Tags: Fluff / Friends to Lovers/University

Word Count: 4k words

"Rudra," she sighs. "Please, don't make this difficult for me. I've so much to do, so much to think about and I don't even know where to start; the house rent, thousands of bills, my tuition fee, just. . . .everything! I don't -"

"I can help,"

"No! I won't put this on you, not this too." Sati declares adamantly whilst nodding her head in a determined manner.

Rudra stares at her, quiet. He doesn't say a word because he knows she isn't like this. She is a rose and it's her problems pressuring her to change into thorns.

"Do you realise the number of years we've been friends for?"

Sati asks him, he thinks its a rhetorical question but still shakes his head in a no because yes, he definitely remembers that fortunate day when she walked into his life out of nowhere like an unimaginably beautiful storm, a wave; so spontaneous yet so balmy.

He shakes his head in a no because yes, he remembers the exact amount of time they have been friends for; six years and seven months.

Six years and six months for the time he has been in love with her.

"Do you realise how much you've helped me since?" Sati questions again, and Rudra remains silent because he doesn't realise or remember when and where he ever helped her, he doesn't want to.

Sati's voice breaks as she proceeds with her argument, "I don't know how to keep up with your benevolence anymore, your favours, your kindness, your help, I don't know how to repay you!"

"You don't have to," Rudra says. "I won't ask for any kind of payment, Sati. I'm your friend," he says, pausing at the lie.

"I don't want you to be alone." He completes truthfully.

Sati shakes her head, tears of frustration pooling in her eyes.

"No! I will do this alone. It's my life and these are my problems, I don't care if I am on my own and will be for the rest of my life. The only thing I care about is devoiding you of participating in my problems. I'll fix them myself." Sati states looking at her friend in the eyes, her vision momentarily blurring from the tears.

"Sat-"

"Let's e-end this day right here, ok?" her voice is shaky, as if she's only somehow keeping her tears at bay.

"But -"

"Please,"

Rudra sighs yet again but does as he's told. With one last glance towards his friend, he turns around towards the door and doesn't look back until he reaches his own house which is directly opposite to that of Sati's.

He takes out the left out bills from his pocket once he's sitting on his couch- the bills Sati didn't even know that existed, the bills he had already paid off anonymously by bribing the official through his phone and asking him of keeping his mouth shut.

He knows it's wrong, whatever he did and whatever he is doing but then he realises that he isn't even guilty of doing that wrong. Not when this wrong will make something right in the life of his beloved.

He tears up those bills but pauses when he's about to tear another small paper with them.

'You look cute while smiling' .The note says. He half-smiles remembering writing it a month ago at one of their outings but never actually giving it to her.

He tears it anyway.

With one last glance at the house opposite to his, he shuts the blinds of his windows, sets the alarm for tomorrow and retires for the day.

*

It's six in the morning when a yawning Rudra checks his phone, sitting on his bed, languidly rubbing his eyes.

He rakes a hand through his hair simultaneously making his way towards his balcony. The lights are still off, he notices, of the house in front of his.

She will be late.

He quickly gets up and freshens up, wears a dress shirt and trousers with a waistcoat adorning his upper half. He then gels back his hair into a slight quiff and slightly trims the sides to his scruff.

Once satisfied, he runs down to his kitchen to cook some Indian breakfast which he misses terribly here in London.

He prepares an extra meal for the girl living in front of his house and places it into a box, outside her door and drives to the University.

He passes thousands of students and hundreds of teachers, responds to their greetings and continues his way towards the class. It takes him half an hour, typical. In front of him, he sees, there are all the faces he has known for a year and a half now, in the back of his mind, however, he thinks about the lotus who isn't in between these roses.

She is late.

A loud tap on the table and all the chatter dies down quickly. He eyes them coldly but then smiles, a typical habit of his.

The students laugh but then take their seats.

"Good morning, let's jump to page number 394," he announces without waiting for the students to reciprocate and looks as all the people ranging from twenty years to twenty-two obey him, a man of twenty-eight years himself, opening up the pages of the book 'Psychology for undergraduates'.

It has been a year and a half since he left his year-old job at the school and joined as an assistant professor at the University of London, completing his graduation at the young age of twenty-five.

His eyes once again find their way to the door and stays when he notices his friend standing there with her hands on her knees, half bent, huffing out the breathlessness from her lungs; panting.

She looks up at him and grins and his lips instantly curl into a half-smile. He scowls to cover it up.

