For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions.

– Lao Tzu

:July 27, 1995:

"What the...?  Lani!"

"What is it e ipo?  Who's there?"

At that moment, the unmistakable sound of an infant shriek pierces the still summer evening, immediately grasping Lani's attention, even as Prince remains motionless, frozen at the front door.  

She rushes up to him, and locks her arms securely around his stiff, shocked frame to give his cheek a quick peck before peeking over his shoulder only to confirm what she already knew...

A now calm looking baby girl cracks a sunny smile, and gives a happy squeal.  She starts excitedly kicking her feet at Lani's sudden appearance over Prince's shoulder as he takes a hard swallow past a lump in his throat.

He offers Lani a nervous look, forcing out a rather strangled sounding, "We didn't register for a special delivery from the stork...did we?"

"Uhhhh...not that I'm aware of," she chuckles in response, rushing around him toward the baby in a state of happy confusion; thoughts of both Ronnie and their anniversary temporarily forgotten in light of their unexpected pint sized houseguest.

A still stunned Prince silently observes Lani as her smiling face locks squarely on the infant, cooing sweetly, "Why are you so cute?" as the innocent child's giggles fill the air.

Her parenting instincts are already kicking into high gear, and for a split second he's afforded a glimpse of her mothering their own children and feels his heart swell with tenderness.  

The brief moment is only broken when she finally notices an envelope bearing both their names in stark block lettering securely taped to the side of the carrier.  

She reaches forward hastily to tug the envelope away as the baby starts to whimper over the abrupt loss of attention; her nervous, fumbling hands ripping it nearly to shreds and revealing a stark white sheet of paper.

Bewildered with the discovery, she grasps it in one hand, the baby in the other, and rushes into the house.  

She blindly pushes her way past her still shell shocked fiance, who mindlessly follows behind her into the house, closing the door behind them.  

Without another word she sets the car seat gently onto the floor before turning her attention to the paper in her hand and quickly beginning to read.  

—-

:October 16, 2020:

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell me the story of you and Papa again?"

Ronnie brushes a stray curl out of Marie's inquisitive eyes. "Didn't I tell you that just two days ago?"

Her daughter smiles a wide gummy smile that she just can't resist even if she wanted to. "Again!"

"Well, alright then."

Marie settles next to Ronnie, putting her head on her shoulder, listening intently. Ronnie takes a deep breath.

"Once upon a time, there was a Prince with a very, very big white castle. He was beloved by everyone in his noble purple land, but inside he was so very lonely. See, the Prince had everything he could ask for - endless riches, beautiful maidens, ready to ask for his hand in marriage, but one thing he did not have was true love."

"Were no maidens his true love?" Marie interrupts.

Ronnie kisses her forehead. "Well, see, he wanted to feel true love but he had never felt it before."

"What does it feel like, Mommy?"

"It's —" Ronnie closes her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "It's like that warm sweet feeling in the back of your throat when you drink really a nice cup of hot chocolate. Only, if lasts forever, every minute of every day when you're with the person you love."

Marie giggles. "Mommy! Love isn't like hot chocolate!"

"Well, that's what it feels like to me. It's different for everyone. Anyway, do you want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Yes!"

"One day, the Prince threw a big ball in his big white castle. He sat on his throne and watched everyone come and profess their love to him, and he loved everyone in his kingdom too, he did, but he was also so incredibly lonely. And then —" Ronnie leans in to whisper in Marie's ear. "Then he saw her. His princess. They say that when you see the person you're meant to love forever, you recognise them straightaway because it's like a red piece of string is binding your hearts together. Well, the Prince saw the string, the moment his eyes fell on the princess from the faraway kingdom - and he knew she was the one."

"Did the princess think so too?"

Ronnie chuckles. "Initially no. She was a bit stubborn, this princess, not your normal one. She didn't really wear a lot of pretty dresses or glass shoes and she didn't think she would ever find her Prince. But then, the Prince fought a hard battle with a big dragon to prove his love to her - and when she saw his courage and determination, she also fell in love with him."

"Mommy," Marie looks at her with a serious expression on her little face. "Dragons aren't real."

"Some dragons are. Sometimes —" Ronnie takes a deep breath. She doesn't want to cry but her throat feels pinhole tight, somehow. "Sometimes the dragons are in our own heads and we still have to fight them to be happy because they give us bad thoughts."

"Did the Prince beat the dragon?" She's getting sleepy now, it won't be long before she drifts off.

"Of course. The Prince was brave and valiant and he proved to the princess that he would slay any dragon that tried to keep them apart." Ronnie tucks Marie into the blanket gently as her eyes droop closed. "And then the Prince and the princess had a beautiful wedding and the whole kingdom was invited. And they had two beautiful daughters and lived happily ever after."

