Entry Eighteen: Infinite hope and finite disappointment

The following month flew by and dragged out all at the same time. We quickly settled into our life in the mountains, and I was relatively happy. Besides the need to travel long distances for supplies, it was a perfect sanctuary.

No demons or angels had managed to find us, and for once, I was able to relax for a time. It was magical living a domestic lifestyle with Frank. Simple things like cooking and cleaning became new and exciting to me because I had someone I loved to share them with.

Most of my doubts about our relationship had flown away, and I was allowing myself to enjoy my time with Frank. He constantly reassured me with actions or words that he loved me, and he wasn't going to leave me, and I was finally starting to believe him.

He seemed genuinely happy in my company, and I stopped doubting every little thing and began to accept that Frank truly wanted to be with me. It was such a weight off of my chest, and I reveled in the feeling of being loved by someone.

Everything would have been flawless if Mikey had been healthy. For the first few days, the rest and lack of physical exertion seemed to have helped, and he was his old self again, but then his illness had taken a turn for the worse, and each hour that passed caused him to deteriorate even further.

I had tried every remedy I could think of, but nothing worked. Frank had even tried to heal him, but it was all to no avail. Now he lay bedridden, his small frame shrunken even further by the terrible fever and his inability to keep food down. I was counting down the days until Brendon returned, and I refused to think of what would happen if he hadn't managed to find a cure.

Another worry was my own health. I had been starting to feel under the weather myself, but I had hidden it from Frank and Mikey. They had enough on their plates to worry about, and I didn't want anything to ruin the newfound happiness I had discovered with Frank.

But it was getting harder to ignore as the days passed. I was always exhausted, even if I did nothing but lay around all day, and I never seemed to be able to get enough sleep. Food was starting to make me nauseous more often than not, and I spent the time after most meals throwing up. I had begun to lose weight, and it was starting to worry me. I was nowhere near as bad as Mikey though, so hopefully it would pass.

Another morning dawned, and I sat by my brother's bedside, pressing a cool towel against his sweaty forehead. Frank had gone out to get some more food and another batch of medicines that would probably do nothing, but we still had to try. It was killing me to see my brother in such a state. I felt so helpless...he should be enjoying our time of peace and tranquility, but instead, he was forced to sit here and suffer.

"Gee?" he croaked out brokenly. I hadn't been aware that he was awake, and I jolted upward at the sound of his voice.

"Hey Mikes..." I tried to put on a cheerful tone, but it failed miserably.

Mikey looked so frail in the pile of blankets I had heaped around him. Even though his skin was burning up, he had insisted that he was cold, so I had raided the house searching for things to keep him warm.

"God - I feel like shit..." he croaked tiredly.

"I know...we are doing everything we can, and Brendon should be here later tonight. He will know what to do."

"I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me...I hate this."

"Don't be sorry. You will pull through soon, I know it."

"Mkay...Gee - I'm still cold."

"Well scoot over then." I climbed into Mikey's bed, being careful not to jostle him too much. Settling down next to him, I pulled him to my chest, and I felt him relax against me."

"Thanks bro," he mumbled before drifting off to sleep again.

This was just like old times back when we were both alive. When Mikey was younger, he had always preferred to sleep in my bed, even when he got older, he would still wake me up when he had a nightmare or an especially shitty day. My eyelids began to droop, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep listening to Mikey's breath rattle in his chest.

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I was awoken roughly by an excited Frank, and even though I had just rested for several hours, I felt as if I hadn't closed my eyes for more than a second. My body ached painfully, and I had to fight back the urge to snap at Frank rudely.

"What time is it?" I questioned him groggily, trying to get my bearings.

It was dark outside now, and there was no way I could have slept that long. Maybe another blizzard had blown through while I had been out?

"It's almost midnight Gee, I came home and you were knocked out, so I decided to leave you be."

Midnight...but that would mean that I had slept for almost fourteen hours? Something was obviously wrong with me, and it was beginning to become impossible to ignore.

"Fuck me..." I groaned sleepily.

"Not now love, Brendon is here!" Frank teased, and I swatted his arm playfully while trying to hide my flaming red face.

We may have done a lot of things, but I was definitely a virgin, and I still blushed like one. Frank of course found this hilarious, and he bent over clutching his stomach in a fit of giggles. I buried my face in the pillow in embarrassment, and I had almost closed my eyes again when his words finally penetrated my foggy brain. Brendon was here! I jolted up quickly and tossed the covers aside.

"Did he find a cure?"

"I don't know. I came to get you first, he only just arrived."

After quickly checking on Mikey, who was still sleeping soundly, I bolted down the stairs so quickly I almost ran headlong into Brendon, who had apparently been about to head up.

"Oh my god - I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be cutie. You guys were taking forever up there, so I was just about to go see if you could keep your hands off each other for two seconds so I could tell you my exciting news." My face began burning again, and my mouth hung open as I tried to formulate a reply. Now I knew where Frank got his dirty mind from...

"Brendon be nice, he just woke up," Frank laughed.

"I can't help it, he makes it too easy!" he fake pouted.

"I'm still here you know!" I exclaimed loudly, which only caused them to smile wider.

