There is a bit of smut toward the end of this chapter, but I will block it off with *** so you can skip over it if you want. It won't impact the story in any way if you do.

Entry Fourteen: The World is Ugly

I am not sure how long Frank and I slept, but we were awoken by the smell of something cooking, and Mikey's off-key singing voice. He had whipped up some pancakes and eggs for breakfast, and my stomach growled loudly at the promise of food.

I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, and now that we were on Earth, our bodies had begun to crave sustenance again like normal humans. I gently shook Frank to wake him up before Mikey could eat everything, he gave me a small smile when he opened his eyes, which melted my heart.

"Thanks for making breakfast Mikes," I told him gratefully once we had all eaten our fill.

"I thought you two might be hungry, and you slept for ages, so I got bored and messed around in the kitchen. Where are we anyway Frank?"

"This is my private townhouse, I bought it years ago for when I wanted to have some seclusion, but it hasn't seen much use since I have been so busy in Heaven. No one else knows I own it, so I thought it would be a good place for Gerard to heal up. We probably shouldn't stay here for too long though because it has my scent all over it."

"Where are we going to go next?" I asked nervously.

"Well I found quite a few locations where I am pretty sure we will be safe. We will have to lay low for a while until the hunters are called off...I don't know how long they will continue searching for us, but better safe than sorry. Once we are in the clear, I was thinking we could just pass as humans and live normal lives. We would have to move around every now and then, so people don't get suspicious when they realize that we don't age, but it wouldn't be too bad a life."

"Are you going to stay with us Frank? Gerard said you were going to go back to Heaven." Mikey chirped in.

"I can't go back now...one of the archangels found out that I was seeing Gerard, so now I am a renegade." A pained expression flitted across Frank's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

"How did they find out?" I questioned softly.

"Well let me start at the beginning..." Frank started to speak, but I couldn't concentrate on his words...I felt so guilty that Frank had been kicked out of Heaven all because of me...I knew what we were doing was wrong, but I had pushed it to the back of my mind because I was enjoying our time together so much. I had never truly considered how severe the consequences would be for Frank, and I felt awful for dragging him down with me.

I tuned back in to what Frank was saying, and my mouth slowly dropped open as he explained to us everything that had happened since we had parted last. He began by filling Mikey and I in on the fragile state that Heaven had fallen into recently, how less people were eliciting to be angels, and that the ranks were steadily shrinking. He told us how the archangels had been gaining more power recently, and that God hadn't been seen by anyone he knew in months.

He painted us a picture of his insecurities and doubts, and how meeting me had made him truly reconsider what Heaven stood for. Frank went on and on about a hidden prophecy that he was convinced had something to do with why everything in Heaven had been so strange lately, but I didn't really understand most of it. When he began to recount how he had been discovered, and his following flight from Heaven, my stomach twisted as I imagined him being alone and afraid for weeks...unable to return to us without risking exposing our location and fearing death at every moment.

"...and you know the rest. I finally shook off my pursuers, and I was searching for you, when I heard Gerard calling for me to save Mikey. I flew as fast as I could, but even then, I was almost too late." Frank's voice cracked as memories from that day resurfaced. I immediately got up from the table and pulled Frank into a bone crushing hug.

"Thank you so much for coming. I am so sorry I got you caught...I wish I could take everything back, but it's too late now," I sniffled against his shoulder.

"Don't say that Gerard! Please...it isn't your fault." He returned my embrace, but I still felt horrible. He had lost everything...all because of me.

"It's the truth...if you hadn't met me, you would still be in Heaven where you belong."

"It doesn't matter. I would trade all of my days in Heaven for one more day with you. Meeting you opened my eyes, and I never want to go back to the blind foolish person I used to be. I don't regret one single moment of our time together, and I hope you don't either." Frank pressed a passionate kiss to my lips, and I smiled against his mouth as his words sunk in, and I realized how much he really did care for me.

"Mhmm..." Mikey cleared his throat awkwardly, and we hastily pulled apart. I had forgotten he was in the room for a moment, and I blushed in embarrassment.

"So when do we have to leave?" my brother chuckled softly.

"Not for a few more days hopefully. I am going to go out scouting to make sure there is no supernatural beings in the area, so I will know for sure when I get back," Frank answered.

"Be careful okay?" I squeezed him tightly before returning to my vacant seat, painfully aware of Mikey watching our every move.

"I will be back before you know it. Try and get some rest when I am gone, you are still healing."

"Okay I will. Don't be too long."

"I won't." With those words, Frank got up from the table and gathered his sword from our pile of belongings. I watched out of the window as he released his glorious wings once he was outside and flew off to the west.

Mikey and I spent the rest of the day doing practically nothing, we binged watched Frank's collection of cheesy horror movies until we couldn't take any more fake blood and girly screams. Mikey retreated to his room not long after, saying he wasn't feeling too well. The shock of everything hadn't faded for him yet, I remember how traumatized I was after becoming a demon, so I didn't blame him.

