Kun groaned as his phone woke him up, ringing shrilly. It had been quite a busy night and it was not even seven yet, judging by the clock in his room. He reached for his phone, wondering who wasn't letting him sleep.

"Doyoung, I'm sleeping," he said, voice hoarse.

"Kun, come over right now."

Kun sat up, hearing the serious tone of Doyoung's voice. "Is everything okay? Is it the members?"

"No, it's you. Dammit, what were you thinking, Kun?"

Kun felt a dread set in at the bottom of his heart. He immediately knew what Doyoung was talking about. He just knew. "I'm coming over."

He dressed quickly, way too quickly for someone whose mind was a whirlwind of quick thoughts and questions, thinking explanations and excuses knowing very well that it was the truth he would have to finally own up to.

He woke up Lucas. "Hey, there's an emergency. You're the designated adult until I'm back."

Lucas blinked. "Wha—Is everything okay? Is there something I can help with?"

Kun smiled at him. "Nothing I can't manage, I hope. Just take care of stuff here, okay?"

"Of course. Call me if you need anything."

"I'll get going then. Bye."

Lucas walked with him till the door and gave him a packet of chips. "Don't go hungry."

Kun waved at him and closed the door behind him.

Lucas looked around the empty living room and said to himself, "I guess, I should fix up breakfast for the kids then." He didn't really know what to make except for ramen so he woke up Jaemin who nodded, sleepily, before getting up to make some coffee, cereal and toast for everyone.

Lucas knocked on Ten's door. "Ten hyung, you didn't even have dinner. You have to eat some breakfast at least. Just let me give you a tray of food."

And even though Ten was quite awake and quite hungry, he was too miserable to face the others. So, he said a mild, "I'm not hungry."

Lucas sighed. "Okay, that's it." He turned to the dreamies. "Let's find a YouTube tutorial on how to pick locks and just..."

"Break into his room and drag him out?" Renjun's eyes lit up. Chensung cheered.

"Not drag him out exactly. A milder version maybe?"

And that was how they ended up picking the lock of Ten's room. Before Ten could even say anything, Lucas was slipping into his room after having told the kids, "Let me handle this. You all eat breakfast."

Lucas stopped after he closed the door behind him because the room was in a mess. "What happened?"

Ten was sitting on the bed, glaring at him. "How dare you break into my room?"

"Did you try redecorating?" Lucas said, gesturing at toppled over box of knickknacks, pictures and books strewn across the floor.

"Your humour is going bad," Ten said, looking away.

"I think one of your paint bottles broke," Lucas said. "Wait, I'll get a cloth to clean it." He returned with a tray of food which he deposited wordlessly beside Ten and began to clean up the room.

"Throw them away," Ten said, mournfully picking up a piece of toast.

"Your pictures and sketchbooks? Ten, I'm going to put everything in your shelves. You can sort through them later. If you really don't want your stuff, I'll put it in my cupboard until you need them."

Ten groaned. "Why are you here all kind and wise? Where is my Kun? I need to bother someone."

Lucas smiled brightly. "I'm the designated adult. Kun had to leave due to some emergency. It's not serious."

"He made you the designated adult? Excuse me, I'm elder to you."

Lucas stood straight and just looked around the room as an answer.

Ten blushed. He began eating and picked up his phone. He caught sight of his reflection and was grateful that Lucas hadn't commented anything on his appearance because his face was puffy and his eyes were bloodshot, harsh remnants of the past few hours. He unlocked his phone and even though he hadn't been expecting it, his heart dropped because there was no "good morning" message from Johnny at the usual ten past six at the crack of dawn.

He scrolled up and it saddened him because it seemed like this was the first in what seemed like forever that there wasn't a text that said, New message from Johns! (6:10 am). So, this was another thing he had taken for granted. He wondered just how many more he would find and whether it would always hurt this much. He closed his eyes and threw away his phone towards his pillow.

Lucas was grumbling. "Why did you throw your sketchbooks? And this is a record...it could have broken. Wow, I'm glad that that painting is still on the wall."

Ten glared at him. "I couldn't take it down."

It dawned on Lucas suddenly. He began to laugh. "Oh my God! You couldn't reach it, right?"

Ten ignored him, eating his breakfast, watching him clean up his room, listening to his unrelenting commentary.

"Oh," Lucas picked up a book that was lying spread-eagled on the floor, "I was thinking of asking you. Can I borrow your copy of Crime and Punishment? Since you're not readin—Oops." He looked at Ten, guiltily. "I swear, that page fell out on its own." He picked up the thin sheet of folded paper. "Phew, it's not from the book. You seriously shouldn't keep your documents just inside books like that."

