Far out on the horizon, way to the east of most things, and to the west of
few others, no one could hear as the cracking began. One by one the cocoa
beans began to split open, and little boys and girls crawled out. Less than
three minutes from the start of the crawling, twenty-five children were
standing up, looking at their new bodies. The first one to hatch was already
counting everyone, and he stopped once he noticed that there was one missing.

"Bing-Bong, Cling-Clong, rise," he said, wiping the chocolate goo off of
his face. "Where is brother Ding-Dong?"

Ing-Ongs named themselves based on who hatched first. Ding-Dong's
cocoa bean had cracked fourth, but he was still nowhere to be found. He
should have been the fourth to rise, but obviously that had not happened. The
other twenty-five Ing-Ongs all circled around his bean, which he was still
curled up inside of, not even attempting to sit up. All of the other Ing-Ongs
stared at him, obviously not in the mood for it. Aing-Aong approached first,
then grabbed Ding-Dong and pulled him out of the cocoa bean.

"What did you pull me out for?" whined Ding-Dong, his voice highpitched
and girlish. "I was sleeping!"

"We were born with a purpose and we need to fulfill it," said Bing-Bong.

"If you are in that stupid cocoa bean then there is no way for us all to fulfill it."

"What's the point? I was too slow. I'm not the king."

"But you are fourth in line," offered Cling-Clong.

"Oh, who cares?" sobbed Ding-Dong. "You're third in line! You don't
know the feeling. I have to murder three of you to get to be in charge. You only
have to kill two of them."

"I'm not going to kill any of them."

Aing-Aong rolled his eyes. "Do not argue, brothers. We have business to
attend to. Come along."

All twenty six Ing-Ongs rolled down the hill, leaving their cocoa bean
shells behind.

* * *

One year later, Ding-Dong stood in front of the royal mirror, combing his
blond hair with a shaped hard candy. He stared at his big brown eyes in the
mirror, thinking that they were just like the color of chocolate. That pleased
him because he loved chocolate very much, just as most Icecreampoplandians
did. After all, their entire planet was made out of candy and sugar-filled treats.
Ding-Dong loved being part of the royal family as well, because that meant that
he didn't even need to work for the candy, he just got to eat it.

He loved to eat candy.

"Ding-Dong!" called Eing-Eong from the doorway. "Aing-Aong is getting
impatient! The meeting with the Ing-Ungs starts in five minutes! Aing-Aung will
be here any second!"

Ding-Dong just rolled his eyes and adjusted his collar. He hated the Ing-
Ungs anyway - they all did. The only reason they were working together was
their common enemy - the Ing-Angs. Rumors had been spreading about the
Ing-Angs wanting to start a war and just days ago a messenger had come with
a letter saying that the Ing-Ongs must surrender now or the Ing-Angs will go to
desperate measures to steal their cotton candy crop. They had already stolen
all of the cotton candy from the Ing-Ungs, and the Ing-Ongs were beginning to
worry about what they needed it for.

After getting his cotton candy tie to sit perfectly straight, he walked
downstairs and took his seat at the table. He sat next to Cling-Clong and Eing-
Eong, just like he always did. Sometimes he wished that he could sit
somewhere else, but he knew that it would never happen. They had to sit in
order of their names, because that was tradition. No one knew why it was a
tradition, but it was.

"Ding-Dong! Why are you wearing a cotton candy tie?!" demanded Aing-
Aong, glaring down the table at him.

"Because I thought it would be funny," Ding-Dong shrugged. "You know,
we're fighting over cotton candy and here I am just casually wearing it? It's
pretty funny, I think." He looked around at his siblings, all of whom were
shaking their heads. "Isn't it?"

"No, Ding-Dong, it isn't. Take it off."

"But I don't want to!"

"I don't care if you don't want to. You can't be wearing that. The Ing-
Ungs are going to show up any minute and you know how sensitive they are."

"No, I don't," he shook his head, his greasy hair staying put. "It's just
cotton candy!"

"Cotton candy which they no longer have," said Bing-Bong. "How would
you feel if you didn't have cotton candy anymore?"

"I don't know!" cried Ding-Dong, throwing his arms into the air. "I have
cotton candy! I don't need to worry about not having it!"

"This whole meeting is being worried about not having it!" said Ging-
Gong.

"Because the Ing-Angs are going to take it from us? I don't think so.
When have they ever beat us before?!"

"We're all alive because the Ing-Angs killed our ancestors!" King-Kong
said.

Ding-Dong opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he noticed the
Ing-Ungs entering the room. Even though he was a loudmouth, he knew better
than to speak when they had guests. Aing-Aong could really be mean when he
wanted to, and King-Kong could seriously pack a punch. He kept silent, not
wanting to get in trouble.

"Welcome, Aing-Aung," said Aing-Aong, "and all of your brothers as well.
We are glad to have you in the castle today."

