Private Angel Log Entry Twelve

"He is still alive you know."

Billie Joe's voice cut through the still air after an undetermined amount of time, the sun was still high in the sky, but I had been lying in the snow long enough for my entire body to go numb, so possibly half an hour had passed since I had collapsed in tears.

"How can you be so sure?" I choked out, regaining my feet slowly and wrapping my coat around myself to protect my body from the biting cold.

"Because of the seventh prophecy of Joshua," he answered flippantly. Usually, his aloof manner annoyed me, but right now, I was just happy that someone wasn't smothering me with pointless words of comfort, even if I didn't really understand what Billie was going on about.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked warily.

"It's about you two - obviously. Well I didn't know that until I met you, but now that I do, it's as plain as day."

"I don't understand..." I replied slowly as I tried to rack my brain to recall the words of said prophecy. Everything had been such a mess lately, I had almost completely forgotten about it until just now.

"It isn't that hard to figure out, I'm surprised you didn't see it before actually, but I guess when you are involved, it could be overlooked. Still, at least one of you should have noticed," Billie replied in an exasperated tone of voice.

"I'm sorry we aren't all as smart as you Billie," I scoffed in reply, my earlier anger was beginning to resurface, but I tried to tamp it down.

"You don't want to be..." Billie sighed quietly as a look of pain contorted his face momentarily.

"Were you always like this...you know - before you died?" I pushed gently. I could tell by his expression that something was troubling him, and I was curious now, my earlier resentment forgotten already.

"No...well - I mean, I was always smart. I had a higher IQ than most people, which is probably why the archangels chose me for their little project in the first place." Billie scrapped some snow off a nearby rock and settled himself onto it. I sat down on the ground next to him, my ass was already frozen, and I could barely feel the cold seeping through my clothes.

"So they made you the way you were?" I asked when he remained silent for a full minute.

"I was recruited as soon as I died. I briefly debated ascending - I was no soldier, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to discover what life would be like as an angel. My thirst for knowledge wouldn't let me, and I came to seriously regret my decision." He inhaled heavily, and I could sense that relating his story pained him.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to," I reassured him, even though I was basically dying to know by this point.

"No - it's okay. It's just that I haven't talked about this much - only Brendon knows actually." He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace instead.

"He was the one that found you right?" I recalled Brendon saying something like that, it had just gotten lost in everything else that had happened recently.

"He did - thank god for that. I had been debating trying to kill myself before he discovered me. I was tired of being the archangel's pawn, and things had been getting unbearable ever since they basically overtook Heaven," he admitted ruefully.

"Oh Billie..." I didn't know what else to say. Angels could end their lives, but it was basically unheard of. Only two in all of history had done it, and the fear of the final death kept most of us from even considering that option.

"It's okay - I don't need your pity. I wasn't really living anyway. I never even once left Heaven...as soon as the archangels got their hands on me, they began testing their numerous theories - which I won't go into detail about. I wasn't the only one they experimented on, but none of the others survived. Because of my raised intelligence, they attempted to expand it so I would have almost uncanny powers to predict future events." Billie's hands clenched into fists, and I could see the effort it was taking him to control his emotions.

"And I am assuming it worked?" I pushed when his voice trailed off again. It was clear that Billie Joe wasn't used to talking much, and he needed constant prodding to continue his story.

"Better than they ever imagined actually - the fact that I didn't die was a miracle in itself. Their intention had been to have me be able to predict prophecies so they could be aware of what is coming in the hopes that they could twist them in their favor, but there were other side effects too. I can see...auras around angels - only them; it doesn't seem to work on demons or humans for some reason."

"Auras as in you can sense our emotions?" I questioned in a confused tone of voice.

"No - not like that. I can sense how strong another angel is, which also allows me to determine how long they have been in Heaven - relatively speaking, but the worst thing is that I can also feel when they are close to death. They get this black cloud around them, the darker and denser it is, the closer they are to the final death..."

"That's amazing..." I gasped out, but Billie Joe was violently shaking his head.

