86.
chapter eighty-six:
the blacks of
my room and
the golden hue
of happiness personified.

"Um, hello, Father." 

A brief frown flitted across his tanned face, quickly replaced by a strange, warm smile. "You can refer to me as anything you want. But what would you like me to call you?" 

I shifted on my heels and felt a soft pat on my back. A knot seemed to settle in the pit of my stomach, seeing him in the flesh and being unable to talk back. When did Ash turn into a coward? Gulping down a lump that had formed in my throat, I replied, "Ash." 

If that were humanly possible, his smile widened. He stepped back and opened the door wider. "Now that we're on a term of endearment basis, may I welcome you back home, Ash?" 

I nodded lowly, hoping I could get away and dig myself a hole in my room to hide in as soon as I stepped foot into the household. 

"Cool! Why don't you come in too, Miss—?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Serena, sir. Serena Yvonne, Ash's—um, friend." 

"Miss Yvonne, it is! I must thank—" 

The rest of the conversation drowned into the background as he stepped back and let us in. Taking larger steps, I managed to make my way to the foot of the staircase when I heard another voice—one I was mostly mad at for not warning me about the predicament I had gotten myself into. 

"Don't I at least deserve a hello, sweetie?" 

I had been the one begging for hellos all along. Oh, the irony. The tables had turned. 

"Hey, Mum. I'm going to my room—" 

I didn't waste another minute and just ran up the stairs. A strange agony gnawed at my insides, turning my vision into a black-and-white, low-quality picture from the 1900s. Only when I was inside the confines of my room did it strike me that I had left Serena alone. 

"Oh my Arceus, I left my girlfriend alone—" I mumbled foolishly and retraced my steps downstairs, my pace decreasing with each step. I almost choked when I heard Serena giggling softly along with the manly laughter of my father. 

"He still does that, but honestly, he's the sweetest and most uplifting guy I have ever had the privilege to come across, Mister Ketchum." 

The knot in my gut twisted. What are they discussing about me?

"I really hope he would at least look me in the face while talking, if not forgive me." 

I almost missed the melancholy in his voice, focusing instead on the blue of Serena's head in front of the sofa. 

"I'm sure he will." 

There was a pause that seemed to last for hours before Serena spoke up again. A clank of dishes and the screech of a chair being pushed back later, her voice came. 

"I think I'll go check up on him—" 

Without lingering for a moment longer, I ran up the stairs as quietly as I could and locked the door behind me. A minute later, her knocks vibrated against my back. She can't see me like this.

"Ash, it's me. Open up." 

No.

"Ash, please?" 

I sighed, a visual image of her ocean-blue eyes filling my mind at the sound of her pleading tone. Taking a deep breath, I twisted the knob, and the door opened with a click. The next instant, I was looking into those very orbs I had envisioned. 

Perfect blue.

The world filled with color when she threw herself into my arms the minute the door closed behind her. There was the pale grey of my room, the blacks and splashes of cream of the objects and paraphernalia. Finally, the golden hue of my happiness. 

I didn't realize how much I needed the embrace until she backed away. Her eyes never left mine, except for the one second they flitted down to my jaw, but they quickly found their way back. 

The very gaze was enough to break me. My knees buckled, vision blurring, and strong feelings of regret and guilt washed over me like a hit to the chest—to the very weak point of the ribcage where every bone thinned. 

"Hey, shh," she murmured. Whatever she saw running down my cheeks seemed to trouble her, judging by her expression and how her hands flew to cup both sides of my face. "I'm right here, shh. It's alright. You talked to him, and he's here for real. No more bullying or missing him. He's even ready to swear—" 

Swear? 

My fists clenched, and I tore my gaze away from her sympathetic eyes. "Swear, my foot!" I hissed, my vocal cords working just a little hoarser than I expected them to. "He leaves us all of a sudden, dumps the entire responsibility on a ten-year-old, and is gone for a decade or so! All of a sudden, the subject of your nightmares shows up and says, 'Hey, son.' Would you accept that, Serena?" 

Serena shifted awkwardly, a frown pulling down her lips. "I'm not asking you to forgive him completely, Ash." I opened my mouth to protest, but she put her pointer finger to my lips. "I don't wish to be the bad guy here, but there's this psychological fact that states that guys forget but never forgive. You don't have to either, but just give him a second chance. 

"Weren't you the one who wanted a second chance with me, too? Didn't I?" 

A bizarre heaviness weighed me down, and I slumped onto the surprisingly well-kept bed. It didn't seem to have been slept on, either. 

My mind reeled back to all those times I had woken up to a puddle of my own sweat, to those moments when I despised going to school and camps, to when I'd do nothing but drive around aimlessly, being a minor, with all the stacked-up sad songs in my playlist. 

"Don't give up till it's over, Ash. That's what you told me. And I'll always stick with you, regardless of what happens." 

A question came afresh, and I struggled to voice it through the strange contraction in the back of my throat. "What about that performing opportunity you got in Hoenn?" 

I peered at her through my fake glasses, reluctantly. However, the blazing look was back in her face as she held my gaze firmly. 

"I'm ready to let it go if you want me by your side, Ash."