Chapter 20: Vows (River's POV)

"Do you think we should have vows for the wedding?" I asked her. 

All of us are sitting in the living area right now, that's Brielle, my parents, and me. We're just talking about the wedding, the guest list, the menu, all that kind of stuff. 

"I don't know. If we had them, what would they be?" she shrugged. 

"Wedding vows don't have to be as long as people make them sometimes." We both turned to my mom. "It could be short and sweet, maybe only one line if you want." 

"It could?" we asked in sync. 

"What is a vow? It's a promise. Promises don't have to be lengthy letters," she shook her head. "It could just be a few words. Maybe you two should do that." 

"A wedding isn't a wedding without vows, come on now," my dad said. "Even if it's just one line." 

"Once you have them, just let us know what they are. We'll guide you with them," my mom added. 

What vows can I make to her? 

This isn't going to be easy because I'm not in love with her. My vows can't be fake and still have to be something that I will keep. 

After another twenty minutes of talking, I went upstairs to shower but Brielle stayed behind and talked to my mom. 

The whole time, I was thinking of what vows to make. "Why is this so difficult?" I asked myself, wrapping the towel around my waist before wiping the mirror with my hand. "I vow to... to what?" I groaned, taking my aftershave and putting it on. "I vow to... protect? No, I don't know," I huffed, opening the door and stepping out. She was sitting at the window seat. "Brielle." 

"Get dressed first," she said immediately, keeping her head that way and staring out the window. 

"But I need to ask you something," I sighed. 

"No, you get dressed first." She stood up and looked down at the ground, getting ready to leave. 

I walked over, blocking her way. Her head snapped up and she looked at my eyes. Only at my eyes. "Will you listen?" I stepped forward. 

She stepped back, almost stumbling. 

I smirked in amusement. I took another step forward and she went back, falling into the window seat again. I leaned down, putting my hands on the cushion so we were face to face. 

"What?" she mumbled, blinking. 

"I don't know what to write for my vows, what are you writing?" 

"I don't know yet, can't you just get dressed?" she huffed, turning around to look through the window. 

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the blinds, closing them. 

She closed her eyes and let out a breath, looking back at me. "Ask your dad, he'll help you. Your mom helped me." 

"Is that what you stayed behind to talk about?" 

She nodded. 

"What did you write?" 

"I'm not telling you, you'll find out at the wedding." She put her hands on my chest and pushed me back before standing up. "Get dressed." She walked around me, heading to leave but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, pushing her onto the window seat. 

"Relax, I'm going," I smirked, heading to my closet. I grabbed my clothes for the day and then went into the bathroom where I got dressed and then towel-dried my hair. I walked out and then grabbed a blue tie that matched her dress. "Hey." 

She looked at me, standing up. "What?" 

I tossed her the tie and she caught it, rolling her eyes but I caught her lips twitching to smile. 

She walked over while I buttoned up the sleeves and stood on her toes, tying it for me. "Did you make all your ex-girlfriends do this too?" she asked, making the first knot. 

"No," I answered, staring at her. "How many ex-girlfriends do you think I have?" I'm curious. 

"I don't know. I know you've slept around a bit but I also know you didn't lose your virginity anytime before high school graduation," she chuckled, focusing on the tie. 

"So? At least I've lost it," I taunted. 

She looked up at me. "Just because I'm a pastor's daughter doesn't mean I haven't lost my virginity," she smiled. 

"You have?" My eyes widened. "To who?" 

"To an ex-boyfriend." 

"You've had a boyfriend?!" 

She rolled her eyes, adjusting the tie. "I was in a relationship for two years in high school. You never knew because you never paid attention to me. All you did was pull pranks on me," she scoffed. 

"Who was it?" 

"No one you knew," she shrugged. 

"I knew everyone in our grade. Who was it?" She's not looking at me. Oh, it's someone I don't like. "No, please say it wasn't who I'm thinking of." 

"Who are you thinking of?" 

"It was Cole, wasn't it?" 

She nodded, going back to the window seat. 

"When? How did I not know this?" 

