Chapter 19:

"Don't you find this disgusting?" Aaron asked. Squatted in front of him, Lou was spreading the lotion across his legs and feet after he'd finished his upper body. "I mean, don't you ever feel, like, ew no I don't want to touch his feet?"

Lou stopped and straightened and looked at Aaron through sorrowful concern. It hurt his heart that his baby thought of himself that way: insignificant and repulsive. The impacts of awful parenting.

But Lou said, brow raised, "No, baby. Of course not. Plus, you had a bath. Thank God for that." There was a tinge of playful mockery in his voice. "Kidding. I actually don't mind. I love taking care of you." Just like your parents should've, Lou wanted to add, but he decided against it.

Aaron forced a laugh and watched as Lou hunkered down again and continued lathering the sunscreen. "You seem like a cool guy." Lou didn't react save for a hint of a smile. Aaron continued, "You must've been one of these super cool and popular kids back in school."

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Lou looked at Aaron. "I don't wanna brag, but yeah, I was. And I like to think that I still am."

Aaron hummed. His purpose was to evaluate how gullible Lou was. "Too bad you can't be cool anymore. All you can be is my servant, if you think about it." The words tasted bitter in his mouth. Too weirdly pretentious. "I mean, you can't go out and have fun. Because you have to look after me all the time."

The arch to Lou's brown brow seemed both challenging and knowing. "Really?" He leant forwards, pressing a palm flat on the table beside Aaron, the edge of his lip tugging upwards. "I think I can be cool while taking care of you, don't you?"

Aaron didn't want to trigger Lou, so he quickly said, "I do. I was joking. You're the coolest," and leant in for a brief deceitful hug. When he lifted his chin over Lou's shoulder, he noticed Mommy passing by the room—but slowly enough for him to catch her expression: she looked at them, frowned, then forcefully smiled again.

Lou chuckled at Aaron's response. Almost instinctively, he reached his palm out and was about to clap Aaron hard on the back. But then he stopped. Frowned. Mused. Then he quickly swapped the clap with a gentle stroke.

Lou left to change into trunks of his own, then went back to his baby and carried him outside, to the back yard. Much to Aaron's pleasure, it was circled all around with the iron fencing exactly like the front yard, except that a large rectangular pool occupied the middle and a couple of chairs and a small table lined the edges.

Leo was there, strolling around the pool, his feet lined at the very edge as he easily balanced his way along. Aaron's heart dropped when Leo wavered a little, his upper body leaning towards the vast space of water as his feet tumbled, and then after a short battle for balance, he crashed entirely into the pool. The water cracked around his body and droplets sprinkled everywhere.

For a second, Aaron's body took position with tense fear: his shoulders stiffened, his grey eyes widened and his heart leapt out of his chest, crashing against his ribs. Surely Leo couldn't swim. Surely he'd drown now.

But then to Aaron's surprise, Leo's head broke from beneath the clear water, droplets splashing around as he skillfully resurfaced. The dampness brought to his light hair a darker shade as it lay against his forehead, but that was until Leo brought his hand up and flicked the obscuring strands away from his eyes. His eyes were revealed, and the water around him bowed in shame at their outshining vibrancy, jealous that their blueness was a natural bliss while all it did was reflect the color of the sky.

Leo swam closer until he was floating by the edge beside Lou and Aaron. "Come swim, Aar," he said, stretching his arm out towards Aaron. But Aaron didn't respond. He stared at his lap. "Aar?"

"I don't want to," Aaron said, and in the mere second he held eye contact with Leo, he saw disappointment. He'd confess if he had to, but right then looked like he had a chance to avoid it.

"But—"

"Leo," Lou said, placing Aaron down by the edge of the pool. "He doesn't want to. Leave him, baby. He'll swim when he wants to."

Aaron stayed still for a moment, but then he hesitantly swung his legs down the edge, letting his feet sink into the water. The water was perfectly cool, and it felt good against his skin. Every time Leo moved, ripples traveled towards Aaron until they lapped at his feet, tickling his ankles.

Right now felt like a short detachment from the world. No shouting, no crying, no talking. Just water splashing against concrete. Aaron's eardrums and nerves smiled contently before his mouth ever did, and he closed his eyes unawarely. For a second, he just savored the peaceful moment. Forgot about the situation, like the water at his feet was sucking out every intoxicating thought in his mind.