I decided to use my free time to remove my bandages and see how well my wounds were healing. I winced as I surveyed the damage, my torso was crisscrossed in angry red scars, but it looked worse than it felt.

I was pulling my shirt over my head when I heard wings beating toward the house. After ascertaining that it was indeed Frank's familiar pattern, I rushed out the door; he had only been gone for a few hours, but I was still desperate for the sight of his beautiful face.

As he drew closer, I sensed that something was wrong...he wasn't flying as gracefully as he usually did, and I began to panic. I pushed my senses to their limit, but I didn't feel anyone else in the area, so he wasn't being chased...I extended my own wings and shoved off from the ground so I could meet him halfway, if something was coming, then every second counted.

Frank barreled toward me at an alarming rate, at the last possible second, he retracted his wings and flung himself into my arms. He was crying...and not just your usual spout of tears, but full on body shattering sobs. I clutched him to my chest as I slowly lowered our entangled bodies to the ground.

"Frankie - what happened?" Scanning the sky rapidly, I reassured myself that no one had followed him here. Now I just needed to find out what had my baby so shaken up. He couldn't speak through his tears, so I stroked his hair soothingly while I carried him back inside. Now that we were in the light, I noticed that his clothing was splattered with blood.

"Oh god - are you hurt?" I ran my hands over him worriedly, but I didn't find any wounds...which meant the blood wasn't his own.

"I...I...I..." Frank stammered out, but every time he tried to speak, he was overcome with emotion, and his sobs started up again.

"Shush it's okay. I've got you now."

"No it's not okay!" His harsh yell rang throughout the house, and I flinched involuntarily.

"I killed him Gerard...he's dead..."

"Who Frankie?"

"My friend...Pete...he...we served together in the same squadron for years. I tried to convince him to turn back and leave me be, but he refused, and I didn't have a choice!" Burying his face in my chest as if he couldn't bear to let the world see his face, his frantic sobs continued with no sign of stopping.

"Oh baby...I am so sorry..." I didn't know what to say to alleviate his suffering, and it was killing me to see my angel in so much pain.

"He was a good man, and he didn't deserve death. Why couldn't he have just left me alone!" he wailed brokenly.

I was desperate to calm Frank down, but I had no reassuring words to offer him, so I did the only thing I could think of, and sang a song that I had been writing over the past few weeks. I always used to sing to Mikey when he was upset, and I hoped it had the same soothing effect on Frank as it did on my little brother.

These are the eyes and the lies of the taken

These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours

They burn 'cause they are all afraid

For every one of us, there's an army of them

But you'll never fight alone

'Cause I wanted you to know

That the world is ugly

But you're beautiful to me

Well are you thinking of me now

These are the nights and the lights that we fade in

These are the words but the words aren't coming out

They burn 'cause they are hard to say

For every failing sun, there's a morning after

Though I'm empty when you go

I just wanted you to know

That the world is ugly

But you're beautiful to me

Are you thinking of me

Like I'm thinking of you

I would say I'm sorry, though

Though I really need to go

I just wanted you to know

"Did you write that?" Frank sniffled when my voice faltered.

"Yeah...I wrote it for you. I don't have the right words to say to make you feel better. Our whole situation is ugly right now, but you will always be the most beautiful thing in the world to me, and I wanted you to know that."

"Thank you...so much. I needed to hear that. I just feel so stained...so ugly. I don't care that I left Heaven, and I was ready to fight of hordes of demons to protect us. I just never imagined that I would have to kill one of my own brethren. I gave him every chance in the world to turn back, but he refused to leave. He said I was a blight on Heaven, and he wouldn't let a sinner like me walk free as long as he had breath in his body."

"You are not a sinner Frank. You once told me just because I had done terrible things, that didn't make me a bad person, and the same thing applies to you. Pete made his choice, and you made yours...I wish he hadn't, but you tried your hardest to change his mind. You did everything you possibly could, and I don't want you to feel this way," I reassured him.

"You always know just what to say. I just wish there was another way...I don't want anyone to die because of my choices," he answered wistfully.

"So do I...I am so sorry that you had to do that." I rubbed soothing circles into Frank's back, and I felt him relax against me.

"I am going to go shower...I feel dirty," Frank sighed. I pressed a kiss to his forehead before he removed himself from my arms.

I was beginning to drift off when I heard Frank calling my name, and I snapped awake instantly. The water from the shower was still running, so I hopped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. Steam coated the mirrors, and the shower curtain outlined Frank's thin body huddled on the floor in a ball.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I joined Frank under the spray, still fully clothed, and lifted his shaking form off of the cold tiles. He had begun to cry again, and I cursed myself for leaving him alone when he was in this state.

"Is this all we are?" Frank asked as he held up a blood stained hand. He watched with vacant eyes as the water washed away the remnants of his friend.

"No baby - it's not." I leaned my back against the wall with Frank still firmly ensconced in my lap.

"I am washing him down the drain like that will somehow make me clean, but I still feel the stain on my soul. He is gone forever now...there is no coming back for him. What will Patrick think when he doesn't come home...will he know I killed him...how am I supposed to live with this pain?"

