My shoes beat against the pavement. For the first time in a while people seemed to notice my existence, they jumped out of the way as I ran by. I didn't know where I was going, I didn't remember where the car lot was, I just needed to get away.

Father Andrew. Of all the churches to hold an event in the city, it had to be mine. Panic filled me as I thought of what Tommy might say to him. A small glimmer of reason came to my scattered brain. I don't think Tommy actually knew my name, I was always "Darling." I doubted Tommy would go far enough as to tell him the story of my daring church escape. I was safe.

As my thoughts calmed so did my running speed. I sat on a grassy patch by the sidewalk, panting. Grass? The realization hit me. I looked around. Somehow I made it back to the park I first came to. It felt as if I'd really come full circle. I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my head against them. What now?

I sat like that a while when I heard a man clear his throat. I looked up. Glowing blue eyes met mine, a familiar face smiled at me. Gary.

"My, my. What happened to you? Can I help somehow?"

"Gary I already know what you are," I snapped at him, "I'm not going to sell my soul, so go away. I don't feel like dealing with this right now."

He seemed shocked but let out a soft chuckle.

"Such a straightforward girl, no wonder he's so attached to you."

"Tommy's just helping me out until I get settled." I muttered. A twinge of guilt filled me thinking about how I abandoned him back there.

"That's a lie, the old man will hold on to you as long as you'll let him," he said, rolling his eyes, "but I wasn't talking about him."

"Huh?"

Gary smiled. "Oh, you've done quite a number on my good friend, Malphas."

I felt slightly sick hearing Mal's name. "Whatever you have to say about him, I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone."

He feigned shock. "You mean you don't want to hear how you left him a pathetic, shriveled mess of a demon? How he spends his days torturing himself over your loss?"

I jumped up and started walking away. No, I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear another word about Mal as long as I lived. The humiliation, the guilt, the way he toyed with me on a whim. I put up with it before because he had been so kind to me, but not anymore. I was sick of being the little church doll they all thought they could manipulate and control.

I heard Gary's footsteps follow me. "Oh, come on now. Don't you think running away like this is a bit childish? Shouldn't you two try talking this out?"

"Talking? Or arguing? Because that seems to be the only thing Mal's capable of. Everything becomes a fight and it's always my fault." I said angrily. "He doesn't get to apologize like it's a get-out-of-jail-free-card. Some things you can't take back, and saying 'sorry' won't make it go away."

Gary shook his head sadly. "What exactly did you expect getting involved with a demon? That he would be a pillar of compassion and understanding? Demons are self-serving creatures, my dear. Your needs and feelings will always come second to his. The fact he's even willing to apologize at all is amazing to me."

"If that's true then I am better off this way. I have no interest in spending the rest of my life like that." I said. "And, once again, I have no interest in selling my soul, so you can go away."

He let out a laugh. "My dear, I promise you that your soul is the safest in this entire city. I fear for the demon stupid enough to attempt to take it. Malphas would bring down a wrath great enough to make Lucifer tremble."

I was really done talking about Mal at this point. I left to get away from the demons. I wanted to go back to living a simple, normal life. How could I do that if they never left me alone?

I glanced back at the woods, maybe I could keep walking through them. If I spent my whole life in there would I finally be free? I could set myself up in a cave somewhere, come to the city only to gather supplies, hunt animals with rocks and sticks. I rolled my eyes at this. Even I knew I wasn't cut out to be a forest hermit. So what was I going to do?

A sharp sound pierced the air. I turned toward it. A hawk circled high in the sky. What was a hawk doing so close to the city? I noticed a small black bird circling with it. Suddenly the hawk dove down directly toward me. I let out a yelp and threw my hands up, but the bird slowed it speed and instead flapped its way gently to Gary's shoulder. The black bird followed suit and sat on his other shoulder. Now that it was closer I could see, it was a raven.

Gary reached up and stroked the head of the hawk. "Good girl! You found him."

The raven turned to me and cocked its head to the side. A cold feeling of nostalgia ran through me. Didn't a raven show up right before Mal found me the first time?

"You keep your beak shut, got it?" I hissed through my teeth.

The bird flinched away and raised its wings defensively. I stomped off again. I heard Gary tsking behind me.

"These kids, I really wish they'd learn to communicate better."

I walked around the city for a long time. I wasn't sure how long, but long enough for the sun to start setting. My stomach growled. I never actually ate today. As I walked through a small alley the smell of bread filled the air. Didn't Tommy mention something about bakeries tossing stale food? I peeked into one of the dumpster. A sea of black bags filled it. I pulled some off the top and began opening them. The first couple were all half-empty coffee cups and used napkins, but the third held a treat. About half a dozen dry, crumbly doughnuts.

I ate three without even thinking about it. I grabbed the rest and started walking again. I would share the rest with Tommy. I owed him an apology for running off like I did.

