Entry Fifteen: Love will save you

I was awoken by a much more cheerful Frank, I hadn't realized how much I missed his smile until it greeted me full force when I finally cracked my bleary eyes open.

I had been so exhausted lately, I assumed it was because I was still healing, but it seemed to be intensifying each day instead of lessening. I pushed it to the back of my mind though, we had bigger problems than my sleeping habits to worry about right now.

"Hey Gee, sorry to wake you, but we really need to move locations today. We should have gone last night, but well..." Frank trailed off at the end, and I knew he was embarrassed about his breakdown, even though he had no reason to be. He had seen me at my worst, and for once, I had been the one to catch him when he fell instead of the other way around.

"Do we have to go now...?" I grumbled like a petulant teenager. I knew he was right, and that it was dangerous to stay here now that one angel had come close to finding us, but this place had already been starting to feel like home, and I was reluctant to leave.

"Sorry baby, we do. I am going to go make breakfast okay?" I mumbled a reply before heaving my tired limbs out of bed.

After throwing on some clothes, I headed down to Mikey's room to tell him to get up for breakfast. When I didn't get a response, I pushed open the door, letting light flood the room to reveal my little brother still in bed, snoring softly. I was surprised to find him still asleep, back when I had been alive, he had always been the one up at the crack of dawn, trying to coax me out of bed with the promise of coffee.

"Mikes?" I shook his shoulder gently when he still didn't answer.

"Hey bro - get up, Frank is making food."

"Not hungry..." is what I think he said, but it was hard to tell since his face was still buried in his pillow.

"Oh come on. At least come get some coffee or something."

"No, I don't feel well..." he complained.

"Well okay...we will be in the kitchen if you want to join us. We are leaving today too, so pack up your stuff soon."

"Mkay."

I was beginning to get worried about my brother, he wasn't acting right, and I didn't want him falling into the depression I had suffered from when I first became a demon. I hadn't expected him to be super cheerful or anything, but I thought that once we ran away, he would start to see that not everything about being a demon was so terrible.

I had done my best to shelter him from the harsh realities of our situation, but he had still been through a lot, and I didn't know how to help him. Frank had been the lifeline that had pulled me back to shore, but I wasn't sure how to be one for Mikey when he wouldn't let me in.

My stomach rumbled when I entered the kitchen and saw Frank whipping up some delectable looking omelets. I had missed the taste of real food, and I still hadn't stopped looking forward to it. Now that we were on Earth, I actually felt things like hunger again, which made me feel one step closer to a normal human being, and not the monster I knew I was.

"I hope you're hungry. I come from an Italian family, and I still have a habit of making way too much food," Frank grinned at me happily. It was such a relief to see him in a jovial mood. I knew deep down, he was still hurting, but the fact that he was putting on a brave face let me know he would be okay eventually.

"Starving actually." I gaped at the enormous amount of eggs Frank placed before me, he wasn't kidding when he said he made large portions, but it looked delicious, so I dug in eagerly.

"Wow - this is amazing!" I exclaimed after my first bite. Seriously, it was probably the best breakfast I have ever eaten, who knew that Frank was such a good cook?

"Really? Thank you! It's good to know that I haven't lost my touch after all this time." Frank beamed at me from across the table before attacking his own monstrous omelet.

"I could get used to this," I mused around a mouthful of food.

"Hmm?" Frank tried to ask, but he had too much food in his mouth to properly form words.

"You know...this." I gestured with my hands in an attempt to help my explanation. Frank nodded his head in understanding.

"I just wish we could stay here. I love waking up next to you, eating with you, just everything. I feel normal for once, and I don't want to lose that."

"I know Gerard...believe me, I wish we could stay here too, but eventually, we will find a place to settle down and call our own. It may take longer than we originally thought, but I promise you that one day, you will have your happy ending." My mouth curled up in a smile at his words. I couldn't wait until that day came...but it wouldn't be perfect unless Frank was with me.

"Are you going to stay with me? Once this is all over, and we are safe, will you still be here?" I rushed over my words in my nervous state. I didn't know what his answer would be, and it would kill me if he said no, but I had to prepare myself for the future.

"Of course! You are stuck with me now Gee, whether you like it or not." He giggled in that adorable way of his, and I felt myself falling a little bit more in love with him.

"So there is nothing else you want to do that I would be holding you back from?" My self-conscious side reared its ugly head again, but I had to make sure Frank wasn't just saying these things out of guilt.

"Well of course there are other things I want to do..." My heart dropped into my stomach for a moment, but I forced myself to keep listening to the rest of his sentence.

"...but I want to do all those things with you. I want to travel the world, and find the best cup of coffee known to man, and adopt thousands of dogs, but I want you by my side through all of it. You are the one who made me start dreaming again, so it wouldn't be the same without you."

