Please bare with me for this chapter!
I promise it has purpose!

Crys' POV

It's been a month since I was informed about Michael escaping from prison, and a month of my anxiety not letting me relax for more than an hour or so. It feels as if he could leave me alone for the rest of my life, and I would live in fear for all of it, because the unknown is doing more harm than anything else. 

At our place, we have made it more secure with a deadbolt on the front door, as well as heavy duty chain locks on all the other doors. I also have an app on my phone that also will send out an SOS message to people I need it to go to, and to top it off, we have got some pepper spray hidden in the house too.

It's helped me feel a bit safer, but I guess knowing he is out in the world makes it a bit harder to cope with.

We're back at college, and luckily it has turned out to be a fairly nice day today. I have always been a firm believer that the weather can affect your mood more than people realise. So a touch of sun is making all the difference to me today, my anxiety has lessened, and my mood is significantly better.

I want to go talk to my teacher after class today, about how I have been feeling lately. Hopefully, he can help me put my mind at ease, or at least help me with how to cope. I still see him on a fortnightly basis, but I wanted to see if I could handle this without him, accepting that I can't has been hard. 

I was going out with Harv after classes finished, as a way to finally spend some time just the two of us, but Professor Bruce only has twenty minutes to spare after his class finishes. So I'm on my way to find Harv and see if he wants to join me or meet us afterwards, as I don't mind him being there with me. 

He has been incredible throughout all of this. 

The day I got that phone call from Mr Smith, Harv barely left my side. He later told me about how scared he was when he saw me passed out of the bed, and that he won't let Michael get me if he can help it. Ever since, he has been by my side, or nearby, even if he knows he's sending me a little bonkers. 

More than anything else though, he has been making sure I am happy or laughing. Even if we're just laying in bed talking about random crap, I feel like he has taken such a load off of my shoulders just by being his quirky self. 

Every moment with him makes me wonder if this is what love is supposed to feel like, is that what I'm feeling for him right now?

What I had with Travis may have been love at the start, but it got manipulated into something worse. Comparing the two, though I hate to do so, I can see what I had before isn't the same thing as what I have with Harv. 

Harv makes me smile and laugh, but he also has sent me a bit nutty at times. Even when he has annoyed me beyond belief though, we've never gone to bed angry. The two months I have spent with him have shown me what a relationship should be, and after knowing him for six months, I can honestly say he is one of those genuinely amazing people you're lucky to meet in life. 

Perhaps this really is love, though that kind of terrifies me. 

What if Michael comes here, and hurts Harv? I've had this fear for the entire month, along with what if he hurts the twins? Or Scarlet? Or any of our friends really.

The sun darkening snaps me from my thoughts, sadly looking like our clear day might be coming to an end. Speeding up to meet up with Harv outside where his class building is, I can't help but feel as if I have eyes on me again. Looking around though, I can't see anyone that seems suspicious staring at me. 

This has happened a lot lately, and when I did mention this to Professor Bruce, he said "you are likely to feel paranoid, given the circumstances. But it doesn't mean that someone is watching you all the time, if you are worried about it though, keep the pepper spray handy." 

I've not once seen someone, so I took his advice and kept a pepper spray in my handbag, as well as a few other things that might help if I need them. The twins have laughed at the things I put in there though, saying it explains some of the mystery behind a woman's handbag. But really, having a pen or hair spray in my hand bag is going to be more help than having nothing at all. 

Finally the building comes into sight, as I check the time to see that his class has probably been out for a few minutes at this point. Thankfully, it doesn't look like it'll rain quite yet either. Heading towards the double doors that lead into the building, I see Harv's familiar head of smooth brown hair near the doors.

Though what I wasn't expecting to see, was him pressed into the brick wall beside the doorway with a blonde woman pressed against him.

The kiss they are clearly sharing is like a stab to my heart. What must be a mere second, feels like an eternity as my heart shatters and tears fill my eyes.

With everything that has been happening lately, did I really not notice the affair he was having? 

Was I so blinded by the illusion of happiness, that I remained ignorant to the signs?

Or was this the first time it happened?

Who is it he's even kissing?

As I'm about to turn around and leave, Harvey roughly shoves the blonde off of him. The anger is clear as day on his face, until his eyes land on my shaking form and they turn to guilt and panic. 

The blonde turns in my direction with an evil smirk on face, before she runs her tongue over her pink lips. The moment she is facing me, I realise it's Chloe standing before me looking so victorious, I feel like someone just slapped me in the face. Hard.

My emotions are running rampant as my frazzled mind tries to process all of this, before Harvey's quick strides reach me I hold my hand up to stop him. The panic on his face just adds to the hurt though. Alongside her satisfied smile, I feel myself finally snap.

I can't do this.

I needed my boyfriend, I needed my best friend. I needed Harv.

And now I need to be as far away from him as possible.

Walking past Harvey without so much as a glance, I stride straight for the smug looking cake that has just single-handedly shattered my world. I can faintly hear Harvey calling my name, but the anger starts to feel more dominant in my system the hurt. 

So I ignore his words, reaching for the shirt of this sad excuse for a human being. As I clutch it in my shaking fist, I see fear cross her eyes for a moment.

That is until she sees the tears streaming down my cheeks, then her expression seems to morph into some form of sick satisfaction. 

"You're a heartless bitch." I growl out, feeling more of me break as I see the kiss repeat over and over again in my head. "I hope it was worth it." I almost sob out.

Pulling my arm back, I release straight onto her nose with as much strength as I can muster up. The gushing red of blood that follows brings me a trivial amount of satisfaction, releasing her shirt as she screams at me.

"You bitch!" 

"Like I said, I hope it was worth it." I remind her sadly, walking away from Chloe, and ignoring the pain in Harvey's pleas as he follows behind me.