Ten frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about. What document?"

Lucas opened the letter. "To, the love of my life—" He reddened. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was a personal letter."

Ten got up and walked to him. "What are you talking about?" He took the letter and his eyes widened as he read.

To, the love of my life,

This isn't really your birthday gift, you know? Well, it is. Kind of. It's part of your birthday gift. This is my copy of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I can't believe you gave me an old book for my birthday, John!" but this is a special copy! Seriously, don't laugh. I was reading this book when you dislocated your arm and I remember I felt like I would die seeing you get hurt like that. And that I wanted to kiss you so bad when the doctor set it right.

Ten gripped Lucas' arms tightly. "Where did you find this?"

"I-It fell out of the book. I swear, I didn't do anything."

Ten blinked back tears. All he could think of was no no, this can't be. How can this be? But the letter was there in his hands and he was reading it. It was Johnny's writing. He turned it over and there it was. I'll always love you. Be mine?—Your Johns. P.S. Don't you dare laugh at me for this. I will spread your ugly baby pictures online!

Ten's voice was faint as he asked Lucas, "Where's Kun? Oh god, I don't know what to do. Please call him."

"He left. He had an emergency, remember? What is it?"

Ten's hands were trembling as he flipped the letter and began to read it again. "It's Johnny...He wrote a letter and ugh, why didn't he tell me?"

I was like woah, I really like this Thai guy. No, that I knew since quite a while. I was like woah, I love Ten. I'd do anything for Ten. Whenever I read this book again or whenever I look at it, I remember that moment once again.

Oh no, this is not how this letter was supposed to start. Ugh, it was supposed to be more poetic. Just ignore what you read and think that it starts from here, okay?

Ten, I think you're a wonderful person. You make me so happy. I love traveling with you, trying out new things with you and I probably think more of you than is necessary but that's not really my fault now, is it? You're breathtaking.

Thank you for always being there for me. You made the tough times bearable and the good times magical. Do you know that you are the first thought that crosses my mind when I wake up? I hate being away from you. I like that you don't mind that I spam you with texts but hey, am I not an amazing person to talk to? Plus, I send you memes. Appreciate me, please, I'm trying to serenade a guy I like through a whole letter. Points for effort, okay?

Ten was crying. "I didn't even read it. It's been months. No wonder he...oh my god, how did he even get through these months when I have been an ignorant fool?"

"Don't cry," Lucas said, looking bewildered as he patted Ten's back.

I'll be waiting for you on the rooftop, Ten, so if you feel the same way meet me there and I promise, I'll spend my whole life treating you like the star you are.

"Oh God, he waited and I didn't go and it was all because I was upset that he gave me a book instead of something romantic like I had hoped for. I didn't even read the book. I didn't even flip through it. And all this time, I thought...I behaved so...I have been horrible to him. This is why he hates me now. I disappointed him. I hurt him. Lucas, what do I do?"

If you don't come, I'll know and I'll accept it. Ten, and I'm saying this really seriously, there's no pressure. If you don't feel the same way, know that I'll understand and we will remain best friends and I will respect your decision just like I respect you. If you're not down for taking a step further than what we are right now, I promise I will never speak of it again. I don't want this to make things weird or uncomfortable. Whatever you want, I'm okay with that. So, it's okay, okay? Either way, I'll always be your best friend.

Suddenly, things made sense to Ten. Johnny's incessant questions about his having read the book in those early weeks after Ten's birthday, Johnny changing his behaviour towards him, Johnny flinching away from his touch, from things that had become almost natural for them, Johnny retreating after doing anything even mildly resembling affection.

"He thinks I rejected him," Ten said. He picked up his phone and dialled Johnny's number. "Please pick up, please pick up. Johnny, please!" He dialled Jaehyun's number next and then, Winwin's. None of his friends were answering. It was too early, maybe. And Johnny, Johnny who woke up early was probably ignoring him by now. After everything, Ten wouldn't blame him if he was. There was only so much someone could take.

He sobbed as he remembered Johnny's words from last night. Johnny hadn't been angry or inconsiderate. He had been hurt when he had said, "Wow, Ten, you amaze me every time. I should get used to the fact that you don't—can't—understand anything about me but like to create whatever narrative you want about me. When it comes to the two of us, remember that I have been more patient while you have been insensitive. Don't you dare accuse me of thoughtlessness!"