My cheeks flamed a brilliant shade of red, and I couldn't think of a response that wouldn't completely embarrass me, so I simply circled the table and engulfed Frank in a bone crushing hug.

"Thank you..." I mumbled against his shoulder.

"I am so glad I met you Gee..." Frank's breath ghosted against my neck, making me shudder slightly.

I pulled back slowly, not wanting our small moment of intimacy to end, but knowing that we had a lot of packing to do. Frank seemed to read my mind though; he caught my chin in his tattooed fingers, effectively stopping my retreat.

I gazed into his eyes...god they were so gorgeous, I didn't even know how to describe them. For some reason, I was having a bout of shyness, after last night, I thought these would go away, but apparently not. Every muscle in my body screamed at me to lean forward and kiss Frank, but I remained frozen in place.

I watched as Frank inched his face closer to mine, and finally, whatever spell that had been holding me in place broke, and I closed the distance between our lips. His mouth seemed to be made for mine, we fit perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle.

This kiss was different than all of the others, it was sweet and gentle, instead of the passionate make out sessions we usually ended up in. There was no tragedy hanging between us, and I wasn't overcome with desolation and desperation. For the first time, neither of us were out of our minds with sorrow and grief, and I could truly enjoy it.

I memorized the way his lips felt pressed against mine, the way our breathing synchronized and mingled together. We both broke away at the same time, I rested my forehead against Frank's and basked in the fuzzy feeling flowing through my veins.

I..." the three words I so desperately longed to say bubbled to the surface, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't force my tongue to finish my sentence.

"I am glad I met you too," I finished lamely.

Why couldn't I just tell him I loved him already? I didn't think he would reject me...he said he wanted me by his side for eternity. That is love right, but even though my damaged soul was healing, it still carried scars, and I couldn't seem to convince myself that someone like Frank could truly love me.

"Well we should start getting ready to leave," Frank said in a reluctant voice. I pulled him to his feet and began to help him clean up the kitchen and gather everything we would need for the journey.

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We had been flying for a couple of hours now, making sure to stay hidden in the clouds since Mikey couldn't turn invisible like we could. It was cold at this altitude, and every now and then we would encounter a rain cloud and come out on the other side soaked to the bone.

I hoped we reached our destination soon, I was chilled and miserable, and I wanted to rest my tired wings. We were headed for an unpopulated area which Frank had picked out beforehand, it was secluded in the mountains, and since there were no humans around, there shouldn't be any angels or demons either.

Every few minutes, I glanced over my shoulder to check up on Mikey, he was steadily falling behind Frank and I, even though we were trying to regulate our pace. He had been in a foul mood when he finally woke up, and he had remained silent almost the entire day.

I told myself that when we landed, I was going to make him open up to me. He needed to know that he didn't have to shoulder whatever burden was bothering him alone, and I was going to be there for him no matter what.

A strong gust of wind reached us as we descended a bit to avoid another threatening looking storm cloud, and I noticed Mikey faltering in the air. Dropping back so I could keep a closer eye on him, I realized how pale and haggard his face looked. I was just about to call out to Frank that we needed to rest for a bit, when my brother went completely limp and began to fall rapidly downward.

"MIKEY!" My scream tore its way out of my throat painfully as I pushed my wings to their limit, chasing my falling brother.

Fear was choking me, and I couldn't think straight. Pulling my wings as tightly to my body as I could manage, I felt my stomach twist when I realized that there was no way I could catch him in time.

A steak of white whipped past me, and I slowed my descent as Frank barreled toward Mikey at a much faster pace than I could ever maintain. Even with terror gripping me, I couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful Frank was when in flight. He seemed one with the air, and I couldn't imagine anyone more fit to be an angel than him.

Reaching out his arms, Frank managed to get a grip on Mikey's shirt, and I darted downward to help slow their descent. Wrapping my hand around Frank's, I lent him my strength, and together we stopped Mikey's momentum before he plummeted into the cliffs that loomed before us.

"Mikes...please wake up..." I cradled him in my lap once we landed on a convenient outcropping. Pressing a hand to his forehead, I hissed in surprise when I found his skin burning to the touch.

"Gee..." he groaned as his eyes fluttered open lazily. Relief flooded me when I heard his voice, but I still had to find out what was wrong with him.

"Hey - what happened?" I asked gently.

"I don't know...I was just trying to keep up with you guys...then I started feeling really dizzy. I don't remember anything after that."

"How do you feel now?" Frank asked in concern.

"Better...not great, but better than before. I haven't been feeling too well lately, I am sure I'm just tired is all," Mikey tried to reassure us.

"Well we are going to rest here for a little while, so just let us know when you feel up to flying again." Frank was looking at me as he spoke, and he jerked his head to the left once Mikey turned away.

