I woke up in a daze, the brightness of the sun still hurt my eyes. I blinked my eyes furiously adjusting to just that I was no longer hindered.

I sighed sitting up, bringing my knees to my chest. Come on April, you can do this. I made my up to my walkin closet.

My aunt, walked in with a tray full of breakfast food. "Morning!" she had said.

I have her a nod of acknowledgement, I rummaged through the closet to pick this:

I didn't know what it was, but I could see my hands visibly start to shake. I've never been this nervous, since meeting Lisa and the other idols.

I laughed it off, till I found myself in a pair of arms. I looked up Into Auntie's eyes, "You know the day I brought you to the dance studio, with you wearing the exact same thing you were a nervous little thing. You weren't that confident, till you fell in love with music and dancing. April I am so proud of you, I know what I did wasn't right but the real reason I didn't welcome you with open arms. Was because your cousin December and you are exactly alike, it's hereditary. Meaning all the daughters of the Soo family, will get it no matter the age or having being born with it. I was scared, that you would leave me just like December."

I looked up at Auntie in shock, "You've got to be kidding me? You mean it's my mothers fault, I was like that? Why didn't anyone tell me? Why hide from me? Instead of abandoning me like that? That's some fucked up shit, you know this right. Wait does this mean, my Noona and my mother are blind too?! Is that Why they abandoned me because I just added on to their burden?!"

"Yes, that is why you went through all the hardships. Well the situation when you were 15 was not planned at all, your parents wanted you to survive. They wanted you to experience everything, so they decided to push you away instead of shelter you like they did with your sister. I have it as well, your grandmother pushed me away from the family to make me stronger. She didn't want me to be weak, she didn't want me to give up hope. Although I hated my family for what they did to me, but I'm also thankful for what they did to me too."

I couldn't deal with it all, I stood up slowly. "I can't deal with this, I need to go and think. I'll be back late, don't wait for me."

In that moment I felt hopeless, I out on my headphones and walked out the front door not looking back. I was devastated, all of this Because it's hereditary, I went through all of this Because it's in my blood.