Could've Been by H.E.R ft. Bryson Tiller

Artist 'A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie' as Himself

You as Raina James

The rustling of the sheets woke me up from my slumber. My eyes made their way to the brightly lit clock. 3:05 AM. I sighed and turned towards the love of my life. The gust of air from the balcony made goosebumps on my skin. Moonlight shone on his skin as he laid awake in the dead of the night.

"Baby," I said turning my naked body towards his.

He looked at me, "Hmm?"

"Can't sleep. Come on." I said holding my arms open and moving the sheets to make room for him.

Artist laid on my bare chest clutching my waist. His breathing was steady and almost matched mine.  We always did this. When he couldn't sleep or stop thinking we laid like this. I was his clear and steady water in his time of need.

"What's going on, love?" I asked running a hand over his head. His eyes fluttered shut, a sign that he was relaxing.

"I'm just thinking about life in general. The future. Me and you. My music." He responded kissing my chest.

"You know you're gonna make it no matter what. I'll be right by your side. You know this." I said continuing to rub his head and back.

"I know I just can't shake this feeling that something is going on happen." He told me staring into my eyes.

"Just think positive. Now go to sleep you've been up all day." I kissed his head and he closed his eyes.

****

I stood in the back of the club sipping on some drink I ordered. The bass was loud and people were out having fun. I checked my phone. In a couple of minutes, Artist would be performing another gig.

I watched the stage as they began to set up. Anxiety. I had it double time and I wasn't even performing.

"You killed it!" I screamed jumping into his arms as excitement filled my body.

He chuckled, "You seemed more nervous than me."

"I was. My stomach hurts so much." I laughed with him before he kissed me on the lips.

We kissed repeatedly until someone called him abruptly. I pulled away and turned my head to see this person.

The man leaned on his car and smirked. Artist immediately tensed and pulled me behind him. I was confused about who this man was and why he wanted to talk to Artist. 

"Stay here." He whispered before walking towards the man.

I intensely watched them discuss something. Their voices were muted but I could tell Artist was angry. His breathing was labored and his fists were clutched.

A few minutes later he stormed over to me, "Get in the car."

My eyes narrowed at him, "What happened?!"

"Just get in the fucking car." He said with bass in his voice and his jaw clenched.

Pulling the door open I got inside and made sure to slam the door shut. He sped off before I could even put on my seatbelt. The entire drive I sat facing the window with my legs crossed. The rain started pouring down onto the car and thunder crackled in the distance. I sucked my teeth and pulled on my hoodie.

He was silent. Too quiet. Too secretive. My gut twisted. We always told each other everything. And we were definitely honest. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't realize we made it home.

We both sat in the car listening to the thunderstorm surround us in chaos. I heard the sharp click on the button that unlocks the doors. I finally turned to face him. He couldn't look at me.

"I'll be back later." He told me gripping the steering wheel.

I didn't question him. I was already on edge from when he yelled at me, something he'd never done. Moving swiftly I exited the car and watched him drive away. He didn't even make sure I was inside safely.

I didn't know this person. Someone who was so cold and distant. My teeth chattered from the freezing rain as I made my way inside as my salty tears mixed with the rain.

I should have known that nothing would ever be the same after this.

****

I intensely watched the clock tick. Minute by minute. Seconds passing freely. It had been two months and the bed was still empty every night. Our happy home was now anxiety-filled and washed out.

My neck ached from looking at the clock too much. 4:20 AM. Every night I waited patiently for this phase to pass but Artists developed a sense of secrecy and allusion. Thinking he was playing me by telling me he was out doing music but I knew.

It may not have been an affair but it wasn't his music. Something in him had changed. The light had left his eyes. He no longer felt the need to share information about himself.

Money. We had it but Artist had been bringing in more money than I could count. We moved into this big ole' house with security. An electronic gate and state of the art security systems surrounded me twenty-four seven.

I wasn't allowed to leave the estate without Artist and a couple of other guards. I was worried. But, I didn't have the voice to speak about anything anymore. I was drained, mentally and emotionally.

I checked the clock again, 4:25 AM. He would be back any minute.

I heard his footsteps and I laid on my side pretending to be sleep. The door opened and I heard him take off his clothes and I opened my eyes a little. A shiny black gun laid on his hip and I watched him put the safety on and unlock the safe.

My eyes quickly closed as he turned towards the bed. I felt his eyes roam my face. He was paranoid as hell. Is that why he kept a gun on him? I steadied my breathing until he walked into the bathroom.

By the time he came back, I laid on my side facing away from the bathroom. I felt a dip in the bed and I was immersed by his presence. He felt warm again like he had a moment of peace. He dropped his arm across my waist and scooted close to me.

"I'm sorry I keep hurting you. I ain't mean for all this to happen. It'll be over soon. And we can go back to the way things were. Just me and you. Hopefully, I can explain everything...but not right now. Just know that I love you no matter what happens." He whispered thinking I couldn't hear.

What the hell was he talking about?

****

"You know it's been a while since we went out," I said happily while squeezing Artist's hand.

He smiled back as we walked downtown late at night. We had just finished dinner and wanted to get some fresh air. It was beautiful to witness the harbor water and the flashing lights from boats and the outline of the skyscrapers.

"I missed this," I said pecking his lips.

"I'm sorry I've been keeping you in the dark for a long time. I've just been to this place. A place I had to revisit for a while to handle this situation." He replied trying to explain the void between us.

Before I could respond I hear a car roll down the street next to us. The window slowly rolled down and the end of a gun pointed towards us. I stood frozen. Everything happened in slow motion.

The masked man pulled on the trigger. Loud bangs clouded my hearing as Artist pushed me down covering me from any stray bullets. A seething pain spread through my chest. It felt hot and sticky.

Tears fell from my eyes and I tried to lift Artist.

I called out to him, "Baby. Get up. We gotta go."

He never responded. A straight bullet through his heart and into my chest. My vision was going dark. My life flashed before my eyes. I blinked not wanting either of us to die. Sirens flooded the sky booming off buildings as the ambulance tried its best to get here.

But they wouldn't make it in time.

I watched as they lowered his casket into the ground. I felt nothing. The rain poured down on me from above. The love of my life was dead. All because of something so open-ended. I'll never know what Artist was hiding. But, it had to something with the man at the club three months ago.

I rubbed my bullet wound that would forever be there. We could've been something great. Our love was perfect and I couldn't ask for anyone better. If only.

Authors Note: here's an update! Vote and comment. I wanna know what you guys think. I actually enjoyed writing this. It's like my first finished imagine too. oops.