38.
chapter thirty-eight:
no, no, no!

I gripped the edge of my seat so hard that my knuckles turned white. We were five minutes into our social hour, and it was proving to be more exhausting than the rest of the day, given that it was the period right before lunch.

"As an introductory class, I'm going to check all your concentration levels!" he had said. "It's fairly simple!"

But it wasn't. I realized that the moment he asked everyone to close their eyes.

"Count three to one in your mind as you close your eyes."

Three. No, don't think unnecessary things. Two. One. Shut up.

"Now, imagine you're in a dark place."

A dark place could be a dark room—

I caught a taste of how mental struggle felt as the image of a nightmarish, alien place flashed in my mind. No, no, no!

"And you're sitting in front of a statue."

A statue! Not anything else—

"It can be of your deity, your role model, or your parents."

Fear crept in, and I thrashed it away. Role model! Like Himmel the Hero!

"Now, say you have flowers."

Just flowers, like Dandy!

"And you're going to place them on the statue."

My eyes shot open. I could no longer imagine it, lest I shout out loud. I took a deep breath and exhaled before slowly looking up at the man. He had noticed me and was giving me a sympathetic glance. I didn't like it, not even one bit.

"You have a pink flower, and a white one."

I tried to zone out and not think about the something that always occupied my headspace. Thankfully, the man, Professor Lysandre, finished quickly, and I didn't have to obey his orders. He then began explaining his assessments and evaluations.

"I'm afraid there are three people in this classroom with concentration problems," he said, and I bit my lip. Surely, I had made it onto the list. "Two of them, not a major problem. I think they were probably thinking about the delicious aroma of some baked good wafting through the windows." He peered at Tierno and Mallow, who stuck their tongues out.

Then he looked directly at me, and I shrank in my seat.

"That's okay," he said, but I couldn’t hear the conviction in his voice. He approached me and patted my shoulder. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from flinching. "Visit me after school. We can talk about it," he whispered, then left my side.

Whatever happened next, I had no clue. I successfully zoned out, staring at the back of Serena's head. I felt uncomfortable vibes from her too and wondered if she was affected the way I was and simply wasn't showing it. She was shifting in her seat often.

As soon as the class ended, everybody dispersed to lunch. I stayed behind, even as Gary asked. After most of the others were gone, Serena slipped me her rough notebook.

Neatly doodled on a page was a Squirtle comic. It was smiling, and there was a dialogue box.

'Dear Ash. 
It's okay to be sad. To cry. 
It's okay. 
Squirtle will choose you nevertheless. 
Smile now. Ta-da!'

I looked at the back of her golden hair with a small smile. That was so sweet of her.

I hastily scribbled beneath the comic: 'Thank you, Squirtle and Serena.' I handed it back to her. A heartbeat passed, and I stood up. I didn’t look at her when I left the classroom, but I could sense her eyes following me.

I knew I would never find the voice to talk to her right now, and I had to splash water on my face to cool off. So, I headed to the restrooms.

On my way, I met Alain with Brock and another guy. He informed me about the captain tryouts starting an hour after lunch, and with a nod, I was dismissed.

That’s it. All I have to do is focus on the tryouts, think of possible tactics, and I'll be fine.

Not even the sweetest of sugared donuts could improve my appetite as I sat by myself in the classroom. The cafeteria would be too noisy, and I, for some reason, was beginning to like the quiet. It felt like the calm inside a raging tornado.

I was casually playing the cracked version of Pokémon X that Clemont had installed on my phone when I received a notification.

Serena <3: Where are you? :0

I smiled to myself and typed a quick reply.

You: Classroom.

Serena <3: Want me to come over? :O

I considered the text for a minute. It would be nice having her beside me, even if it meant I wouldn’t ask her out just yet; I needed her company as my best friend.

You: Why not?

Serena <3: Be there in five! Don't flip the tables over by then! /(×o×)/

You: Yes, ma'am. ✋

As promised, she arrived in five minutes with a small bag and a tired smile. I smiled back at her as she settled in her seat and swung her legs the other way so that she was facing me.

"I brought some food from the cafeteria," she said, opening the bag and reaching into it. I saved my game progress and cast my phone aside as she proffered a lunch box. I figured it was hers, seeing the pale pink color scheme and the hearts along the lid.

"You didn't have to go through so much."

Serena narrowed her eyes at me with a pout. "Shut up. I figured you would like to eat somewhere peaceful rather than in the buzzing cafeteria. Oh, and I brought a sugar-coated donut that Mallow made for her club acceptance! They say sweet food improves your mood immediately."

I stared at her shuffling through the bag, amused. She wasn’t looking my way, so she hadn’t yet seen the already half-eaten sugar donut. Serena finally took out two tetra packs of flavored milk and placed them on the table.

"Strawberry for me and mango for you. Can you believe they’re selling broccoli ones? Like, seriously?" she chatted away, then finally met my eye. Her gaze lowered to my hand holding the donut, and then we burst into laughter. It lasted a good minute before we caught ourselves. "You could have told me you already had one!"

"I didn’t know you were picking up food!" I protested.

"Well, duh!" she harrumphed. "Lisia already shoved two of these down my throat and insisted I take three with me for you. Thankfully, I managed to place one on Shauna's plate. I can't have any more sugared donuts, or I'll get high on sugar!"

I laughed, the sound seeming foreign after days of gloom and misery. Serena was smiling sweetly at me, and I realized, with a great deal of embarrassment, that I had laughed at her. "I’m sor—"

"Oh, when will you stop apologizing?" she chided, opening her lunch box. I spotted two of her favorite cheesy wraps in it. She offered them to me. "You can take both too."

However, I only took one. For some reason, her presence had brought back my appetite, and I was soon gobbling down the food while Serena had the other.

It was true that time flies when you're having fun. One minute, we were talking about the addition of broccoli to the diet plan, and the next Serena was talking about visiting my tryouts and cheering me on alongside Dawn (the latter had already booked an appointment to do so).

Soon, lunch was over, and Professor Olympe was entering the class. Little did I know it would be the worst period of my entire academic life.

— 💌 —

This was one hell of a chapter to write. I remembered that as I edited this one, because this particular excerpt of Ash's classroom experience with his teacher actually happened with my friend and I. The former was severely affected, and it sort of saddened me too, even though I didn't show much like Serena does. So I decided to write it down, to raise awareness of how manipulative this world could get. Here's a hug for anyone who needs it: (⁠o⁠´⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠っ

I've got no clue who reads until here, but if you did, here's a good news. I'm planning to drop a short amour story on amour day (27/October)! How do you guys feel about it?

Also, the plot of teenager dream starts from the next chapter. I suppose my genius readers would have already figured that part out. ;)

How's the story so far? I'd love to hear your thoughts, now that we've come to teenage dream's part! <3

Thank you for reading!

Miyoko x