Crys' POV

After relaxing under the warm water of the shower to soothe my aching muscles, I clean my room up and sort my clothes out. I end up spending a couple of hours down in the laundry room because of how long I had put it off.

It's quite impressive I had any clean undies, really.

Finally finished with my room, I flop backwards onto the bed and look at the ceiling. Turning to see that the time getting closer to when I start work, so I decide I better get ready or I'll end up running late. We can wear pretty much anything, as long as it's black. We have name tags to identify us as staff, so that makes it easier to work with.

I decide I'm going to wear something sexier for once, since I'm back to my normal coloured skin tone. I need this a bit for my self esteem too, if I'm really honest with myself. Sometimes you just need to dress up, to make yourself feel good when you look in the mirror.

After nearly pulling everything out of my wardrobe, I settle for a black halter top, it has silk lace up between my breasts and shows a few inches on my tummy. I pair it with some low riding faded black jeans and ballet flats.

As I'm reapplying my eyeliner, someone knocks on my bedroom door. After yelling out "come in," James walks in and sits on my bed, his fingers fiddling together and head down cast.

"How's it going Crys?" He says after a moment, scrunching his face at my outfit.

Brothers.

"Good, good. Just getting ready for work. Is there something you needed?" I probe, while pulling a funny face as I do my mascara.

"I- uhh, just wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier. I'm guessing you heard bits of what was said?" James finally questions.

"Yep." Popping the 'p'.

"I think something happened at home for Harv. He really is a nice guy, sis. Please give him a bit of time. For me?" He says with a hint of pleading in his tone.

"It's fine James. Really. It's his home, he has every right to be annoyed about not being spoken to about this. You two should have said something." I tell him truthfully, pointing my finger at him and raising a brow. Had I known he was never told, I'd have made them.

He sighs while nodding his head. Saying goodbye and to be safe at work, he leaves me to finish getting ready. I hadn't run into Harv again during the day but maybe that's a good thing.

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Seeing the familiar neon light of the The Karaoke Klub, [Made up] I clock in and I let Dave know I'm here. Clipping my name tag on, I walk behind the bar.

Seeing one of my only friends, Scarlet, I go join her in setting up for the night. Her red hair is tied into a tight ponytail, while rocking a tight cocktail dress. She is the one who enforced dressing to make yourself feel good.

In the short few months I've known her, she's done so much for me. At work she could see I was closed off, but refused to let me wallow for long. That's what I love, she looks out for her friends.

~~~~~~~~~~ Memory ~~~~~~~~~

"Come on. We have the night off tomorrow. Join me here and we'll sing til we lose our voices." She nudges me with an excited smile.

And it rubbed off on me. 

"And probably our jobs Scarlett." I say with a small chuckle, hoping my pathetic excuse will put her off.

Of course, nothing can.

"Nah, Dave loves us too much. Please Crys! You've been here for a month and all you do is work or go to the gym. You've never even hung out with me outside of work. Live a little!" She fake pouts at me, while batting her long lashes.

~~~~~~~~End of Memory~~~~~~~~

"Live a little"

That was what changed my mind, as silly as it sounds. I realized that I was still hiding myself as much as I could.

So we spent the next night at work and had a couple of drinks. We sang til our throats were sore and it was one of the best night I'd had in months, if not longer.

She truly did more for me than she realises. Being reminded of what's
classified as normal, makes all of this easier for me.

Though during the night, Dave heard my singing. He said I'm now obligated to help out with getting people revved up. Basically, we have a few people who sing to motivate the crowd. The workers who don't sound like banshees have fun with it. Those who can get the most tips for example.

I always enjoyed singing, I can go into my little own world. It used to be a great way to drown out every stress I had too. Plus I quite enjoy doing it at work, people get really into it.

Since him, I closed myself off to people. It's not that I'm scared of them, I just don't want open up to others yet.

Scarlet is one of my only friends really and even with her, I have walls up. I keep James and Jeremy in the dark too, not wanting to give them reason to worry.

At work the environment is always so friendly and cheerful that I can enjoy being myself.

"$10, I make more tips tonight?" Scarlet chirps while bumping her hip to mine.

"You're on. I'm feeling on top of the world tonight." I chuckle.

We do these little bets to make a night interesting, it's never much money because we know we need it. But it definitely makes it fun for us.

Now an hour into my shift and the music machine's currently playing chart songs, for those on the dance floor up front. It does that automatically if no one has selected a song. We have a hen's night in one area and they look to be in a perky mood. The laughter from them is bouncing off the walls.

I watch Dave saunter over with a charming smile directed at me.

