Harv's POV

Watching as Crys walks away from me while the pouring rain comes down on us, and not going after her is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. 

I don't understand how today turned so horribly wrong. We were going to go out on a date together, and before we even could meet up, things completely turned to shit. I don't even know where we stand right now, this wait alone is going to kill me. 

Is she going to leave me now?

I can't lose her. 

Walking slowly home in the heavy rain, I let it soak into my hair and clothes until I'm a shivering mess. Replaying what happened over and over in my head, today was going pretty well before talking with Chloe.

I should have found it suspicious, but I was seeing the good person that she used to be before all the drama. It's hard for people to believe but she used to be a rather nice and caring person to others. So when she said she wanted to make amends and move forward, I accepted blindly. Stupidly.

As soon as she found out Crys was meeting up with me though, she was so quick to shove me against the brick wall hard enough that I was dizzy for a moment, and I'm pretty sure I have a small lump on my head now too.

The shock of it all caused my brain to take a moment to catch up on what was going on. Sadly Chloe got what she wanted in that moment too, shoving her off me in time to see the betrayed and hurt look cross Crys' face as stared back at me in shock. 

I will never forget the look on her face.

As great as it was to watch her walk up to Chloe and punch her square in the face for what she had done, the pain in her trembling voice cut me deep. 

I've had silent tears occasionally dripping down my face the entire walk home mixing with the rain, the pain from all of this an unimaginable weight pressing down on me. I know she is feeling worse and as much as I want to be there for her, I can't.

Today I'm the source of her pain.

Had I ever seen her kissing another man, I'd likely have beaten him to a bloody pulp and left without hearing another word from her. 

She has to know that I'd never want to hurt her this way though. Chloe and I broken up because she had cheated on me, surely Crys knows I would never want to cause anyone that kind of pain after knowing how much it hurt.

Unlocking the front door, I walk in to see the twins hanging up James' mobile phone. A confused look on their matching faces shows that they have likely just got off the phone to her.

I want to just go to my room and stay there until she decides to talk to me again though. I don't feel like getting lectured about hurting their little sister or be under the judging eyes of my best friends. 

My best friends have other ideas, of course.

"What happened?" Jeremy asks first, his voice clearly curious as they stand between me and my safe haven.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now." I mumble, trying to walk around them and towards my room. I need to get out of these wet clothes, then maybe just go to bed for the night.

"What's going on?" James cuts in, walking in front of me with the same curiosity on his face as his twin. "Crys sounded upset, and she's telling us that she'll be staying at Scarlet's for a bit."

I stay silent after he tells me about the phonecall, the fear that she might not come back at all comes to mind again.

Have I really just lost her? I need to do something, anything, to show her how much I regret everything that happened.

Even if it wasn't intentional, it would hurt to see what she saw, to feel the pain that has followed. I need to tell her I'll never even look in Chloe's direction or talk to her ever again, if she will give me another chance. 

Fear of losing the woman I'm falling so hard for only increases with my runaway thoughts. A lump forms in my throat quickpy as my chest tightens. I don't need to tell the twins what happened, but I do need to be alone soon or I'll likely break in front of them.

"Can I go to my room now?" I grumble out, my voice rough to my own ears.

"No, you can't. What happened?" James tries again. A look of concern is on his face as he looks at my soaked and saddened body in front of him. 

"We've worked out that something's happened between you and Crys. But don't think that because she comes first, we aren't worried for you too." Jeremy pipes in.

"I can see you breaking before my eyes buddy. Talk to us." James quietly says, worry clear across their faces. 

"Give me a minute to change, alright?" I mumble, gesturing to my soaked clothes I want to get out of.

After they nod in understanding, I go to my room and slowly peel off the wet clothes that are sticking to me like a second skin. Drying myself quickly and pulling on some warm pants and a large hoodie, I sit on the edge of my bed for a minute to just pull myself together. 

I want to just crawl under the covers and sleep until she decides to talk to me again, but I know that's just the depressed feelings I have right now winning over rationality. 