It was all so clear now. He had been a fool.

"I messed it up. I messed up everything."

Lucas pulled him into a hug. "Stop crying so much. Drink some water and then, go to hyung's dorm."

"He won't listen to me. He'll hate me even more. Lucas, he asked me so many times about the letter but I kept on thinking he was asking me about the wretched book and I lied. I said horrible things. Turns out I made him wait on the terrace and made him feel rejected while being all friendly and...flirty with him all this time. He must have such a low opinion of me by now. I can't imagine why he still remained friends with me. I don't deserve him." Ten sniffled.

Lucas shook his head. "He loves you, remember? Of course, he'll listen to you. Things will be fine."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now, go."

And so Ten went. More like he ran because he reached the other dorm in record timing.

-

[Nearly an hour ago]

Kun rang the doorbell to the 127 dorm a bit louder than normally. It was probably the nervous energy bubbling inside him.

Taeil opened the door and greeted. "Hi, Kun. What's up?"

"Hello, hyung. I was just—"

"Oh my god, Kun hyung, guess what? I have the tea," Haechan interrupted them. "You won't believe it!"

"Haechan," Taeyong warned. "Let Kun have a seat at least."

"Actually, I came to meet Doyoung," Kun said, smiling apologetically. "Give me a sec."

"So, you know about Doyoungie hyung too?" Mark said. "The news is sure spreading quickly."

Jaehyun wondered aloud. "I still can't believe he didn't tell us."

"He used to be on the phone a lot. When I asked him why he was smiling, he always said he's watching a drama," Taeil said.

"I still can't believe he gifted him the hoodie I designed for him," Taeyong complained.

"What are you all...?" Kun asked, looking very confused.

"You don't know?" Mark asked.

"Doyoung hyung is dating a model from YG!" Haechan announced dramatically.

Kun felt the colour drain from his face. "What?"

"Yeah, see this article from Koreaboo. It's trending. And the pictures are all over Naver searches." Haechan handed him his phone.

Kun stared at the pictures of the model who was smiling at his fans at the airport. He looked at his members. "How did Doyoung get dragged in the scandal? He isn't even there. This is just Jun-Ki."

"You know Park Jun-Ki?" Taeyong asked. "How come I'm the only one who didn't know?"

"He's famous, dude. He's going to star in this amazing drama. The posters are everywhere," Taeil said.

"Guys," Kun began.

Jaehyun answered his question. "Oh well, his fans and ours put together stuff. See this hoodie he's wearing. This is the hoodie Taeyong designed and made for Doyoung during our talent show last year. See the sleeve has D-O-Y-O-U-N-G written in huge letters. I don't know what they were thinking but the fans not only got it but it spread online."

"Ya, Park Jun-Ki is a legend. When OP's friend asked him where he got the hoodie from, he said it belongs to his 'cute' boyfriend," Haechan said in admiration. "The man has got courage. No wonder Doyoung likes him."

"OP's other friend says she asked him if his boyfriend works at SM and he said, and I quote, 'yes, please cheer for his sexy ass!' Aww, this is kind of cute," Taeil said. "I mean, we all know Doyoung doesn't even have an ass. It must be true love for it to be this delusional."

"He should have told us though. To think we had to find it through the media," Taeyong said. "We would have thrown him a party!"

"Guys," Kun had been trying to squeeze into the conversation. "Guys!"

Everyone quietened down.

Kun looked at them with worry. "It's not Doyoung who is dating Jun-Ki. It's me."

"Oh shit," Mark said, before covering his mouth.

Haechan stared in shock.

Taeil whistled. "The plot thickens."

Taeyong's eyes widened as he opened and shut his mouth like a goldfish.

Jaehyun nodded slowly. "Suddenly, the 'sexy ass' comment makes sense." Taeyong slapped his arm and asked, "Wait, but how does he have Doyoung's hoodie?"

Kun sat down on the couch, misery evident on his features. "Doyoung lent it to me when we went out with Johnny and Ten once. I must have left at Jun-Ki-ya's place that night."

"Oh no, he spent the night at a YG artist's place," Haechan said. "The plot indeed thickens."

"Shut up, Haechan," Mark whispered.

"Where's Doyoung?" Kun asked. "He called me here. Why didn't he tell you guys?"

They looked at each other, unsure how to relay the news.

"Manager hyung picked him up. They left a few minutes before you came. He's probably in a disciplinary meeting with the press team as they decide what's to be done," Taeil finally supplied.

