Toby's P.O.V.

My hands were shaking slightly as I pulled up outside of Erin's house for the club meeting. Tonight I was going to confess my problems to my friends. Mostly I was going to do it so that Eliana would know because she deserved to, but I was to afraid to tell her alone. Everyone was already gathered when I went inside, minus Connor who hadn't been around after the incident at his house with Eliana. I was still furious about that.

I sat down and Erin started asking for updates on people who had shared before. When they finished she asked if anyone else would like to share. I nodded and slowly stood up.

"I wanna share." I said, my voice shaky. I took a deep breath. "As most of you know, when I was ten I watched my parents die. Since then I've struggled with a lot of things. First I got depressed. By the time I was twelve I started dealing with anxiety and panic attacks." I couldn't take the looks of pity any more so I closed my eyes as I continued. "When I was thirteen I started cutting to relieve the numbness I felt inside." I said rolling up the sleeves of my hoodie to reveal the scars. "Then when I was fourteen I discovered alcohol as a relief from reality." I opened my eyes again and met Eliana's pained, tear filled eyes.

"Toby, I'm so sorry." She whispered.

I smiled sadly. "It's not your fault."

"When was the last time you cut?" She asked timidly.

"June 18." I replied. It was the night before I started to realize I had feelings for Eliana.

Her eyes widened. "God I'm so stupid." She exclaimed. "I saw the marks on your arm but I was too stupid to connect the dots."

"Ellie, it's not your fault." I told her. "I had already done it then. It's not like you could change anything."

She nodded, close to tears. I sighed. "Come here." I said holding my arms out to her. She stood up and fell into my arms.

"I don't like it when your hurt." She whispered, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"It's okay." I whispered back.

"Promise you won't do it again." She begged.

I swallowed. "I can't." I said my voice tight. "But I can promise you that I'll try not to."

She nodded against my chest. "That'll work for now."

I looked up and realized that at some point everyone had left us alone. I took a deep breath. Now would be a good time to tell her the rest.

"Eliana?" I said timidly.

"Yes?" She responded.

I cleared my throat. "There's something else I need to tell you."

"Okay. What is it?" She asked.

I pulled her down beside me on the couch. "Well uh.." This was so hard to say, but I knew that if I was falling in love with her and ever wanted to move past being friends that she needed to know. "Before I starting drinking, I uh," I pause. "Ellie, I was suicidal." I said. She gasped. "I hated my life. I hated therapy, I hated America, I even hated happy families. I just didn't see the point in living, but then my sister, I don't know if I told you about her, got pregnant." My voice got thick as I continued. "The first time I held my niece and nephew I knew I couldn't do it." I stopped as tears streamed down my face.

"Toby, I'm so sorry!" Eliana said wrapping me up in a hug. "No kid deserves to go through what you did." Her tears mingled with mine as we sat there wrapped in each other's arms.

"You mean, you don't hate me or think I'm crazy?" I asked worriedly.

She looked at me in shock. "Of course not!" She protested. "So you had suicidal thoughts but you didn't act on them. You've gone nearly a month without cutting and you haven't been drunk in days. Toby, your so much stronger than you think." She said passionately.

"Thank you." I whispered sincerely.

Her eyes traveled to my lips before locking with my eyes, asking a silent question. I nodded slightly and she pulled my head down, pressing her lips against my. As I tasted her tears on her lips I knew. I wasn't falling in love, I had already fallen. I loved that she cried for me. I loved the way she felt in my arms. I loved her laugh, her, smile, her voice, everything about her. I loved her. I was in love with Eliana Mae Byrd.

   Just as I almost blurted out my feelings, the door burst open and me and Eliana sprang apart. We started at Erin, Britt and Blake like deer caught in head lights.

"Aha!" Erin exclaimed. "I told you we would ruin a moment if we walked in now!"

"We did not ruin anything." Blake rolled his eyes.

"Yes we did idiot!" Erin yelled. "Can't you tell they were kissing?"

Blake turned to us and narrowed his eyes. He took in our flushed faces and slightly swollen lips. "Is my boy finally getting some?" He smirked.

I scowled. "It's none of your business." As much as I was annoyed that they interrupted us, I was also grateful. Eliana was still getting over her breakup with Connor and I don't think she's ready for anymore confessions from me tonight.

Britt squealed as if just now catching on. "They were so kissing! I totally ship this!" She said excitingly.

Blake sighed in exasperation. "Honey, this is why we don't take you out in public."

She turned and glared at him. "What are you implying?" She asked.

"That your slow and embarrassing?" Erin volunteered.

I turned back to Eliana as they continued to argue. She was looking down at her lap, her face still flushed in embarrassment at having been caught kissing. I smiled slightly. She was just so cute. "Hey, wanna get out of here?" I asked.

"Yes!" She nodded frantically. We slipped past the arguing trio and ran to my truck. Erin had picked Eliana up earlier today and brought her so she didn't have a car to worry about.

   When we pulled up in my driveway, she turned to me and gave me one last kiss before running inside. I swear that one kiss made me forget more than a hundred beers could. That night I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

                         ~~~

Okay guys, long authors note tonight. First, there is probably less than ten more chapters to the story which means we are coming to an end! Which brings me to point two! After the last chapter I want to do a q&a chapter so PLEASE! Comment any questions for me OR any character from the book and I will answer them at the end of the book. Thirdly, if you would like to read in someone besides Eliana and Toby's point of view then comment who you want to sees point of view AND what you would like to see through their eyes and I will try to write a bonus chapter in their point of view. If you actually read this whole long note, thanks! I hope to find some comments on what y'all want!

Mara