Ally

"Good morning," Alana greeted as she walked into my room, eyeing my disheveled and pitiful self.

I woke up feeling confused. Incomplete. I had so many unanswered questions lingering in my head. He never called me back last night. I waited. I restarted my phone just to make sure it was working properly. Pathetic.

Did he hear Alana ask about Nick yesterday? Maybe this was a sign. I really should figure things out with Nick first instead of wasting my time and energy with someone I barely knew. The last thing I wanted was to lose myself, again. There was no one to blame but myself.

"What's wrong?" Alana asked as she slid her body next to mine. Her feet grazed my toasty legs under the blanket and the iciness of her skin sent shivers of shock up to my spine.

"Ah!" I yelped from the unwanted contact.

Alana giggled. "You're so warm. I really miss this," she said hugging me, then proceeded to slide her icy fingers under my shirt.

"You are such a jerk!" I cried out, then we burst out in laughter.

"I miss you too."

We lay in bed as she finally shared details of her life in New York, which mostly consisted of her affairs with the couch in her small apartment in East Village or the library, buried in piles of books and research papers. But the sparks in her eyes revealed more than just the boring study sessions.

"Can you just get to the juicy part. I don't want to hear about this boring stuff as much as you love to talk about them," I demanded.

Her eyes twinkled. Happiness, excitement, and youth was painted all over her face as her smile widened. I knew there was something different about her. I just thought it was the fact that we haven't seen each other for a while. I never realized it was because of this.

"You know me. I've never let anyone or anything distract me from my studies. But there's this guy. His name is Austin. He is so hot. He is the God of distraction," Alana drooled over her love interest. Even the way that she said his name came with such desire and pleasure. "It's funny because I hated him at first. I loathed him. He's such a know it all. He's so smart. It's annoying and intimidating at the same time. He always challenged me in class and I always thought it was because he hated me, too -- the girl who always had something to say. But I guess it was his way of getting my attention, and he did just that."

They just started hanging out for a few weeks now, hence the fresh scent of infatuations coming from her when she talked about him. She looked happy. And, I was happy that she was happy.

"Anyway, I came here to give you this," she said handing me a card in a sealed yellow envelope.

"What's this for?" I asked, eyeing her with disapproval. She knew how much it made me uncomfortable receiving anything, especially gifts.

"Just open it!" she demanded. As I was carefully unsealing the envelope, her smile broadened and tiny dimples played at the corner of her mouth. She showed more enthusiasm for what was inside the envelope than I did. Frankly, my nervousness overpowered the excitement a normal person felt when receiving a present.

The front of the card had a red apple with the New York skyline printed on it. I squinted my eyes at her. When I opened the card, a folded piece of paper fell onto my lap. Alana let out a tiny squeal of excitement. I stared at a ticket to New York with my name printed on it. My eyeballs felt like they were about to pop out of my eye socket. I wanted to give her a response she anticipated, but I didn't know if I was more happy or nervous.

"Happy Birthday!" Alana greeted with so much joy then threw herself at me. "Well, early birthday but you get to spend your twenty-first birthday in New York!" She corrected herself. My birthday was this upcoming weekend. Megan had been bugging me all month long to let her throw me a party, but I begged her not to. I hated being the center of attention.

"Thank you!" I said with a convincing tone of excitement and hugged her back. I was genuinely happy with the surprise and Alana's effort. Celebrating my twenty-first birthday in New York sounded fun. A new city where I didn't know a soul except for two.

"What time is your class today?" Alana asked as my alarm went off.

"At nine," I whined.

After a warm shower, I rummaged through clothes then finally settling into my favorite jeans. I topped it off with an ivory silk top with printed polka dots. I freed my voluminous waves as it covered the top half of my back before heading out.

I had twenty minutes to get to my first class: Creative Writing 202. As always, I was rushing through the morning traffic. My drive to Loyola University was serenaded by the shuffled music on Pandora.

"Nothing is as it has been. And I miss your face like hell. And I guess it's just as well. But I miss your face like hell...Rivers and roads. Rivers and roads. Rivers 'til I reach you."

The morning hours were coming to an end and still nothing from him. The sour taste of rejection and disappointment filled my chest.

What the hell? Rejection from what? Get your shit together Ally. There was no rejection here because you weren't expecting anything in the first place.

I stopped checking my phone and buried it deep inside my bag. I tried to focus my attention on the tip of my pen barely touching the unwritten page of my notebook. During the last thirty minutes of our class, Professor Scott instructed us to write in our journals.

"I will not give you any topics to write on. It's up to you what you want to write about just as long as you write," he instructed.

At the end of the class, Professor Scott would randomly select a student's journal for review. This was his way to make sure everyone would participate in this activity. This was my favorite part of the class. I always wished we had more time to write. But, today was different. I couldn't focus. My mind was running wild like a boar but the paper remained dry. The scribbles of pen on paper and audible sighs echoed throughout the classroom.

"Ten more minutes class," he warned.

"Shit," I breathe out my panic. Finally, I scribbled my frustrated thoughts away.