"I just told you, you didn't pay attention to me like that." 

"Yes, I did, you're the only person I paid attention to in high school." 

Her gaze flew up and met mine. She lifted a brow at me, smiling. 

"You know what I mean," I scoffed. 

"No, I don't," she taunted. "He asked me out in junior year, we went out until graduation." 

"I hated that guy with every bone in my body. I have since middle school—" 

"When you broke his nose while playing soccer and then he punched you." 

"It was an accident! But I still hated him, that punch was uncalled for. You knew I hated him, why would you do that to me?" 

"What?" she laughed. "Why would I date someone based on how much you like them?" 

"We were best friends!" 

"And then we weren't," she retorted. "You were my bully." 

"So?" 

She looked at me incredulously before shaking her head. "Forget it." 

"The only explanation is if you went out with him to spite me." 

"Please, River," she scoffed. "Everything wasn't about you. He was actually nice to me and he didn't believe the rumors that went around about me because of you." 

"The whole point of those rumors was to keep guys like him away from you," I mumbled under my breath. 

She stared at me with calculating eyes. "He was a good guy," she shrugged. "I liked him. We should invite him to the wedding." 

"No, absolutely not!" 

She laughed, watching me with amusement. "Don't you have work to do?" 

I sat at the edge of my bed, pulling the tie off. 

"Hey! I tied that with a lot of precision!" 

"We're not matching today." 

She rolled her eyes and walked over, taking the tie out of my hand. She opened the closet and grabbed a plain black one, tossing it to me. "Tie it on your own then," she nodded. 

I frowned, leaving it on the bed. 

She's still holding the blue tie. "You don't have any right to be angry about that, by the way." 

"Yes, I do," I argued. 

"You really don't. You weren't my boyfriend or even my friend." She stood in front of me, her arms folded across her chest. 

I stood up too. "You dated the worst guy possible." 

"At the time, the worst guy for me was you." 

I blinked, frowning even deeper. 

"What about you? You went out with Gina! And everyone knows she didn't leave any opportunity to talk shit to me and about me." 

"How is that my fault?" 

"She did it because she thought I liked you!" 

"Did you?" 

She froze, staring at me, a little confused. "No, why would I like you?" She clicked her tongue, waving her hand dismissively before tying the blue tie back on. "Especially if you hated me." 

"I didn't hate you." 

"You sure acted like it. You had me believing you did until the engagement." 

"I kissed you at the engagement!" 

"I kissed you at the engagement!" she argued. 

"I kissed you the second time!" 

"What is this? Rock, paper, scissors? Best of three wins, is that what you're saying? You're dragging this conversation out for absolutely no reason, I dated Cole, so what? It doesn't mean that—" 

I leaned down, pressing my lips to hers. 

She froze under me, her hands still holding the tie. 

I pulled away, looking at her. "There. Now I won. Best of three." 

She scoffed, shaking her head. She pushed me down on the bed and grabbed the tie, sliding it off and tossing it in the closet, shoving the black one in my hands. "You're right. We're not matching today." 

I closed my eyes, sighing. "Brielle." 

She opened the door and left. 

Did I really just do that? Did I just kiss her? Because I was angry that she dated the guy I hated the most in high school? I can't even tell if I did that because it was Cole or because it was her dating someone. Sleeping with someone. Losing her virginity to someone. 

Someone that... isn't me? 

Doesn't that imply that I like her? Or liked her, I don't know. No, I never have and I don't now either. But still. I don't like knowing that she's already done that with someone. 

Does that mean I wanted her first time to be with me? 

I groaned, falling back on the bed, pulling my arm over my eyes. "Figure it out, River," I sighed to myself. "Did I fucking like her?" 

Is that why I kept every guy away from her? To protect her in some way? 

I sat up, grabbing a pen and paper, writing down the first vow that came to mind. 

To protect her from anything. And everything. To be by her side always.

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Chapter 20

I wrote this chapter while listening to ship edit audios and whoa. every time the beat dropped I just... it was perfectly in line with the chapter. I should do that for every chapter.

next chapter: hate