Ten woke up and tried to stretch but found himself wrapped up in strong arms. He moved slightly only to bump against Johnny's chest. The steady beat of his heart made Ten smile sleepily. He was aware that Johnny had rested his chin against his head. He closed his eyes with contentment, wanting to remember this moment, to stop time and trace this feeling onto his memory.

When last night, he had sidled back into Johnny and Taeyong's room, he'd been sure he would be kicked out.

"Psst, Johnny? Are you awake?" he had whispered.

"No," came Johnny's sleepy voice.

Ten stood on the doorway. "The couch is uncomfortable."

Johnny didn't say anything but the light from the corridor outside the room was just enough for Ten to see Johnny scoot closer to the wall, raising the bed covers. Then a low mumble, "Okay, Tennie."

Ten punched the air and rushed to Johnny's side, settling in under the covers against him.

By the time, he remembered to say good night, Johnny was already asleep but he whispered it to him anyway, just happy to be close to him.

Ten shifted so he could look at Johnny. He looked so peaceful right now. It reminded him of other days, other early mornings...a time that seemed so far away now that it felt almost unreal. Back when he had been surer, when things had seemed to be moving on a path he could see the direction of, when he had known Johnny like the palm of his hand. He missed that, he missed what they could have been.

"What changed, Johnny?" he wanted to ask. Instead, he breathed in Johnny's warmth and was grateful for this absolute trick of fate because moments like these, they had been neither very possible nor very common for the two of them in a while.

Ten frowned as he saw the slight dark circles that had appeared under Johnny's eyes. He must be working very hard. He felt guilty as he realized that dinner last night had probably eaten a chunk out of what little rest Johnny could have got. His eyes followed the wave of a stray curl that rested against Johnny's forehead. He was so beautiful.

With an almost painful jolt, he realized just how deeply he loved Johnny. He eased himself out of the tangle of Johnny's arms slowly, placing one of Johnny's usual plushies in place and got up. Jumping in shock on hearing Johnny's alarm ring, he reached for it and quickly silenced it, heart beating at the sudden noise that had startled the peaceful dawn.

It was six o'clock in the morning. Who even woke up at that time?

He looked fondly at both Johnny and Taeyong and decided they could afford another half an hour's sleep. He tip-toed out of the room, still yawning and wishing he hadn't lost his sleep so early in the morning. He must have been sitting in the kitchen for around twenty minutes—owlishly staring in the distance, sipping coffee—when a fully-dressed Jaehyun walked into the kitchen, whistling a cheery tune.

"Jaehyun-ah!" Ten exclaimed, brightening up.

Jaehyun smiled at him. "Ten! When did you come?" He hugged Ten affectionately. "How have you been?"

"Ugh," Ten said, "I have missed you and Winwin so much. I had no one to rant to. I mean, I did have Kun but he actually offers me sensible responses instead of holding my hand whilst I cry, you know? Jaehyun," he wailed, "your best friend is dying of heartbreak."

Jaehyun settled on the chair across him and held his hand, comfortingly. "What happened? I'm listening."

"Okay but wait, let's wake up Winwin because I don't have the strength to tell the whole story again."

Ten minutes later, a very irritated Winwin was sitting with the two of them still complaining at having been rudely awakened and forced to get up.

Ten showed them the painting Johnny had gifted him last night.

Jaehyun looked at it appreciatively. "This is really pretty. I don't see what you're complaining about."

"The only one who has the right to complain at this table is me," Winwin said. "I can't believe you woke me up early to gush over a painting, Ten."

Ignoring the Chinese boy, Ten turned to Jaehyun. "The gift is great and I love it—seriously, I do—but you weren't there! He basically ran out of the restaurant after giving it to me. I don't know." His voice dropped as he told them about the incident. "I feel like there's a kind of awkwardness that has come between us. It just keeps growing."

Jaehyun said, "I probably sound like a broken record right now but maybe you should tell him what you feel about him. He's your closest friend. You know you can talk it out with him. At this point, it looks like you're just scared of your feelings, Ten."

Winwin sighed. "The fact that you're admitting your feelings is a huge feat but it's not us but to him that you need to admit it to. I agree with Jaehyun on this one."

"I think it should be pretty obvious to him that I like him. I am not the shy type. I openly flirt with him. I am literally throwing myself at his feet and all I get is a nice smile—as if I am a kid showing some party trick—and that's it. Is he that oblivious? Has it occurred to you that maybe he doesn't acknowledge it because he doesn't want to?" Ten was breathing heavily, staring at his hands, waiting, hoping one of them would disagree because right now his heart needed something, anything that he could hope with.