"No - it's terrible...I despise it. Just imagine it Frank - knowing when your friends were going to die, and not being able to do anything about it - not that I have had many friends until recently, but still...one day I think it will drive me mad," he choked out softly.

"Is one of us going to die soon?" That probably wasn't the right thing to say at the moment, but I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind, and by the way Billie Joe was reacting, it was obvious that was the case.

"You don't want to know...it won't help, and believe me, you do not need that burden on your shoulders. The archangels tried to change what I saw, but it never worked - not even once." Billie crossed his arms over his chest as if to protect his knowledge from the world, and I didn't push him; because I did understand what he meant by saying that knowledge was more of a curse than a gift, and now that I thought about it, I really didn't want that information torturing me.

"So if you can't see auras around demons, how do you know that Gee is still alive?" I tried to change the subject to something a little less upsetting - for Billie anyway.

"I already told you, he is a part of the seventh prophecy of Joshua, and if he was dead, I would know, because the prophecy would be broken."

"You still didn't really explain how you are so sure of that fact," I tried to hold back the bite in my tone, but it emerged despite my best efforts.

"It's another power I have. When I read an original copy of a prophecy, I can tell approximately when it is going to transpire, and if it is still in effect. It's hard to explain, but the words glow, and the page buzzes slightly, and the closer it comes to occurring, the stronger both things get." Billie pulled out the book he had carried here with him, and it was only then that I noticed that it was the original tome which contained all the prophecies of Joshua. He flipped open to the appropriate page before practically shoving it under my nose.

"See - the words are shaking slightly, and they have this golden sheen to them - well you can't see it, but I can - which means the prophecy is still intact, and it is drawing closer, but it is still a few years away yet. If Gerard was dead, it would just appear as a regular page of paper." Billie Joe gestured rapidly as he spoke as if that would help me better understand him. A grin began to spread across my face as the impact of his words finally sunk in, but of course, he wasn't finished speaking yet.

"He could still die tomorrow though - I can't predict that. Also, you have to take into account his mental state, considering that fact that he has been in Hell for six days -"

"I really didn't need to hear that Billie," I cut him off abruptly, my small sliver of hope already deflated.

"Sorry...um - I'm not that best at knowing when to shut up," he laughed awkwardly, and I tried my best to smile to show him there were no hard feelings between us.

"Okay, but you still haven't told me how you know the prophecy is about us," I tried to return our conversation to its original starting point.

"You still haven't caught on to that yet?" Billie Joe scoffed while rolling his eyes obnoxiously.

"Well if I had, I wouldn't be asking now would I?" I shot back. Even though his manner was irritating, I wasn't upset with this odd angel anymore, especially since he had managed to distract me from my sorrows for a little bit, which no one else had quite managed yet.

"Ugh - just read it again and picture you as the gold and Gerard as the darkness okay?"

"Fine..." I grumbled irritably, pulling the book out of his hands so I could do as he requested.

Nature dawns clear and bright

Two worlds separate

All starts to fall

Gold is tarnished and darkness comes

-

When gold becomes stained

Darkness hides light

One choice to make

Disaster or new life

-

Can gold reveal light

Can darkness polish gold

True love can renew all

Or destroy every living soul

-

When they unite

A chance will arise

One final stand

One sacrifice

-

Two becomes one

Or two can break

This is the end

Or is it the beginning?

My mouth hung open by the time I was finished; because now everything did make sense, and I was truly an idiot for not noticing it sooner, but too much had occurred directly after we discovered the prophecy for me to give it any proper thought until now.

"Oh my god, I'm so fucking stupid..." I whispered to myself, but of course Billie Joe heard me.

"Told you," he grinned widely, not making me feel any better about myself.

"So wait...if this is about Gerard and I...then is it happening now? We are already in love, so is this war we might be about to start the apocalypse?" I worried my lower lip in-between my teeth anxiously, because if that was the case, then this might not have been the best plan after all.

"No, this isn't it - like I said before, it is still quite a few years in the future. You two falling in love was the start of it, but whatever cataclysmic event is supposed to follow after isn't coming anytime soon. I am as confused about that part as you are, but I know that much for sure."