"Fuck," Kun said, dialling Doyoung's number quickly.

"Did he just—?" Taeyong asked.

"Yes, he cursed," Jaehyun confirmed.

Haechan wiped a fake tear. "Hyung is growing up."

Mark sighed. "I'm worried about Doyoungie hyung. He must be in so much trouble and imagine, he doesn't even know what's happening."

Everyone looked worried.

"You're right," Taeil said. "The management must be freaking out right now."

"I hope Doyoungie is okay," Taeyong said.

"He isn't answering calls or messages. He must be in the meeting still. I'm going there. I'll tell them it's me. I can't have him suffer because of me." Kun walked towards the door with determination.

The door opened and in stepped Doyoung looking annoyed. His expression changed when he saw Kun and the others. "Quite a party here so early in the morning?"

Kun grasped his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Doyoung smiled at him. He turned to the others. "Sorry I didn't tell you guys before—"

"Save it," Taeyong rolled his eyes. "We know you're not dating the YG guy."

"Park Jun-Ki," Haechan provided.

"Yeah, that guy."

Doyoung's eyes widened and he looked at Kun. "Wait, you told them?"

"How long have you known?" Mark asked Doyoung.

"I found out when I saw the news in the morning. My name was everywhere and to be honest, I freaked out but when I saw the pictures with the hoodie, I put two and two together. I remembered giving Kun the hoodie because he thought wearing a flimsy denim jacket at night was a great choice." Doyoung smirked. "I know, I am super smart."

"Doyoung, what did the management say?" Kun asked, still worried.

"You needn't worry about them. They asked me if I was dating Park Jun-Ki. I said yes and apologized a million times. The management told me to break up with him. Easy since we weren't dating in the first place. They are going to release a statement later that we aren't dating. I'm basically on house arrest until the foreseeable future but ha, little do they know I don't go out of my room anyway. It's all settled. You'll be fine. Just tell your stupid boyfriend to release a statement saying the same stuff and not to wear my hoodie or say weird stuff to the public in the future." He informed the others, "Oh, and we don't have any schedule today because of what they are calling my 'stunt'. We can all chill."

The others joked about Doyoung and congratulated Kun on his relationship, telling him off for keeping it under the wraps for so long, simultaneously asking him for details.

Kun looked uncomfortably guilty all along and as soon as he could, he dragged Doyoung to the latter's room. "Are you crazy? Why did you do it? This could have affected your career!"

"You're happy with him and you no doubt kept it a secret because you value your privacy. Congratulations, by the way," Doyoung said, smiling at him.

Outside the room, things were just settling down when Ten rushed into the dorm, out of breath. He didn't greet anyone, just rushed to Johnny's room.

"Where is he?" He rushed out and asked the others. "Where did he go?"

Jaehyun looked at him, worriedly. "Ten, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Jaehyun, I messed up. It's all over now," Ten said, clutching his phone as he tried once again to get in touch with Johnny.

Yuta walked down the stairs, followed by a yawning Winwin. "Johnny, your phone keeps ringing. Where are you?"

"Why do you have his phone?" Ten asked.

"It was in his hoodie that I borrowed," Yuta said, defensively.

Taeil sighed. "These hoodies can be very dangerous."

As little by little, they got filled in to the Johnten story, Winwin rubbed Ten's back comfortingly while everyone tried to find out where Johnny was.

"He's not with his Daegu cousin."

"Not with his friends."

"Not with him either."

"Did you try him?"

"He's not there too."

"Oh wait, found him."

Ten looked at Taeyong with hope. "Where is he?" His voice was hoarse from crying.

"He crashed at Sehun hyung's place for the night. Sehun said he's sleeping and he'll wake him up if it's important. What should I say?"

"Let me talk to Sehun hyung." Ten took Taeyong's phone. He came back in a few minutes and handed back the phone. "Thank you, Taeyong. I owe you."

"Just...take care of him this time," Taeyong told him.

"I hope he lets me."

"Where are you going?"

Ten replied, "I'm going to wait on the terrace."

[  so many revelations! you have to tell us what you thought of this chapter. TEN FINALLY FOUND THE LETTER! we finally know what's up with kun (or at least most of it...wait there's more?)

how many of you still ship dokun though? dokun or junkun? ;)

be ready for the next chapter because there's some more major stuff about to happen or tell us what you want to happen!

thank you so much for reading the chapter, you all are amazing.

love, positive vibes and hoodies ~~ ]