"Crys, stop!" 

"Wait up, please!" 

I feel my legs start to move faster and faster until I'm practically running, needing to create as much distance between us. 

"Please, would you just talk to me?!" He shouts, his voice slowly getting closer as I run away from the college.

I feel as if someone has just stabbed my directly in the heart, nothing Michael could do to me at this point would hurt more than this. 

A warm hand grabs my arm, pulling me to a sudden stop as I'm about to cross a road. 

"Don't touch me!" I loudly order, pulling my arm free of his grip despite his hurt expression.

"Would you at least talk to me, please!" He begs, his voice cracking at the end. 

Looking up to meet his face, I'm surprised to see his expression panicked and eyes filled with unshed tears. The desperation in his voice compels me to at least hear him out, but once we're done, I need to create as much distance as possible. 

"Fine, talk." I mumble, looking down at my entwined fingers. I can't risk getting lost in those chocolate pools, or running into his arms for the comfort I so desperately want. 

"I know this sounds cliche, but I swear it wasn't what it looked like." He starts, my head jolting up to meet his gaze.

"Really? That's what you're going with?" I give him a dry laugh, feeling like this is such a waste.

"It's the truth, Crys! I was waiting for you when she came over to me. I tried to tell her to get lost, and she started rambling about how sorry she was for how things ended between us and wanting to make amends."

"Oh yeah? And how did it turn from a conversation to a make out session?" I ask, my angry tears flowing again at the thought.

"I don't know!" He yells, shoving his hands into his hair, pulling slightly. "I told her I that forgive her, but I was happy being with you. She asked where you were, and after I told her you'd be here any moment, she pushed my into the wall and started kissing me." He desperately tells me, a tear breaking free and flowing down his face.

"I swear as soon as the shock of it all broke, I shoved her off of me! I would never do this to you on purpose, I swear it." He pleads, stepping closer to me slightly.

I replay it all over and over in my mind. Her smile after she saw me there, the way the kiss broke apart, the desperation and grief over his face at the moment. His face just tears me up inside, seeing him hurting like this, and I can't do anything to make him feel better without putting myself second. 

"How can I believe you, when the image of you and her kissing is branded into my mind?" I whisper, my lip trembling at the memory.

"Crys, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? I would never do that to you. I can't stand Chloe anymore, fuck, I haven't even given her a single thought in the last two months." He tells me, taking another step forward. 

I want to walk backwards, but Harv has always been my source of comfort. What do I do now that I don't think I'll be able to go to him for it?

"Do you have any idea what it's like to see the person you're dating, kissing his ex? That image is just burned into my mind at the moment Harvey." I quietly explain to him, not being able to meet his eyes.

I hear a quick intake of breath, causing me to look up at him for a moment. Seeing the utterly broken look on his face, I quickly look back down. As gutless as it is, I can't stand to see him looking so sad. I want to hate him and scream at him, but a part of me knows he is most likely telling the truth too. 

He has never given me a reason to doubt him, but it also doesn't stop the pain in my heart. Looking back up at him slowly, I can see the truth in his eyes and I want to just run into his arms and say it will all be okay. 

But I can't yet.

"Harv, I just need some time. I think I believe you, but it just keeps repeating over and over in my mind. Can we just have some space from each other?" I try to reason with him.

"Are you leaving me?" He whispers in such a small voice, my heart crumbles that little bit more.

"No... I don't want to lose you Harv, but I need time to just process all of this. My mind has so much running through it, I can't figure out what I'm thinking or believing right now." I truthfully explain, a tear escaping down my face.

His warm hand slowly comes up to my cheek, wiping away the gentle stream of my pain. I subconsciously lean into his touch, the comfort it still provides is so desperately needed at the moment. 

I want to tell him that it's all okay, go home, and watch a movie together. 

But I can't right now. I need to at least talk to Scarlet, I need time to work through my thoughts that haven't stopped yet. And I'm not going to be able to do any of that without some time apart from each other. 

"I can't lose you, Crys. All I want right now is to hold you close and tell you I'm sorry, because I am. I'm so incredibly sorry." He whispers, his voice breaking.

"You haven't lost me yet, but how do I know you wouldn't run back into her arms after everything?" I ask, my biggest insecurity coming forward. 

"Crys..." His other hand moves up to hold my face up to his. "I would never do something to purposefully hurt you, I can't even begin to tell you how hard I'm stopping myself from holding you to me and asking for your forgiveness until I lose my voice. What I feel for you is so much more than I ever had with her, I wouldn't throw that away so carelessly." He leans his head gently on mine, making my eyes flutter closed.

"Take as long as you need, but please believe me when I say I would never cheat on you. I hate Chloe for what she might have just cost me." He croaks out, looking up to see another tear stream down his face.

Without giving it any thought, I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. He's only stunned for a moment before his arms hold me close to him. I take the moment to soak up to comfort his embrace offers, bask in the scent on his clothes, and just enjoy the last hug I might have for a while.

Pulling back from his hold, I see tear tracks down his face. Reaching up to wipe them away without thinking, as he places his hand over mine and leans into my touch. I watch how much he's clinging to the last moments of contact we will have for now. 

Surely he's telling the truth.

"Thank you for understanding, Harv. I'll tell my brothers that I'm just staying with Scarlet. Don't let them give you shit, okay?" I whisper, taking a step away from him.

His small nod is the only sign he heard me. Pulling my hand away from his face, his hand reluctant to let go as I whisper 'goodbye,' walking in the direction of my friends house.

All I can think right now, is I must be the biggest piece of shit right now if I really do believe his words. 

As I cross the road towards Scarlet's house, the first few drops start to fall from the sky.

The weather quickly suits my mood, as it gets heavier with each step I take away from the man I'm falling in love with. 

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Okay, I'm sorry! 

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