I exhaustedly set myself onto a chair in the restaurant, my eyes on Jenny as she flicked her hair behind her shoulders and looked up from her phone at me. My mom and Aisha had gone to the bathroom, leaving us with the responsibility to order for both of them. I ran a hand through my hair, scratching my scalp slightly before I reached for one of the menus.

"You okay?" Jenny asked. Her nails caught my attention. They were painted matte blue colour, to go with her dress. The function was going to be the next day and I was being extra careful with everything I touched. I'd gone for short nails seeing as I had a preference for them, and I failed to understand how Jenny managed to handle her long ones without fear that she'd damage one before the next day.

"I'm fine," I answered, opening the menu and checking the drink choices I had. "I'm just.....I've been thinking alot, about life, you know?"

She nodded, urging me to go on. I sighed.

"I know about what happened with Christina and Jaden,"

There was an awkward pause in which she set her phone on the table, her lips pursed. She raised an eyebrow at me. "Who told you?" She asked me. Her voice was stiff, adopting a tone I would never expect from her. I swallowed, looking at my menu instead of at her. I wondered whether I was willing to throw Hector under the bus when I remembered the bitterness in his tone when he had told me about what had happened.

"Hector told me. That day we went to the park. Well before that,"  I admitted, sighing, "And I wanted to tell you that I knew but I needed to think about it first."

"Jaden is a good person, Maddie."

I was shocked by the declaration. It had come from no where. Well, not really no where. I had expected that she would defend him- I hadn't expected that she would feel the need to prove to me that he was a good person. I also hadn't expected that I'd actually need the reassurance. I had been so sure that I knew exactly who I was dealing with but from time to time I had my doubts.

"I know that," I told her. "I just....I don't know why he didn't tell me all this himself. I mean, if I'm as important as he makes me seem why we would he keep it from me?"

She answered almost immediately, "Did you ask him about it?"

I clenched my jaw slightly. "I shouldn't have to ask," I told her. I was aware of how much of a hypocrite I was being. I had my own secret too. The difference was that I planned to open up sooner or later. Jaden didn't seem to have any plans of sharing any time soon.

"Look, Maddie, Jaden is complicated. You know that. I grew up around him and I've seen how hard it has been for him to make friends because of his temper and his background," she leaned towards me, the only barrier between us not being just the table. Her eyes held a level of sincerity I didn't feel like arguing with though, so I didn't argue. "He's going to take some time to fully trust you. I'm dating his brother, the more open one, and there are still so many things I have yet to know. But I have faith that he's going to tell me when he's ready. All it takes is a little patience."

I reached for her hand and gave it a tight squeeze, smiling at her. She smiled back at me.

"Thank you Jenny," I told her, "Really. Thank you."

She yanked at my hand, just as her phone beeped with a phone call from Uriah. Blushing, she excused herself and I watched her walk away, yawning slightly. I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

It had been a long day but it had been worth it. The city was gorgeous and still hot, despite the fact that we were going into fall pretty soon. I was grateful though. I wanted to take in as much sunshine as possible in case I decided  to spend my Christmas in New York. My dad had texted me after the call but we hadn't talked about Christmas. I knew he didn't want to pressure me, but it would have been nice to see him put more effort into convincing me. Why was I so complicated?

I got a text from Jaden and shamelessly clicked the notification as soon as it popped up.

JADEN <3: I miss you

JADEN<3: Let me take you out when you get back? Puhleeeeze?

I laughed and sent him a thumbs up emoji. I wanted to keep the conversation going but my mom and Aisha had come out of the bathroom, laughing at whatever. It was nice to see my mom with a friend, even better when the friend was my crush's mom. Could I even call Jaden my crush anymore? After how close we'd gotten?

"Have you decided what you want?" Mom asked, sliding into the seat right next to me. I automatically gravitated towards her. My mother had this way of emitting warmth wherever she was and I loved that about her. She quickly tied her blonde hair into a ponytail and folded her arms together. I didn't need to look underneath the table to be able to tell that she had done the same to her legs, crossing them at the ankles like she usually did. Like I was doing right now.

Jenny walked back to the table and sat besides Jaden's mom, smiling at her but tensely. They shared a knowing look and I was reminded of just how in the dark I was. Of course I would find a way to be jealous of my own best friend. I mentally kicked myself.

"Not yet," I told my mom, forcing my eyes back to her, "How about you order for the both of us?"

I scooted closer to her. She was staying in the city because she had to go do a round later that day. I reminded myself that I couldn't be jealous of Jenny and Aisha when my own mother was here. I reminded myself that Aisha was a mother figure for Jenny, who had a rough relationship with her own mother.

With little effort, I reminded myself not to be selfish. And that's how I knew that this place had changed me.

---------------

Jaden, Jenny, Uriah and I went to the skate rink. Jenny hadn't been lying when she had said that it would be full of people from our school, and it felt good to see people hanging out outside the whole party scene. Unfortunately, Hector and Christina were there too. I inwardly groaned as soon as I saw them.

"Cheer up man," Uriah nudged me as we walked in. Jaden and Jenny had gone to get skates, their eyes wide like children in a candy store. Despite knowing that he was a sweetheart and the more open between the two brothers, I still managed to find Uriah intimidating with his height and the fact that he was a year older than us. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, walking confidently, "I know they are assholes but that doesn't mean we have to let them affect our night."

