"Hey there."

"You sound happy, who buttered your egg roll?"

"You always find a way to make things weird."

"Jesus woman, I can't win with you."

"Whatever you stupid expired coupon."

"What the actual hell does that mean?"

"You're an annoying spam email."

"You're just an inconvenient fire drill."

"Says the unnecessary movie sequel."

"You're a half-chewed pencil."

"Okay, well you're just a Netflix buffer! Bam! Suck on that, August!"

"I fail to comprehend how you've become such a reprehensible fuck waffle!"

"You're a bowl of soggy cereal on a Monday morning!"

"You're a literal and total nincompoop."

"Go eat some kale!"

"You know, I just might. There's this little salad bar down the street. The reviews on Yelp aren't that bad although I saw reports of loose pigeons in the kitchen-"

"You're a fuck pastry."

"Whoa, buddy. Chill out now."

"Don't 'Woah buddy' me."

"Aw, you don't want to be called buddy? Don't you think we're taking this relationship too fast?"

"Screw you and your nonexistent relationship."

"You're hurting my feelings, Skye. Is that harsh talk necessary?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."