Marie's breathing is already evening out and Ronnie gently slips out of her bed. She leans in to plant a kiss on Marie's forehead and lets her lips linger for a bit longer, she's still got that tight, tight feeling in her chest that just wouldn't go away.

"Good night, pumpkin."

"G'night, Mommy."

Ronnie allows herself another minute or so looking at her daughter's sleeping, peaceful face. She's always been a dreamer, their Marie, always living in her books and fairytales. Ronnie wishes that she could give her the fairytale life she deserves, and she's trying her best, she really is, but now a new dragon has appeared and she's not really sure if she can slay that one. She's not sure if there's any point in trying.

She turns around to find Prince leaning against the doorframe of Marie's room, watching them. The smile on his face is pure bliss, Ronnie thinks, he's never looked happier than he does right now and she hates that, she hates it because it's so fragile and if she wanted to, she could put a hammer to it right now, destroy it in two words.

But she won't. Not tonight.

Instead, she smiles and puts a finger to her lips before tiptoeing out the room. Prince wraps an arm around her waist and they close the door carefully.

He pulls her in for a kiss and Ronnie melts into his  warm embrace.

"So, did I slay the dragon tonight again?"

"You did. You always do." She rubs her nose against his. She hasn't told him this, but Ronnie is actually both the princess and the dragon in this story. But that's too many metaphors to be inserting into a made up fairytale for their five year old. Maybe she'll tell Marie, when she's older.

When she's older. And Ronnie might not be.

The tears catch her unaware with that simple realisation and she can't stop herself, she can't control it. Prince's smile fades, he immediately looks concerned. There it is, the hammer that'll break him.

"Hey, mama." His hands stroke her hair, so infinitely gentle. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Just —" Ronnie sniffles, wiping at her eyes. She's about to blame it on her PMS again but instead, she says: "I can't believe I'm so lucky to have you. I can't believe you chose me."

"Honey, there wasn't much choice involved at all." He kisses her cheeks, her nose, he swallows the tears she allows herself to cry. "God brought you to me and I knew I couldn't turn His gift away. You are my blessing, Ronnie, one I've been looking for my whole life."

Why is he being like this? Why is he so nice? Why does she have to be the one to break his heart into a million pieces? It's not fair.

"You hopeless romantic," she chuckles, it's slightly choked but it's there. He smiles.

"Hopeless romantic's my middle name. Now, are you ready for your bubble bath? You're getting spoiled tonight, mommy."

Ronnie nods, still shaky but smiling. It can wait another day, she thinks. She can't tell him today, not when he's put so much thought and care into their evening. For one day, she can pretend that fairytales are real and happily ever after does come true.

"Lead the way, my sweet Prince."

He scoops her up in his arms and kisses her forehead. "Only the best for my princess."

--

:1995:

Combined with Violet's sudden, unexpected arrival, the contents of the letter were sparse, but laced with meaning.  

--

Hi!  My name is Violet.  My mama tells me I'm the best baby in the whole wide world, and that she loves me very much.  

She says that it's because she loves me that she has to do something that no mama should ever have to do...

I don't really know what she meant by that.  All I know is the last time I saw her, she was crying.

She told me she loved me more than ever, but to be a good girl for my new mama & papa before kissing me gently on the cheek.  

The next thing I knew, she was gone...

Will you be my new mama and papa...please?

--

Whoever dropped her off was entrusting them with their sweet little baby, knowing intuitively they were up to the challenge.  A few frantic phone calls and a sleepless night later, they were granted temporary custody and became instant parents to a roughly one month old baby girl. What an anniversary gift!

Once the shock had finally worn off, Prince went off into overindulgent, papa mode...ordering enough baby supplies to fill a nursery fit for a princess.

Meanwhile Lani quickly embraced the role of motherhood with enthusiasm, ensuring Violet had a full belly before dropping her softly sleeping form into her recently delivered crib for an overdue night's rest before her and her fiance enjoyed a much more private, albeit slightly delayed, anniversary celebration.

A quick early morning phone call into work ensured Lani the next few weeks off of work, allowing them both time to settle into their new life as a family.

--

Quietly singing "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World", P strolls out of the nursery with a groggy Violet in tow.  

Lani's busy getting everything ready to take her to her first doctor's appointment, so he quickly gets the baby dressed and fed.

With that task done, he prepares to hand her off when suddenly his nose crinkles up in disgust.

Making eye contact with the drowsy baby in his arms, he gives her a mock dirty look as her tiny giggles fill the air. "Ewww...you stink!"

"Well Daddy...welcome to one of the less glamorous aspects of parenthood...the diaper change." Lani replies with a laugh over her shoulder.

He makes quick work of changing her as Lani finishes putting together a diaper bag for the outing and before you know it, her and Violet are ready to go.  P gives both his girls a quick kiss, and they're on their way.

