"Hello, you're not answering voicemail, so I'm leaving you one. I just wanted to hop on in and say hola, hehe. I'm kidding, I prepared my speech."

"I found out you could get married online, just letting you know."

"I went off-topic. Anyway-"

"I just wanted to say . . . I love you, a bunch. A lot."

"I love how you giggle about cereal, how you go off on your favorite anime shows, I love how your first response to me talking is shut up."

"I think you're cool, or whatever."

"Oh God, time to dig my grave. Bye-bye!"