"You're late," he states with his arms crossed over his chest and one foot slightly ahead of others.

"Sorry, sir." The answer comes.

He doesn't spare her another glance and simply gestures her to join the rest of the class.

1 year later,

"Rudra,"

"Hmm?"

Rudra looks up from his laptop when Sati's call doesn't succeed with some words.

"What happened?" he asks with lines of concern spreading across his forehead.

Sati sighs. "I think I'm going to fail this year."

It's an unrealistic statement, he knows. Getting the highest grades in class and still failing?

"Care to elaborate?"

"Rudra, I can't afford this anymore; the tuition fee. I know it's the last year of my under graduation but I'm not able to do it anymore." She admits, looking down. Her eyes not meeting his and he glances at her, quiet.

He struggles to say something, anything but nothing comes to his mind.

He then takes a long pause, a long haul of silence and says, "Sati, I - I'm sorry to hear that."

Sati's head immediately snaps to meet his eyes, an expression of confusion evident on her face. "What?" she quizzes lowly, her voice portraying disbelief and hurt.

He doesn't let her deep hazel eyes affect him in any way. But he still sighs.

"Sati, I - I don't know what to do anymore. You know I'm always here for you but you made it quite clear the last time that you don't want any kind of help from me so now I'm at a loss of what to say or do."

He explains in a soft tone, words albeit seeming salty.

No, he isn't keeping a grudge of what she had said a year ago, never, but is rather reminding himself to let her breathe. Maybe she's just sharing her problems only wanting some verbal solution, and maybe she wants a concrete help but he wants her to voice it so that he doesn't have to pressurise her into anything.

He knows that for her self respect is everything. She doesn't even demand money from her family back in India because of this one reason (and also that one feud with them that she doesn't allow herself to think about), and so he wants to give her as much freedom as she wants to choose what she actually desires.

"Rudra, I....I'm sorry for the last time. I never meant to hurt you. You know how I get when I'm under stress. I'm really so-"

"Sati," he interrupts, standing up and crossing the distance from his bed to the sofa where she sat.

"Stop apologizing, please."

His thumb brushes away the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes, he continues. "I don't want your apology, ok? I'm just confused. I don't want to suffocate you with my care and Sati, I - I don't know how to help you if you won't let me."

He hears Sati inhale a stuttered breath at the statement.

"Well. . . What if I let you this one time?" she asks him, voice shaken and hesitant as if she's asking for something forbidden. But it's ok, right now she doesn't know that he's willing to give everything to her, including himself.

He smiles.

"Then let's stop your crying and make use of these tickets and go to the movie awaiting us so that you can begin your new semester with a fresh start."

Sati grins through her tears and Rudra wishes to keep that face forever in his eyes.

*

"Hey, Rudra,"

"Yes?"

"What if someone sees us together? I mean one of my classmates. They won't know that we're just friends, they'll instantly come to the wrong conclusion."

Wrong.

It hurts when Sati puts it like that because, in his eyes, his love for her is the purest thing in his life.

He shakes his head, still.

"No one will see, Sati, not many youngsters go to that part of the city, specifically that theatre and it's not like anything is going on between us. So relax."

His heart pains but Sati smiles, albeit seeming forcibly.

It's enough, he decides.

1 year later,

"Rudra!"

The voice comes before the girl does and he barely has any time to prepare himself before he is catching a wild mess of limbs, a lightweight mess but heavy enough to send him tumbling back onto his bed.

"What got you so excited?" he asks her, chortling a surprised laugh. She just beams in return.

His heart warms seeing her so happy, all rainbows and sunlight.

"You won't believe what happened."

He laughs to himself. Sati in his arms is unbelievable enough for him, what more can't he believe?

He gets up from the bed, taking Sati's hand with him and takes her to the kitchen, preparing a coffee for both of them. Coming to think of it, he notices a slight change in Sati from last year. She's more at his house than she's ever at hers.

Not that he's complaining.

"Now tell me," he says smiling, handling a cup of coffee to Sati and watches as she elates once again.

"Today the headmaster offered me the job of a graduate assistant. He said I'll be paid per hour's work and also permitted me to start my post-graduation at the side! Do you realise what this means? I can pay the tuition fee myself!"

Rudra smiles wholeheartedly, actually proud of the girl standing in front of her.

"This is such great news, Sati," he says, his hand automatically reaching to cradle her face.