Walking back into the lounge area, I sit on the couch in front of the twins. Part of me wonders if they will beat the shit out of me when I'm done telling them, but with how I'm feeling I think I'd welcome the change of pain.

"So..?" Jeremy prompts, giving me a kind smile for reassurance. 

I hope if things don't work out between us, that I don't lose them too. I knew the risks when I asked Crys out, and they were worth taking. Times like right now though, remind me of just how much I might lose if things don't work out.

Sighing, I take in a deep breath and start to explain everything that happened today. 

I tell them how I had planned to take Crys out to a movie after class, but while waiting for her Chloe had made an appearance. Explaining how she had wanted to make amends and put everything in the past, and how I welcomed the peace between us. About how I thought nothing of it, but looking back at it I know I should have.

Rubbing my hands over my face to pull myself back together a bit. I continue to explain that when she learned that I was meeting up with Crys, she had shoved me against the brick wall pretty hard. 

Scratching the back of my head, I feel the slight bump that had come from it too. 

They listen as I tell them about shoving her off me as Crys had showed up. The pain on her face at what she had seen, the betrayal and hurt. They smile slightly to know that she had punched Chloe, but the sadness was evident on all of our faces.

I end with telling them about our conversation on the side of the road, and how all I can do now is wait until she decides if we can move on from this or not. 

We all sit in silence for a while, the twins just processing all of what was told to them. All I can do is think of ways I can try to fix this, I'm not an overly patient person either. I like to do things as soon as I can to get answers or results, but right now that will only push her away from me.

"Fucking hell..." Jeremy mumbles, five minutes later. 

"Yeah." 

"What the fuck?!" James says after another minute. 

I look up at him questioningly, not wanting to chance more possible wrath off them than I might already get.

"What the hell is wrong with Chloe? Like, I knew she was a bitch when you dated her, but this is just another level." He rambles on, pacing slowly.

Nodding in agreement, I just stay silent.

"Well, we knew she was cray cray." Jeremy says with a small smile, twirling his finger next to his temple. "Surely Crys knows you'd never go back to her?" He questions, looking at me.

"I explained it all to her, but she said that she needed time and kept seeing Chloe on me. I'm giving her time." I quietly answer, my sight trained on a picture of all of us together. 

The boys stay silent for a while. I can tell they're glancing at me every now and then, but I can't seem to pull myself from the photo at Christmas. I can feel my chest tightening again as my thoughts continue to run in a continuous loop through my mind. The talking had distracted me a little, but now that we were silent I just felt it hit me harder than before. 

"Mate, you know we don't blame you in all this, right?" James asks, sitting in front of me on the coffee table.

Simply nodding, I stand up to go to my room. 

Before I take two steps away from them, Jeremy grabs my arm and turns me towards them.

"We mean it, Harv. We don't blame you, and I doubt Crys does too. She'll come back, you both like each other too much to just throw it away over this." Jeremy tries to reassure me, a small smile on his face.

"That's where you're wrong. I don't like her." I say with a sad smile. "I love her. Which is why this is killing me all the more. I can't even tell her now without it being the wrong time to or looking like a bullshit move to guilt her back to me."

Their shocked faces is all I need to see to know I'm done with this conversation. Turning around, I continue my walk back to my room, throwing a small wave at them before closing my bedroom door behind me.

I check my phone to see if she's sent me anything, only to see a blank screen. Sighing in disappointment, I climb into bed to enjoy my solitude. Sending Crys a quick message, I put my phone on my side table and cover myself in bed sheets.

Maybe when I wake up, she'll be home with me again.

Maybe this will all just be a bad dream, or rather, a nightmare. 

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Slightly shorter chapter, because I'm doing a double update!!!

Also, yay! 4k reads on this book!

Thank you so much for giving my book your time.

I know the last chapter was a bit cliche, but I needed the drama that came from it! 

Next chapter will be up in a few hours.

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