"I know baby, how could I forget that. He is right though, you blush at everything, and it's adorable."

"I am not adorable, I'm grumpy!" I mocked indigence and stormed to the couch.

If this had happened during my last encounter with Brendon, I would probably have been seething with jealousy, but I had grown much more comfortable in my relationship with Frank, and I was actually enjoying this playful banter, much to my surprise.

"Well then I guess you don't want to hear my big news." Brendon shrugged nonchalantly, and I squealed in protest when he began walking to the door. He turned around and flashed me a wink before coming back and sitting in the chair opposite me. Frank flipped over the back of the couch and landed in my lap, causing me to emit a soft "oomph".

"So what did you find?" I prodded when Brendon stayed silent for a few moments.

"I found the cure...but there might be some complications with it."

"And what might those be?" I was basically bouncing in my seat by this point, but Brendon paused dramatically before continuing.

"Well to properly tell my story, I have to start from the beginning." I grumbled to myself in annoyance and settled back down to listen.

"He is a drama king, so be patient," Frank whispered in my ear.

"Hey - I heard that!" Brendon stuck his tongue out and I had to choke back my laughter at the childish antics.

"You were meant to," Frank chortled.

"Well anyway...if all the rude interruptions are over with, I will explain what I found. So first of all, you guys should know that our faction of supporters is rapidly growing. The more the archangels attempt to take over, the more people flock to our side. We number in the hundreds now, and new members join every day."

"Hundreds of angels support my decision?" Frank gasped.

"Mhmm. To be honest, it's mostly just the newbies, and the ones who have always had a problem with the archangels, but it's better than nothing. Anyway, since we had so many bodies, Ray and I had the ingenious plan of hitting all the locked warehouses at once, instead of doing it one by one and risk getting caught multiple times. I was certain the information I was searching for had to be hidden away, because I didn't find anything about demon sickness in the Holy Library. Also, I noticed that more of the books had disappeared from the shelves, quite a few pertaining to Hell. The archangels probably aren't used to having a keeper of the word with such good memory, so they assumed I wouldn't notice."

"Never underestimate a pissed off librarian," Frank chuckled under his breath.

"That's right! So a week ago, we set our plan into motion. We got Vic and Kellin to fake a sighting of you, and a large majority of the archangels rushed off in pursuit. We kept the others busy with a wave of proposals which we knew they would shoot down, but it didn't matter as long as they were preoccupied. The rest of us broke into every warehouse we could find that had been warded, and copied down anything that seemed important."

"What did you find out about Mikey's illness?" I interrupted. This story was fascinating and all, but I needed to know if my brother could be saved or not.

"I was just getting to that. We found a book about the effects of leaving Heaven - or Hell, for too long. Apparently, we are kept alive by the essence of our homes, and beings that spend too long away fall ill, and eventually die. The longer you have spent in either place is directly related to how much time you have on Earth. Since Frank has been in Heaven for basically eleven years, he could survive for quite a while here, but the same isn't the case for you and Mikey. I know you have only been a demon for six months, and Mikey for even less time than that. He got sick first because his store of Hell's essence is basically nonexistent. I'm actually surprised you haven't been feeling any effects Gerard, because according to the book, it takes a year to build up a strong supply of essence."

"Actually I have..." I shifted my feet uncomfortably.

"What do you mean babe?" Frank's eyes shot up toward me, and I flushed with shame.

"I've been feeling off...I can never seem to get enough rest, and I have been really nauseous lately, just little things like that. I didn't want to mention it because we had so much else going on."

"You should have told me," he admonished gently.

"I'm sorry."

"I just don't understand how none of us could have known about this side effect? I mean, shouldn't this be common knowledge among most supernatural beings?" Frank questioned.

"I assume at one point it was, but now it is very rare for this to happen since angels haven't actually lived on Earth in centuries, and I don't think Lucifer has ever let his demons leave Hell for too long. I am not surprised that Lucifer hid the knowledge, because he is a notorious hoarder of secrets, but why the archangels did, I don't know. There are obscure cases where certain guardian angels have been unable to leave their clients sides, and to counterattack this, God made a serum called Verium; one can sip will replenish an angel's life source for a time without them having to return to Heaven. It's very difficult to make, and it is all locked away, but I managed to grab a vial during our warehouse break in. I don't know if it will work on Mikey since he is a demon, but it's worth a shot...." Brendon explained.

"What if it doesn't work?" I asked fearfully.

"Well there is a backup plan, but it's not pretty."

"Well let's go try this serum, and if it doesn't work, we will hear your other option," Frank suggested.

"Okay, but don't get your hopes up. In everything I read, I couldn't find a single instance of this being used on a demon, so it could hurt more than it helps."

"Desperate times..." I mumbled to myself. Brendon rummaged in his bag and emerged with a clear sparkling liquid in a glass jar.

"Maybe I should test it first, just in case it really does something bad. I don't want to put Mikey in danger." Brendon shrugged and handed the vial to me.

"Are you sure about this baby?" Frank grabbed my hand after I uncorked the bottle.

"I'm stronger than Mikey right now, and I don't see any other option."