"Thank you," said Aing-Aung. "It's a pleasure to be here. I believe we
have a lot of business we need to discuss."

Ding-Dong rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Duh. Why else would we
invite you?"

"Ding-Dong! Watch yourself!" Bing-Bong snapped. "I apologize, Aing-
Aung. Ding-Dong just gets a bit restless sometimes."

In his own opinion, Ding-Dong never got restless at all. At least not
compared to the rest of the Ing-Ongs. Or, every Icecreampoplandian even. They
were all sugar-high all the time, so who cared if they were a bit hyper or
restless? Then again, Ding-Dong wasn't sure if this "sugar-high" thing was
even real on their planet. After all, the only thing that their bodies could
process was what other planets and civilizations referred to as "junk food".
"My own Ding-Dung is pretty thick-headed too," said Aing-Aung, his

booming laugh ringing through the dining hall. "We say that's why he was the
fourth born. D for dumb." He laughed again and all of the Ing-Ongs and Ing-
Ungs laughed along with him, except for Ding-Dong and Ding-Dung. "I hear
that on planet Earth sometimes they call stupid people ding-dongs. Perhaps
yours is where they got the name from?"

"No!" cried Ding-Dong, pounding his fists down on the table. "No! I am
not an idiot! I is smart! I is the smartest! You shut mouth now!"

Aing-Aong fumed. "Stop it, Ding-Dong! We are trying to have an
important meeting!"

"Yeah? Then why are we talking about me?! I'm not of enough
importance to be the center of a meeting!"

"No, you're not," said Bing-Bong. "We were trying to get the Ing-Ungs
happy, just as they were trying to do the same." Aing-Aung nodded at this, not
seemed offended in the least. This bothered Ding-Dong. "You know what?
We're getting sick of you doing this."

"Doing what?!"

"Screwing up everything!" said the other twenty-five Ing-Ongs in unison.
Ding-Dong opened his mouth to object, but he had nothing to say. It was
true. Over the last year since they had hatched he had done so much wrong
that it was hard to even find the right. This had never bothered him, nor had
anything he did, but the more things he did the more his brothers and sisters
hated him.

"He's an idiot, I think," said Cling-Clong.

"I know you are, but what am I?!" Ding-Dong shouted in retaliation. But
oh no, that was the wrong thing to say. Everyone in the room gasped, as Ding-
Dong had used one of the greatest insults/comebacks in the whole history of
Icecreampopland.

"Banish him!" cried Eing-Eong. "He doesn't deserve to be on our planet!"
Soon everyone was saying it along with him, and Aing-Aong was forced to
make the not-so-hard decision.

"Ding-Dong," he began solemnly, "you are banished from
Icecreampopland."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

No one came to see Ding-Dong leave.

It was an easy getaway for him, physically. Mentally he was far from
prepared for the journey ahead of him, but he knew that there was nothing he
could do. He deserved the punishment coming for him, he knew that he did.
No one should ever cross the line that he had, but then again, Ding-Dong
wasn't entirely certain that that was the reason Eing-Eong had called him out.
His brother was clever, he knew what he was doing.

The royal family works letter-to-letter in the order of importance. Bing-
Bong would only become the king if Aing-Aong was gone, and that worked all
the way down the line. Eing-Eong had four people to get rid of to be king, but
now he had already gotten rid of one. Ding-Dong would never tell anyone this
unless he knew for sure that it was true, but he had a feeling it was right.

Terrified of the world ahead, Ding-Dong took his time climbing into the
ice cream scoop ship. He knew that once he was gone there was no coming
back, but he had been banished. There was nothing that he could do. He could
go into hiding, like some people, but it just wasn't worth it. He wanted a life
where he was free to do anything he wanted. Be anyone he wanted. As he
buckled himself into the cockpit, Ding-Dong began to scroll through possible
planets, and he found the perfect place to do this. It was called Neptune, and it
was the only place he wanted to be.

However, when he pressed the launch button, the ship rejected the
location. Apparently it was too cold to land there or something? Ding-Dong
thought this was completely ridiculous. He was in a ship made of ice cream, for
Pete's sake! Shaking his head, Ding-Dong scrolled through the list once more,
and this time found somewhere absolutely perfect.

In this country, on this planet, you could do anything you wanted. You
could date anyone you want, dress however you want, do anything you want,
commit all the crimes you want (if you did it quietly), and in some places, even
kill anyone you want! Ding-Dong knew right away this was the place that he
wanted to go.

America.

______________________________________________

A/N: So sorry that this wasn't updated yesterday! Wattpad was giving me some serious troubles with uploading it on my computer. I couldn't even get into the editor. I'm actually typing this from mobile as we speak!! It was the only way I could get the chapter to upload, and it was a catastrophe! I eventually had to convert the chapter to a pdf, then to a docx, then copy-paste all of that here on mobile AND reformat it. Hope that it was worth the wait, because if it wasn't then I spent a load of my time on nothing! Hehe.

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