With Dominic held hostage in our dorm room, he couldn't escape unless he got through both Sierra and me. Neither one of us was much of an obstacle, but he wasn't much of a threat, so we were probably about even.

He took a seat at my desk, and I stood just barely out of arm's reach in case the confusion got to him and he started swinging.

He scooted the chair away from me anyway. "God, Lindsay, haven't you ever heard of personal space?"

My heart sank into my stomach. We had been much closer once upon a time, but I didn't mention it. Baby steps.

But before we could get started, my shirt was still wet from the rain outside. "Could you turn around or cover your eyes? I just want to change my shirt."

Dominic turned around in the chair. "Just hurry up with this. I have asthma, and the past few triggers have been stress, so unless you want to deal with that, you better move quickly."

I rolled my eyes as I went to pick out a new shirt. If there was one thing I had learned about Dominic (and that he didn't remember that I knew), it was that he appreciated my collar bones and hated the person behind them. All I could do was play that card and choose something low cut.

Since we left Jack behind to do some damage control, Sierra was the only other person in Harvey's garage who had half a clue of what was going on. When I finished changing, she sat down on her bed with her legs tucked underneath her and waited for me to say something.

I hesitated for an extra moment. No matter what I said, it was going to sound crazy to Dominic and desperate to Sierra. And, unfortunately, I was both of those things and couldn't hide it any longer. "Long story short, I did a bad thing."

Dominic's expression didn't change. He was still pulled away from me, and even my very visible clavicles didn't pull him back in. I looked down for a second. They still looked pretty good to me, but maybe I was biased.

When I looked back at him, our eyes met, and a sense of familiarity rushed through my veins. It was that same feeling right before we kissed both times, that intimate warmth that neither one of us could understand. But that connection was long gone from his memory, and it was my fault.

It was an accident. An entirely preventable one, yes, if I wasn't so impulsive and reckless, but I never meant for it to happen.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I croaked and covered my mouth before any other crybaby noise could come out. "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I'm the same screw-up I've always been. I just want all of this to be over."

"That doesn't answer anything," Dominic said.

When was the lump in my throat going to disappear? Crying wasn't going to do anything now. "I know it doesn't. I just want you to understand that I'm sorry for erasing your memories from the past few weeks. I swear it was an accident, but—"

His face scrunched into a scowl. At least that was a reaction. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

I shook my head as my vision began to blur with tears. How was I supposed to explain it? As far as I knew, he only knew that there was something sketchy going on with the coin. The rest was a little complicated, especially when I wasn't in the mood to talk. But I had spent enough time avoiding things I didn't want to deal with until they got too bad to fix. I wasn't going to do it again.

"I don't know the exact point you remember, but we put ourselves in a crappy situation with someone I knew we couldn't trust, and I tried to fix it with the magic coin we found that's actually a talisman. It worked, but now your memory of the past few weeks is gone, and I'm sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel about it," I said.

He didn't respond to that. I didn't blame him, though. It sounded even crazier than I imagined it would.

"I know you don't remember this, but we kind of had a good thing going. And yeah, it would sound disgusting to past me too, but this whole talisman situation kind of forced us together, and I already miss it," I said.

Sierra cleared her throat. "I, uh, got my answer, so should I just go? I think we're creeping into a territory that's way too personal for me to be here."

Dominic held out his hand even though his attention never turned away from me. "No, no. Don't leave."

She straightened up as I tried to rub my eyes and nose casually so no one would notice that they both were a little too runny. Allergies, of course.

"I really think you two should have that conversation," Sierra said and looked at me. "You know the one I'm talking about."

"Sierra, now's not the time—" I began, but she interrupted me.

"Yes, it is. There's nothing I want more than to feel like we're actually friends instead of just roommates, and I think we're at that point." She stood up, and on her way to the door, she leaned in close and whispered, "And friends don't cockblock friends."

I rolled my eyes. "That's not—"

"Don't lie to yourself. All I ask is that you do the same for me and Jack." She smiled and waved. "Bye best friend."

"Wait, what?" I asked as she closed the door behind her.

I shook my head. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with them, but that felt like a territory that was too personal for me to know.

"Jack? Is he the one that you pretend you don't know you've been leading him on for a year?" Dominic asked.

Of course he remembered that. "I don't lead him on."

"Yes, you do. The only reason I believe anything you've told me is because you're doing the same thing to me right now. How else would you know I'm solely attracted to your collarbone?"

I smiled, and it was like the moment after we kissed the second time, and the birds started chirping again and the sky lit up and the panic of the situation set it, but in a good way. It wasn't going to last, but that was all I needed to hear to make me feel better for a second.