Lou watched Aaron, smiling at how peaceful he looked: shoulders relaxed, lips languidly pulled up, lashes gathered over his cheekbones. One of the rare times Aaron would actually seem calm. Relaxed. Genuinely relaxed. It filled Lou with relief, relief that his baby was getting some of the serenity he deserved. His eyes softened, and he wished he could maintain Aaron's small smile like that forever. He wished he could make it up for all the misery his father had caused him before.

The sound of footsteps from behind broke Aaron's trance, and had him glancing over his shoulder instinctively, only to realize something horrid: Daddy was shirtless, all tan skin showing, and he looked twice as strong as Lou. His six pack was painfully clearly defined, his expansive chest screamed with strength, and his sculpted arms had muscular sinews along their lengths. Seeing all that made Aaron sure that Daddy could hold him and Leo at the same time all day; both of them together were featherlight in comparison to his burly physique.

Did all the captors work out just to tolerate his and Leo's weight?

Daddy walked closer, crouching down next to his baby afterwards. "Do you want to swim, baby?" Aaron shook his head with his eyes downcast. Daddy pursed his lips. "Are you sure? The water's calling for you."

Aaron shook his head again, and Daddy wanted to insist, but Leo distracted him by tugging his arm.

"Come, Daddy," Leo said. "Aar'll swim when he wants to."

Daddy surrendered then slipped into the pool and played with Leo. Lou went in too, but he kept glancing at Aaron from the corner of his eye, worrying about how he just stayed still, occasionally pushing his feet further into the water and fiddling with his fingers. Eventually, he swam closer to him, debating whether he should prod him or not.

"Baby, come," Lou finally said." Why don't you try? Leo's having fun, you'll like it, I promise."

Aaron hesitated for a moment. "I don't know how to swim."

Lou's lips formed into an O with apologetic realization, but then he smiled. "It's okay, baby. Leo also didn't know. But we taught him. And we'll teach you too, but right now, come with me." Lou cautiously slipped an arm around Aaron's waist, praying that he wouldn't snap at him.

And Aaron didn't, only because Daddy was close and he didn't want to trigger him. It was horrifying to wake up thinking his legs had been injected, and he didn't want to turn that into reality. Lou took Aaron's silence as approval, so he guided his arm around his neck and pulled him down into the water with him. "See, isn't it nice?"

No, Aaron thought. Not at all.

The water itself felt nice against him, but having to hang to a captor so he wouldn't drown—that was dignity-shattering.

Lou moved with him in the water closer to Leo. Leo smiled as he watched Aaron. "Aar," he said, clapping as if he'd done an achievement. "You came!"

"Yeah." Aaron forced a smile just for Leo. "I did."

And they stayed like that for a while: Leo having the time of his life, splashing everyone, climbing over Daddy's back then jumping into the water, being the energetic mischievous boy he was. It was going fine, until Aaron heard footsteps echoing from the back. When he turned to inspect, he found Mommy standing behind. She was wearing black shorts and a magenta tank top, and her facial expression screamed with sadness—she looked disappointed. Left out. Aaron almost felt bad for her. Almost.

Aaron's with Lou and Leo's with Daddy, Mommy thought. Who was left for her?

"Mommy!" Leo called, waving his hand at her frantically. "Come, Mommy. Swim with us!"

Aaron watched carefully as a smile broke the disappointed sheen on Mommy's face, and it brightened progressively as she hastened across the grass and stepped into the pool. Leo's arm remained outstretched until she was beside him, and he held her hand. Aaron noticed that Leo wouldn't forget anyone, that he'd share his positivity with everyone justly. He could make anyone happy.

And it continued; Leo played with everyone, releasing all of his energy as he messed and moved around like a sugar-high child. Aaron didn't really participate. He just kept himself secluded, but as he watched them, he felt a quivering pain overwhelm his heart. Everyone looked happy—smiles were all over the place, excited squeals echoed, and hearty laughter rippled in the air like the water in the pool. The sounds altogether formed a jovial melody, yet it filtered into Aaron's ears as sorrowful. Sorrowful because he'd never be able to be that happy. Sorrowful because he never had a family, and maybe he didn't want one.

He watched them sadly, but seeing Leo so happy, possibly oblivious of the horrendous situation, carefree and jovial as he played, Aaron felt something turn in his brain. Maybe it was better for Leo to be brainwashed. To be unaware of the cruelty of the world and the bizarre situation he was caught in. To be just happy.

And maybe, Aaron wished he could be like him—

The thought cut off at an instant, and a blaring alarm started through his head. Aaron froze, his face paling as he took in the bizarre thought that had just crossed his mind. What the hell was he thinking? He wanted to stop everything and slam his head against a wall until he'd forget all about it: the fact that he'd almost considered this situation as happiness.