In the darkening alleys things finally started to look familiar. I guess I could only find my way at night now. After a couple more hours of stumbling around in the dark the dim glow of the car lot fires burned in the distance.

A couple of the residents seemed to recognize me and nodded vaguely in my direction. I made my way back to Tommy's van. He was there. He sat at the back of the van, kicking his feet and looking sullen. The guilt bubbled up inside of me.

"Hey." I said quietly.

Tommy turned in my direction. Shock quickly turned to a smile.

"Darling, there you are!" He said excitedly. "I lost you at the convention center. I thought you came back here, but when you weren't I tried looking for you. I thought you might've run off."

I looked down nervously. "Sorry, I... couldn't stay at that place."

"It was them, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

I looked up, he looked angry. "That church. They were the ones who did those things to you, weren't they?"

I bit my lip and nodded. He spat on the ground and shook his head in disgust.

"People like that make me sick. A man of God acting all good and kind but goes around doing things like that when no one's looking. Religion is the biggest scam, I swear."

"Tommy no!"

He seemed shocked at my sudden outburst.

"Yes, the church did those things to me, but the church isn't God." I said desperately. "The church is human, and humans are flawed creatures. These people have lost their way, but that doesn't mean we should stop believing in Him. Our faith in God is the only thing that can help us through these difficult times."

Tommy looked at me and gave me a small smile. It wasn't happiness though, it was filled with pity.

"I keep forgetting how new you are here." He said quietly. "Darling, if you wanna keep believing, then great. Hold that hope as long as you can, but this place? If there is a God we gave up on Him long ago. Some of us have been here forever. Yeah, maybe it's our fault in a way, but if there was some bigger thing, don't you think He'd be more forgiving and help us out?"

"God helps those who help themselves."

He let out a dry laugh. "Darling, all we do is help ourselves. No one else will, that's for sure. This place is a Hell-hole, but it's all we got. God don't hear our prayers here, so after a while you just stop praying." His face softened a little. "I want you to be right, I really do. If you think praying can really get you out of this then I'm rooting for you, but I'm not getting my hopes up, and you shouldn't either. It makes the fall to reality twice as hard."

I sat next to him in silence for a while after that. I understood why Tommy felt abandoned, but I couldn't afford to feel that way too. I lost everyone I cared about, if I didn't have God then I had no one.

As I shifted a crunching sound in my pocket brought me back to reality. I reached in and pulled out a doughnut. I passed it over to Tommy. He seemed shocked.

"Here. Sorry about running off earlier."

He took it and shook his head. "Nah, not like you could have stuck around in that situation."

He took a bite of the doughnut and stared at it thoughtfully for a moment.

"I killed my wife, you know."

I jumped a little in shock. "I thought you said she died during childbirth?"

"She did, but..." He sighed, "we got in a fight. This stupid fight. You know, pregnancy hormones making her crazy and me being at the end of my rope about it. She started crying about how I ate the last doughnut that day, I snapped and yelled at her. During the middle of me ranting and raving she went into labor."

"Tommy-"

"I just keep thinking if I hadn't yelled at her what would have happened? Maybe she would've been okay."

I grabbed his hand. "Tommy, you know that's not true. Sometimes these things happen, there is no reason."

He stayed silent a while. Finally, he sighed and squeezed my hand.

"A part of me knows that," he said quietly, "but it never leaves your mind. The what if. You know the worst part of all of it? I never got to tell her I was sorry.

We rushed to the hospital, they dragged her off, and then they died. The last thing I told her was how she was driving me crazy, and now I have to spend every day knowing that was the last thing I said. That I never got another chance to tell her I loved her."

Tommy sniffled quietly. He wiped away the couple tears that ran down his cheeks with his sleeve.

"She knows you loved her." I said gently. "The way you still talk about her? There's no way she didn't."

He nodded silently, but I could see a slight smile on his lips. He crawled into the van and laid down without a word. I closed the doors and did the same. I must have been more tired than I realized because I fell asleep almost instantly.

I was in the forest. The trees waved their empty branches in the chilling breeze. Where was I? It looked familiar, but the forest always did. A rustle came from some bushes. A crocodile poked its head from them. I stumbled back in shock. We weren't anywhere near the south, where did this come from? Were the rumors about crocodiles in the sewers true?

As it walked out I saw there was a person on its back. Slowly the leaves bent away. It was Gary. His hawk perched on his head, unmoving.

"Gary, what's happening?" I asked.

"I tried to be reasonable, but you're both too stubborn." He said, shaking his head. "He can avoid sleep, but you can't, and you can't run from me in your dreams."

"Dreams?" Was I dreaming now?

He lifted his hand and pointed behind me. I turned around. It was Mal's house. The crocodile started to waddle toward it.

"Come," Gary said, "I think it's time you saw what's been going on."