Waking up to Chase's face was bittersweet. If I loved him so much, how could I not feel the pure pleasure that comes with the territory? Why was I thinking about someone else in the first place? Damn Jack and those menacing good looks of his. I feel like shit, possibly worse than a hangover & it's all mental. Hell, I'd rather have the hangover.

Chase moved around in bed, slowly waking up. He smiles and gently moves strands of hair out my face. "Hey beautiful."

"Hey," I smile back.

"I love you," he sang.

I mouth love you too and kiss him ever so sweetly. I could never get over how gorgeous he looked when he stretched, how every muscle in his torso flexed.

"So, Mia Foster's party tonight: are we going?" I ask.

"You are but I'm not," he replied. "Waking up early tomorrow. My dad wants to take me fishing."

"Fishing? Ugh...fine."

"But listen," he took my hand in his & kissed it. "When I get back, you have me all to yourself. Deal?"

I nodded and he kissed my forehead. When he got out of the bed, I stared his naked physique down. He turned & caught me staring, bashfully chuckling. "I'm gonna take a shower, don't go anywhere."

"I won't," I promised.

The smile remained on my face until the bathroom door closed. It slowly faded. I'm still a fake.

. . .

Being a third wheel has its perks: not showing up to a party alone is one of them.

I had the honor of third-wheeling it with Matt and his on & off again girlfriend Eva. I never cared for Eva nor her long blonde tresses that she felt the need to touch every 5 seconds. This girl puts her hair up in a bun, then takes it down, then it's back into a bun; all within the span of ten minutes. Besides her obsession with how others view her, she's always wrapped up in her huge ego to care for anyone but herself. 

She expects Matt to be 19th century chivalrous toward her; wait on her hand & foot (which he does), and this I sadly understand because what girl wouldn't want that? But she's still a bitch about everything. She always finds something that Matt had done wrong and completely chastises him for it. Sometimes I think Matt is scared of being alone. No -- I know he's scared of being alone. That's why he hangs onto Eva so much. He swears no other girl wants him. Perhaps one day, if he'll let me, I will find him a nice girl, a better girl.

Mia Foster's end-of-the-year party was dope as soon as we walked in. Senior year was the year of me wearing sundresses and I just wanted to dress down for once. A plain white t-shirt with my mom's old red flannel shirt over it, denim jeans, & my black tennis shoes. The strong smell of marijuana filled the air, music blasted, girls were grinding on laps, guys were drunkenly dancing atop speakers & coffee tables, drinks were flowing, people were already passed out on couches; it was an all-out rager. Matt was ready to dance but Eva demanded he get them drinks first. I rolled my eyes when he began to obey as usual and separated myself to go find the restroom. I decided to venture to the upstairs restroom knowing the first floor probably had a line.

I knocked on the door before noticing the light was on inside. The door finally opened and there he was...Jack Gilinsky. Time slowed for a fraction as we both paused in the doorway. He had a lit joint hanging out the side of his mouth. He slowly smirked as he looked me up & down.

"Open your mouth," he said in a smooth voice. What lovely first words.

Like a robot, I complied, just barely parting my lips. He took a huge hit of his joint and came very close to my face, blowing a stream of smoke into my mouth as I sucked in. He smelled like expensive cologne beneath the layer of marijuana scent and I was tempted to do unforgivable things to him right there in that doorway. He moved back a bit and smiled, nearly making my motor skills subside.

"Where's your boyfriend?" He teased. "Chase, is it?"

"Who? ...Oh- I mean- shit," I stammered. "He stayed home."

He chuckled. "That's too bad."

He bit his lip and then walked away. The first thing I do is squeeze my thighs together. I shouldn't be feeling these things. Why all of a sudden? I barely remember seeing him in high school, maybe passed him in the hall once or twice. I almost hated myself for never noticing such a majestic being. 