No no no, Aaron thought, his heart pacing unhealthily fast. You're getting brainwashed. Don't let it happen. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Lou felt how his baby was suddenly tense. "Um, baby? Are you alright?"

"Get me out."

As pale as Aaron already was, his face turned even worse: snowdrop-white. It scared Lou, made his heart clench. He lost the rare privilege to see his baby calm, and now the tension came back, snatching away all the previous built-up serenity like a hand flicking one domino and sending the entire chain to ruins. "Out of where, love?"

"Out of the water, please." Every word wavered. Aaron desperately tried to call for order in his mind, to calm the raging storm consuming his composure and convince his brain cells to stop goddamn panicking.

Lou quickly swam with him to a flat, rectangular floatie then placed him on top, eyeing him worriedly.

Now that he was distanced from everyone, Aaron relaxed a little and his nerves settled, no longer sharp-edged. He breathed out shakily and desperately convinced himself that he wouldn't let himself get brainwashed. He was going to escape, go back home, finish education then run away from his father. Getting brainwashed was not on the list, and he hoped that he'd be strong enough to protect his sanity.

After a while, Leo swam up to Aaron, placing his arms on the floatie as he looked up at him with curious eyes. "Aar, don't want to swim more?"

"Leo, I want to, but..." Aaron paused, then decided to just tell him. "I don't know how to swim."

Aaron braced himself for Leo's laughter, for childish mockery and teasing. But it never happened. Leo didn't really react, just stared at him for a while with empathetic eyes, unfazed by the announcement.

"It's okay, Aar. Don't be sad. I didn't know how to swim too. Daddy taught me," Leo said, his eyes gleaming with the utmost of assurance. His lips curved into a comforting smile, one so deeply genuine it somehow comforted Aaron. Somehow made him feel better. Leo didn't make a move to turn back. Instead, he clutched the edges of the floatie and tried pulling himself on top, failing as his wet hands kept slipping.

Leo stopped trying after a little while and stared at Aaron through an accusing frown. "Help me, Aar."

Aaron quickly caught Leo's arm and helped him climb up. "Sorry," he mumbled as Leo settled down beside him. Then Leo put a hand on the front of his shoulder and pushed him back, but Aaron didn't move along, frowning instead. "What?"

"Want to lie down," Leo said, straining to push Aaron down again. "You too."

Aaron scooted closer to the edge to make more space for him. "Go ahead. I wanna get out of the pool."

"No, Aar. Why? Stay, please."

"I really want to get—" Aaron paused when he failed in front of Leo's puppy dog look: eyes wide and pleading, the white of reflection swirling as he blinked, small lips pouty and magically imploring. Aaron couldn't say no to that face. No one could. Leo had the aura of a charismatic child—the one whom even the adults would fight over to hold and play with. Except that he wasn't a child. Except that he was a teenager. Aaron sighed then lay down on his side, one hand patting the space beside him for Leo to join. "Come."

Leo smiled. He sprawled down in front of Aaron, resting his head against his upper arm that he stretched straight above him. The floatie swayed slightly with them. Tiny cold drops of water splashed delicately onto their skin every now and then.

They were laying in front of each other, and Aaron's eyes firstly clashed with the scars on Leo's frail back. Up close, they were horrible to look at. Much more defined, painful and distinct against his skin. Slashes and small burn marks spread all across the expanse of the area, both of which Aaron knew the origin too well. Belts and cigarettes.

He knew how painful it was for a leather belt to slam against his back, to peel off the skin as it slid with scorching friction, or for the burning tip of a cigarette to char his flesh. And to think that Leo had undergone all this crap at some point... The idea made Aaron sick, made his stomach knot until it almost ushered the food up his throat.

Then something caught his attention.

Among the masses of scars, a group on the back of Leo's shoulder seemed like they were forming something. A pattern maybe. Aaron hesitantly reached his hand towards them, squinting as he traced each scar down with cautious delicacy, his fingers featherlight against Leo's skin. Leo didn't react at first as Aaron continued tracing the scars, either because he didn't really care or he'd fallen asleep. But soon, he craned his neck and strained to peek at Aaron over his shoulder, his brows furrowed. "What are you..."

Leo didn't even finish his question when he realized what Aaron was doing, and instead of stopping him, he just rested his head on his upper arm again and sighed loudly. Without a word. Not one even. Aaron was about to stop in case it had bothered him, but it was at that second that his vision suddenly sharpened enough to unravel the mess, and the realization hit him like a punch in the face.