"I'm so proud of you!" He notices that Sati doesn't flinch or protest when his hand comes in contact with her cheek, rather keeps looking at him with a smile adorning her face and a shine swimming in her eyes.

He strokes her cheek affectionately and decides it's the best look on her, the look of pure happiness.

*

"What do you think of this dress? Don't you think I'm looking too fat in this one?" Sati asks Rudra, scrunching up her nose in distaste and gazes at her friend through the mirror.

Rudra smiles softly, shaking his head.

You look breathtaking.

"You look fine,"

"Really? But why can't I see that 'fine' me in this mirror?"

Because you're not me and being me means loving all of you.

"Because you're simply dense."

1 year later,

"Rudra. . . ."

Rudra looks up from his books as he hears the melodic voice.

This time he is in her house, in her room. He raises his eyebrows in a questioning manner as if to ask what she wants to say.

Sati continues.

"It's raining again," she whines and he laughs.

"It's London, Sati, I don't know what else you expect."

"I expect many things, Professor Rudra. For a start, I expect you to take me out for dinner, then congratulate me for becoming an assistant professor and lastly tell me how do you feel when everyone calls you 'Professor Rudra'; asks 'Professor Rudra, can I go and use the washroom?'"

Rudra laughs loudly at the last part, keeping the book down on the table beside him. He looks at Sati, fondly, resting his hands under his chin.

"Firstly, my dear friend, they are not primary school students, they don't ask me when they go to the washroom. Secondly, no one calls me 'Professor Rudra' because half of them are unable to pronounce my name, apparently it's too Indian for them."

Sati huffs at the answer, curling her lips into a small pout.

"Well that isn't fair, perhaps your name is too Indian but that shouldn't mean that they won't even try to pronounce your name. If only I was in that class. You have such a beautiful name, I would've never stopped calling your name," she sighs sadly but then grins, "Just like I don't stop calling your name now, right, Rudra?" She asks giggling and his heart stutters at those words.

Sati likes his name.

1 year later,

"Rudra,"

"Rudra!"

"Get up Rudra, please."

Sati cries through her words as she urges the person laying in front of her on a hospital bed, to get up and talk to her.

"Rudra. . . ."

She trails off and rests her ear on his chest for the fiftieth time in the past five minutes just to feel his beating heart and convincing herself that it's ok, nothing has happened to him.

It isn't convincing enough, though.

*

Rudra feels something soft pressing against his head and stirs from his deep sleep.

He flutters open his eyes just to find Sati kissing his head repeatedly, soft, airy pecks.

"Sati?" He croaks, his voice coming out huskier than usual.

"Rudra, oh my God, you're ok. Y-you scared me so much! Do you know you've been passed out from past two days? I was so worried." Sati pauses her rambling and waves her hand over his eyes.

"You can see my hand right? Tell me how many fingers I'm holding?

"Three-"

"Yes, three. Thank God you're ok, I don't know what I would've done without you."

And with that her hands began caressing his hair, her eyes searching desperately for any signs of uneasiness.

Rudra finds himself chuckling.

"I'm sorry, Rudra, I know you're being weirded out by me but Rudra, it's not in my control. I have to do this ok?" she asks pausing to place a small kiss on his cheeks and he blushes slightly, "I've to make sure that you're ok. This is just instinctive I'm not trying to. . ." Sati struggles with her words, "This isn't intentional Rudra. I'm just-"

"Worried, I understand."

"Yes," Sati sighs into a smile and Rudra smiles with her.

1 year later,

"Rudra. . . "

Sati says in a hushed tone.

"Professor, Sati, Professor."

"Oh yes, ehm. . . so, Professor Rudra, "

Rudra almost smiles at the addressing. He looks up at her, to his side where they both are sitting in the staff room with all the other staff members.

He raises his eyebrows and she grins at him and hands him a note from under the table.

He takes it quietly and unfolds it into his palm.

I'm getting old :(

The chit says and he chokes on a laugh, trying to conceal it with makeshift coughs.

"Professor, here take some water." Professor Lydia, who's sitting beside him says, handing him a glass of water and he nods in gratitude.

He then glances at Sati who is now supporting a pout.

It doesn't help that this time a real fit of cough invades his throat letting Lydia pat his back, rubbing it.

He doesn't know how to say her to stop without sounding rude and so he doesn't say anything, just tries to stop his coughs himself.

A moment he's coughing and a second later someone is putting a throat lozenge in his mouth instantly relieving him from the coughs.