"So the archangels obviously know about this right?" It would explain why they had tried so hard to recover me after I had escaped from Heaven, but I had to make sure.

"Unfortunately yes...I had no choice but to tell them my findings. If I didn't, they became decidedly nasty toward me...I wasn't one hundred percent sure it was you, but when they saw you and Gerard in the seeing pool, they did everything in their power to ruin any chance you two had of falling in love in the hopes of preventing this prophecy from ever coming true."

"But we did...so that means the world could end eventually because of us..." I exhaled shakily. This was a lot to process, I had no idea that my actions could so drastically affect everyone, but even if I did, I wouldn't have changed a thing. It might sound terribly selfish, but Gerard was everything to me...

"Yes it does, but you two also have the chance to stop it from happening, or to save the world before it breaks," he pointed out eagerly.

"Well how are we supposed to do that if we have no idea what is going to happen?" I argued back, a little bit overwhelmed by all this new information, and a tiny bit scared if I was being completely honest with myself.

"You will know when the time comes - at least, I hope you will..." Billie didn't sound too sure of himself, which did nothing to comfort me at all - quite the opposite actually.

"Ugh - why does everything have to be so complicated?" I dropped my head into my hands with a groan. I didn't want to worry about this right now, not when I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to rescue Gerard.

"Don't trouble yourself with it Frank, it won't help anything. The only reason I mentioned it was so you would know that Gerard is alive, and I believe he will stay that way." Billie gently rested his hand on my shoulder, and I raised my head up slowly.

"You really do?" I needed to hear him say it again, maybe it could restore my own faith just a little bit, and anything helped right now.

"I do, but right now, you need to focus on him - not what-if's that may not even occur."

"You're right...as usual," I admitted ruefully.

"I know, and I am also right in saying we should head back now. We have been out here far too long, and I am freezing." He stood up quickly, tugging me to my feet with an extended hand that I gratefully took.

"Thank you Billie - that actually helped." I pulled him in for a quick hug, and his entire body stiffened uncomfortably.

"Sorry - uh - I am still not used to hugging. Brendon does it quite often, but it is still an odd gesture to me," he stuttered out once I had released him.

"Yeah - Brendon is a hugger, don't worry, you will get used to it," I chuckled quietly to myself at how awkward Billie Joe was, but I probably would be too if I had been kept away from everyone for years.

We unleashed our wings and began to fly back in the direction of the house, when something caught my eye that could only be bad news.

"Are you fucking kidding me...?" I hissed under my breath as I plummeted lower, trying to get a better view of what appeared to be hundreds of demons quickly drawing closer to our hideout.

"Frank - we should hide!" Billie Joe called out so he could be heard over the wind, but I refused to leave my friends behind to be slaughtered by demons while they were caught unaware - not when I could do something to help.

"Hey fucker - it's me! Don't kill us!" a familiar voice yelled out, and as I drew closer, I saw the demon leading the group waving me down wildly.

"Bob?" I exclaimed happily, because now that I was lower to the ground, I recognized that mop of blonde hair, and it was unmistakably him. I beat my wings as fast as I could, leaving Billie Joe far behind me in the process since he had pulled up short when he saw the supposed threat.

"Hell yeah it's me! I heard about what happened and I brought some help!" Bob shouted up at me, but I didn't have time to reply before I was tackling him to the snowy ground in a bone crushing hug.

And for one moment, everything seemed to be looking up, and I truly believed that with the help of my friends, I would soon be reunited with Gerard.

I know I just updated, but I couldn't resist putting this up, I have a really hard time not posting chapters after I finish writing them haha. I don't know how other authors do it.

Sorry to my readers of all my other fics, but you probably know by now how I am when I get inspiration for one story, I kinda ignore everything else for a bit.

I have had quite a few people ask about when I will be updating Pyre - I am trying, those chapters are a lot harder to write, because I try to make them pretty long, but I have started working on it, so hopefully I will finish it soon.

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to totalitarian because your comments are so sweet and I hope you continue to enjoy this story until the end (which is drawing very close).

Ily guys <3 Thanks for the 18k reads.

((((loving vibes))))

<3 starr