Lani is simply told to meet the on call pediatrician in office #4 due to the last minute nature of Violet's appointment and rushes off down the hall eager to get a clean bill of health for the baby. 

Finding room 4, she walks in with the baby only to be overcome with a sudden dizzy spell causing her to collapse into the nearest chair, clutching Violet tightly in her arms.

:2020:

The spell passes as quickly as it came as Lani hears a familiar female voice echoing across the room.  "Are you alright, ma'am?"

Lani offers her a weak nod, making eye contact long enough to recognize the face of the woman she'd met briefly just the afternoon before.  "Ronnie...?"

—

It's her. It's the nurse from the cancer clinic, she's holding a baby in her arms and she's looking right at her and for a moment Ronnie thinks she's entered some crazy universe where she just keeps bumping into this woman for no specific reason.

Deciding to do her good samaritan duty for the month, she'd agreed to cover paediatrics today because Doctor Tomlinson had called in sick. Ronnie knows very well that doctors don't call in sick just for nothing, so she's more than happy to help, hoping that one day someone will return the favour to her.

Now, she's frozen for a moment because she's not exactly sure how to react. Lani's pale face regains some of its colour and with it, Ronnie regains some of her bearings as well.

"Oh, Iolani. Lani, right?" Ronnie sits down on the chair next to her. She's holding a baby,a tiny, tiny baby, that's awake and alert, looking at Ronnie with her big eyes. "You feeling okay? And who's this?"

"Sorry. I just felt dizzy for a second there." Lani shakes her head. "This is little Violet. I didn't — know you worked here."

"Yes, well. Not normally. Covering for someone." Ronnie doesn't know how to address the awkward air between them. Lani had seen her have a breakdown after all and now here she is, expecting her to help her baby. "If you want to ask for someone else, I can find —"

"No! No, don't be silly. It's fine. I was just surprised to see you." Lani chuckles and some of the tension  in the air disappears. "It's just. Well, funny how we seem to keep bumping into each other, right?"

Ronnie can't help but smile back at her. There's something about Lani that just puts her at ease and it's not really possible to be awkward around her. She must be really, really good at her job.

Which reminds Ronnie she should probably do hers. "Right. What can I do for you today?"

"Well." Lani gently strokes the baby's face. "My fiancé and I were presented with a bit of a surprise a few days ago. This little angel was dropped on our doorstep with a note and nothing else."

Ronnie's jaw nearly drops. "Really?"

"Yeah. I can't believe it still." Lani shakes her head. "There was no date of birth or anything, but I'd put her at about a month old."

"I think you're right. She's a tiny, tiny lady." Ronnie pinches the baby's foot and she giggles, her big eyes looking at her. "So I guess you want her checked out?"

"Yeah. Blood tests and everything else you can think of really. Sorry I'm throwing you in the deep end here, we just ... don't really know anything."

"That's okay." She puts a hand on Lani's shoulder. "Trust me, it's a welcome change from dislodging toys from ear canals all day long."

Lani laughs. "Why do kids put things up their ears?"

"God, I wish I knew. Oddly enough my three year old doesn't know either."

There's a flash of something in Lani's eyes when Ronnie mentions her daughter, a flash of memory from yesterday, a flash of an unasked question: did you tell them? Ronnie clears her throat.

"Right. Let's have a look at this princess, shall we?"

Just as she's getting the scales out, a young nurse walks into the room without knocking.

"Dr. Nelson, it's —" she pauses when she sees Lani. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know there was anyone in here with you."

"That's okay, Pauline. I'll catch you in a bit, yeah?"

"Okay. Really sorry." She gives Lani an awkward smile and skittles out, closing the door behind her.

Lani's smiling as if at her own private joke. "Your surname is Nelson?"

There it comes. The question. "Yes. Yes, it's — my husband's surname."

Oddly enough, Lani doesn't ask The Question, she just keeps smiling. Ronnie decides to leave the remark there, as Lani doesn't pick it up. Instead, they get ready to weigh the baby. She barely fusses at all and Ronnie finds her voice go into her "baby voice" easier than she'd imagined. Violet reminds her a lot of Leah when she was a baby - always smiling and gurgling gently, wanting to make friends with the whole world.

"There we go! Oh, isn't she just perfect!" Ronnie smiles. "I do reckon she's about a month old. Heart and lungs sound perfect. Weight is also good. I'll just get some blood samples and get these sent over for some tests but for now everything seems in order, Lani. You've got yourself a healthy wee baby."

Ronnie makes a face at the baby and she giggles, her fluffy hand reaching out to touch her nose. She feels a sting in her heart, she remembers Leah being this small very clearly - even smaller, as she was technically a few weeks premature - and most importantly, she remembers Prince's face when she'd smiled at him for the first time.

