84.
chapter eighty-four:
no, I don't
see why life
throws heavy boulders
after sunlit days.

"Ash? Ash! Ash, are you there? Are you alright? Ash, please reply! Ash!"

My nerves threatened to pop, each beat passing with terse agony. My knees felt weak, the ground below cracking from an earthquake.

The corners of his wrinkled eyes lit up, his chapped lips quirking in a smile. A facade, I gulped, when he opened them to utter the words in the same voice I had forced myself to bury deep within. 

"Ash, my boy—" 

Something in me went out. 

"NO!" I shouted, backing away. Hands shivering, I didn’t stop until I hit the cool metal of my car. Managing to open the driver’s door, I scrambled inside. The man's face fell, but nevertheless, he took a step closer. 

"STAY AWAY IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME ALIVE!" 

My threat seemed to sink in, for he withdrew back into the doorway. A familiar figure peeked over his shoulder—her chocolate-brown eyes, the very same shade as mine, melting whimsically. She tried to speak, but I immediately lowered myself into the car, not bothering to look back as everything around me blurred, save Serena’s voice calling out and the sound of the car in motion.

The back of my throat felt constricted, a faint sign of a headache. 

I didn’t realize what was happening or where I was headed. Unbidden glimpses of the worst nightmares I had seen in the daylight raced one after another in my mind, pausing only at the meticulously vivid parts I had buried six feet under. At some point, and in some place, the call was cut, and the car pulled up. 

The thin line between reality and nightmares spun around a yarn of melancholy, thickening with each revolution. Then came the pang of guilt, of fragility poking harshly at my insides. What am I living for?

If an earthquake struck, I would be the least bothered. Everything beneath my sneakers had evaporated like hot water, leaving me tripping over an empty void.

My phone rang endlessly, the only sound other than the trucks zooming past. So, I typed a quick message to Serena and shut it down. 

You: dw about me...

Sagging into my seat, I placed my arm over my eyes. Everything blacked out as the adrenaline dissipated from my veins, and I fell into an endless sleep of misery—welcoming nightmares and unbidden dreams.

The familiar vibration of the engine under my fingers felt rejuvenating. 

I was on my way to the Saffron City Airport—to catch a flight to May’s. She was the only one who could provide me with a home.

And the only one who would not look at me with pity.

To my ill luck, the next emergency flight cost more than I had on hand and wasn’t scheduled until two days later. With no alternative, I spent the evening and the next hurled up in my car, surviving on whatever snacks I had. My phone remained dead the entire time. Better off that way.

On the third evening, I was caught off guard by a pair of heart-stopping ocean-blue eyes. Even through the windshield, their depth swirled and welcomed me. The minute our gazes met, my breath hitched, and a sob echoed around the car. Before I knew it, the door was thrown open, and a much-needed hug ensued. 

"Oh my god, Ash. You had me worried sick!" Serena exclaimed, her hands flying to cup my cheeks, their warmth imprinted on my skin. I melted into her touch, drawing as much comfort as I could. 

"Ash, I just want you to know—you’re the best." 

"I’m not," I said dryly, leaning my forehead against hers. "I’m a runaway now, Serena." 

"We can fix it, and we will." She shifted and smiled, her cheeks flushing with reassurance. 

"But... why—why would you come all the way from Kalos?" 

Serena looked abashed, her eyes widening comically. "All I had to do was change the date and destination of my previous booking. Why would you assume I wouldn’t?"

It did the trick, and whatever little control I had snapped. Pulling her against my chest, I crashed my lips on hers. Fireworks erupted in my stomach, and I kept going until we were desperate for breath. 

"A-Ash, let’s get back to Pallet," Serena suggested once we caught our breath. She took my hand gently, as if one wrong move would break me. Which it might. 

"I can’t," I protested weakly, my words fading into low whispers as her lips quirked into a compassionate smile. 

"This time’s different, Ash. I’m here with you, and I’ll stay." She lifted our intertwined hands. Heat flooded my cheeks. 

"But he’s back." 

"Ash—" 

"I thought he left us forever!" 

"Yes—" 

"But he’s there, all skin and bones!" 

"Ash—!" 

"The worst part is Mother seems totally fine!" 

Serena did something out of the box—she slapped my face with my own hand. It wasn’t hard, but it stung nonetheless. 

"I’m sorry," she apologized instantly, pecking the stinging spot. "But you had to shut up, and I didn’t want to snog you again. My pulse is high as it is." 

My gaze lowered, and I bit back the chuckle threatening to escape. "Right." The next instant, her warm palm rested on the spot she had slapped. 

"Ash, all you’ve known about your dad after he left—" I cringed at the words, but she continued in a strong voice. "Was everything your mind convinced you to believe. The nightmares, the fears, the delusions. 

"Look, let’s hear him out before jumping to conclusions, yeah? I mean, I’m sure Missus Ketchum wouldn’t have gone down without a fight, right? If she’s okay with it, there must be a reason." 

"But I—I don’t know how to face him," I admitted, awkwardly kicking the dirt with my foot. My gaze was forced back to her when she angled my face upward. 

"You don’t know how to face him alone. I’m here for you. We can even call Gary—" 

"Not him, no." 

Serena sighed. A pang of guilt hit me—she was doing so much to better my life, yet I kept retreating into a dead end. "I’m sorry." 

"Please don’t be." She breathed deeply, her expression blazing with determination as she dragged me to the passenger seat. "Have you eaten anything these past few days?" 

"What?" I asked, perplexed by the sudden question. 

"I mean, I was living off snacks from the airport and the macaroons you gave me back in Kalos—" 

An intense look replaced her previous softness. Without a word, she opened the door to the passenger seat. 

"Diner it is then." 

"Huh?" 

"Get in." 

"Pardon?" 

"You heard me. I’m driving this Kantonian baby of yours."