Understanding his meaning, I helped my brother get a makeshift bed together before heading to the far side of the ledge where Frank had disappeared to. Mikey was still in my line of sight, but he wouldn't be able to hear us over the wind from this distance.

"I thought demons didn't get sick Frank..." I whispered once he was within earshot.

"They don't...at least, not that I know of. Ugh - but there is so much I don't know...maybe it's normal? I mean, I didn't study demon maladies...just how to kill them...but I have never heard of one falling ill before."

"What are we going to do? Do you think he will get better like a human would?" I wrung my hands in worry, I literally had no clue what was happening.

In all my months in Hell, I had never heard of anyone getting sick. I mean, we healed from almost anything, so germs shouldn't bother us right, but if it wasn't germs, than this could be something so much worse...

"I really don't know Gerard. I think all we can do right now is watch him. Once we get to our next base, he can rest up. If he still isn't better soon, then I will figure out something..." Frank moved closer to me and entwined his fingers through mine.

"I feel like a terrible brother Frank...Mikey kept telling me that he didn't feel well, but I thought it was just emotionally you know? I mean, I felt like crap when I first became a demon, so I assumed that is what he meant..." I sniffled.

"Don't say that Gerard. You are an amazing brother. As far as I know, this is the first case of a demon illness in history. There is no possible way you could have predicted this, so you shouldn't blame yourself."

"I just don't understand why something can't go right for us just one time..." I tried to hold back my tears, but they came tumbling down one after the other.

"Oh baby..." Frank pulled me into his arms, and I sobbed quietly against his chest.

He encircled me in his wings, just like all those months ago, and I began to calm down in the protective cocoon his white feathers created. I always felt safe in his arms, even when my entire world was falling apart around me. Wiping my eyes, I ran my fingers through the downy appendages that surround me and luxuriated in the feel of them.

"Frank - your feathers are darker!" I exclaimed in surprise. I was even more shocked when he quickly retracted his wings and backed away hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong...?" I ached at his retreat, especially because I didn't understand it.

"No you didn't...I was just hoping you wouldn't notice..." Now Frank's eyes began to water, and I became even more confused.

"They are still beautiful Frank."

"NO THEY AREN'T!" His scream caught me off guard, the sheer agony in his tone tore at my heartstrings, and I desperately ached to ease his pain, but I didn't understand what was causing him such distress. Just when I thought I couldn't get any more bewildered, Frank collapsed to his knees and began sobbing bitterly.

"Shush it's okay..." I soothed him. I easily gathered his small frame into my lap and began rocking him back and forth softly.

"My wings...are darker because of my sins...because I killed Pete...I have to carry around a reminder of what I have done, and not a day will go by that I am allowed to forget." Frank choked out.

"Stand up," I commanded him in a stern voice. A look of puzzlement crossed his face, but he stopped crying and did as I asked.

"Now open up your wings." Frank gave me a stubborn look, but I simply arched an eyebrow at him and he complied. With a heavy sigh, he released his wings, and I stifled a gasp at their magnificence. I would never get tired of looking at them...

As if approaching a wild stallion, I slowly made my way closer to Frank, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Once I was directly in front of him, I reached out my hand and gently stroked one of his wings.

I truly looked at the "stain" and let him see me considering each supposed flaw in his perfect wings. I drew the tip of it to my lips and kissed it softly, causing Frank to shudder in what I hoped was a good way.

"Your wings are flawless Frank. What you perceive as sins, I see as the trials life has put you through. Each dark spot is a story, and it makes you the person you are today. It makes you the person I love...and I wouldn't change one feather about you." Oh my god - I had finally said it...I hadn't meant to, but it had slipped out. I met his eyes, expecting the worst, but instead, I saw pure joy shining out of his hazel eyes.

"You love me...?" Frank gasped.

"Yeah...I have for a long time now. I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I wanted you to know..." Frank cut me off by pressing his lips against mine in a passionate kiss. When we broke apart, he gathered my hands in his and pressed the back of each one to his lips reverently.

"I love you too...so much."

We spent the afternoon kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other as Mikey rested. I couldn't believe this was real, but if it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up. Even though we were far from safe, I found renewed strength in the fact that Frank loved me. I felt that no matter what the world threw at us, I could face it with my angel by my side.

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to finish this chapter instead :) Lots of Frerard fluff for you guys in here, so I hope you enjoyed it!

I have been working a lot of overnights lately, and I am so freaking tired, so I really don't have much to say besides thank you for the 1.8k+ reads and the 200 votes! I am really so amazed at how much response this story has gotten, so thank you guys so much.

Oh and I made a tumblr if anyone wants to follow me, my url is marchingwiththeblackparade :) Feel free to message me or comment if you guys have one, I need more blogs to follow.

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