Listen to 'I hate you I love you' by gnash ft Olivia o'Brien while reading this chapter.

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"Fucking hell!" Louis kept on cursing at the TV screen, his fingers furiously pressing the buttons of the video game controller. "Stay there, Stan. Don't you fucking move!" He yelled in the headset. He'd gotten up at some godly hour of the night, not being able to sleep and it was almost evening and he had yet to leave his game to notice his surroundings.

"Let's do it, now." Zayn said looking over at Louis's appearance consisting of just sweatpants and disheveled hair with crumbs of Doritos around his mouth. This worried both of them because they were used to the same Louis at some other time without any dark circles under his eyes. He's not sleeping and that's saying something.

"Hey, Lou." Liam said while sitting next to Zayn, opposite Louis. The boy just grunted in response, stuffing his face with a handful of chips, munching it obnoxiously, the crumbs falling everywhere and continued using the same greasy hands on the controller making Liam wince in disgust. "We need to talk to you about something." After all they got was a nod but no eye contact, Zayn gave Liam a look, which made him switch off the television.

"Are you stupid! Liam, what t-"

Liam raised his arm to stop Louis's rambling. "It's important." Louis groaned and dropped his head back on the couch, "But, first go wash your hands and mouth." He pointed his finger in the direction of the bathroom.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He whined. But, when Liam raised his eyebrow saying that the couch will get dirty and Louis would have to clean it, he trudged on his way, his long sweatpants' ends dragging below his feet. Zayn shook his head on realising that it's not Louis's with the way how long it was and a bit snug on his arse and thighs. If it's who he thinks it is, well, then shit!

"Can you just please hurry up!?" The boy had came back with a clean pair of sweater on, which again wasn't his because it was giving him sweater paws.

"Louis, we've been noticing your behaviour for the last couple of weeks and it's....uh" Liam awkwardly furrowed his eyebrows and fumbled around with his words.

His fiancé rolled his eyes, Liam can't confront people about feelings for shit, "Do you have feelings for Harry?"

For a second, Louis could hear his heartbeat increase rapidly in his ears, with widened eyes his first instinct was to frantically shake his head no, but then forced out a snort, "He's got a big dick." The boy avoided looking at his two mate's eyes and rubbed his arm, trying to act nonchalant.

The prolonged silence just confirmed their suspicion, "Louis." Zayn didn't move his eyes away from Louis's face for once. "He's married." The voice was soft yet firm, understanding yet warning, caring yet unnerving.

Something snapped inside of Louis, he stood up from his place, "Do you think I don't know that, goddammit!" He barked. "If the ring he always so proudly wears isn't enough for me to see he's married! Or the way he leaves me hanging for someone else isn't enough to prove that he'll never be mine!" His face was red in rage, nose flaring with heavy pants and a frown evident on his face. Sitting down soundly after realising what he just said, Louis wiped under his tired eyes, not getting any moisture in his fingertips, just a burning ache in his heart. "Why are you asking this?" He asked much calmer now, voice raspy but not cracking.

Feelings being there was known by the couple, but then being this deep had them worried. Before Liam could say something in utter protectiveness instead of consolation, Zayn said, "It's not wrong."

Louis let out a dry humourless chuckle, "How is liking someone who can never be yours not wrong?"

"Cause falling for people for who they are instead of who they can be for you isn't selfish and that's right irrespective of the situation or consequences."

It would be so easy, so effortless, so soothing to let Zayn's word convince him, but Louis is hard headed. "Does it even matter?" He raised his arms attempting to blow this conversation off, "I'll get over him." He shrugs. "It's just new and exciting, probably infatuation."

"Seven months is a very long time for just an infatuation." Liam spoke for the first time.

Louis just gulped.

After few more minutes of Zayn and Liam just observing Louis, who fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve, pouting and just plain confused with overwhelm.

"We'll always be by your side, no matter what." That's the only thing Zayn knew would be appreciated by Louis without him feeling like he was being proved wrong or judged. Liam joined in too cause why not.

