's the type of girl who needs to experience something before she understands how she feels about it. For example, she can't just say that she loves all sports. She has to try them all out first. And this scares me because if she has that same ideology about sports as she does people, then she's simply using me to discover her own feelings. It's completely backwards and very messed up, but my attraction to her makes me stupid. Somehow, the fact that she's willing makes me willing.

Simply put: we're a dangerous combination.

I don't realize that I've become so consumed in my own thoughts until Lynn stretches her leg along the edge of the sofa and shoves her toe into my thigh. I glance over at her to find a curious grin plastered on her face.

"You've drifted off into another world," she states, tilting her head to indicate the credits rolling up the screen of our now finished movie. Somehow, I'd become so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn't even realized the movie was over. "Wanna share what's on your mind?"

I shake my head, not at all ready to divulge what I'd had on my mind. I know I'm weak, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to announce it to the world. Besides, after what my friends saw earlier today, they all know exactly what my weakness is.

"Oh..." Lynn's lips curve up into a sly smile. "Penny, huh?"

I'm not sure how she does it. She always plays it off as if it doesn't bother her. Maybe I just don't know her well enough to read between the lines of her face, but I sense actual happiness in her tone of voice. It's almost as if she's perfectly content with liking me even though my heart belongs to someone else.

"How'd you know?" I ask, deciding not to pretend otherwise.

"You're seriously the easiest person in the world to read," she tells me, scooting herself away from me so that her back is rested against the armrest.

"Well, that's not fair," I say, crossing my arms over my chest before snagging a handful of popcorn from the half-empty bowl and shoving them into my mouth to cover my smile.

"So, you still really like her, don't you?" It's a question, but it's posed as more of a statement, and I'm not sure at all how to answer her.

I take a bite of a brownie before cramming the whole thing into my mouth, my cheek bulging as I chew around it. All the while, Lynn just watches me, humored by my lack of response. I finally swallow, sending Lynn a withering look before sighing.

"Okay," I finally say, holding up my hands. "Yes. Yes, I really like her. But," I add, emphasizing the 'but', "I don't see anything happening between us. While the kiss may have been initiated by her, I don't think she has any romantic feelings for me."

"Uhhh..." Lynn just looks at me, clearly stumped by my revelation. "So, why the heck did she kiss you? Is she honestly that cruel? Does she view everything in life as a competition? Gosh, that's so sick. Dude," she sends me pleading eyes, "please stop liking her. She's bad news."

"That's not fair," I find myself defending, even though I'd had similar thoughts just moments before. "You don't even know her."

"That's true," she affirms, "but everything I have seen of her so far shows me that she's a manipulative, sneaky person who cares nothing about other people's feelings."

I can't help the rumble of fire brewing in my gut. For someone who doesn't even know Penny, she's way out of line to have such strong feelings towards her. Lynn is simply judging Penny off of the two or so times she's been around the girl, and it's irritating.

"How about you get to know her before you make such ugly assumptions," I growl, hating the heat in my words the moment they leave my lips.

"Look," she says, unfazed by my anger, "you can call me judgmental all you want, but I'm being honest. Besides, I have every right to not trust a person based on the way they act. Clarice happens to be my friend, and guess what, Penny used to be her best friend until she went behind Clarice's back with you. That's enough reason for me to not like Penny."

Everything coming out of Lynn's mouth is true. I know this. And yet, I don't care because I'm so frustrated that she thinks she knows my friends. They're my friends. Not hers. She has no right to step in and tell me that my friends are manipulative and sneaky.

"Listen here," I say, scooting to the edge of the couch and leveling a scowl at Lynn. "I have no desire to listen to the distorted ideas of two love-struck girls. Just because you and Clarice are jealous doesn't give you a right to attack her. She's never done anything to you. Besides, this is my choice too. I want Penny. Not you!"

I hate myself. Every word that leaves my lips has me hating myself more. What's worse is that, for the first time, Lynn doesn't try to hide the hurt on her face. There are no tears, but the fact that her lips have drooped in the corners has my heart drooping right along with her expression. She glances at her hands before squaring her shoulders and directing her gaze at me.

"Well," she says, clearing her throat, "I'm sorry for liking you. It was never my intention to make you think that I'd ever hate on a person simply out of jealousy." The calm in her words sends a skitter of unease up my spine. "Clearly, you don't know me the way I thought—or hoped—that you did." She cuts her gaze to the clock hanging behind us in the kitchen, and then glances back at me. "It's getting kind of late."

"Yeah," I agree, not bothering to look at the time. Instead, I drop my head into my hands and dig my fingers into my scalp. "Lynn..." her name leaves my lips on a sigh of regret. "I did not mean to say any of that."

"Well," she says with a shrug, "sometimes the deepest truths are revealed through heated words. As much as you didn't intend to say that, I highly doubt that you didn't mean it."

I just stare at her for a moment, hating the stagnant, thick feeling that seems to be pushing us apart, even as we sit motionless on her couch.

"Okay." I nod once. "Maybe we can talk about this later when we've both had some time to cool down."

"Sure." She stands, and I follow her to the front door. "Have a good night," she says, her words sincere even though the hurt hasn't relented from her expression yet.

"You too."

I glance at her for a long moment and she holds my gaze, unmoving. She's got more courage in her pinky than most people have in their entire bodies. Even when her feelings have been wounded, even when she's been humiliated, she doesn't back down or cower.

I'm the first to look away, and before I can stretch the awkwardness out any longer, I turn on my heels and take a step towards my car. It's when I hear the front door shut directly behind my back, that I realize just how detrimental my words might have been on our relationship.

It's possible I just lost someone far more important to me than I ever imagined.

---

Good grief! It's about time I update, huh? Lol 

For anyone curious, I still haven't had my baby. I'm due in a week though, so he could be coming into this world at any time. That's why I updated today. I figured it might be my last chance for a little while. 

Good news is... I've also updated on Inkitt, which means, if you would like to read the next chapter, you can find it there. The link is provided on my profile page. :D

Hope you enjoyed this one! <3