The scars didn't form a pattern. They formed a word.

BAD

It was messy and barely legible, and Aaron thought he was hallucinating for a second, but then an unfortunate confirmation riddled his peripheral. On the back of Leo's arm was another group of scars that formed the same word again, this time clear and averagely big. BAD. How had he not noticed that before?

At first, Aaron thought that it was possibly self harm, but the scars weren't somewhere he could possibly reach for with a knife himself. Them being on the back of his shoulder and arm made it clear that someone had done it to him.

Aaron shuddered when he imagined Leo screaming as someone cut through his skin with a knife, possibly, or any sharp tool that shouldn't be anywhere near such a fragile, defenseless person. Bloodcurdling screeches filled his hearing, and he fought against clamping his hands to his ears as the sound echoed through his skull.

Leo wasn't bad. As far as Aaron had seen, Leo was sweet, positive—all but bad, and he somehow felt that even as a normal fifteen-year-old, he'd still have a similar personality. Aaron instantly felt a burning grudge against whoever had done all that to Leo. And the suspects included Daddy. Bad was a word Daddy would possibly call Leo for disobeying, and perhaps he'd been too rebellious at first that the captors put him through such a punishment. But then again, would they really do that? Go that far? Aaron doubted it, then he doubted his doubts, and in the process he felt his mind tear apart.

Aaron's eyes trailed along Leo's side, inspecting the scars, and then he remembered that horrible one on his stomach. He propped himself on an elbow and peeked over Leo's side, his eyes landing upon the unmistakable scar again.

Carefully, Aaron neared his hand to it, and as soon as his fingertip touched the damaged skin, just as it came in contact with the jagged edges, Leo's hand came flying over, latching over Aaron's—gripping it forcefully, grasping onto it like he'd been about to press the world-ending button. But even with the sudden outburst of strength, even with the very tight grip that cried out with warning, Aaron felt Leo's hand tremble against his own. There was weakness: always at the origin of anger and power, always the very root from which intense emotion sprouted.

Leo guided Aaron's hand away then let go of it. "How..." Aaron mumbled. Even as the faint breeze swept his voice away, Leo heard it.

"Don't, Aar. Don't ask. Please." Leo sat up impetuously, facing away, but Aaron sensed the tension in his body, saw it: the way his back was taut, shoulders tight and rigid, and the way his hand gripped the edge of his floatie—everything about him screamed uncomfortable. Aaron reached to touch his arm placatingly, but Leo moved away then slipped into the water. This surprised Aaron; Leo was cuddly, he usually liked physical affection—hugs and cuddles especially when he was sad.

Leo turned to Aaron again, and Aaron almost gasped at the difference in his eyes; the blue color was no longer reflective, no longer vibrant and open. It was suddenly dark and reserved, guarded with strong bars of misery. Of an inescapable past. Aaron strained to look past them, yet all he found was vague remnants of memories Leo didn't want to remember.

Maybe Aaron was overthinking, maybe he was imagining, but he related to that. He knew how difficult it was to look past the horrible things his father had done to him. He knew how it felt like to be helplessly caught in a battlefield midst thousands of memories and nightmares, helpless, pleading them to leave him yet all they'd do was swamp his mind further, drown him whole like they didn't care about the pain they caused him. And of course they didn't.

Aaron looked beyond Leo, and he found the captors packed in the background, all their faces dripping with sadness. The way Aaron looked at them, it conveyed the question in his mind clearly. What happened to him? And the way the captors looked back, the way their eyes were filled with tragedy—that, that was enough to keep Aaron worried about Leo for a lifetime.

Their faces warned him never to open that discussion again.

Aaron felt a lump expand in his throat, slowly clogging up the space. Suddenly he doubted his desire to know what happened to Leo. He wished that Leo really were his little brother, because maybe then he would've protected him. Maybe then he wouldn't have allowed anyone to touch him.

He looked away, now even more determined to save himself and Leo from this situation so he'd perhaps go back to his normal life. Back to being a teenager. His eyes glided up the house, studying the architecture for an easier escape.

Then he noticed something: far up on the second floor and to the left, was a tiny window, the only one among the others to have no metallic bars guarding it.

Plan A: front door

Plan B: window

*_*_*_*_*

Quick question: what's been your favorite scene/chapter so far? I'd love to know!

unedited, sorry for the typos. tysm for reading/voting commenting<33