I had one more class left for the day, Comm 101: Public Speaking and Communication. I sat next to Gio, the musician I befriended on the first day of class. I was late, as usual, and he was kind enough to sneakily open the door to let me in while the professor had his back turned away from the class. On top of that, he let me take over the seat next to him, which was occupied by Ina, his Martin and Co. guitar, the sexy strings with a black satin finish, enclosed in a leathered case.

"I think Mr. Gibson is having a lazy day today and decided to make us do all the work instead," Gio commented.

We were studying Viktor Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning and instructed us to partner up to discuss Frankl's three general ways to discover the meaning in life. We had to present which ways we believed would prove the most powerful in our lives. This presentation counted for our midterm grade.

I fished my hand in my bag for a pen but felt the buzzing vibration instead. I enveloped my palm around the rectangular object. My eyes squinted behind my glasses as I adjusted it with my middle finger, focusing on the message displayed on the screen.

My stomach knotted in all places. Excitement consumed me as I saw his name in my inbox. But bitterness quickly took over, remembering that I was upset this morning waiting for his reply. What a pathetic girl. I was more upset with myself than him. I needed to focus on me, not him or anyone else. I promised myself just that.

Harvey (1:14 pm): Good afternoon, Beautiful. Sorry I didn't get to call you last night. I was out with the boys with a dead phone up until now. How are you today?

As much as I was itching to reply, I proudly turned my phone away and gave my undivided attention back to Gio. He recited the three general ways Frankl mentioned in his book while I wrote them down.

1. By creating a work or doing a deed.

2. By experiencing something or encountering someone.

3. By the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering and that "everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.

"How could he make us choose only one when all three of them pretty much make sense?" Gio complained.

"Just to make our lives miserable, duh," I chuckled. "Were gonna have to narrow it down to one, you know? At least two for today," I reminded him.

By the end of our class, we narrowed our choices down to the second and third ways.

I stepped out of the building and was slapped by the cool breeze from Lake Michigan. My body shivered in response. I tried to keep myself composed as I checked my phone.

Me (4:10 pm): Hey. I just finished my class for the day. What's up?

Harvey (4:13 pm): Can I call you?

Me (4:14 pm): If I say no...

Bzzz. Bzzz.

Harvey E. Hughes is calling...

I nearly dropped my phone from the instant vibration in my hand.

Fuck. He doesn't waste his time at all.

I pressed the green button to answer his call.

"Hello?" I answered with a questioning tone.

"Were you going to say no?" He asked with his deep and husky voice.

I had almost forgotten how desirable his voice was. What the heck! I needed to stop being so thirsty. I gulped down the remaining water I had in my bottle. I was proud of myself. As weird as it may sound, I hated drinking water. But part of my Focus On Myself list included the practice of drinking more water than I normally do.

I covered my ears with the headphones as I dug my hands inside the pockets of my blazer and walked towards my car.

"Well, you didn't really give me a chance to," I said with a stern voice. I tried to hold my ground, tried to sound unaffected by the seductiveness of that husky voice.

"I didn't want to risk it in case you were upset that I didn't follow through with the call last night," he said with such confidence that I was subconsciously handing him a platter of my forgiveness.

"Oh. It's totally fine. Why would I be upset? It's not like I was waiting for your call anyway," I said. Instantly, I felt the heat of regret surfacing on my cheek.

Oh my God. Stupid girl. Why did I say that?

I heard a chuckle on the other line. Was he laughing at me? He was definitely laughing at my stupidity.

"You're cute. Did I ever tell you that?" He teased.

My grin spread from ear to ear. Ugh! No. This needed to stop.

"Listen, I have to tell you something," I replied with an instant mood downer. There was no point holding back on something this significant. I didn't want to start carrying guilt over my shoulders and I should've mentioned this from the beginning. As a matter of fact, this shouldn't have happened in the first place. I had all the control when I texted him. I had the chips and I decided to gamble with it.

"I should've told you this from the start," I continued. I felt the tickle of heat surfacing through my hair follicles. My heart rapidly pounded through my chest as if I was running a marathon I had never trained for. I needed to just say it. Just get it over with.

"I'm—," I began.

"Wait," he interrupted. "Before you start, I just want to let you know that I'm glad that I met you. We all have a past. It's just part of life and growing up."

What the actual fuck. Where did that come from? I had a feeling he already knew what I was going to tell him. I was certain he heard Alana over the phone yesterday. But I needed to tell him on my own terms.

He was right about life and growing up part, but he was wrong about one thing. It wasn't my past.

It was my present.

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for reading this far into the story. What do you think of this chapter? Do you have any guesses of what Ally is trying to tell Harvey?

How would you feel if someone tells you that line "Listen, I have to tell you something" ???

I would probably be sweating my ass off from the suspense lol. I'm weakling. -.-

***Don't forget to vote and comment on your thoughts/feelings/feedback. Thank you! Gracias! Maraming Salamat! Merci! Grazie! Xièxiè! Arigatō!***