Winwin looked at Jaehyun worriedly before speaking softly. "Ten, everyone knows you're a huge flirt but have you really not noticed that you're kind of different around Johnny? If you flirt, it's so tame that it's hilarious. You are so shy around him when the rest of the group isn't chiming in. To be honest, you seem more awestruck around him than anything else. Which is funny because you've known each other for years. With you two, it's always extremes, either you're going overboard and pretending to not take things seriously or you're both skirting around the topic, waiting for some divine intervention. You can't live your life like that and expect things to happen on their own. I am sorry I'm being so brutally honest but as your friend it's my duty to tell it like it is."

Ten blinked as the words settled down in his mind. You are kind of different around Johnny. Was he? He remembered the time they had had one of their rare vlives, just the two of them and how they'd forgotten that a whole world of people were watching them through screens—how he had let his usually snarky, sarcastic exterior melt away and laughed at Johnny's jokes and taken his pictures...and he realized. He realized why his plans to act all aloof in front of Johnny always failed, why his plan last night to make him jealous had been scrapped the minute he lay eyes on him, why there was no way, no matter how many times he rehearsed it, for him to behave as if Johnny's mere presence didn't send his heart haywire. He realized that he wasn't different around Johnny. He was the truest version of himself around him. He forgot to put up his usual walls when he was with him. He just let himself enjoy the moment when he was with him.

"I woke up beside him today," Ten said, his voice low, lips wobbling slightly, "and I was so happy. Until I realized that if he woke up, he might get all tense and awkward like he does these days. It's like whenever we get closer, whenever things seem to look up for us, he steps back. He steps away. And I can't even hold him guilty because he is always really nice and kind. He takes care of me. He looks out for me. But I know him by now. I know that sometimes when he smiles, his eyes still look sad. I keep thinking, am I pushing him into a corner? Am I making things weird? He is holding me at arm's length and it's killing me."

"Talk to him, Ten," Jaehyun said, patting his shoulder. "It gets worse the longer we hold it in. Taeyongie and I...we fought so much and over totally worthless stuff because both of us were waiting for the other to initiate a conversation that we were scared to start on our own. Too long a silence can be dangerous. It causes an unnecessary amount of pain."

Ten smiled. "You and Taeyong are made for each other. We all knew it was only a matter of time before you two started making out everywhere."

Jaehyun blushed deeply. "We don't make out everywhere."

Winwin gave him a look. "Believe me, you do."

"Ehhh."

"And don't worry, Johnny and I are never going to fight. At least I am never going to fight with him. I can't afford to." Ten leaned back, taking a deep breath. "You know why you could afford to argue with Taeyong? It's because you knew that no matter what, at the end of the day, he would come back to you. If Johnny and I fight, I know he won't come back. And I can't....I just can't afford that."

The three of them turned in the direction of the sudden sound of doors banging and running feet. Taeyong was knocking on doors and waking up everyone. "Guys, we have to leave in fifteen minutes. Get ready now."

Johnny was following him, looking guilty. "I have no idea why my alarm didn't ring. I remember checking it last night. Sorry if we get late because I didn't wake up on time to wake you up on time."

"It's okay," Taeyong could be heard saying as they entered the kitchen as the trio there hurriedly looked away so that it wouldn't seem as serious as it had been. "Happens. We'll be ready for the showcase in no time, I'm sure."

Johnny stopped short as he saw Ten on entering the kitchen. "I thought you left—"

"Nope," Ten said, interrupting him before he could go on. "Still here." He greeted Taeyong too. "I switched off Johnny's alarm. You two looked like you could do with some extra sleep. Oi, don't give me that look, Taeyong. It doesn't work on me and you look like a cutie when you try to glare. I swear, I was going to wake you two by six-thirty but I forgot because we were talking." He laughed nervously. "Sorry."

There was flurry of movement in the dorm after that, everyone rushing around to get ready. Within the estimated fifteen minutes, they were leaving, yelling goodbyes to Ten.

Johnny was the last to leave. As he stepped past Ten, he slowed down. "Ten, I—"

"C'mon, Johnny hyung!" Haechan called out. "The lift will go without you."

Ten laughed ruefully. "You have to go."

Johnny looked torn.

"Johnny hyung!?" Mark called this time.

"I'll call you," Johnny said and for a moment it looked like he was leaning forward but he stopped. "Take care. I'll see you soon. Bye, Tennie."

Ten nodded. He stayed in the same spot even after the door closed, enveloping the dorm in sudden silence. He took a deep breath. "I guess, it's time I went back to the baby dorm."

[ are you ready for johnny's backstory now? the next update will be really interesting! please look forward to it :D

thank you for reading this fic! please do leave comments about what you thought about the chapter. we would love to hear from you.

love, positive vibes and extra sleep~~ ]