He looks at Sati to thank her but finds her standing up and walking out of the room, instead.

He excuses himself from the questioning glances and prying eyes of his colleagues and walks outside the room too. He looks for Sati all around the corridor but is unable in finding her.

He dulls out for the rest of the day.

*

"Sati," he calls as he reaches his home knowing that Sati, in fact, is right here in his house.

What he doesn't expect is to find Sati sleeping in his bed, wearing his sweater which is two sizes too big on her, cuddled up with his blankets and pillows.

He thinks he'll tear up at the sight but doesn't make any noise, afraid of waking her up.

He goes down to his bathroom to freshen up and then goes to the kitchen to cook something for himself as well as his guest. However, as soon as he enters the kitchen he sees five different Indian dishes gracing his kitchen counter, one of them being a dessert and for a moment, he stills. His mouth hangs open in disbelief and waters simultaneously.

He is just about to go to his friend and ask her all about this when he feels a presence behind him.

He turns around and finds Sati leaning at the door with her arms crossed over her chest and one leg on top of the other.

A sleepy, ruffled look graces her face.

Guess he wasn't that quiet.

She raises her eyebrows to question the confusion and surprise on his face.

"Yes, Rudra?" she then asks verbally and he's shaken out of his reverie.

He takes her in, her appearance and sees how much she looks his. Standing like this, with his sweater almost swallowing her. Her hair is a mess but he isn't complaining, not when she's smelling like him. She is wearing his pyjamas too and he can't get enough of her.

This is the best she's ever looked.

"You look m-"

"Messy? I know."

"-mesmerizing."

"Oh,"

"Yeah."

"Well. . . ." Rudra watches as she gulps thickly, a light shade of pink rising to her cheeks.

"D-did you taste the food?" Sati asks and Rudra shakes his head in a no.

"Well, you should taste it," she says but then frowns. "Actually, let me taste it first, what if it's bad? I know you must be thinking that why I haven't tasted it yet but it was just-"

"Shh. . ." Rudra shushes her by placing his finger on her lips. He then takes a spoon full of the food and brings it to her mouth. "Open your mouth," he demands to nudge the spoon to her lips and she immediately parts up her lips, eating the food.

"It's. . . tasty." Her voice muffles as she squeaks and Rudra suppresses a smile.

"Let me taste it then," he says and then takes a bite of the food, using the same spoon and internally moans at how good it tastes but doesn't let Sati see that.

"It's not that bad." He feigns distaste and watches as Sati's jaw drops open. He snickers under his hand.

Sati swats at his arm.

"Oh really? That's what you have to say, 'not that bad'?"

She hits him again and he rubs at the spot, grinning.

"You know what, go get Professor Lydia to make you these Indian dishes. You'll definitely love them just like you loved the water that she handed you and oh, how can we forget about that professional back massage, 'Professor, here take some water,' " Sati mimics in a high pitched tone and thick accent which has Rudra laughing in no time.

Without thinking anything he just pulls her to him; catching her in his embrace.
Sati, on the other hand, pretends to struggle free.

"Then please be a darling and teach Professor Lydia how to cook this food."

1 year later,

"Rudra,"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you not looking at me?"

Sati asks him in a honeyed, childlike voice and he instantly looks at her, extremely endeared and enamoured.

"Yes, love, - uh, Sati?" The word just slips out of his tongue and he curses internally.

"Why, what's wrong with 'love'?" Sati asks, pouting and he chuckles seeing her face.

"Stop pouting!" he insists.

Sati adds up a frown to her pout.

"No, first call me 'love' !" she demands and he bites back his smile.

He never thought it was possible; his love increasing anymore for Sati but right now, at this moment, he realises that he has just fallen in love with her all over again.

"Stop pouting, love," he says amending his statement and the girl in front of her beams.

"So, Sati," this time it's him asking a question, a question that makes his heart sink and chest pain.

"Yes, love?" she responds and his eyes mists a little.

Stop being so lovely, I am going to lose you.

"When are you - " he clears his throat and shuts his eyes. "When are you going to marry?"

He peeks from under his hand and sees Sati's confused face.

He sighs.

He sighs but not with an air of sadness to it.

The thing is that he isn't sad anymore.

He isn't sad that Sati doesn't know about how he feels for her, of how he is just a friend to her. He doesn't feel the need to put a halt to this beautiful relationship that they have.