Reluctantly, he removed his hand from mine, and I lifted the liquid to my lips. It smelled like fresh tilled soil on a rainy day mixed with something else I couldn't quite place. Before I could second guess myself, I took a small swig from the bottle and swallowed hastily. It didn't taste anywhere as good as it smelled, a bitter flavor stuck to my mouth, and I was tempted to go get some water to wash it out.

"So...do you feel anything?" Brendon asked.

"No - not yet..."

"Hmm...it's supposed to work instantly. The book said you should be feeling a strong sense of vitality and strength by now..."

"Maybe it takes longer to work on demons?" I was going to say more, but I was suddenly overcome with wracking pain so strong, I couldn't even breathe. I doubled over on the couch, groaning in agony.

"Gerard?" Frank's frantic voice reached my ears, but I couldn't respond, because I knew if I opened my mouth, I would scream.

Soft whimpers fell from my lips as Frank rubbed my back soothingly. My stomach twisted, and I vomited all the Veruim I had drunk, along with whatever else I had eaten, onto the floor. Once I stopped heaving, the burning agony was gone almost as soon as it had come, and I sat up, wiping a few tears from my eyes hastily.

"Well that's our answer..." I gasped out shakily.

"Fuck baby, don't scare me like that again..." Frank gathered me into his arms, and I snuggled deeper into his embrace. My limbs ached as if I had run a marathon, and all I wanted to do was rest.

"So what do we do now?" I turned my gaze to Brendon who was still observing me worriedly.

"That means we need to get into Hell...Lucifer also produced a serum called Livian, even though I don't know why because he never gives it out to his demons. There was a report I found in which an angel team discovered a body of one which had been out on assignment too long and had died of natural causes. I don't even know if he still makes it anymore...the book I found was hundreds of years old, but it is the only cure for Mikey. It is very similar to Verium, except is it supposed to be yellow in color. That's all I know..."

"Wait...I have seen that before! Bob and I got drunk one night, and we were poking around when we discovered a room full of strange objects, and I remember seeing bottles of yellow liquid. The storeroom was guarded, but Bob was fucking the girl in charge of it at the time, so she let us in. If we can just get there, I remember the exact location."

"But Gee, how are we going to do that? Brendon and I are angels, and you are on Hell's most wanted list at the moment. We can't risk it."

"What are you talking about Frank? If we don't do this, Mikey will die, and I won't be far behind. I refuse to give up now, not after all we have been through. I'll find a way."

"If Lucifer catches you, then you will wish you were dead. I can't lose you...there has to be another option," he argued back.

"We are out of time Frank. We don't the luxury of weeks to think of a better plan, so we are just going to have to risk it."

"Can't we just talk about this for a minute?" Frank pleaded.

"There isn't anything else to talk about. I'm going and that's final."

"Let me go instead. Angels have snuck into Hell before..." I could sense his argument getting weaker, and I pushed on steadfastly.

"You don't know where the serum is, and if they caught you, they would kill you on the spot."

"So you are allowed to risk your life and I'm not?" Frank's eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but I refused to let that sway me.

"You have already done more than enough for Mikey and I. This time, I need to be the one to do this. I have the best chance of making it out alive, and you know it."

"Let's just sleep on it and we will discuss it more in the morning," Frank begged.

"I'm not going to change my mind."

"I..." We were interrupted by a thud coming from Mikey's room, and I immediately rushed upstairs, begging my weakened legs not to give out on me now.

When I threw open the door, I found Mikey thrashing around on the ground while muttering quietly to himself.

"Mikes?" I sprang to his side, picking him up and holding him in my lap so he wouldn't hurt himself on the hard floorboards.

His limbs twitched violently, and I had to use all my strength to keep hold of him. His eyes snapped open and darted wildly around the room.

"Don't let them get me...please..." he whispered brokenly before clutching to my shirt for dear life.

"Nobody is going to get you Mikey. It's just me - your brother okay?" His convulsions eased, but he was still trembling erratically.

"What happened?" Frank kneeled down beside me and helped me lift Mikey back into bed.

"It's the hallucinations..." Brendon answered from the doorway.

"What does that mean?" I was afraid of the answer, but I had to know.

"It's one of the signs that his essence is running out...if we are going to get the Livian, it has to be soon. He doesn't have much time left." Tears welled in my eyes, and Frank had a stricken expression on his face.

This couldn't be happening...I refused to lose my brother this way. I would do anything in my power to save him, and if that meant risking death, or worse, by returning to Hell, then so be it.

Phew I finally finished this update! I have been working on it all week, but I basically have no free time right now, so I am having to write in small chunks instead of all at once like I usually do, but to make up for making you wait so long, you guys get a super long chapter (seriously I think this is the longest chapter I have ever written).

I am literally blown away by the response this story has gotten, and I want to thank each and every one of you who have commented, voted, and read this. This is my pride and joy right now, and it means the world to me that you are enjoying it as much as I am writing it.

This chapter is dedicated to HeatherFox16 for loving this story so much she read it in class and potentially embarrassed herself by fangirling in public. Ily <3

Stay beautiful

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