"Can you help get people started, Crystal?" Dave asks with pleading eyes and his bottom lip pouting.

He might be the boss but he may as well be a child in adult form. He's got a flirtatious nature about him but he knows when to stop.

"Fine... I'll help but you have to take my spot at the bar." I smile like a cheshire cat at him.

After he nods, like he wouldn't have done that anyway, I head over to the stage. Flicking through the songs I like, I decide on Roar by Katy Perry.

"Hey everyone!" I say loudly. "Who's going to show they're the best of their friends tonight?" I ask, once their attention is on me.

Hearing people shout "Me" and "Woo" while taunting their friends. I knew they were at least paying attention. The bride-to-be clearly teased to sing tonight.

As the song starts up, everyone in the room zones out. I release a slow breath and the fine hair in my arms prickle from excitement.

"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath,

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess,

So I sat quietly, agreed politely"

Silently in my head I'm singing this to him, shouting that I'm still here and he won't break me. Even if I know that I still have a lot of healing to do. Each word is sung with a smile on my face.

"You held me down, but I got up

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now"

All my pent up energy is being released as I put everything into singing. It's a similar feeling to when you shout or scream, but for me singing is my release. You can make it passionate and thrilling to hear, while being as loud or quiet as you like.

"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar!"

As the song finishes, my chest is heaving up and down, while I slow my breathing. I'm greeted with hoots and cheers. Feeling 100 times lighter, I smile widely before addressing the crowd.

"So, who's next?!" I ask excitedly, to hopefully keep the mood going.

As I see the bride-to-be being nudged up, I encourage a few of her friends to join her by waving them over. As they get to the stage, I select Bang Bang by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj for them.

Handing them the microphone, I head back to the bar to keep working. Dave sits their grinning at me. He always does this too, he can sense days that I need to just let it all out. I feel 100 times lighter.

"Thank you Crystal. You always give them a good show. I suspect that bride will be on stage a lot tonight." He chuckles.

"Yeah, if not, her bridesmaids." I chuckle with him, before going back to working.

After a few hours, I notice Harv at the end of the bar. I don't remember him coming in, though I decide that I need to act my age. It's the least I can do for my brothers.

"Hey Harv. What can I get for you?" I ask with a smile.

He raises his head slowly, surprise clear on his face at seeing me here. He studies me for a moment with those chocolate eyes, before muttering "a beer."

"So, do you usually drink alone or just a really rough day?" I pry, hoping to at least spark some kind of conversation.

"Don't make a habit it of it, but yeah, I guess you could say a rough day." He mutters bitterly.

"I'm sorry." I say before looking at my wringing fingers. "If I bother you that much I can look for somewhere else to live." I say lowly. I didn't think I'd make him that unhappy in one day.

"What? No. I didn't mean because of you." He clarifies quickly, while shaking his head. "Just feels like I wasted my entire break, I guess." He mutters at the end.

Relief floods over me, knowing I'm not the problem. I decide to leave him be for a bit. He seems to want to drink alone tonight.

A couple of hours later and my shift is nearly over, finally. I decide to check on Harv, having decided my presence was most likely unwelcome earlier.

"How's it going?" I casually ask, sliding along the bar to him.

"Good besides drinking by myself, your brothers ditched me to get laid the moment we walked in." He slurs slightly.

"Yeah, that sounds like them. But I can keep you company, if you like?" I offer, hoping I sound confident.

He looks up and just stares at me, his chocolate brown eyes piercing into my soul. After a moment he gives me a small genuine smile. It just shows his face was meant to smile more than it has been lately.

What happened to stop his smile?

"Look, I'm really sorry about how I behaved earlier. This bad mood is just seeping into everything, I guess. Please don't take it personally and I'd like it if we could maybe start over?" He asks me, holding a hand out to me.

Well this is unexpected.

It's what I wanted, right?
No fear or anxiety where I live.

At least I might make a new friend, dating is out of the question plus he has a girlfriend. I have too much baggage still, so with that thought I welcome the first step to making a new friend.

"I'd like that, very much actually." I smile back at him and shake his hand.

As he returns it, Dave comes over and tells me I can go home for the night. Thank goodness! I'm really needing my comfy bed.

"Well, if you're done, want to join me in a cab home?" Harv asks. It takes me a moment to realise he's serious and perhaps not as drunk as I thought.

"Sure, let me grab my stuff and we'll go." I say with a small smile.

I can feel my anxiety grow slightly but I try my best to remember that if the twins trust him, I can too. So with that settled, I grab my valuables from the safe behind the counter and head home with Harv.

What could go wrong?

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Edited 07/06/2018  

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