When Louis wrapped his arms around both of them, hugging him tight, Zayn and Liam felt like marching upto Harry's door and kick him in the groin! This boy never shows this side of himself unless he's emotionally vulnerable and utterly hopeless. Comfort is only acceptable by Louis Tomlinson if he knows it's not something he'll get by fate.

"I'm sleepy." Louis got up and trudged his way up the stairs as the only people he knew loved them back saw his retreating figure in sadness and helplessness flooding inside their systems. Louis doesn't deserve this, the boy should have the world and they could give him that, but it's not in their hands that his world has now become Harry Styles.

As Louis picked up a huge pillow from the ground, kicked out by him since he never really slept with it, he wrapped the duvet snugly around himself. He held the pillow against his chest, throwing his arm and leg over it and his head above, feeling the soft surface underneath never wishing this badly for it to be someone's warm chest. Someone who would probably think that Louis isn't this pathetic, having someone Louis could never be.

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It was Christmas Eve, Louis's birthday and almost like every year, a grand party would be thrown. The difference being that when people were greeting him in the midnight, he seemed to be more nervous about sending a text or what to write in it to his neighbour.

He settled out on a simple, 'Do you have any plans for today?' and based on the reply he would invite or least let the man know about today being his birthday.

Waking up to many notifications made Louis smile bright. He had slept after sending the text knowing that frog dork would be sleeping at that time. Harry would've probably send something cheeky and stupid, which will make Louis roll his eyes or sigh in fond. But that thought soon vanished when he opened his chat with Harry to see no new messages, it was the very first thing he checked.

Refusing to let this falter his optimistic outlook for the day, which is suppose to be his best day, he carried on. Smiling when he got a call from Aiden wishing him a happy birthday and also an image of a huge cake with 2 candles on it drawn on a birthday card cause that's what Louis told him, that's he turning 2 instead of 20 since zero has no value making the little bugger giggle and creating a internal joke between the two. Gemma had gone to her late husband's parents for celebrating Christmas and New Years with Aiden.

The boy received presents, wishes and many other things except a message reply and while he was leaving with Liam and Zayn for the club where his party was held, he tried not noticing Harry's car parked outside on the man's driveway.

The couple could just sigh whenever Louis glanced at his phone only to look up in disappointment and try their utmost to distract the boy so that he stopped checking his phone screen for 5 minutes.

It wasn't suppose to be a bad birthday, everything was just the way it always has been, perhaps even a bit better. Maybe Louis had gotten worse... He was so close to sending a frustrated 'reply me baccckkk!!!' text but no, his ego is bigger than his level of desperation.

Unbelievably Louis had just sit in a corner watching other people enjoy his birthday and even flat out rejected Calvin's, his usual fuckbuddy's sexual offer when in fact, he shouldn't have cause everybody deserves a birthday sex. Heck, last three times, he had a fucking birthday orgy! And now, he didn't even feel like wanking.

Louis was sad, drunk, high and pissed, which only enlarged ten times to see Harry's car still parked in the driveway and no text reply when he came back home at 3. Well, this is his sucky life and what a great day to remind him that!

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Harry had gotten up on Christmas Eve to his husband cooking him a breakfast in bed and after that convinced him to have a day just for them in their house before his parents arrive the next day.

Even though all he wanted to do was chat with Louis or see his pictures on social media or something, he suppressed that and acknowledged the more rational part of his brain to not disagree with his partner and forget all about his phone.

The next day, Harry felt bad for not replying back sooner, 'Sorry was busy. Anything important? Merry Christmas btw.'

Seeing the text Louis was so eager for the previous day, he typed, 'Busy! You were in your house the whole fucking day and couldn't bother to spare one second to reply back! You ruined my mood and make me not pay any attention to those who actually remembered my birthday! Made me scoop down so low, but maybe it was my fault thinking the day I was bought into the world would mean something to you...' But clearing the whole thing, he replied back with a, 'Nothing. Merry Christmas.'

He didn't really have the courage to agree how embarrassingly his eyes prickled with tears while sending that message.

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I hate In_Larry_I_Believe for this chapter too! We'll kill her together xxxx ps- love you sissy! x