Images flashed in my mind of the way he looked at me after graduation with such hunger, such finesse. He had this king-of-the-jungle aura about him, I'm sure he could growl and it would be deemed a sort of mating call. As a sad attempt to forget it all, I skipped the restroom and headed down to the kitchen where all the cups of "courage" were.

Three shots of vodka along with two rum & cokes later...

The room was now spinning. But it was a good spin. I danced around with boys and girls alike bathing in the bliss that is a successful house party. When the music changed and I decided to stop dancing, it turned into a terrible type of spin. I tilted, quickly grabbing onto a guy's shoulder. He was talking to a guy and I just rudely interrupted.

"Whoa, you okay?" He asked. I could barely make out his face.

"Mmm dunno," I slurred.

"Let's go clean you up. I'll take care of you," it sounded like he suggested.

Next thing I know, he's holding me up by the arm, guiding me upstairs. When we got to the top, I realized we stopped moving and tuned my focus onto my hearing.

"What the hell man?" I heard a voice shout. I turned to see Gilinsky standing behind us.

"What?" the guy questioned.

"She's drunk, dude," Jack stated.

"We're just gonna have a little fun," the guy drunkenly laughed. "You can have your turn after me."

Suddenly Jack grabs the guy by his collar and slams him against the adjacent wall. "Lay a finger on her and I'll fuckin' blind you, Mahone," Jack shouted. "You're gonna need those eyes in college, aren't you?"

"You're a real asshole, Gilinsky, you know that?" He escapes Jack's clutches and heads back downstairs.

Jack rushes to my side and touches my cheek, staring deep into my eyes.

"Finish this, you need to stay hydrated," he tells me as he hands over his half-filled bottle of Gatorade. I drink it in gulps followed by an unladylike burp. Deep down inside, the sober Lauren was embarrassed & it showed on drunk Lauren's face. I'm sure it looked like I wanted to cry. We sat at the top of the stairs in silence and he examined me carefully, thoroughly concerned.

"Lauren," he began, snapping his fingers at me. "I know a place we can duck out to until the party dies down. I know you don't wanna go home like this."

I mumble things that not even I could understand and nodded. He chuckled, flashing that smile I love so much.

He reaches for my hand and caresses it with his thumb, going in little tiny circles.

"Can you feel that?" He asks.

"I dunno, let me go ask the aliens on Orion's belt," I manage to slur.

"Yeah, you've had enough to drink."

And I believed him. I'm a lightweight when it comes to the art of alcoholism. The music seemed louder and more fused together. Faces seemed distorted slightly. My head felt like hell, my throat twitched to hold back the sensation of gagging, but Jack gently took my hand and helped me stand. He guided me to one of the guest bedrooms. It was nicely put together. The entire decor was minimalistic and monochromatic. Dark grey walls with white accents, a black bedspread, two silver lamps on each side of the bed, and framed black & white photographs on the walls. Mia Foster's parents certainly loved to keep up appearances. 

There was something about being in that room alone with Jack that changed something within me. No prying eyes. It could have just been the alcohol talking but it only heightened the things I have already been feeling. Then again, what I felt was pure lust. All of my love was for Chase and Chase only.

Jack put me to lie down on the bed on my side while he sat down at the foot of the bed and turned on the TV. As fragile as I felt, I still managed to move myself to where I could see the TV, too.

"Harry Potter?" My voice was now raspy in the fear if I spoke regular, I'd throw up.

He looked back at me and grinned. "Don't tell anyone."

The Harry Potter franchise is one of my favorites but my attention was held by his physique. His white t-shirt clung to his body, showcasing the curvature of his torso and the details of his back as he rested his elbows on his knees.

I'm not sure when I exactly fell asleep but when I woke up, Jack's arm was over me. I felt his breath on the back of my neck. I began to move his arm but then I stopped. The guilt set in once I decided to leave it where it was. But what was so wrong also felt so right. So instead, I moved a bit, nestling deeper into him. He took a deep breath and his fingers wiggled against my stomach. I turned my head to see him out the side of my eye and he looked just as gorgeous asleep as he did awake. His eyes slowly opened to look back at me. My God, those eyes. 