A relationship that consists of Sati staying at his home for almost twenty hours out of twenty-four, a relationship where they eat food together, go to movies together and take strolls together at the side of the Thames.

A relationship where he helps her choosing her dresses flicks away her insecurities by telling her how beautiful she looks and sometimes even helps her in zipping up her dresses if she is unable to do so herself.

He doesn't want to end a relationship in which hugs are as common as high fives and ranting is equal to voicing the wedding vows.

He is content and he knows it.

But still, having a conversation with her about who she's going to marry in the near future, is difficult.

Therefore, he sighs but not sadly. Instead, he feels his chest constrict and feels like he can't breathe. Everything is this difficult for him.

"Are you, are you seeing anyone?" he asks with his shaky voice and all of the sudden, Sati's face changes into an unamused expression.

"Yes, Rudra, I am seeing you. Why would I see someone else when you're right in fron- "

"No Sati, that's not wha -"

"I know what you mean Rudra," Sati deadpans.

"Oh," Rudra exclaims, pausing for a moment. He inhales deeply.

"I just. . . Sati, I just want to know if you're thinking of marriage. Are you ready for it?" he quizzes, stumbling over his words and looks at her when he hears her releasing a breath of relief.

"I'm ready when you are, what kind of question is that?" she mocks, chuckling. He frowns.

He gestures to himself, "Me?"

"Well, my dear Rudra, if I'm marrying you then obviously I'll be ready when you are."

Rudra is sure, he is having a heart attack now.

"I. . . you're really talking about me?"

Sati rolls her eyes and comes and sits in front of him.

"Who else, Rudra?" Her voice is soft this time and he simply can't believe it when she cradles his face in her palms, her touch so soft and tender.

He wants to cry.

"We've known each other for how many - twelve years now?"

Twelve years and five months, he thinks but doesn't say anything.

"Have you ever seen me with someone else in that course of time?" she asks and he shakes his head in a no.

"Well, then have you ever seen me cancelling up our meeting plans or shortening the length of our phone calls?" she questions again and he once again shakes his head in a no.

"Then what gave you the idea that I would want to marry someone else Rudra? What gave you the hint that I'm seeing someone else when I have you right in front of me?" Sati asks and that's when he understands her answer to his previous question.

"Weren't those numerous nights that I spent sleeping in your bed in your shirt enough to tell you that I will only do that with you?"

"Those uncountable hours that I stayed at your home instead of mine and the times that I asked for your help even after knowing how much I hated depending on someone, wasn't that proof enough?"

"And wait, how can you even forget that day when I got jealous of Professor Lydia who is ten years older than you, Rudra? Do I have to explain myself anymore?" she asks and laughs to herself while he stares at her, dumbfounded.

"Say something, Rudra." Sati insists, threading her fingers through his hair.

He revels under the touch.

"Tomorrow?" he croaks out, struggling.

"What?"

"Let's get married tomorrow,"

Sati laughs at his words, shaking her head.

"Professor Rudra, don't you think we should give this good news to Professor Lydia first?"

1 year later,

"Rudra,"

"Yes?"

"It's official, I'm old now. Twenty-nine years Rudra, twenty-nine. Oh my God, I mean just look at me, I don't even want to smile anymore. The speed at which I'm ageing I don't think it will take long enough for my teeth to start falling out -"

Rudra bites back a smile as Sati continues her ranting.

He tries to concentrate on the book in his hand, reading it again and again, wishing to teach all his students effectively.

He will never know how Sati manages to keep her professional and personal life different and still be the favourite professor of all the students, how she takes care of him as well as herself so efficiently.

And just like that, his thoughts once again run back to her and this time he finds himself unable to look down at the book in his hands.

How can he focus on anything else when he has his whole world sitting here in front of him, cross-legged on his bed.

He gives her a lopsided smile.

Next, he pauses for a few moments and then stands up from his chair and ascends to Sati who cranes her neck to the side to glance at him with a cute, clueless expression adorning her face.

He bends slightly and gently cups the side of her face and draws slow circles on her skin with his thumb under which she revels in by closing her eyes.

He lets his lips gently brush against the top of her head and slide down to the side of it.

She doesn't open up her eyes and so he kisses at the delicate skin of her eyelids, her lashes tickle his lips. He descends to her cheeks, kissing them softly. He halts as he reaches down towards her mouth and glances up at her with a smile in his eyes.

"Let's not take the risk, what if your teeth fall out?"