It was almost like I was talking to the real Dominic again. And I had to come up with a way to get this feeling (and him) back forever as soon as I told him everything he forgot he knew about us.

***

Another consequence of the memory incident that I hadn't quite considered was all the information in class that he had learned was gone as well. Every sign that we learned the week before in ASL had disappeared, and I imagined that it had to be a miserable day for him when I knew what was going on more than he did. That would have filled me with a bitchy joy if it wasn't my fault.

But for me, going to ASL was stressful in a completely different way than my normal not knowing a damn thing way. Dr. Rainier was the other professor who got involved with the talisman, and even though he didn't have any of the details of its power, his student Harvey did for a brief moment. All I could do was hope that no information made it out before I could erase Harvey's memory.

The entire class, Dominic let out a sigh loud enough for me to hear every time someone used a sign his overachieving ass forgot. And it made me feel bad, so I couldn't even tell him that he must have forgotten that I didn't have a soul.

There had to be some way to fix everything and put it back the way it was. I didn't trust myself to do it, but I knew someone who would have an idea, and even though I owed her hours upon hours of my time, she was kind enough that maybe she would be willing to help me.

Butterfly.

Maybe the talisman would be safer in her hands completely. I had proven multiple times that I couldn't be trusted, and life would be easier if I could just sell it to her, take the money, and pretend that it was the check that my parents told me they would never send. Why didn't I do that when I broke her entire store? What was I thinking?

As class ended, I stopped Dominic from packing up his stuff and leaving without me.

"I'm sure it probably doesn't ring a bell, but would you happen to remember anyone named Butterfly?" I asked.

"What kind of stupid name is that?" He asked.

So then he certainly didn't remember our first kiss. "Well, she's a witch who might be able to help us fix this. She's got a ton of potions and magic items, so there might be something that can bring your memory back."

"You actually believe in that stuff?"

"I didn't at first, but obviously we're not nearly in control as we think we are," I said.

"Just you're not, Lindsay. Don't rope me into this."

"Look, I know you don't remember the reason why I hate going to her shop, so I'm just gonna let you know that I'm genuinely trying to fix this."

Hopefully, Sherwood would treat its prodigal daughter a little more kindly than in the past.

"And I want this to be fixed too, so I'm willing to try talking to this Butterfly person, but I think I have a right to be mad about it," he said.

"I never said you didn't, but you could stop being a dick about it. I just want you to like—" I trailed off as Dr. Rainier approached our seats at the front of the room.

What did he want? An apology from Dominic for his lackluster participation in one whole entire class? An opportunity to take my talisman before I had the chance to destroy it or something?

"I hope you feel better soon, Dominic," he said.

"Thank you," Dominic said and coughed twice for good measure, and as soon as Dr. Rainier walked away, he turned back to me. "He thinks I'm sick? Do I really look that bad?"

"That's a good thing. It means he's not suspicious or knows anything more than he should," I said.

"But he thinks I'm sick like a germy person," he said.

I wasn't sure what the issue was or why I was supposed to be just as appalled as he was, so I assumed that he was actually upset that it seemed like he didn't do his best or whatever. "You definitely had these emotional issues before I ever met you, but maybe Butterfly has something that can help with that too."

He didn't reply to that.

"So Butterfly has a shop in Sherwood, and if we leave right now, there's a chance that you'll be good to go for your classes tomorrow and whatever else life throws at you," I said.

"And what if this witch lady can't help?"

"Then I'll find some other way. I promise."

He didn't even hesitate to stand up with all of his stuff. "Then let's not waste any more time."

I knew he didn't feel the same closeness that I did, but as we headed for the door side by side, I grabbed for his hand, which tensed up as soon as my fingers brushed his skin, but he didn't pull away from me. He let me lace my fingers through his, and even though I knew it meant nothing to him, it felt like all the good little things I took for granted our whole up and down relationship. The regretful kisses, the reassuring words no one else heard, everything.

"What's up with this? I know I wouldn't stoop so low to be with you ever, so if this is pity," he held up his hand that still held mine, "I don't want it."

"It's not pity, and you don't know yourself nearly as well as you think you do, apparently," I said.

"Tell me we weren't together."

I shook my head. "Well, we weren't, but we were getting there. And I don't want to give that up now that I know how different everything could have turned out."

And I sure as hell couldn't wait for him to remember that he liked me back.

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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading!

My schedule is changing since I'm just about to start a new job, so hopefully I will figure it out fast enough to keep semi-regular updates going. If you're interested, I'm going to be working in an environmental lab that ensures that Ohio's water is clean enough for the animals that live there, so I'm super excited.

For today's question, what has gotten into Lindsay here? Guilt? Real feelings? Something else?