I turned a bit more, now lying on my back. We locked gazes for what felt like forever, no words. I fought the urge to kiss those luscious lips of his and I could tell he did too. There was still so much guilt I felt at this moment but I wanted him to make a move...badly. I needed to get this out of my system. 

I reached for his jaw, my fingers grazing his little bit of stubble and I hoped after today he wouldn't dare shave it. Then it was as if he could read my mind and he pulled me in closer. His hand rubbed my hip and I didn't want to stop him. He slipped that same hand in between my thighs, rubbing my warmth. I moved again until I was face to face with him. 

He moved in, closing the space between us and hovering inches above my lips. "I don't think I've ever felt a heart beat so fast," he whispered.

My eyebrows furrowed & lips pursed as I fought my urges again. And then, slowly, his lips pressed against mine. He moaned softly as we got lost together in that moment, as if kissing me was a feeling of relief. It felt like relief to me. I lost myself even more when I kissed him deeper. Once he slipped his tongue between my lips, a fire burned beneath my closed eyelids and made everything steamier than before. My hands found their way to the bottom hem of his shirt, tucking themselves underneath to explore his fiery skin. When they got around to his bellybutton I felt him tense up with a subtle gasp. He climbed on top of me and grabbed my ass with both hands making me giggle through our kiss. Damn he felt amazing. The things I felt were so foreign to me but I wanted more like a kid in a toy store. 

As I wrapped my legs around him...my phone buzzed. It was like that sound ripped us out of our little paradise, bringing us back to reality. We both sighed in defeat and Jack dropped his head onto my shoulder, wishing we didn't have to stop. I reached down into my pocket to pull out my phone.

It was Chase calling.

I slipped out from beneath Jack and answered, beginning to walk around the room.

"Hello?" I tried to sound normal and paced my breathing.

"Babe," he exclaimed. "I'm about to head out with my dad. Just wanted to see how you enjoyed the party."

"Um, yeah it was cool. I'm sure I drank too much, but I'll be okay."

Jack silently chuckled and smiled at me. The way he was on the bed made me want to jump back on top of him. His hands were behind his bed causing his shirt to rise, exposing his happy trail.

"Who did you go with?" Chase asked, shaking me out of my small trance.

"Just Matt & Eva."

"Yikes," he joked. "Well I miss you and I'll call you as soon as I get back on shore. I love you."

All sorts of panic flowed through my body. I closed my eyes. "Love you too," I said.

Chase hung up and I opened my eyes to see Jack looking everywhere but at me.

"I think I should go," I said.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, still not looking at me.

"Hey look, I'm sorry. But you knew I had a boyfriend."

"Oh, I knew. But did you?" His eyebrow raised.

It felt like a hole got punched through my chest. He was right. How could I do this to Chase? How could I lead Jack on? I was the girl that I hated in every teen movie. I covered my face with my hands, not knowing how to feel. Soon, I felt those soft hands gently pulling mine down.

"Listen," Jack began. "Being able to kiss you is like...a dream. I've been wanting to kiss you ever since I saw you dance in that 10th grade showcase. Remember that? You danced to that weird Twilight song Edward Cullen sang?"

"It wasn't weird." I tried not to laugh. "And his name is Robert Pattinson."

"Whatever," he laughed. "I've liked you ever since that moment. I just never got to tell you until now. But I know it's pointless because you're with Chase. If the guy were a douchebag, that would make this so much easier."

"Yeah well, you're not making this any easier either Jack," I whined.

"Sorry...but listen, it was an honor and a privilege to wake up to you. So whenever you begin to feel the same..." he trailed off. He took my phone out of my hands and dialed his number, calling his cell phone. "You know who to call."

He deeply kissed me one more time before walking out of the room. For a moment, I had forgotten where I was, who I was, or what I was even supposed to be doing. This guy must be working with some voodoo magic. No kiss or touch has ever been able to spark this sort of frenzy within.