She'll never, ever be able to give this to him ever again.

"Ronnie?"

Lani's voice breaks her away from her momentary stupor. "Yes. Sorry, just got caught up reading this file." She hadn't. "Now, Lani, want to hold baby Violet still while I give her a wee poke?"

Lani nods and picks up the baby and she, in her precise baby way, knows that something is coming. Her face contorts and she lets out a tiny wail.

"Oh, no, no, baby Violet," I shush her rubbing her back. "It's just a tiny pinch honey, see? Mommy's gonna hold you, sweetie."

Something twitches on Lani's face when Ronnie says "mommy" and she chides herself for not even thinking about it. Sometimes she really does have her foot in her mouth.

With some effort, Ronnie manages to draw two blood samples. "There we go. That's a good girl. We're all done here." She goes to label and pack the samples in two tubes. "You should get the results of these in a few weeks, Lani. But by the looks of it, she's all okay. Do you have anything you'd like to ask me?"

--

"I've got a couple things," Lani asks nervously, fiddling with the rings on her fingers.

"Okay..." Ronnie shakily asks, as Lani's anxiety rubs off on her.

"Violet seems to be having problems with the formula we've been trying her on..." she continues with a concerned expression on her face as her eyes drop to the now sleeping baby in the stroller.  

"What kind of problems?" Ronnie inquires, re-establishing a professional tone.  

"She seems really gassy and her little belly gets so hard..." she replies, clearly troubled.  

"It sounds like she might be having some problems with the lactose you find in most formulas. My youngest daughter, Leah, had a similar problem when she was a baby," she offers in a motherly tone with a faraway look in her eyes.  

"As soon as we switched her over to Similac Pro-Sensitive, she was back to normal in a matter of hours," she finishes, giving Lani a conspiratorial wink.  

"Similac Pro-Sensitive eh?"  Lani asks with a puzzled look. "Never heard of it."

"You should be able to find it in most stores," Ronnie advises.  "If you don't see it, just ask someone."

"I'll have to remember that.  Thanks."

"From one mother to another, try not to worry so much.  By the looks of wee Violet here, I'd say you and your fiance are doing just fine," she finishes gently, her gaze falling to a contentedly sleeping Violet with a wistful expression.  

"Thank you," Lani replies softly, meeting Ronnie's eyes with a sigh of relief.  "I really needed to hear that today."

"Anytime," Ronnie replies with a brief smile, before her eyes start shifting nervously as she asks, "Anything else?"

The air starts to feel uncomfortable with the silence surrounding Lani's final unspoken question. The two women are not quite able to meet each other's eyes...until Lani's almost inaudible response fills the air.  "Just one..."

"Go on," Ronnie urges shakily, and Lani's unsure what to make of her sudden reticence but marches forward nonetheless.  

"Have you told your husband about yesterday?" she asks as she meets Ronnie's gaze head on with an unmistakable look of concern.  

At first Ronnie's not sure to respond, a somber energy causing her body to slump in defeat with a silent shake of her head...followed by a broken sounding, "I can't..."

"Why not?" Lani asks tenderly, meeting her eyes with shining turquoise orbs swimming with sincerity, support, and everything left unsaid between them.  

"We've already been through so much," Ronnie responds tearfully, pleading for understanding.  "We're finally happy. I just can't do that to him...to us."

"Let me tell you something I learned the hard way," Lani replies sagely, delving into a difficult moment from her own past in an attempt to help her new friend.  "When my fiance and I were first getting to know each other, he decided it would be better to hide some things about his past from me in a misguided effort to protect me.  His secrecy almost cost us our relationship, and the happiness we'd just found with each other," she continues with a frown, slowly pulling her belongings together in preparation to head home.  

"Luckily the truth came out just in time, but it could've easily gone the other way.  Please don't make the same mistake, Ronnie. Tell him. He deserves to know, to be there for you. Don't rob him of that chance. You'll regret it forever if you do," she finishes with gentle firmness, meeting Ronnie's gaze with a wisdom seemingly far beyond her years.

Ready to head back home to where her fiance is anxiously awaiting their return, Lani slowly wheels a sleepy Violet toward the exit, but she doesn't leave without attempting to bring some professionalism and lightness back into the moment.  "So Similac Pro-Sensitive?"

"Yeah...Similac Pro-Sensitive," Ronnie chokes out to Lani's parting form.  

Once Lani has cleared the office door, a distressed and distracted Ronnie rushes toward the vials she'd filled with Violet's blood mere moments ago.  She's got a lot to think about, and she's not quite sure what to do with Lani's advice.

Rather than try dealing with it right now, she starts preparing to send the samples for transport only to realize at the last minute that there's a problem. The blood is gone.