My eyes couldn't stop watering. I knew I was crying for Ryder. For his pain and loss. He showed me the new light on his dark chapter. I couldn't fathom to look at his eyes. I lunged forward and buried my face.

"I am sorry", he held me against him. I could feel his quivering chin against my shoulder. It would've been a great pain to bear and try to live a life. His girlfriend and his baby. How happy they must've been to find out the news? The fate was a cruel bitch. 

I wanted it off my chest and the fact that Papi wasn't no more made it more difficult. I wanted him to meet Ryder. I wanted to know what they would've talked about if they ever met. Would he make Ryder uncomfortable by his bluntness or just another friend. I wouldn't find out.

"Don't look at me", I covered my face with my elbow when he bend to look at me. Probably I could hit something on my way but I don't want to see him now. Everytime I looked at him, it was painful.

"You okay?", he asked when he pulled me from bumping into the wall.

"I am not okay. Just walk and don't look at me", I snapped. He expected me to be okay after what he said. More like dropped a bomb out of nowhere. If he had given me a head start that he was about to pour his heart out, I would've picked a secluded place for me cry and not worry about the weird eyes that people gave. It was his fault.

"Its ridiculous. Just take your hand and walk straight. At this rate, you are gonna break your nose"

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it. "I don't like when others see me crying"

"But I have already seen you cry", he mentioned to the time when I was almost raped. 

"And I don't want you to see again. Drop it", I said curtly

"Should I leave?"

"Yes"

"No". There were desperate times that I wanted to strangle him and this was one of those.

"You're such a douche"

I finally removed my hands in the elevator. No wonder my sleep deprived and just emptied eyes were swollen. I looked like a gollum. 

"Finally", Ryder breathed next to me and I glared at him. He didn't say a word and embraced me into his warm body. I saw myself melting for him. 

"Thank you", he said softly with a small kiss on my forehead.

"You're welcome", he chuckled and wiped my remnant tears. When I shut the door behind me , I knew he planted something in me and it started growing.

***

"Shut the fuck up, Ryder", I snapped at him for the third time in ten minutes. I was a little jittery driver and the guy beside me decided to rile me up on every speed bump.

"I never knew what fear was until now", he said looking a little tensed. If I wasn't driving, I would've laughed at his expression with those doe eyes looking every move of mine.

"It's fifteen minute drive, Ryder. If you keep doing that, I will kill you before some accident happens"

"Tempting but no". Oh, he was back to his cocky mood. It was barely night as I parked the car outside the place that helped to cope up.

"Here?"

"Yes, here. Get out"

There wasn't much of crowd considering it was Thursday and I knew their schedule more than the staff here. Ryder was dubious as he eyes the cashier and he stuck next to me until we entered the tunnel.

Any comment he was about to tell stopped as his mouth went agape when looked all the blue around with the marine kingdom waiting to awe us.

"Let me guess, you've never been here before"

He just shook his head without taking his eyes off the water. "I never actually felt like coming in. It was crappy and never saw someone visit it. I never that it was.."

"Beautiful"

I was proud. I made him speechless like utter speechless. He left me behind and started wandering in the area. He was calling me every time he looked at something new and was taking photographs of it.

"You look like a kid"

He just shrugged me off and went about other areas. I was sat on the bench before glass and waved back at the person swimming with the sharks.

Ryder wandered off somewhere while I set the food in the table. Just simple ones I excelled it. Taco balls and custard milkshake with sandwich.

"Did you see that person swimming?", he sat next to me looking at the diver.

"You look really dumb", I laughed at his childish behavior. He rolled his eyes and eyed the food on the table and looked at me. I raised an eyebrow accusingly. My date, my rules. He started taking the food without a word.

"It's good", the familiar warmth was creeping my neck but I stuffed my mouth with sandwich I made.

We sat there looking straight ahead. The diver was long gone and the fishes were swimming around to live. Now and then a shark would come around but nothing that made a sound.

"It's peaceful", I nodded.

"I found it in a week after we came here and it didn't leave me yet"

"I didn't realize that I wanted this until now. This tranquility was all I was searching for.", he reached out to my hand.

"You can always visit this place. It's open all days of the week"

My eyes went a little wide when he leaned in.

"It wasn't the place", his eyes went to my lips and to my eyes sending flare through my body.

"I wasn't playing with you when I said I like you. I still do and I don't know how but it was you. I never thought those feelings will come around but it did. The last person I thought. I'll admit that I had bad intentions at the beginning but one date was enough to prove that you were perfect for Connor but I couldn't let you go. I wanted to test you. I am sorry that you went through so much"

"Ryder", he shushed me by placing his hands on my lips and shook my head.

"It hurt me when that fuckward laid his hands on you. I really wanted to stop that time but seeing you with Connor did something to me. I started to be around you and god knows how much I enjoy teasing you", he smiled, "I felt it when we were sitting at the campfire and you were talking to that guy. I wanted to kiss you very badly and I did. You know what surprised me"

I stayed silent for him to continue.

"That it didn't feel wrong like everytime I kissed someone. And that night when I saw you scared of me it was scattering me. I wanted you to stay with me and hug me when I was scared. I wanted you to console me. I wanted you to hit me and say to get my shit together and threaten me that  you will bring your friends to castrate me. I want it all"

I was dumbfounded. Among everything I thought could happen I didn't add Ryder's detailed confession about his crush on me.

His eyes were on my eyes and I could feel his breath on me as I held mine.

"Will you date me, please?"

I nodded unable to form any words. He leaned in further as if he could without out lips touching.

"Can I kiss you?", I smiled against his lips and nodded.

He didn't waste any time. The first few uncertain kisses turned into more determined ones. He pulled me on his lap. Our lips were fighting and his hands were roaming. My mind couldn't decide on which to enjoy. I was well aware of his hands on my front but they never went up. He trailed a line of kisses to my neck and collar again to my lips.

I pushed him slightly when I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey"

"Hi"

We were both a smiling fools with a swollen lips.