"Just promise me you won't punch anyone this time," I countered, grinning at him.

He laughed audibly, rolling his eyes at me. "I solemnly swear that I won't lay a finger on anyone," he paused, his eyes finding Jenny as she reached over the counter to get a pair of skates. He cleared his throat, turning to look at me again, "I don't think I can keep that promise. I'm sorry."

"Gross," I muttered, laughing. He gave me a shy smile, shrugging at me and I didn't have the opportunity to answer because Jaden came up to us with two pairs of skates in his hands. I raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're expecting me to skate."

"Maddie, sweetheart," he gave me a look, "why would I bring you to a skating rink if I didn't expect you to skate?"

I narrowed my eyes at him to which he responded by wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"I thought I'd just sit at the side and watch," I told him, speaking slowly in hopes that he'd understand that I didn't skate. I wasn't graceful. I was clumsy as hell. Not to mention the fact that I was still too new in this town to consider embarrassing myself. Even if I had been here for a month practically. 

"You're asking me to allow you to sit at the side and risk random boys coming to flirt with you?" Jaden scoffed. "Funny. Put these on."

"Bossy much?" I retorted, taking the shoes from him nonetheless, my face red. I couldn't help but think about what he'd just said in a darker light. Boys coming to flirt with me was never welcomed- especially not after what had happened. I didn't like the thought of being alone at night. Even in a crowded place.

He held onto my hand as he was handing me the skates. "Don't worry about falling. I'll be with you the entire time."

And he was. His hands alternated between being on my waist and holding onto my hand. I kept one hand on the wall, allowing him to teach me but not trusting my balance yet. Some song by Bruno Mars was playing, fitting the mood perfectly and I found myself smiling.

"See?" He told me, "I told you you'd enjoy yourself."

"You're laughing at me aren't you," I answered, attempting to stop myself from falling. He tried to keep a straight face but ultimately failed. I nudged him with my elbow, rolling my eyes and he wrapped me into a hug from behind. I squealed, nearly falling, and kept my hand on the wall.

Some song from the nineties started playing and it dawned on me that I was skating in a small town with a boy I liked. I was living my teenage dream.  It was cut short though when I caught sight of Christina staring at us. I swallowed, feeling something shift in my stomach, and I twisted my head so that I could talk to Jaden.

"Help me get to the exit," I told him. "I need to use the bathroom."

"You okay?" He asked, taking note of my change of expression. I nodded absently, my gaze moving over to Christina again. She was whispering something into her brother's ear. He was staring at us, his fists clenched.

Something was happening.

Jaden didn't seem to notice. He rolled me towards the door and made a move to follow me off the rink but I stopped him, giving him a small smile. "I'll be fine," I told him. I was aware that my voice quivered. My mind was relaying the fact that I'd be walking off into the crowd, alone. I swallowed.

Hesitantly, he nodded. I hobbled awkwardly towards my shoes before I took off my skates and changed back into my flip flops. The bathrooms were surprisingly clean and empty. I stood in front of the mirror, running a hand through my hair. As expected, the next person that walked in was Christina.

"Maddie," she said, smiling at me, "Funny seeing you here."

"Is it?" I answered, turning to look at her. Her lips stretched into a tight smile and she leaned against one of the stall doors. I jerked my head in the direction of the door. "Why were you and your brother staring at us?"

She huffed. Under the yellow light, she looked like she had a halo around her. I couldn't lie, she was beautiful. But I couldn't see it properly because of how much she'd put my friends through.

"I was trying to calm my brother down," she told me. "It's no secret that he's into you. Him trying to flirt with you at the party was enough proof."

"Oh so what? He hated the sight of me and Jaden together?" I raised an eyebrow. This was unbelievably shallow.

"Actually, yes he did. He thought that telling you how dangerous Jaden was would help you see just who you were dealing with but it seems you're too stubborn to see sense," her answer was sharp and her tone caught me off guard.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Jaden cares about me. He wouldn't hurt me."

Christina chuckled bitterly, "If he cared about you so much, don't you think he would have told you about what happened with me? Don't you think he would have told you the reason why his parents divorced? I mean, you're the only person in your group who doesn't know what happened. You're just like the rest of us." 

She had struck a nerve. I had thought about this often. About how much I didn't know and how outside the group I actually was. I hated that she could enter my head and pull out my worries so easily. I didn't answer her. I pushed past her and left the bathroom, gasping at the warm, sweaty air of the rink. Jaden was sitting at one of the benches. He had both of our skates perched next to him as he bent over his phone. He looked up when I approached.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. I forced myself to nod.

"Yes...yeah. I'm just tired," I told him, "Can we leave now?"

He nodded, "Sure. Let me take out skates back."

I nodded, already feeling like there was a wedge between us. I watched him walk away, trying to relax my thoughts. Suddenly the music was too loud and nothing made sense at all.  Someone bumped into me and I jumped as their hand rested on the small of my back. My eyes met a familiar pair of  eyes.

"Sorry," Hector said, nodding at me absently before he stormed past me, towards the exit. I watched him until I felt Jaden's presence besides me.

He pretended like he hadn't seen Hector but I could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. He wrapped his hand around me, tighter than necessary.

"Let's go," he said. I nodded, still in a daze. Still wondering if I did belong.

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