[Warning!]

this chapter contains some sensitive stuff like choking and panic attacks, i dont know if it TW or not but read carefully :) 

all of a sudden, i felt hayden's hand grip my throat and slam me back against the wall. pain shot through my back, and my breath caught in my chest as his fingers tightened. my heart pounded, and panic rushed over me.

'what did i say to you about having people over?' his voice was ragged, full of rage.

i gasped, struggling to pull in air. his eyes bore into mine, dark and unforgiving. fear curled in my stomach, twisting tighter with each second that passed. i tried to speak, but all that escaped was a choked sound, barely a whisper.

'hayden...' i managed, reaching up to grab his wrist, trying to pry his hand away. 'please...'

but his grip didn't loosen. his face hovered just inches from mine, and i could feel his hot breath on my skin.

'don't act like you didn't know,' he snarled, his voice dropping even lower. 'i told you—no one comes here without my say-so. did you forget?'

i shook my head weakly, tears stinging my eyes. the world around me started to blur, everything closing in as my vision dimmed. my fingers clawed at his arm, but it felt like trying to pull down steel.

he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against my ear. 'next time,' he hissed, 'there won't be a warning.'

finally, he released me, and i crumpled to the floor, gasping for air as i rubbed my throat. my pulse hammered in my ears, the fear and anger mixing in a toxic storm inside me.

i stayed there on the floor, shaking, trying to catch my breath. clearly, he was in one of those bad moods. it would pass, sooner or later. hopefully.

(Time Skip)

the next morning, i was afraid to go downstairs and see hayden, but there was no way out of it.

once i reached the end of the stairs, i saw hayden smiling sweetly at me, the room filled with the smell of pancakes.

'hey, darling!' he said, acting like nothing happened last night. 'i made breakfast before you head out to the studio again. hope you like it!'

he handed me a plate and kissed my forehead. 'oh, by the way, about last night... i'm sorry. i didn't mean to lash out like that. no hard feelings?'

i sighed quietly; he did this every time something happened.

'no hard feelings,' i said back, half meaning it.

he grinned, but there was no kindness in it.

'i have to go to work. have a great day,' he said, walking out the front door and driving his mercedes to work.

i finished eating and walked to my studio.

(Time skip)

once i entered my studio, i walked into the recording room and started to write some lyrics about hayden.

i had been working on a song about him, and it was my only way of freely expressing my words without feeling pressured to.

as i settled in the recording booth, i took a deep breath, still feeling the lingering soreness in my throat.

i wrote down some words and recorded some more, did a few other things too. it was a short day at work, but that was ok.

just then, i got a call from matt.

'hello?' i asked, waiting to see what he wanted.

'hey! you want to go get lunch?' he asked, his voice full of happiness, more than mine at least.

'sure, text me the place, i'll be there in five.'