"We are not just going there", I yelled as my nose flared in anger. 

"That's where exactly we are going", he said with a lopsided grin. 

"We are going to be alone and I don't want to be alone with you". 

The barn house where he was taking us was definitely not a good idea, now when there was more sexual tension between us. I wasn't worried about me giving up to him. I was worried about him forcing it on me. I never would overcome it again.

"That's the whole point", he said as he hopped out of the vehicle. It was pretty much bright as he wanted to start the 'date' early.

"I am not your hoe, Ryder", I said folding my hands infront of me.

"I never said that", he piqued and opened the door.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a minute"

I trudged my way to fridge to take the water. I extended my hands further inside where I could feel a sausage packet. 

What I didn't expect to be a small tube with white substance in it. 

Realization hit as I shouted, "Ryder!!!"

Hurried footsteps echoed through the walls, "Emily, are you okay?"

No, I wasn't because I was holding something disgusting and my body was paralyzed in shock.

"Please tell this isn't condom with ejaculation in it", I pleaded as I rose my hands. His eyes trailed to the substance in my hand. 

First it started as a small snort but as he stretched his lips and showed that pearly teeth, I knew I was doomed.

"That's a packed condom, sweetie".

 I threw the packed outside the window. Rushed to the sink and washed my hands while Ryder was ROFL.

"I am scarred. Who keeps a loaded condom in a fridge?!!", I yelled as I poured all the dish washing liquid in my hands. Maybe I was imagining it but I could see something white on my hands.

He was clenching his stomach laughing more at my pathetic state. 

"I am serious, Ryder. If you don't stop laughing I am kicking your ass", I seethed.

He held his breathe momentarily to stop laughing but to no avail. He went to the couch and laughed, like wall shaking laugh. When it simmered down, he would look at me and laugh again.

I was getting furious and disgusted by myself. I ran to the nearest bathrooms and took some handwash and washed my hands again. But how will I wash the visual images. How would I eat sausages again? Why didn't I think it was too short for a sausage?

"Emily", he called between the laugh. 

"Don't fucking talk to me, Ryder.", I pushed past him to the couch.

He plopped next to me plucking the remote from me. All I needed was a distraction and he goes and plucks it out of me.

"Give me back the remote", I seethed. He was definitely in a playful mode. He kept pushing the remote away as I tried to reach. I would move one way and he would switch hands.

I landed on him trying to tackle those arms. My eyes were on the remote that I didn't even notice I was laying on him and his hand was on my back.

"Fine", I groaned and picked my phone. I ran out of the house before my face flushed in embarrassment. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't dare to look back

Why are you acting like this with him? Don't you have self control idiot?

I reached the dock in no time. The still water and the graceful reflection of the sunset was picturesque. The birds were cooing at the distance and I prayed I don't encounter any animal though it was a nearly impossible.

I put my leg down and sat at the edge. My phone pinged.

Luke: Hope you are alive?

Me: Not gonna leave you early

Luke: Are you safe? I think he is planning on something. Have the knife with you. Who even takes a date to barn house if don't want to sleep with her?

Me: I am safe. I am holding onto the knife 

Luke: What will you do without me?

Me: Maybe be happy.

Luke: *eye roll* You wish.

I laughed as I shut the phone. 

Silence could be your best friend and a greatest enemy. I sat there thinking about my life. Why was I sitting and thinking about it in the first place? Was it all my fault? I had to save Abby. Dustin was more asshole than Ryder. Ryder was acting all cozy with and I like it. I was scared that he would hurt me and I knew he would. He said that he would and I had no doubt in that. I missed Papi.

Connor was avoiding me, not that I cared anymore. A little like that I had vanished. 

The thoughts shifted to the night when we kissed in his room. It was very wrong of me. Why was I even playing this dangerous game when I knew I would get hurt? Why did I always let him kiss me? Why was I repeating the loop. 

I wanted to stay away from him but I couldn't.

I liked them, no argument in there but it was wrong. That was a kiss of lust not love. He wanted to do those to hurt me. I was supposed to stay strong to protect my heart. I couldn't take another heartbreak.

The trail drifted to his panic attack. Hayley. His dead girlfriend whom he didn't move on with. My heart felt sorry for him. How he could talk normally when he lost the person he loved the most? Did he even lover her? It was difficult to see Ryder as a lover. Easy to picture him as arrogant, playboy and rude jerk.

Darkness engulfed the lake as I made my way to the barn house. 

The smell of potato was filled in the living room. I peeked through his room to find it empty. I walked to the kitchen and stood at the entrance. 

There he was standing in an apron shirtless and his black jeans. God, my fantasies. The hair was ruffled and a thin layer of sweat as he stirred something. As if sensing me his eyes met mine and smiled.

"What are you doing?", I asked still disgusted with my memories of the kitchen. Among the things I said I couldn't picture him with, cooking was another.

"Dinner", he replied moving to the other pan. I nodded.

"Can I help with something that involves me not entering that kitchen?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Take rest. I am almost finished"

I walked back to the couch and took my phone. Nick was ranting about Abby and even asked me how to ask her out. He had doubts that he would be rejected. If only he knew how much she wanted to be with him.

Ryder put the dishes in the table and called me. He made lasagna, mashed potatoes, fried eggs and toast. Not ideal dinner but who was I to judge. The lights flickered when thunder rumbled. 

Weather here was very capricious. One minute it was burning and another it was raining like there was no tomorrow. 

I waited for him take the first bite. Not sure if he mixed sleeping pills, happened before so blame in paranoia.

Must say, all his dishes were better than my pasta. We almost gave up on the cooking and decided to call the maid but Matt wanted to try until we complete our first year.