52.
chapter fifty-two:
why does she
get hurt?
</3

I felt warmth fill me up as soon as I entered the common room.

The air outside had been damp. Despite working out, I felt rather chilled on the way back.

I sighed and was about to take my hood off when I spotted a commotion near the stairwell. I sauntered between people and managed to blend in with the crowd. What I saw there made my heart clench in my chest. I took a few paces forward, but someone stopped me by the shoulder.

"They'll deal with it," I heard Misty say. I tried to squirm away from her, but she caught my arm instead. "Don't blow your own cover!"

I sighed in defeat and turned away as a chorus of voices blended in the background.

"Let's take her to Nurse Joy!"

"Hang in there, girl!"

"Just a little bit!"

I slumped into one of the couches nearby and waited till the commotion died before reprimanding Misty. However, we only began cutting each other off. "Why wouldn't you let—"

"You said you hate—"

"I don't—"

"Her, and she heard—"

"Misty," I tried firmly, but the girl didn't stop.

"That. You don't wish to suddenly be caring for her, do you? You don't wish to hurt her after she's healed up from the injury, do you?"

"Misty, you know I don't hate her," I sighed tiredly. The girl shook her head and remained silent for me to continue. "And I actually came here to try, trying, attempting to, um, make a move and, er, reunite with her—" I stammered horribly and facepalmed. Panic rose through me with every word I uttered. "Forget it. What happened? I enter the common room and see her sprawled on the floor in a dead faint! Is she okay?!"

"I hope. I was working on the French assignment when I heard a thud. Turns out she collapsed before she got to the end of the stairs," Misty croaked. Her answer did not sit well, and I bolted to my feet. She blinked twice, as if in warning. "Ash, whatever you do, don't hurt her!" she hissed. "The leaders are all going through immense stress because of the upcoming events. I suspect her fall is related to the same."

"All the more reason to visit her," I replied, then waved her goodbye and broke into a jog to the hostel's hospital wing. Students were crowded around a screen, and I spotted all of her friends minus Lisia there.

"Shauna," I called out to the brown-haired girl, deciding she was the best person to ask in the crowd gathered. The girl had worry lines on her forehead but nevertheless attended to my call. "What happened? Is she okay?" I found myself asking her in an agitated voice.

"I don't know yet, but she fainted mid-stair because she hasn't had anything since yesterday's lunch! She was too worried to have dinner yesterday, and then she woke up late today, and the leaders were called during lunch for a meeting! Oh, I should have taken better care of her!" The girl looked close to tears, and I had to gather all my courage to console her, while internally cursing myself for the fiasco.

"Hey, I'm sure she'll be fine. Serena's strong, and she's fallen loads of times." I couldn't control the chuckle that escaped me, despite the tension built up inside me. "The first time I met her, she had scraped her knee."

Shauna let out a little laugh, and she relaxed a bit. We were joined by Calem, Tierno, and Trevor, and I didn't mind my hood being down. Besides, Calem looked weary himself as he slumped onto a bed beside the screen, and I remembered Misty's words with slight sympathy.

A few tense minutes passed before Sister Joy came out from behind the screen with a small smile. I immediately looked up at her. "How's Serena, Sister Joy?"

"Your friend is fine," she said, and we let out collective gasps of relief. My tension didn’t abate still, and I looked at her, urging her to continue. "She's weakened and has sprained her ankle. I must have a word with your class teacher." She looked at Calem, who had his eyes as wide as dinner plates. "The leaders are exhausted!" she sighed, before handing Calem an electrolyte and leaving.

"That's true, though," Calem admitted. "We had continuous meetings and planning. It's all tiring us out."

"Did you have your lunch?" Tierno asked him. Calem gave a sheepish grin. The former sighed. "Let's get to the dining hall and buy you something, c'mon. Trevor's hungry too."

The boy looked hesitant. I spoke up to reassure him. "That's okay. We don't want you to be weakened too. I'll stay back." Shauna bobbed her head along with my words. Having found no other reason, he was dragged along by Trevor and Tierno. Silence reigned, and I contemplated what to say.

"You..." Shauna started, cutting me some slack. She looked reluctant but finally voiced her thoughts. "You still care about her?"

I blinked. How could I not?

"Of course, I do. I don't like seeing her... hurt."

Shauna nodded. "I did witness your anger at Calem. It was a misunderstanding, though," she added the last part with a clumsy action of her hands. "Serena was just feeling under the weather. Nothing more."

An awkward silence settled before Shauna spoke up again. "Why, then?"

"Huh?"

"You said you don't like seeing her hurt." Her tone was calm, but I could sense an underlying fury. I scratched the flesh of my palm nervously.

"Yes."

"Then why are you okay with hurting her?"

I felt a million emotions piercing my chest for reasons unknown: grief, sympathy, hurt, frustration, rage, and melancholy. I stared at my boots. My lips moved of their own accord as I formed a vaguely constructed answer.

"Funny how a person can make your heart beat faster when you don't want it to beat at all, isn't it?" My eyes scanned the brunette, but she wore a contemplative expression. Letting out a short sigh, I spoke one of the mantras of teenagers: "You don't know how I feel."

Shauna hesitated, biting her lip and leaning back. "I don't know you personally, but Serena's told me enough about you to ascertain you as the boy behind her everyday smile. Tell me about it."

I was the person behind her... everyday smile?

"I—I'm honored she thinks as such, even though I let her down," I said softly and felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I just decided to raise walls against the only person I was open to... because of a silly gamble."

It felt better to lift it off my chest. Shauna didn’t seem to mind, and I noted her fury had dissipated. "A silly gamble, huh? I suppose you can still right things?"

I nodded fervently and clasped my hands together. "That had been my intention this evening. Well, before I saw her there... on the floor. I guess I just lost my senses at that sight."

"I get that. And I don't believe you're a wrong person, just perplexed." Shauna heaved a sigh and stood up. "Ash, remember that a smile doesn't cost anything. In fact, even a look can end your fight. I'm always at your disposal, should it benefit my friend."

With that said, she left to join her friends in the dining hall. I sat back, mulling over my thoughts. Serena's soft snores greeted my ears, throwing my mind back to when I first arrived in Kalos. We had injured ourselves, and the next morning, I found myself serving her as a pillow.

If given the opportunity, I thought, a warm feeling filling me up. I would at least rekindle our friendship.