"You find something worth living for. That's what meeting you did for me. I wanted to die before you came into my life. I was seriously considering pissing Lucifer off in the hopes that he would kill me out of anger. Knowing that I was causing innocent people to take their lives was destroying me, but then you came and showed me that ending my life wouldn't bring those people back, it wouldn't make them rest any easier. So I realized that I have to push on and keep living, because so many people don't have that option anymore. Maybe one day we will be able to atone for all the wrongs that we have done, but we can't do that if we give up." I whispered soothingly.

"What happens to angels and demons when we die? Is the final death really just blackness for eternity? Is Pete still aware...is he suffering?" Frank wrapped his arms around me, and I blushed slightly at how close he was to me in his unclothed state.

"I don't know...but I choose to believe he is happy now."

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this...you must think I am so weak."

"I would never think that of you. Frank - you have a compassionate caring heart, and I know exactly how you are feeling. I understand what you are suffering through right now, because I went through the same thing. You never left me alone when I needed you, so it's my turn to repay the favor."

Frank gazed up at me, and I saw a small spark light his eyes again, the sorrow was still there, but it wasn't overwhelming his hazel irises anymore. As if in a trance, I leaned down and pecked his slightly parted red lips, relishing in how sweet they felt against my own.

When I began to pull away, Frank threaded his hands through my damp hair and pulled me back down so our mouths collided again. He ravished my senses with the passion of his kiss, and when he finally released his hold on my head, I was breathless and panting.

***SMUT WARNING***

"I need you so badly right now Gerard..." he gasped.

"I am all yours." I promised as I scooped him up and shut off the shower.

I carried him back into the bedroom, dripping water as I went since I was still in my soaked clothes. I laid his naked body onto the white sheets and began to kiss each one of the tattoos that adorned his entire body. When I reached his hips, I nipped down slightly, and Frank let out a breathy moan.

"Touch me please..." he begged, and I readily complied. Gently encircling his cock, I began to pump up and down slowly as my mouth moved up to his neck and suckled lovingly against his scorpion tattoo.

"Oh yes..." Frank groaned, and I picked up my pace a bit. He began thrusting into my hand as I continued to stoke him, but when I felt him harden even more, I stopped moving entirely.

"Gee..." Frank whined, but I just smirked as I dropped to my knees in front of him. Before he would voice any more complaints, I sucked his head into my mouth and swirled my tongue around his most sensitive area.

"Holy shit..." he moaned as I pulled him in as deep as I could go. I lavished him with my tongue as inarticulate words spilled from Frank's mouth. I basked in the pleasure that I was giving him, he needed this distraction from his thoughts, and I was glad to provide it.

"Gee - I'm close..." Frank warned. I took him even further into my mouth as he twisted his fingers through my hair and began to thrust with my movements. I let out a moan as he tugged on my locks, causing him to emit his own.

"Gerard!" Frank cried, throwing his head back as he began to come. I continued to move up and down until he had stopped twitching, and with one final lick, I removed his dick from my mouth.

As Frank recovered, I stripped out of my wet clothes, and as I much as I wanted to remain naked, I threw on a pair of sweats instead. I cuddled up next to my angel as his breathing slowed back down to a regular pace.

"What about you baby?" he questioned me.

"Not tonight. This was all about you." I reassured him even, though I was positive I would have blue balls in the morning. Can demons even get those? I guess I was going to find out.

***Smut is now over***

I didn't want Frank to feel like he had to reciprocate my actions just because I had. He was in such an emotionally fragile state, that I didn't want him to take anything farther with us tonight anyway.

I yearned for him to actually desire me for me, and tonight he didn't know what he truly wanted or needed besides an escape. He had required this tonight, and I was more than happy to oblige, but the next time something happened between us, I hoped it would be because he loved me, and not because he was trying to hide from the horrors of the world for a time.

It is currently 6:30 in the morning, but I just had to upload this chapter before I went to bed. I have been writing it on and off for the past couple days, and it is a little longer then my last few updates :) I would have had it up sooner, but work has been kicking my ass lately, and I don't have nearly as much time to write. Oh well, gotta make money somehow *shrug*

Hehe so did you like how I slipped Patrick and Pete in there?

I really debated about making them frickle frackle, but I decided to wait because I am evil like that MUAHAHAHAHA!

Okay I really need to sleep. I know I say this every authors note, but I seriously cannot believe how many votes and comments this story has gotten. You guys make me so freaking happy, and I love each and every one of you!

This chapter is dedicated to psycho_6661 because your comments are adorable and I know you wanted some love without Mikey interrupting them haha :)

I will try my hardest not to make you wait too long for the next update, but I have an even crazier work schedule next week, and my only day off is Halloween, and I have to fulfill my usual tradition of getting drunk and watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. I should be able find time to write on Monday though, so we will see if my muse is cooperating or not.

Okay goodnight for real! Or good morning...or afternoon, whatever time zone you guys are in lol.

<3 star